Heer

Khushkhabri mile ab takreeban teen mahine ho chuke hain. Main ab paanch mahine ki garbhavati hun. Garbhavastha ke har mod, har chunauti ka samna main khushi aur himmat ke saath kar rahi hun kyun ke mere Colonel Saab har kadam jo mere saath hain.

Ab main bina kuch kiye hi thak jaati hun aur bichare colonel saab ka to ye haal hai ki kabhi kabhi un par gussa kar ke unhe kachcha chaba jaane ko tayyar rehti hun, aur agle hi pal pachtave ke boojh se aansuon mein bheeg jaati hun.

Par ab ye sab colonel saab ke liye rozmarra ki baat ban chuki hai. Badi saralta aur shiddat se, wo mujhe sambhalna seekh gaye hai. Chahe kaam mein kitne bhi vyast kyu na ho, main unke liye hamesha pehli zimmedari rehti hun unki.

Wo mujhe kabhi bhi akela mehsoos hone nahi dete aur puri koshish karte hain ke mujhe Bebe-Bappu ji ki kami mehsoos na ho aur isliye wo meri har chhoti badi khwahish, bina mere kahe hi poori karne ki koshish karte hain.

Par kuch dino se wo thode pareshan se lag rahe hain. Maine pucha bhi par unhone keh diya ke sab theek hai par main mehsoos kar skti hun ke koi to baat zarur hai.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Caldwell!” Elizabeth ki awaaz ne mujhe meri gehri soch se bahar nikala.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Willson!” Maine muskurate hue uska swagat kiya aur use paas bithaya.

“How are you feeling now?” Usne pucha.

“Much better than before, thank you for asking.” Maine vinamrta se uska dhanyawad kiya aur tabhi Radha hum dono ke liye sharbat le aayi.

Elizabeth ne apna gilas uthaya aur maine apna use puchte hue, "You've come after a long time, Mrs. Willson. Is everything alright? Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I’m absolutely fine." Usne uski samanya muskan se zyada dwab wali muskan ke sath kaha ke mujhe kuch atpata laga.

"Mrs. Willson, is there something troubling you?" Maine use pucha.

"No, what trouble could I possibly have?" Usne kanpti muskan ke sath muskurate hue kaha. Uske muskan ke piche ansun chupe hue the.

"Elizabeth, if there’s something on your mind, you can share it with me." Maine dheere se uska hath thamte hue pucha.

Wo yahan akeli hai aur uska pariwar bahut dur, mere ilawa na hi uski koi saheli, toh uski satithi mein ache trha se samjh sakti hun kyu ke jo kuch batein hum apne jeewan sathi se bhi nahi kar sakte wo ya to maa se kar skte hain ya phir kisi behn ya saheli se.

Wo hichkicha rahi thi.

Maine uska hath kas kar apne haath mein liya, “You can share anything. I will never judge you.”

Uski aankhon ke ansun beh nikle aur usne sehmi si awaaz mein kha. "I feel…umm…I feel like there’s another woman in Arthur’s life. He stays out all night, and even when he comes home, he barely talks to me anymore."

Mujhe to apne kano par ek pal ke liye yakeen nahi aaya. Arthur? Wo toh Elizabeth se bepanah mohabbat karta tha, kam se kam main to hamesha yahi samajhti thi.

Main kuch der tak chup rahi, Elizabeth ke aansuon ko apne anchal se paunchhti rahi.

"Elizabeth, are you sure? Maybe he’s just overwhelmed with work? Colonel Saab also seems so tense lately." Maine use samjhane ki koshish ki, lekin meri awaaz mein bhi wo bharosa nahi tha jo hona chahiye tha.

"That’s what I told myself, over and over again," usne kaha, hansi aur aansuon ke beech kahin phansi si awaaz mein. "But there are letters, Heer. Perfumed letters hidden in his coat pocket. I found lipstick on his collar last week and when I asked he just laughed and told me I was imagining things."

Mera dil bhar aya use yun rote dekh.

Ek aurat apna sab kuch piche chhod jis saksh ke liye ek nayi zindagi mein kadam rkhti hai wo akhir kaise uska haq kisi aur ko de skta hai?

"Did you confront him again? Properly?" Maine pucha apne khud ke aansun sambhalte hue.

