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"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it." – Rafiki, from The Lion King
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Chapter 3
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Nearly a week had passed since I'd been here. It hadn't gotten any easier, but the closer I was to graduation the better.

I glanced around the quiet highway. I wracked my quiet brain for any type of memory for directions in the school. Even though I'd been here a while, directions weren't at all my strong suit. The school was so large, it was much easier to get lost than anticipated.

"Take a left, and then what?" I mumbled to no one in particular.

"Need some help?"

I spun around in shock, mainly because I'd been caught talking to myself. And, a cute man had caught me. By his appearance, I predicted that he was a senior, as well.

Say something, Kimberly.

My mind and mouth decided to cause a dispute toward one another. "Yes," I attempted a small smile. "Please."

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes scanning my stiff figure in curiosity. "You're new?" he guessed.

I mustered a quick nod of the head. His full lips pressed into a fine line as he nodded in return.

"Makes sense," he motioned toward my schedule. "Here, let me check it out." My skepticism grew at his sudden act of kindness, but I moved closer, nonetheless.

I handed him my crumbled schedule, in which he examined carefully. I took this time to get a better look at him.

I think it was his wolffish grey eyes that captured me the most. His height had to be at around 6'1" by the way he towered over me. With clean-cut eyebrows closing in, his large hand meddled through his wave of brown curls. His boyish charm wrapped the package up nicely, as well.

My 5'5" ass had nothing on him.

His eyes raised to mine in a quick beat, a cute smile being thrown my way. Crimson shade invaded my cheeks immediately before I let my gaze fall.

After a couple of stretched seconds, he finally looked up from the paper. "So, your name is Kimberly, huh?"

"How did you know that?" I blurted out without running it over twice.

His orotund laugh was followed by, "It's right here." His index finger pointed toward my name at the top of the paper.

I nearly walked off to save myself a fraction of embarrassment. "Right," I answered back in a small voice.

"Hey, we have first period together," he pointed out.

I nodded my head as a response. He'd soon figure out that I was not much of a talker, especially to strangers.

I gathered the little courage I had to sneak another glance at him. Once I set my eyes on his face, I noticed the way his pink lips were turned down in a frown.

Only three words.

"What's your name?" Jesus. I sounded as if I were at gunpoint.

His downturned lips perked up once he heard my voice. "Carter. Carter Walson." I'd heard that name a number of times in my periods. Just never matched it with a face.

The silence didn't diminish anytime soon as he walked me to my first class of the day. Though, we were the only people in the deserted hallway, I still felt as if there were a thousand pair of eyes watching us. 

I continued to dig at myself as we walked. My feet drug across the tiles as I thought of conversation starters. Those icebreakers didn't look so bad right about now.

Sucking up a good amount of air, I put my all into my next words. "I think I heard one of my teachers say your name while calling out role."

Before he had time to respond to it, we were both at our first period. We both exchanged a look.

His dark brow rose with humor. "Be careful in this class. Our teacher, also known as the devil, is at her most evil in her natural habitat."

A small, barely audible laugh left my lips at that. My smile lingered, but it didn't stay for long.

Everyones' eyes were either on their phones or on each other. The teacher herself had an IPad in her hands.

No one is looking at me, no one is looking at me.

I hurriedly shuffled to my seat. By the time I made it to my seat, I jumped at the chance to look up. I froze own shock as I realized that everyone, except the teachers' eyes were on me.

Fuck.

My mouth fell once I noticed that Carter had trailed behind me. What was he doing?

He smiled as he grew closer. "Scoot over a bit."

Too hung on the situation, I sat still in my spot. Why was he doing this? Why was he being so nice?

"Are you sure?" I asked, attempting to shield my disbelief.

Carter shot me a silly look. "Of course I'm sure, why wouldn't I be?" He tilted his head in a slight manner before I scooted over.

It was my turn to laugh. My own lacked humor, and reeked of distrust.

I pinched at my fingers, shrugging. "I'm not sure if you can tell, but I'm not exactly the in type."

His smile shrunk with confusion. "So?"

Well, then. "Oh," was the only word I could manage.

In a confused, but accepting trance, he took the seat beside me. I watched as he pulled out his phone.

A quiet awkwardness hung between us as I continued to stare at the graffitied desk in front of me. My fingers traced the imprinted artwork in boredom. I was seconds away from pulling out my book before I heard my visitor speak.

"Wanna play?" Carter asked, tilting his phone at me.

I assumed he picked up on my boredom. My heartbeat thumped with lingering effects once he motioned for me to take his phone.

'Calm down,' I warned myself. 'It's a phone.'

The word worked itself past the lumps in my throat before I knew it. "Seriously?"

I held no reaction when I felt Carter take my hand in his while the other was placed on his phone.

At the small touch, my cheeks were smothered by a reddish hue, as if I'd been underneath the hot son for hours.

