10 • confrontation
"y/n, do you like eren?"
armin's words repeated themselves in your mind over and over again. it's been hours since he had asked you and hours since he didn't receive an answer. instead, you bid him goodbye and headed to your uber, who was probably annoyed with having to wait for you. because in all honesty, you didn't even know how to answer that.
you've known eren for all of three weeks, was that even long enough to develop any sort of feelings towards him? not to mention the fact that you were still fresh out of break up. and even then, you thought about the question that eren brought up. did you ever truly love kris?
kris was your first and only boyfriend. he asked you out in the middle of your freshman year and when he did so, you were taken aback. sure you knew each other, thanks to your hometown being a place where everyone knew everyone, but it never even crossed your mind that he liked you, let alone enough to ask you to be his girlfriend. emi encouraged you to say yes to him seeing as this was the first time either of you would have a boyfriend. blinded by the excitement, you agreed. and he treated you well for most of the relationship but it wasn't until reflecting on it the last week that you realized it was lacking something. that something being love.
you dedicated four years of your life to a relationship with someone without love. yet, you never left because it was something you had grown comfortable with. you didn't want to break something that you were so familiar with. being with kris and being best friends with emi was something that was always constant in your life.
but did you like eren? sure, he was attractive. highly attractive at that. but even you knew there was more to him than just his good looks. despite the short amount of time you knew him, you knew eren was a very caring guy. especially with his friends. the way he spoke about his friendship with armin and mikasa was something that reminded you of your friendship with emi. you could really tell he cherished each and every one of his friends and that in itself was admirable.
you liked how hardworking he was with his studies, even though he slept through a lot of his classes. you remember the time he told you he stays up studying most nights. one thing that you really liked about eren was the way he just instantly understood you. you knew from the start that eren could read you like an open and for a while, it did kind of annoy you. but then you recalled the time in the diner when you confronted him about it and he said he saw himself within you. so it wasn't that he could read you, it was just that he could understand you.
you spent so much of your life feeling misunderstood and outcasted due to your insomnia. in fact, emi and kris knew nothing about you suffering from insomnia yet all your roommates and eren knew. of course it was because you told them, but what was it about these people that you have known for only a handful of weeks that you so openly told them about it when you couldn't tell the people you have known for years?
you didn't know. you also weren't sure if you truly liked eren or not. but you did know that there was a chance that you could possibly come to like eren. there was something about being in his presence that made you feel safe, secure and another feeling you couldn't quite put your finger on. one thing you did know for sure was that you needed to talk and come clean with your roommates.
after last night's talk with armin and levi, you realized that maybe you may have overreacted to the whole thing. eren and mikasa were in the past. and that was when another realization hit you. you wouldn't have felt guilty about leaving the party with eren, who just so happened to be mikasa's ex, if you didn't harbor any feelings towards him. right?
the sound of the front door of your dorm tore you from your thoughts. seconds later, you hear annie scolding sasha for thrashing the living room to which sasha whines and states that she thought she would've had more time to clean up. you let out a small chuckle before sitting up from your bed. now was a better time than ever to talk to the girls about everything. you let out a deep breath you didn't realize you were holding before twisting the brass knob and stepping out.
three pairs of eyes all turned to look at you as you cleared your throat. "can we talk?"
mikasa gave a small smile and nodded. "let me put my stuff in my room and we can chat in the living room."
"as long as this bozo cleans up a bit so we can all sit." annie scoffs, giving a pointed look to sasha.
sasha rolls her eyes. "fine, fine."
"i'll grab some snacks." you offer. everyone dispersed to do their respective activities. you gathered some chips and cookies as well as some bottles of water and set them down on the small coffee table in the living room. sasha was folding up blankets she kept in their when the other two returned, changed into more comfortable clothing.
mikasa and annie sat together on the small love seat sofa while you and sasha plopped down on the other. there was a moment of awkward silence, no one really knowing who was gonna start the conversation first. what was the first thing to say?
annie let out a sigh, running her hands through her short hair. "i just wanna say that i'm sorry. it was my idea to head outside after you went off to get water at the party. we were all sweaty and needed a breather. i didn't realize you didn't join us until later on."
"we went to look for you but when lucy approached us and told us that you had left, teary eyed, with eren, we knew you were in good hands." mikasa added.
"so i guess that means i should explain what happened before leaving." you gave a dry chuckle.
"you don't have to, if you don't want to. we just to wanted to know if you were okay." sasha placed a reassuring hand upon yours and gave you a smile.