Usne sisakte hue kehna shuru kiya, "Yes… last night. I gathered all my courage and asked him and he… silenced me. He said if I don’t trust him and can’t find peace in this house, I’m free to go back to England."

Wo ro padi. Bahut bure tarike se jaise ek baccha rota hai. Arthur ne bahut bure tarike se dil tod diya bichari ka.

Bahut akeli hai wo yahan aur takleef mein bhi. Mujh se uski ye halat dekhi nahi ja rahi hai ab.

"He said it so easily, Heer, not once did he think about me." Elizabeth ka chehra safed pad gaya tha, aur uske haath mere haath mein kaanp rahe the. "I truly am alone here, Heer.”

Maine use apni baahon mein le liya aur kaha, "Elizabeth, you are not alone. I’m here with you. I can feel your pain. You’ve stood by me during my hardest times now it’s my turn to be there for you."

Wo mujhmein aur zyada simat gayi, jaise usse ek pal ke liye bhi koi sahara chahiye ho.

"I don’t know what to do, Heer. I’m just tired. I’m all alone in this country. And now it feels like my husband belongs to someone else too."

Mujhe uske liye dard hua. Wo sundar si muskurahat, jo hamesha mujhe himmat deti thi, aaj tooti tooti si lag rahi thi.

"I’ll talk to Colonel Saab. Maybe he knows something, or perhaps he can speak to Arthur….."

"No!" Elizabeth ne jhat se kaha. "Please, don’t tell anyone. Especially not your husband. I just….. I needed to say it out loud. I needed someone to listen."

Maine haan mein sir hila diya. Samjh sakti hun kitna darr hoga uske dil mein aur ye jayaz bhi hai. Pati patni ke beech ki baatein agar koi teesra aakar yun kahe to rishte par bura prabhav to padta hi hai.

Wo bilkul sahi keh rahi thi kabhi kabhi hume bas koi aisa shaksh chahiye hota hai jo humara dukh, humare dil ka gubar bas sun le. Bas itna hi kafi hota hai kabhi kabhi aur Elizabeth isi dard se guzar rahi hai.

"I’m always here for you, Elizabeth. Always. As long as I’m around, you are never alone." Maine jab kaha wo zyada kuch nahi boli. Sirf mera haath kas kar pakad liya.

Maine Radha ko khana lagwane ko kaha aur Elizabeth ko mushkil se kuch khilaya. Phir thodi der baad mere paas baith kar apna dil halka kar wo ghar laut gayi, par mere zehan mein ab bhi uski batein ghoom rahi thi.

Sabse bada sawal to ye uth raha hai mere dil mein ke wo aurat kaisi hogi jo ek shadi shuda mard ka ghar barbad kar rahi hai?

Isi khyalon mein dubi main apne kaam mein lagi thi, moze bunne jab Colonel Saab aaye daftar se aur mere piche baith gaye charpai par apni thodi mere kandhe par rakh.

“What’s being knitted today?’ Unhone pyar se pucha aur unki awaaz sunte hi mere mayus chehre par ek muskan aa gayi.

“Moze.” Maine khushi mein muskurate hue ek moza jo ban chuka tha wo apne haath mein utha unhe dikhate hue kaha.

“They’re really lovely, but in this heat, sitting with all that wool, don’t you feel hot?” Colonel Saab ne wo moza mere hath se lekar use pyar se sehlate hue pucha.

Un chote chote kapdon ko dekh kar jo main humare ane wali bache ke liye bnati hun, Colonel Saab ki aankhon mein alag hi sukoon ki chamak aur utsukta aa jati hai.

“Nahi. Abhi toh mujhe sweater bhi bnana hai iske liye.” Maine khilkhilate hue apna pait sehlate hue kaha jo ab dikhne laga hai aur maine apne dupatte danp rakha hai.

Colonel Saab muskurate hue meri utsukta dekh rahe the aur tabhi meri nazar unke haath mein tazi keriyon par padi.

“Aambiyan! (Keriyan!)” Maine utsukta se kha aur Colonel Saab ne Radha se churi aur namak-mirchi magwai.

Colonel Saab ab daftar se lautte waqt aam ki tazi keriyan baag se tod kar late hai mere liye kyu ke ab main bahut chaw se khati hun aaj kal inhe.

Khata achaar aur nimbu chaat chaat kar toh zinda hun main aaj kal.