Only, I hadn't been. I was blushing, and a guy was holding my hand.

I snatched my hand away like I'd been burnt by the contact. Being touched had always made me uncomfortable, and that wasn't going to stop for a cute boy, and an even cuter face.

I decided to shift the uncomfortable situation by focusing on his phone. I stared at the different graphics across the screen. "How do you play this?"

Now, it was his turn to be confused. "What do you mean?"

"The game, how do you play it?"

His wolf-grey eyes widened immediately. "You've never played this?"

I shrugged. "No." Truth be told, I had no intention of telling him I'd never even had a phone until a year ago. Even then, it was barely used.

His shock fell at my expression, instead softening. Another smile rose.

"Come closer," he insisted. "I'll show you how to play."

I didn't move from my spot. Noting my hesitation, he scooted closer to my seat. His hands blanketed mine as he instructed me on how to play the game.

After ten minutes of teaching and directing, Carter still didn't manage to completely get me hooked onto the game.

I offered the phone back. "I'm not really good at video games," I apologized with a chuckle.

Carter waved it off as nothing. "No worries, no one really gets the hook of the game so quick, anyway."

With a nod of my head, my cheeks still remained flustered. It was embarrassing enough that my clothes probably had stains on them, let alone the fact that I barely knew how to work his phone.

"You know...you're really pretty when you blush, Kimberly," Carter complemented.

If I were honest, I'd never been complemented by a guy before. Even when I had a boyfriend back in Illinois—who only lasted for a week—I had never heard one compliment from him. We were only in middle school though, so too much couldn't be expected. So, to be around someone of his looks and words, it was very difficult to shield my clouded shock.

A stranger's voice wrung me from my thoughts. "Carter?"

Carter held contact for an extra beat until finally looking up at our unexpected visitor. "What?"

My gaze fixated on a pair of forest-green eyes. Examining her, I caught hold of all of her curvy features, along with the blonde waves of hair that cascaded across her shoulders. She was familiar.

"Why aren't you sitting with us?" her tone was more of an accusation than question. The longer I heard her voice though, the more I recognized it. She was the one involved with the incident this morning.

Carter crossed his arms, stating with a blank stare, "Because I'm sitting with Kimberly."

Her arms crossed over her mid-sized chest. Her dislike toward his response was quite obvious. Meanwhile, Carter leaned back into his chair with raised eyebrows, and a cool expression.

"You should know already that we don't like," she paused to scan me over with disgustingly judgmental eyes before continuing, "Other people."

She shook her head, moving back to Carter. "I really do need your help with something, though," her whining undertone made me want to chunk a desk at her pretty little face. "Let me show you. It'll be real quick."

Carter ran it all over in his head. I could see the wheels getting caught and raveled with her manipulation.

Finally, he looked back to me with guilty eyes. "Do you mind, Kimberly? I'm sorry, Amber needs my help with something."

"Yeah, it's fine. They're your friends," I reassured with a smile.

Nodding, he gave my hand a final squeeze. After he released it, I watched as he trailed behind Amber to the front of the classroom. I stared at his back until he was crowded by his group of friends.

Although I'd enjoyed having company, all good things did come to an end. Sadly, but not unexpectedly, this ended quicker than most things.

***

I wore a grateful smile as the bell rang. Slinging my bag across my shoulder, I rushed to my next class.

Once I stepped into my fourth period class, only two people sat in their desks, talking. I released a sigh of gratitude, thank god.

Without a great number of students watching over every move I was taking, I hurried to one of the abandoned desks in the back.

The majority of the chairs began to fill as time went on. I kept my eyes on my book instead of delivering attention to the other people in the room.

Once the tardy bell rang, I finally closed my book. Mr. Crawfield lifted himself from his creaky chair.

His brown hair sat atop his round-shaped head, styled in a fancy manner. He revealed his fabric-covered potbelly to the loud class. His thin lips parted, but once the door opened, I saw the annoyance bloom in his dark eyes.

"Mr. Ryder, you are late," his scolding voice caused the class to raise their heads in interest. At least I thought.

My eyes widened in a brief motion. It took a moment of reciting my reality before I realized that this wasn't a dream. Kade was here. In this classroom.

I was confused. Beyond that, actually. Last week, I hadn't seen him in this class, at least I didn't think so.

Our teacher continued to speak with a tired drag. "Care to announce what made you so anxious to return, Mr. Ryder? After your absence for the week, I thought you finally withdrew," Mr Crawfield placed his hands on his strut hips.

Oh.

But, that didn't matter. It only mattered that I had to be around him, now.

Kade rolled his eyes, ignoring the teachers scolding. He pushed past Mr. Crawfield, strands of dark hair swinging over his eyes as he walked. His attention was too concentrated on his phone, even as he found his way toward a seat. I could hear the rushed whispers around me, and some of them even went as far as calling Kade's name to sit by them.

