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"You always gain by giving love."— Reese Witherspoon
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Chapter 44
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"Don't do anything that I wouldn't do, alright?" Jax told me.

I chuckled into the phone. "You know it."

Maggie hummed for a moment before saying, "Well...whatever pleases your innocent soul, babe."

At my shaky sigh, Jax spoke again.

"Hey, don't stress," he reassured me. "You've been alone with him before, right? So, what's different now?"

Everything, I wanted to say.

Instead, I chose, "You're right." Saying it aloud was for the both of us.

"Well, we're going to let you go," Maggie said. "I'm expecting a group call as soon as you're home."

"Agreed," Jax added. "Love you, babes."

I chuckled at this. "Bye, guys. I love you too." We said our last farewells, before I ran my hands down the black pants Raven had helped me find.

It was the only comforting thing I could manage, along with the pretty black blouse to match. I ended the fit with a pair of matching pumps, and a few jewelry pieces.

I had to suppress a yawn once again, continuing to rub at my eyes. Last night had really done a toll on me. Or, well...he had.

It was nearing noon, now. I hated to admit that I was slightly impatient with this, but I was, without a doubt. I'd only gotten a couple of hours of sleep, and I spent the entire morning nursing a headache and my panic. The day definitely hadn't been easy.

Celeste had saved my ass, once again. She told my dad that I was working an extra long shift today, so that I was able to go out with Kade. She truly was a savior.

I was able to pull some strings with her, though I promised to work extra hours tomorrow morning to cover for it. It was going to be an interesting Saturday, but I accepted it nonetheless.

There were only a couple of days left of my suspension, and I wasn't looking forward to it. At all.

I knew that Amber had a lot of friends, which meant a lot of defenders on her part, and probably even more lies to tell about me.

I wasn't worried though. Something light pinched at me chest, something relieving. I still had my friends, and for the first time, I wouldn't be alone in defending myself. I knew that Maggie would be the first to use violence if needed, even though she swore not to.

Yeah, right.

A knock sounded out at my foot. I looked up in time to catch Teresa in my doorway, a small smile on her face.

"Hey, you better hurry, and go before your dad gets home," she told me.

My stomach churned at the sound of the familiar engine outside of my window. "He's here, isn't he?"

Teresa's face transitioned into something entirely different. Her smile was knowing. "Mhm, he is, and I think there's something you want to see." She stepped out of the way to allow me passage through.

I rushed past her like a supernatural being. If logic was on my side, my feet would have slowed me down to save me from the panic.

I yanked the door open. The first thing my gaze went to was him. "Are you—" my words fell into a quiet corner as I looked to his hands.

They were full. And, I mean full.

I felt my heart squeeze tight in my chest as I saw how serious he was about this.

In one hand, was the same dish we had tried together at his home, wrapped in plastic wrap and the pack of candy on top. Gummy Nachos. It meant that he made them himself.

In his arms was a small fluffy plush, which held a box of expensive looking chocolates. I felt my heart stir at the significance of his gifts.

And, it was amazing.

I didn't notice until I stepped closer to him. In his free hand was a chocolate milkshake with Oreos, the one I would only eat at the diner. The same one he'd paid for when we first met.

My cheeks were stretched so far apart, I felt pain for a slight second. "I thought you said you weren't the type of guy to bring flowers." I took a step down so that we were leveled.

His frown only brought on more grins. "They're not flowers, they're nachos. With gummy bears," he corrected.

I chuckled as I took the milkshake from his hands. "How did you do all of this?" Instead of words, he granted me his silence. I smiled, grazing my hand against his jaw. "Tell me, please."

Finally, he cleared his throat, his eyes elsewhere. "I went, and asked your aunt for all of your favorite foods."

He nodded down at the container of nachos. "I spent all morning on the nachos until they tasted like the ones you made. So...I hope you like them."

"What?" my voice broke into a squeak. "Really?"

His cheeks went as red as a tomato as he nodded. I fought back another grin, my hands tightening around the cup. I didn't know what I thought he'd do, but it wasn't this.

My voice softened as I smiled at him. "Thank you, Kade." My hand fell from him before I flicked my head behind me. "I'll be right back,
okay?"