Phir jaise mujhe pasand hai vaise unhone khud kat kar ambiyan mujhe di. Main chatkare laga laga kar wo kha rahi thi aur Colonel Saab bas mujhe nihar rahe the mand mand muskan ke sath.

“Kya dekh rahe hain aap?” Maine pucha thodi sakhti bhari awaz se kyu ke ab mujhe unhein yun drane mein bada maza ane laga hai.

“Nothing.” unhone mera sar chumte hue pyar se kha aur andar chle gya apni wardi badalne.

Aur unke jate hi main phir Elizabeth ki baaton mein doob gayi aur kahi na kahi mere zehn mein ek hi darr panapne laga ke kahi age chal kar Colonel Saab ki zindagi mein bhi koi dusri aurat aa gai toh?

Main kya karungi? Kha jaungi main?

Mera to apna pariwar bhi nahi hai jiske paas main laut sakun aur Colonel Saab se itni mohabbat ho gayi hai mujhe ke unke bina jina bhi main tasavvur nahi kar skti.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Colonel Saab ne mere samne baithte hue pucha aur mujhe mere khayalon ke karwan se bahr kheench laye.

“Kuch nahi bas soch rahi hun ke ye ammbi milne ki khushi mein rona aa raha hai toh to ro lun ya bina wajha aap se jhagad lun?” Maine unhe chedte hue kaha halki si muskurahat ke sath.

Woh has pade.

“Fight as much as you want, just don’t cry.”

Unhone binati karte hue itne pyar se kaha ke main bhi has padi unki is masumiyat par.

Bhala mere dimag mein ye baat aa bhi kaise sakti hai ke kabhi ye meri jagah kisi dusri aurat ko de skte hain?

Beintehaa mohabbat kya hoti hai wo mujhe is saksh ne sikaya hai bhala ye mujh se khabhi bewafai karne ka soch bi skte hai ye baat mere zehn mein aa bhi kaise sakti hai?

Apni is bewakoofi ko soch maine zor zor se rona shuru kar diya.

Itna pachtava hua mujhe ke mere ansun rukne ka naam nahi le rahe aur mere samne baitha mera pati mujhe yun rota dekh darr gaya.

Unhone mujhe apni bahon mein bhar liya aur mujhe chup karwane ki koshish karte rahe. Kabhi mera sar sehlate toh kabhi meri kamar toh kabhi mere kano mein pyaar ki meethi meethi baton ki mishri gholte par mere aansun thamne ka naam hi nahi le rahe the.

Ghar ke sare nokar mujhe hi dekh rahe the ke achanak mujhe ho kya gaya hai.

Main is trha ro rahi thi ke jaise koi mar gaya ho.

“Colonel Saab!” Maine sisakte hue apna chehra unke seene mein chupaye kha, “Mujhe kabhi bhi chhod kar mast jaiyega. Main mar jaungi apke bina.”

“What are you saying, little jewel? How could I ever leave you? Huh? Tell me. Do I have anyone else in this world besides you and our child? Tell me.” Unhone mera chehra apne hathon mein lete hue pucha.

Unki aankhein bhi nam thi. Wo samjhne ki koshish kar rahe the mujhe aakhir achanak ho kya gaya hai aur ye baat mere zehn mein aayi bhi kaise?

“Mujhe maaf kar dijiye, colonel saab; bas mere dil mein aya, maine keh diya.” Maine sisakte hue apni bahein unki gardan ki aur lapet li bina is ki chinta kiya ke haveli mein mojood sab hume hi dekh rahe hain.

“Your mood swings and overthinking are going to be the death of me one day!” Unhone dheere se mera sar sehlate hue kaha.

Main yun hi unki bahon mein simti rahi kuch der aur Colonel Saab ki ek ghoor bhari nigah se sab apne apne kaam mein lag gaye.

Main yun hi sisakti rahi aur wo mere kano mein pyar bhari batein karte rahe.

“Ah!” Phir achanak se chilla kar main khadi ho gayi.

“What's wrong, little jewel?” Wo dar gaye aur main apna pait sehla khushi mein khilkhilane lagi. Wo chonk gaye jaise ki mere sar pe seengh nikal aaye ho.

Ek pal pehle main ro rahi thi aur ab has rahi hun.

Main unke hairan pareshan chehre ki aur dekhte hue hasne lagi aur unka hath apne pait par rakha.