Sinking down into my chair, I tried to make myself as unnoticeable as possible. That was what I did best. Hide, and hide even more if anyone realized I was hiding. My eyes studied Kade over without even considering his senses.

"Mr. Ryder, I was speaking to you," the teacher continued to chastise.

My eyes burned into the back of Kade's head, silently begging him not to turn around.

Oh, how wrong I was for that.

In a swift act, he turned toward me. My breath caught in my throat as our eyes formed a tangled string to one anothers.

"Kade, do not make me—"

A switch was flipped in Kade's entire being. He turned back around too quickly for the human eye to catch.

"If I didn't answer the first time, then what in the hell makes you think I'd answer the next couple of times?" Kade snapped. "We all know you're not even going to teach, so save yourself the sweat, get me and my business out of your head, and sit the fuck down before you give yourself a heart attack."

I was sure everyone's shocked expression matched the teachers'. Mr. Crawfield's mouth fell in shock, and his finger pointed toward Kade. "Now, I don't know what makes you think that you have the slightest right to speak to me like that, Mr. Ryder—"

Kades' lips curled into a grin. "Do you really want to lose your job at our pretty little school? Mhm?" his venom drenched words only threw hits at the red-faced man. "You know all it takes is one phone call." He shook the cell in the same way that he'd done my diary.

"I—" the teacher tripped himself over his own words before Kade interjected.

"I suggest lowering your finger," Kade warned him, his smile remaining.

Mr. Crawfield huffed, his skin surely hot to the touch by its red tint. "Let's just...continue with class." His attempt at gathering his composure failed.

I couldn't blame him. I didn't quite know what Kade's status was when it came to his job, but it must have been something to do with his mom. He had said that she ran the town.

Before I had time to stop staring, he turned back around to face me, again. A smirk sat perfectly glued to his beautiful face at my fear-stricken expression. He sent a quick-witted wink my way, then turned in his chair.

My body trembled with rage the longer I glared at his back. I blinked away the burning avalanche of frustration at the realization. It hurt like a wrecking ball.

There was no way to get my diary back. It was too late.

Less than ten days ago, I didn't even know him, so why would he hold such a tormented anger toward me? He shouldn't.

My hands were began to turn under the table as the thought bit at my agitation. The bastard was just a maniac who was just trying to get attention.

A brunette girl sat, and spoke to Kade throughout the entire class, and he returned the favor. During breaks of talking to one another, either one would turn back to look at me every once in a while. I continued to catch eyes with them, though they did nothing to stop looking, and laughing under their breaths. Children, is what they were.

For the remainder of the class period, a feeling was held in the lining of my throat. It felt as if a rock had been lodged down it, clogging my airway.

I tried to focus on the lesson, but I just couldn't. Even when the teacher grew louder as the lesson grew longer, I still couldn't help, but stare at the back of Kade's head.

What if he told everyone my secrets?

What was he planning to do with it?

Why did he choose me, and what in the hell could he possibly want, that I could give him?

I was a senior. Thank God. I'd never have to see any of these people again in a few months. I wasn't even sure if I would attend community college here, or if I wanted to attend university elsewhere.

But, now that I'd experienced this cruel school, I was leaning toward moving to a different state for college. Either way, I still had over two hundred data left, and each one was only a bigger opportunity for Kade to expose me.

I shuddered at the thought. That only meant even more embarrassment and humiliation if these people were to find out of my past.

I left Illinois, and came to Washington to finally get away from my past, not to run into it all over again.

It was like my past and I were on a spinning wheel, constantly and terribly colliding with one another. I wished the wheel would just stop, so that I had a minute to escape the bloody, traumatized platform laid out for me. But, it's grasp was holding me, so tight, that maybe, one day, it could kill me.

The bell intruded my ongoing thoughts. I stood, and packed my things with a plausible speed. The other students must have already had their bags ready, because I was the last to leave the room.

I pulled open the door of the classroom with a hard tug. I jumped back in surprise at Carter, who stood in front of me with a smile.

"You scared me," I breathed out, my hand against my chest.

Carters' lips perked in laughter at me. "Shit, my bad, I didn't mean to. Your face was a funny sight, though."

I rolled my eyes then asked, "What are you doing here?"

His expression went sour. "Oh, I just thought it'd be nice to walk you to class, you know since I was kind of rude before," he placated with a hand to the back of his neck. "I'm sorry about ditching you like that."

"It was fine, though," I reassured him as we began to walk. "I swear."

His expression fell with relief. "Oh, well...take this as a show of gratitude, then."

I raised a brow at him. "For what?"

"I don't know," he shrugged with a small smile. "I'll come up with something, soon. For right now, though, your company's real nice."