"after we got separated, i panicked. i'm not good with crowds and every familiar face i knew was gone. so instead of panicking in the middle of the dance floor, i headed to the restroom upstairs. upon stumbling in, mid panic attack, i found eren sleeping in the bathrub." you began to explain.
"why was he sleeping in the bathtub?" annie murmured with furrowed brows. mikasa nudged her, giving her a look for interrupting.
"so as i was calming myself down, my boyfriend called me after ignoring me for a week. i know i never said anything about him to you guys, but yes i was dating a guy name kris. we were together for four years."
"were?" mikasa asked.
you gave a stiff nod. "he factimed me to break up with me. his reason? i didn't put out and apparently i was just a placeholder until he got the person he really wanted."
"what a dick!" sasha scoffed in anger. "if i ever see him, it's on site!"
you gave a small laugh before continuing. "eren witnessed it all. the phone call, my breakdown, my panic attack. he took me out after to a diner and we just talked. it was something i needed. i didn't say anything because i knew he was your ex and i didn't want you to think i was trying anything with him. we're all still building a friendship and i really like you guys and i don't want to ruin anything."
mikasa stands from her seat and walks over to you, sitting in between you and sasha before pulling you into a tight hug. "eren and i are in the past. nothing but best childhood friends. i'm so sorry we left you to go through this alone. you were going through your heartbreak by yourself and i gave you space when what you really needed was someone to lean on."
you sniffle, feeling tears fall down your cheeks and racing to meet your chin that rested on mikasa's shoulder as you hugged her back. "eren asked me if i truly loved kris and it's something i've been thinking about since. i couldn't even tell my best friend that we broke up because she'd been so engrossed in her new relationship."
annie tapped her chin in thought. "it's a little odd she got into a relationship as soon as you got out of yours."
sasha threw a pillow at her, giving her a glare that shut her up. thankfully, you didn't hear though. mikasa pulled back from the hug and wiped your tears off your face. "do you think you loved kris?"
"honestly, no. i just think i was so comfortable in the familiarity of the relationship that i couldn't break it up. doesn't make it hurt less."
"and what about eren?"
"what about him?" you give her a confused look, tilting your head to the side a bit.
"do you like him?"
a groan escapes your lips as you throw your head in your hands. "not you too. armin asked me the same thing last night. besides, i barely know him and i'm still fresh out of a break up."
"there's no time limit on feelings. if you like something, or in this case someone, you like them." annie shrugs.
"exactly! plus i think you and eren would be so cute together!" mikasa claps her hands together and smiles.
"but it's okay to take your time and heal before jumping into something new." sasha adds as well.
at first, you used to think sasha was an airhead but after spending as much time as you have with her, you realize she is anything but. she was probably the most attentive person out there.
"i think i'm just scared that if i jump into something too soon as well they will be a rebound. i don't want to hurt anyone in my healing process." you admit.
"and that's okay! take as much time as you need! just remember that it's okay to rely on us as well. we really do care for you, y/n."
you smile at all of them as you get pulled into a group hug. you don't know what you worried about so much. it was obvious they cared for you and they eased your worries. you weren't alone and it was something so new to you that you didn't know how to feel. sure you had emi, but looking back, you realized that you were always there for her but she was never really there for you.
but looking at these three girls who you have known for such little time, you knew that they would be there for you like you were for them. it was a feeling that made your chest warm and you realized in that moment, you felt so loved.
"so, can i open the oreos?" sasha asks, causing you all to laugh and pull away from one another.
"how about i order some pizza and we have a movie night?" annie offers.
sasha is quick to agree as are you and mikasa. it was still early afternoon and the laziness that sunday's held was hitting all of you. as mikasa and sasha scrolled through the streaming channels you all had trying to find a movie, a chime from your phone was heard.
you swiftly removed the device from your pocket and unlocked it, eyes widening at the message.
"well speak of the devil himself." annie smirked, reading the message over your shoulder.
loml eren 🥰
you free tonight?
"what are you waiting for?! say yes!" mikasa said as she shook your arm to break you out of your trance.
"but... our movie night..." you tried to protest.
"who cares?! we live together! we can have movie nights like every night!" sasha chimed in.
you sighed, knowing they wouldn't stop until you told him that you were free. so you did just that and he quickly replied saying he would pick you up in half an hour. the girls squealed in excitement for you as you wondered what on earth eren had in store for you tonight.
~~~~~~~~
author here
sorry for taking a while to update. i ended up catching covid and was gonna update then but i was not feeling it but im slowly recovering hehe. hope you all enjoy and are excited for the next chapter.
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