When he nodded, I turned and walked to Teresa, who had watched the entire situation in awe. I felt my blush rise but carried on nonetheless.

I didn't stop until I was in front of her. "I just wanted to thank you for what you did, and for what you're doing now." Without her and Celeste, there was no way I would've been able to get away with this.

She shook her head, a soft smile stretching across her lips. "Don't thank me, hun. I'm happy to help in anyway that I can. And, I know that I've made my mistakes, and for that I am sorry. But, I'm trying and I will continue to try to make up for that," she started, her eyes hopeful. "And, I know that I can never be your mother, nor do I deserve it for treating you the way I did, but...I hope you know that I look at you like you're my daughter."

I didn't sense any malice, or falsehood in her tone, and I found myself believing her more than not. I didn't trust her fully, but a part of me believed that one day, perhaps I could.

Despite that, I knew that she had a lot to do with this and a lot of things I'd been able to do lately. Even if I wanted to hide it, my gratitude towards her was strong.

I was too lost for words, had it be her confession or the boy behind me who was probably staring holes into the back of my head. Instead of speaking, I smiled at her once more, and nodded in appreciation.

I turned to Kade, who my guess had been right on. "Ready to go?"

He nodded his head, though I caught the way his eyes squinted at Teresa. I knew that he was still worried about where I stood with her, and I couldn't blame him. I was the same way, but perhaps things could shift between us over time.

"Teresa," he started, his eyebrow raised down at me. "You sure about her?"

I glanced back at her from over my shoulder. "Yeah...I think I am." I only hoped she wouldn't do anything to change that.

***

My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head. "You did amazing," I complimented around the bite.

Kade shook his head at my words, his humor-filled eyes flickering to me. "You don't have to lie to me, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, I'm always honest about food."

He chuckled at me. "Your aunt was really informative," he admitted. "All credit goes to her."

Giggling, I nodded. "Of course she was." I bit into the tater-tot casserole again, practically drooling at the taste. "So, you've been talking to Celeste, huh?"

His cheeks rung with a red tiny as he shrugged. "Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders, bypassing his body. "I just...didn't want to screw this up, you know?"

I placed the fork down, tilting my head at him. "You won't. Trust me, you've been amazing so far." I had to stop myself from pointing out how deep I'd fallen the moment I saw him and his effort.

Kade nodded, tugging on his bottom lip. Finally, he leaned back onto his elbows, his eyes running over me. "No hoodie today, huh?"

His chuckle made my cheeks pinch red. "You should be thankful for that."

"I'm thankful that you listened to me about your arms," he acknowledged. "And, I'm proud that you're showing those pretty scars of yours, sweetheart. That's my girl."

His voice dipped, as did his hand. It went straight to my wrists, tapping at the pale scars, a proud glint in his eyes.

It was strange, really. Ever since he'd spoken to me about the scars, I hadn't even acknowledge them as much as I used to, nor had I felt the need to add more. When I picked my outfit out, I didn't think about them, not once.

Even now, when I expected to be shameful at his acknowledgement of the scars, I wasn't. I was proud, comfortable, and confident in them. As he said, there was nothing that I could do about them being there. I could appreciate them for what they were, kiss them, and move on. That was what I planned to do.

I smiled in appreciation at him, and he returned it, his fingers still tracing the skin. I'd never let anyone touch them before, but when he did, I'd never felt so safe.

He tilted his head, his lips pursing as he turned his head away from me. I frowned as I watched the shit-eating grin take place.

"What is it?" I questioned.

He took a chip from the container next to us. "Nothing, really. I'm just excited as shit."

My eyebrow raised. "And, why is that?"

He bit back another grin before shrugging. "It's nothing," Before I could press, he switched the conversation. "I'm sorry I couldn't have gotten you earlier."

I rolled my eyes, and went along with it. "Another meeting with Chivo, I'm guessing?"

"Nah," he responded, smiling. "Not this time."

I had to will my heart from stopping at the pretty sight. I forced a frown as he averted his gaze from my own. "What is it?"

My suspicious green at his mischievous expression. As I continued to stare, his head dipped for a moment, before raising again.

"I think you're going to like it," he teased me. "Actually, I know you are."