I chuckled at him, his smile growing contagious. "Yeah, sure."

His head bobbed in a nod. "Mhm," he paused. "You know, I wouldn't want you getting lost, again. This school is huge."

My shoulders slowly fell. "I'll know who to look for if I do."

I saw him in the corner of my eye as he shifted on his two feet. "Yeah, well." He cleared his throat, pausing in his step, before speaking again, "Not to be weird or anything, but we can get each others numbers...if you want?"

I double backtracked at his words. We'd only known one another since this morning. I tried to depict his reasoning for my number, but I couldn't find any. Compared to the girls he was around, I was barely even visible.

He was cute, and a nice guy, but I was skeptical to no fault of his own. I had no real experience with boys unless you count fictional boys.

It was a sad fact, but my lack of the outside world taught me very few things. From what Ryland told me though, men were dangerous and trouble, especially in high school. And, it didn't seem like his friends were very fond of me. Only more of the reason to say no.

I didn't want to accept his offer, but at the same time, I didn't want to reject it, either. I knew that in order to get friends, you had to go through the uncomfortable. I couldn't get past that nagging feeling, just begging me to say yes.

I patted my pockets for my phone. My hands felt nothing, and the expression of fear soon replaced the shocked one on my face. Not again.

Carter noticed my shift, stepping closer. His eyes shadowed his concern. "Hey, you good?"

I gave a tight-lipped smile, although my heartbeat was definitely not good right now. "Yeah, I just can't find my phone."

"Do you think it's still in the classroom? I can go get it if you want," he offered to me.

I smiled to show my gratitude. "I can go get it, but you can head to your class. Thank you for today."

He nodded, but I saw the uncertainty building past it. Instead of pressing it, I turned them sped-walked past the leftover students, enduring so many profanities that I couldn't keep up with them.

I walked back into the classroom, leaving a crack in the door for me. My phone was on the ground with another crack to add to its collection, but I was more relieved than anything.

I placed it inside of my pocket, then turned to leave the quiet classroom.

As soon as I reopened the door, I nearly fell out. I was held captive by familiar eyes, which were glaring right back into mine. I backed up without conscious thought, which allowed him to shut the door behind him.

I moved until my back hit a hard surface. Even though we were on different sides of the room, it still felt like he was too close. I needed to escape.

Kade glared at my trembling figure, rubbing his eyes up and down the length of my body. "You know, I am so fucking sick of you." His strides were slow.

"What are you talking about?" I struggled to find my voice. "Why are you in here?"

His hands landed on either side of me, caging my body to his. His chest was slow in its uprising, and it was so quiet, I wondered if he could hear the sound of my heartbeat.

I felt the roar of blood in my ears. My heart thudded in my chest so hard, that it hurt. My vision became disfigured, as if I were looking through a pair of unprescribed glasses.

I could feel the stirring of a attack. I continued to shove it back down, though it raised right back up like helium.

His gaze landed over me with nothing but hatred. "I think you know what I'm talking about," his voice was strong, confident. "Walking around this town like you've done nothing. Like you're so fucking clueless—"

My eyes ran over him shakily. "I'll scream if you don't get away from me in two seconds," I tried to scare him, but his composure never fell.

His head tilted. "Then, why haven't you done it already, sweetheart?" his arrogance grew in each and every one of his words.

My heart dropped once my mind registered what he was saying. Absolutely not.

"I think I know why you haven't tried to get away yet."

I couldn't react as he leaned in to get a closer look at me. His head tilted as he glared me down, the anger in his pupils rising by the second, though I had no reaction beyond disgust.

I'd read this so many times in romance books, that I knew the pattern of how this moment would go. He would seduce me, supposedly.

But, that wasn't how shit would go today. I didn't fall for spoiled, rude, assholes.

Just as I contemplated my doings, Kade paused. And once he moved right where I wanted him, I struck my knee into his groin.

He cursed, so many times, he might've invented a new term. I yelled at myself to run, but as always, my best friend came at the right fucking time. I felt my anxiety slowly, yet urgently creep along either side of me.

I stumbled back, but luckily, I made it to the door before it grasped me too tight. I hadn't had an attack in weeks, and I refused to have one now.

The door slammed behind me as I raced through it. I attempted to gather my bearings once I noticed Carter down the hall. His eyes caught mine, and he came to me, immediately.

His expression turned serious as he examined me. "You okay?"

It was hard to pretend everything was okay, but after years of practice I had it down pact. "I'm perfectly fine...just hit my leg."

His expression relaxed with relief. "Clumsy Kimberly, huh?" he teased me.

All I could think about was how I'd let Kade get way too close, way too easily. How he thought it was okay to get that close to me. I couldn't let him do that, not again. I couldn't let myself believe it, or him, either.

I pulled a small smile to Carter, nodding once. "Yeah...clumsy Kimberly."