I offered a stale smile. "If only you would tell me what it is."

"If only, huh?" he mumbled, his hand falling onto mine.

I looked at his hand, my breath caught in my throat. His touch was like a shield from reality, the sensation almost unbearable.

With my eyes stuck on our hands, I upturned mine, and squeezed his. I raised my eyes to him, to see that his eyes were already on mine.

Currently, we were in a park. Since most of the people were either at work, or at school, we were lucky enough to have the spot to ourselves. I didn't know how long we had been here, talking, eating, or just questioning each other. Either way, I would rather be here than anywhere else.

I broke our connection. "Why aren't you in school?" I questioned him, tossing back a tater tot.

Kade plucked the grass underneath him, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip. "I had no reason to go."

"Won't they call your mom?"

"Probably, but it's whatever." He chuckled at this. "She's too busy with her new boyfriend."

My head tilted at this. "You don't like Louise?"

I didn't really know him since I had only met him once. But, I knew that it was hard to get on Kade's good side, so he'd definitely have a fun time trying.

He snorted. "He's a bullshitter. Way too perfect. And, Susie's falling for it all over again." His head fell, and his voice did too. "She never was good at picking men."

I squeezed his hand tighter without even thinking about it. "I'm sorry."

I didn't quite know what to say. I knew enough about his father's history with their family, but not enough to put my two cents in.

Just as he realized the trance he must have been in, he shook the controlling thoughts away. I frowned at it, as I knew of the consequences that would continue to build if he never talked about it.

I squeezed his hand again. "You know...your casserole stands pretty close to mine," I teased to lighten up the situation.

This seemed to reflect on his attitude. His chuckle was music to my ears.

"Really now?" he responded, the amusement growing in his eyes. "I thought it was perfect."

I grabbed another chip, from the container and bit into it. "Jax's a great cooker, and even he can never cook a casserole that comes close to mine."

Kade pressed his lips together, his eyebrows raised. His gaze fell back down to his jeans.

I swept my thumb across his. "What?"

"You sure that Jax doesn't want to fuck you?" he questioned me.

Sometimes, I forgot how blunt Kade was. I don't think there was any getting used to that.

My mouth raised at that. Jax was a friend, and only a friend.

My eyes fell to the container with a chuckle. "Trust me, there's really no reason to worry," I dipped the chip in cheese. "He's just a friend, and besides...there's nothing to want."

Kade looked at me, his eyes widening as I spoke.

I shared a confused look with him. "What?"

"You serious?"

I nodded. "Mhm. Jax doesn't want to be with me. He's more into men—"

He waved my words off. "No, I mean you really think there's nothing to want?"

Oh. "Yeah, I mean I'm just me, and I don't really see anything to—"

My words were cut off as I felt the pressure against my lips. My eyes widened once I realized that Kade had kissed me.

My cheeks were as red as tomatoes at the physical touch. I didn't even have enough time to return the kiss before he was pulling back.

"Kimberly," I heard him whisper against my lips. "I never wanna hear you say that shit again, sweetheart."

My lips parted for a response, but only a lazy sigh fell out. My heart, along with my words, were cut right off of their strings.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, sweetheart," he mumbled against the corner of my lips. "You're so fucking beautiful. Inside and out."

I almost believed it for a minute, before I felt the past insults flood through the gates. It was frustrating that I couldn't even accept the compliment wholeheartedly.

It was hard to accept compliments when you'd been told the opposite so many times. I wished that I could put my brain on pause for a second, and allow my heart to make all of the decisions, but that wasn't how it worked.

Most people were only on the outside, constantly questioning why others were unable to ignore the harsh words. Why they didn't stand up for themselves, or fight back.

But, it was more than that. It was far more than that. It was much more for someone who had been silenced for so long to be asked to finally speak up, to fight against the very things that they'd been bred to believe. Most people didn't understand that others didn't have the same beginning as them, the same path, the same upbringing or confident, strengthened personality.

Every single person in this world was built off of a foundation, whether it be solid and strong, or rocky and hard. Mine was crumbled from the start.

From the very beginning, it had been. My mother, the woman who was supposed to be my firsts everything had been the first one to crumble my self-esteem before it even had a chance to flourish. My mother taught me to hate, to shield and hide everything I was supposed to love about myself, so that I would never be able to realize that they were still there, regardless. Let alone trust someone else to see it, too.

I guessed that somewhere in the midst, I'd accepted that if the woman that created me said it, and if she believed it to be true, then how was it not?

Kade caught my detached expression, his eyes locking on mine. "Look at me," he demanded, his voice loud and clear.

I did, just as I felt his hand tighten around mine. He lifted my hand to his chest. I was met with the feel of his heartbeat slamming right against my palm.

"You feel that?" he asked me, stroking his thumb over the back of my hand. "My heart is pumping so hard in my chest, all because of you."

I bit my lip as I felt the frantic beat of his heart against my hand. My own was matching it perfectly. "Kade..." I couldn't find the correct words.

His eyes softened as his fingers grazed my loose strands of hair. "I could stare at you forever, and still feel my heart beat out of my fucking chest every time I look at you," he added, only melting my heart even further. "And, those pretty, pretty eyes of yours, sweetheart. They trip me up every single time I see them. Your beautiful self, in general, just makes every other thing and every other person around you look like nothing at all to me. All I see is you, every single time."

Something blossomed inside of me at his words. They were so tender, so soft, and full of compassion.

At first, I considered that this was fake. But, there was no way that I was. When I watched his eyes slowly shift from my lips, all doubt left. His expression transitioned into something warm, and my own did the same.

Kade's smile was outlined by his pearly white teeth. "Whenever I'm with you...it feels like I'm an excited child who just got ice cream, or some shit."

I tried to keep my face neutral at his words. My heart was in my throat at this point, and I was willing to run out of oxygen in this very moment just to hear all of this again.

Kade eyes fell as he cursed under his breath. "Shit, I'm fucking this up, I'm sorry."

A strained chuckle fell from me. He was doing everything but that. "No, Kade—"

He shook his head with a sigh. "That was stupid. You don't mention ice cream, child, and shit in the same sentence."

I chuckled at him, blinking past the tears. "You're not fucking anything up, Kade," I managed to force out.

He noticed this, his look of concern touching the edges of my heart. "Did I make you cry?"

"No, no." My shoulders fell in a slump. "It's because of what you said...it was sweet. Really, really sweet." His words were still dancing around in my head, struggling but succeeding to pass the others.

My lips built into a smile for a distraction of how heavy his impact was. "Thank you for coming last night."

He waved it off. "It was nothing, sweetheart." His gaze went elsewhere, his lips pressing into a thin line. It looked as if he wanted to add something to his statement.

"What is it?" I pressed.

His attention returned to my figure. He watched over me for a second before shrugging. "Raven."

My eyebrow raised. "What about her?"

"I like her as a person, and shit like that. She's cool," he leaned back onto his palms. "But, I don't like all the pressuring, guilt-tripping shit she does to you."

I frowned, shifting closer. "She doesn't—"

"Those parties," he flicked his head at me. "You think I don't know that she probably kept on pressuring you? The drinking? Coming with her to the hotel? I know how you are when it comes to all of that, especially drinking. You shouldn't have had to do any of it just because she wanted you to."

My head shook. "I did all of that on my own."

"You did, but with her constantly chewing your ass out when you said you didn't want to," he acknowledged. "Let me tell you something, sweetheart."

He shifted forward, grasping my hands. I watched him warily, awaiting.

"I don't give two shits if it's me, Raven, Maggie, Jax, or any fucking body," he started, nodding at me. "If you're uncomfortable with something, you say that shit. If they keep persisting, you tell them to kiss your ass, and you walk off—"

"I can't just—"

"The fuck you can't," he argued, shaking his head. "You were forced to do what other people wanted for so long, that I think you've forgotten a bit that you're capable of saying no. But, you are. To anybody, and to anything. And, you don't have to feel an ounce of regret or guilt about it, okay? You do whatever the fuck you wanna do, and you say whatever the fuck you wanna say, and I'll be right behind you every single time, ready to knock a fucker out if they don't like it, you get me?"

My head fell with a small laugh as I nodded. I didn't doubt it. "I get you."

His hands squeezed at mine. "And, if you don't want to, call me. I'll tell them to fuck off my own self. Raven may not mean any harm in the shit she convinces you to do, but regardless, she could fuck you up with her shit, even if she doesn't mean to."

His hand tipped my chin. "If you don't want to do something, if you don't want to be or say something, you tell her, and anybody else that shit. If they gets mad, then that's their fault, not yours at all. Don't make yourself uncomfortable for anyone else's sake. Not for me. Not for them. Not for anyone, you hear me?"

I lowered my eyes, thinking it all over. It was true. Even though I was my own person, I was inexperienced when it came to friends, and well, people. I was far more underdeveloped in those cases, and was too afraid to confront my own wishes and comfort. It was strange to actually have the right to say no, now.

But, I could. I didn't have to give in for my friends sake, if they were really my friends. I needed to remember that.

I looked to Kade, nodding. "I hear you."

His nodded in return, lowering our hands, and meeting my eyes. "Remember, if you don't want to, you call me, and put me on speaker phone. I'll even text you an idea of what to say if you ever need it. I'll leave a funny little impression for the both of us."

I bit back a laugh. "I'm sure you would," I commented. I could imagine the amount of curses, and insults that would fly from him the moment the call connected.

I blew out a heavy breath I never even realized was being held. Even though his words were usually crude, he was just as honest as I needed.

I kept the advice in the back of my head. It was okay to reject an offer or plans, even if it was from a friend. To say no.

Kade watched me, a small smile lighting up up his face. "Let's get going." He stood on his feet, offering a hand.

I took it, and lifted myself up. "Where are we headed?"

He began to wrap what little leftovers we had left. "The fair," he responded. "This is the last day it's in town, I wanted to take you."

I tried to hide the fall of my stomach, though I was sure I didn't succeed.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be seen with him in public. Not at all. It was more-so that I was afraid of him being seen with me. I didn't know if we were together, and going to the fair with one another would make it look like it. I was slightly worried that Kade would be embarrassed of me if we were to be seen by one of our classmates, or his friends. Everyone knew him, and his friends in this town.

Communication, Kimberly.

I breathed out a sigh as we walked back to his car. "Kade," I called out.

His brown eyes fell down to me, and I had to tell myself that things would be alright. We had promised communication, and that was what I was going to use.

I cleared my throat. "Are you sure that you want to be seen...you know, with me?" I questioned, my eyes stuck on the green grass underneath us.

I cursed in my mind as I realized that I no longer had pockets to place my hands in. Another reason why I barely escaped from my regular fit.

I jumped as Kade's laughter boomed over the quiet park. I looked to him, to see him already staring at me.

"You shitting me?" he said, as if it were the simplest answer in the world. His laughter died down once he saw my expression. "Why wouldn't I want to be seen with you, sweetheart?"

I sucked in a tight breath. "Well...your friends hate me and so do half of the people at school. It wouldn't exactly be a good luck for you to be seen in public with me."

I looked up to see him pressing his lips together, his eyes roaring with something undetectable. I watched him closely for a reaction.

Finally, his head tilted at me. "You really think I care about what those fuckers think?" he asked me, his expression serious.

I shook my head no. From what I'd figured out, he didn't care what others thought unless it was me.

His smirk grew into a smile. "Then, there you go, sweetheart. I don't give two fucks about them, and I sure as hell don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about me unless it's you," he said to me, his smile contagious. "If they have the balls to say something though, I'd love to hear it. A couple broken noses would definitely get the word around quickly to stay away from you."

I chuckled, the relief lifting off my chest. I believed him.

"And, you," he turned his head at me. "I don't want to see you questioning yourself for them, or anyone else, sweetheart. We know what we are, and if anyone wants to comment on it, then they can see me about it, okay?"

I nodded my head, before we kept walking. The car was only a few paces away, and with each step, came the pounding question of: what are we?

***

"No," I shook my head at Kade. "No way."

Kade grinned at this. "I'll be right beside you."

My eyes widened. "Do you know how many accidents are caused on that thing?" I flicked my head at it.

He looked at the Ferris wheel once more, his jaw ticking as he attempted to hide his grin. "Who in the hell willingly knows that?"

I didn't know it, either. But, perhaps, it would cause him to understand my reasoning. I'd never even been to a fair before, nor had I rode, or even seen up close a Ferris wheel before. And I was intending on keeping it that way.

"Not that I have the number at the top of my head," I emphasized on my statement. "But, it was a lot of accidents."

Kade tilted his head, his arms crossed over his chest. "So, you're telling me, you won't get on a Ferris wheel, not even if you're with me?"

I swept a glare over him. "Excuse me if I don't think that even you could prevent me from cracking my skull open on that death ride," I hissed, glaring at the Ferris wheel as if it were the devil.

It did look fun, though. It looked really fun, but I couldn't muster enough of my desire past my nerves long enough to actually go through with the ride. If I did, I would hurriedly jump at the chance to get on.

Kade sighed, shaking his head with an amused smile on his lips. "Fine, I won't push you. Lets go find another ride."

I watched as he walked ahead of me, his smile never dying. I frowned, my agitation as I saw the smile shift into a smirk.

"So, you're done?" I questioned, my arms crossed over my chest. "Just like that?"

He waved me off. "Yeah, I can't help that you don't want to get on the ride, sweetheart." I knew that he was just trying to frustrate me, but it wouldn't work.

I glared at him. "I'm not afraid."

He ran a hand down his jaw. "I never said you were, tough girl," he teased, his chuckle clear.

I thought over something as I realized his intentions. Just as the temptation of finding another ride passed by, my mind replaced it with a fresh thought.

"Let's make a deal," I offered.

Kade turned around, raising his brow at me. "You serious?"

My smirk confirmed how serious I truly was.

"What were you thinking?" he questioned me, his arms falling from his chest.

My smile grew into a grin. "If I do this, you have to do something that you're scared of, too."

Kade considered it for a moment, his bottom lip trapped in between his teeth. Once his eyes fell to my face, I was unsure of his answer.

He clasped his hands together. "Deal," he agreed.

I grinned at him. "Okay, then let's—"

"If," he continued.

I frowned, my walls raising at the mischief in his voice. "If?"

"If, you do something else that you're afraid of," he added.

I paused, thinking over his words as he did mine. I had planned to use this to find out more about him, but instead, he had ran over my plan, and somehow used it to his liking.

Finally, I decided. "Only if you do the same thing," I negotiated. "And, no chickening out. No matter what." I knew I'd come to regret that, but oh well.

His tongue swept across his bottom lip as he chuckled at me. "Really now?"

I nodded, keeping my gaze steady.

His grin confirmed the deal. There was something hidden behind that grin, and I was sure that I would soon regret this entire deal.

Finally, we broke eye contact. "Let's go before the line gets any longer," he told me, entrapping our arms.

I cursed under my breath as he drug me along. "I'm already regretting this." Despite my nerves though, I couldn't deny the rush of excitement that was beginning to buzz in my blood the longer I thought on it: this would my first time on a Ferris wheel.

Kade swept his arm around my shoulders to stop me from running away as we waited. We were behind five people, and each time one was let in, I felt my heart drop.

"You're shaking, sweetheart," Kade mentioned, his chuckle causing me to scowl at him.

"I'm going to die," I mumbled into the atmosphere. "I'm going to die, and I know it."

"Probably."

I glared at him. "Thanks, Kade. Seriously, A for effort."

His laugh was worth the trouble. I bit down on my nails as I realized that we were up.

"Hi," the woman who allowed entrance said to us. "I hope you two enjoy the ride!"

I offered an uneasy smile. "Thanks." I felt Kade squeeze down on my shoulder for comfort as we climbed the stairs.

As soon as I was in the seat, I gulped down the bile in my throat once the chair rocked underneath us. "If I die..."

"You will die if you forget to put the lap bar down," Kade chuckled at me, reaching over to make sure that I was in.

I grumbled a thanks. The nervous butterflies were switched with the originals as his arm went over my stomach in order to ensure my safety. "There you go, sweetheart." He threw a sly wink my way, then leaned back into his own seat.

He definitely knew of the effect he had caused. As his smirk found its way back to his lips, I wished to disguise my obvious fear towards the entire situation.

I gripped onto anything and everything for dear life as the ride began. Kade was completely fine, though every time he glanced over at me, I could see the concern clouding his eyes.

I shut my eyes as we continued to go higher and higher. The temptation of wanting to open my eyes to see how far we had gotten was strong, though I knew it would only be worse for me.

I felt Kade sick his hand in between the small crack of space between our thighs, and grab my hand in his. I opened my eyes to look at him, but they fell before I could.

"Shit," I cursed as I realized that we were close to the peak of the ride. "Shitshitshit—"

It happened so quick, I barely caught it. I felt the tips of his fingers against my cheeks, then on my chin as he tipped my head to his. I raised my eyes to him, but just as I did, his lips fell on top of mine. I knew we'd reached the very peak of the ride, but that wasn't what aided in my cloud nine feeling.

It didn't take long for me to react as I felt the ride dip. I shut my eyes, leaning in closer to him. Our lips were in sync, without any map, or planned idea of what was going to happen next. Just like us.

He pulled away just as the ring of energy became too unbearable around us. A high strung emotion caused his eyes to glint, and I was sure my own matched.

His lips tipped into a shit-eating grin before his thumb swept across my bottom lip. "You rode the ferris wheel, tough girl."

***

"What are we doing here?" I questioned him, my eyes widening the longer I stood here.

I followed Kade through the same area he had brought me to on the night of his fight, the one he called the cages. It was quiet, eerie quiet. Our steps nearly made me jump out of my own skin.

We stopped at his locker. He opened it, and pulled out a hoodie, along with sweatpants.

He turned to face me. "Here," he offered, placing the clothes in my hands.

My head titled with confusion as I gazed down at the clothes. "What are we doing?"

"What do you think, sweetheart?" he teased, grinning at me. "We're gonna race."

My jaw fell with shock. "What? I can't race."

He shrugged his big shoulders. "You can drive, can't you?"

I nodded before stopping. "Yes, but that's different."

He chuckled at me. "If you can drive, then you can race," he decided. "You're smart as shit, sweetheart, everyone knows it. You can figure it out. I'm gonna take the first couple of rounds to show you, though."

Just as I began to retort his statement, he turned around, and began to walk away.

I stared at his back before calling out,. "Where are you going?"

"Well, you don't want me to watch you change, do you?" he responded, a chuckle following.

I blushed at his answer, and shook my head at it. I didn't know how he managed to play this out, but damn it if I didn't fall for it.

As the door shut behind him, I peeled off my jeans, but kept the blouse on. I put on his clothes, and smiled at the mesmerizing scent. I'd never felt as comfy as I did now.

My legs led me to the office to see Kade fiddling with his keys. At my presence, he grinned, tossing the keys up in his hand, before catching them again.

"Fuck me, sweetheart," he said, without any shame. His eyes ran over my entire figure, his expression growing more strained by the minute. "You look so hot in my clothes."

I fought back the blush, instead chuckling at him. "They're comfortable."

"They're yours, now," he added, a smile growing.

My own matched it. "Really?"

"Oh, fuck yeah," he confirmed, stepping closer. "If I get to see your pretty ass like this more, take anything of mine you want, sweetheart."

My cheeks pinched as I smiled at his words. I tried to not think too much into it, but I knew that wasn't possible anymore. I'd definitely take him up on the offer, though.

His pinky grazed mine as he passed me. "Let's go."

By the time we made it outside, a new car was already on the track. It looked untouched, though I wasn't too sure.

Kade got into the car, his brown eyes weighing me down. With one leg hanging out, he flicked his head at me. "What are you waiting for?"

I hadn't even realized that I'd still been staring at the design of the car until now. Instead of responding, I pushed myself forward.

I got into the car, a grim expression on my face. I hadn't been on the track in weeks, and even then, it wasn't enjoyable until I created a scenario in my head to reflect on. I'd never even thought I'd be back here.

The car rumbled from underneath us as he started it up.

I gazed around the secluded spot. "Where is everyone?"

Kade shrugged. "I told them it was booked for the night." His head turned to me, his brown eyes running me over once. "I wanted to have you to myself, and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with everyone else here."

I smiled as I realized that this was the surprise he had set up for me. I was grateful, and terrified at the same time that he thought me worthy. Maybe it was because I was.

"Ready?" he questioned, leaning up in his seat.

No. "Yes," I breathed out my response.

Just as the answer left my lips, Kade took this as his cue to go. I felt my back mold right into the seat as I pressed myself into it for dear life.

I looked to him, and I could see that he was enjoying this. I told myself to copy it, but I couldn't find any resemblance.

At my uneasy expression, Kade's hand fell to mine. "Just let go, sweetheart."

I shut my eyes as I attempted to do so, but it didn't work. I didn't think anything would work to get me into this again. My anxiety was cursing me in this very moment, willing all of the possibilities and consequences to control me.

Kade swept his thumb over mine, and at the same time, his foot laid off the gas for my sake. "Imagine yourself letting go of all of your responsibilities, and all of the bullshit. You're free as shit. Just...say fuck it," he shouted over the engine.

I did as he said, my mind heading elsewhere. I told myself to let go, to let go of my father and Ryland. To let go of Amber, and all of the bullies to my life. To let go of my mother, and my brothers.

I breathed in through my nose, and released the pent up air through my mouth. I didn't even realize that it was working until I felt the rush of cool air push through my hair.

Slowly, I allowed my eyes to open. I pushed through one last puff of tightened oxygen once more, before I let it go.

I said fuck it.

"You can go faster," I breathed out, my chest heaving as if I had ran a marathon. "Right now. Go faster."

The grin on his face matched his adrenaline levels as he slammed his foot down on the gas. Slowly, I released the edges of my seat.

The cool air continued to fight at my ponytail. The strands of loose hair slapped me in the face, but I didn't bother putting them back up.

I smiled as I allowed the free feeling to detach me of all of my problems, even if it were just for a moment. It was like magic, and for once, I felt my shoulders become less heavy. That regular pressure on my chest lifted. I felt relentless, like I could do anything.

I felt infinite with Kade. I felt free.

I laughed aloud as more strands hit my eyes, some even going in my mouth. I didn't care, anymore, though. It was incredible, the sound of the car's engine roaring against the wind, the mix of my laugh, the cool air stroking every inch of bare skin it could. In this moment, I never realized how I'd ever went without this.

Kade continued to steal peaks from me, his smile visible. It was beautiful, he was beautiful.

We were beautiful.

"This is incredible!" I shouted aloud as the car made a turn, the wind biting back at it.

It didn't take long for Kade to reach the end of the track, though I didn't feel the adrenaline cease. It was buzzing inside of me, the feeling of it all unreal.

I was practically bouncing in my seat as I looked to Kade, a large grin stretching my lips. "Can I do it?"

His head tilted at me. "What? Race?" he questioned, just as surprised as I expected him to be. "I was just kidding earlier, but you really want to?"

I nodded eagerly, like a child. I was honest when I said I wasn't quite sure of my actions, but that no longer mattered in my book.

He tossed the keys to me, his smirk visible. "Maybe we can race, soon."

"Don't do that to yourself," I teased with a scoff. "I'd leave you in the dust, Ryder."

He snorted, a grin building. "You think so?"

I nodded with a smile. "I know so." We both knew how false that was, but it was fun to think of it. If he taught me what he knew though, I believed I'd get close.

He raised his hand in surrender, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Whatever you say, sweetheart. I don't underestimate shit when it comes to you."

We swapped sides quickly. My smile never fell. It felt like my feet had never touched the ground, and never would, again. I didn't know if it were because of the adrenaline, or Kade.

My bets were on him.

He directed me on how to treat the car during racing, and I felt my energy die down a bit as I realized that the brake was to never be used unless close to an accident, or near the end.

Kade caught hold of it, his fingers grazing the skin along my wrists. "Hey," he started. "Don't worry, just don't crash, and you'll be fine." His smirk was loud, and despite my glare, I found my own smile building at it.

I rolled my eyes, before I readied myself, my foot hovering over the pedal. I gripped the wheel in my hands, the rubber unfamiliar. I shut my eyes for a second just in time to recover Kade's advice.

I said fuck it.