“Isne abhi laat mari mujhe, Colonel Saab. Dekhiye!” Maine kaha muskurate hue, aur Colonel Saab bhi thoda chonk gaye khushi ke mare.

“Really?” Unhone apne dono hathon ko meri kokh par rakha bache ko mehsoos karne ke liye.

“Mehsoos hua?” Maine utsukta se pucha.

Aur unhone nam akhon se muskurate hue haa mein sar hilaya.

“My little tiger, come quickly! You've made my wife cry so much, she's taken my very life with her tears!” Colonel Saab ne pyar se kaha aur main zor zor se hasne lagi jaise abhi pehle maine ro ro kar sari haveli sar par uthai hi na ho.

Wo mujhe dekh kar muskurate hue apna sar hila rahe the.

Yunhi wo rona kab muskurane mein badal gaya pta nahi chala. Aise hai mere colonel saab jinke hone se main sab gham bhul jati hun.

Raat ke khane ke baad wo meri godh mein sar rakh lete hue, mere liye kitab padh rahe hain aur main unke ghungrale balo mein halke hathon se ungaliya chla rahi thi.

Par unka kaha ek shabad bhi maine pehli bar suna nahi. Mere zehan mein ab bhi Elizabeth ki batein aur uska rota chehra tha.

Unhone kitab band ki aur mere pait par halke se honth rakh humare bache ko chuma aur ab wo us se batein karenge.

Maine jis din se unhe btaya tha ke bache humari har baat sunte hain kokh mein, to wo ab roz ghanton baith kar us se batein karte hain.

Unhone apni naram thodi mere pait par rakhi aur apni aankhon mein wahi khushi wali chamak ke sath humare bache se baat karna shuru kiya.

“Hey little one,” unhone dheere se kaha, unki awaz mein woh garmahat thi jo unka har lafz ek madhur sangeet bana deti thi.

“I hope you’re being kind to your mother, because today you made her cry rivers, and let me tell you, you scared your poor old father to death.”

Main dheere se muskara di, unki baatein sunkar jaise mere andar koi phool khil gaye ho. Har raat wo is trah usse baatein karte hain, jaise koi purani dosti ho in dono ke beech, jaise pehle se jaante ho ek dusre ko.

“I can’t wait to meet you, you know,” wo keh rahe the, unki ungliyon ka halka sa dabao mere pait par mujhe ek sukoon de raha tha aur mere hath unke baal sehla rahe the.

“Your mother, she’s the bravest, strongest, most kindest woman I’ve ever met and she’s got the most beautiful smile in the world which you better inherit, or I’ll be very disappointed.”

Maine unka kandha thoda sa thap thapakar chheda, “Aap bache ko darane wale pehle pita honge duniya ke.”

Wo has pade, “Oh no, I’m just setting expectations early.”

“Ek khwahish to meri bhi hai.” Maine muskurate hue kaha.

“What is it?” Unhone meri aur dekhte hue pucha.

“Iski aankhein bilkul apke jaise gehri hon.” Maine kha. “Sundar aur aisi manmohak ke bas un mein doob jane ko dil chahta hai.”

Wo muskurae aur unka lehja thoda aur narm ho gaya, aankhon mein halki nami si thi jo unhone mujhse chhupane ki koshish ki aur dubara apni batein shuru kardi.

“When you come into this world, I’ll be right here, waiting. I’ll hold you first, if your mother lets me…..”

“Nahi dungi!” Maine turant bola, haas kar.

Wo hans kar bole, “See? Already we’re negotiating your arrival, little tiger.”

Phir ek lamba sa sans le kar unhone apna haath meri kokh par rakh diya jaise kuch mehsoos kar rahe ho.

“I will protect you, no matter what. I promise you that. This world might be cruel sometimes, but you’ll have us, your mother and I. And as long as we’re breathing, nothing will harm you.”

Unki baatein sunkar meri aankhen bhi nam ho gayi. Pata nahi mere naseeb mein aisa pyar kaise likha gaya, ek angrez fauj ka afsar jo na mujhe tut kar chahta hai balki mere liye kuch bhi kar skta hai.

“Also,” wo thoda ruk kar muskaraaye, “if you’re a girl, I hope you don’t fall for a soldier. They’re reckless, stubborn, and they never listen.”

“Jhooth! Mere colonel saab to aise bilkul bhi nahi hai.” maine turant kaha, unki gardan ke peechhe thodi si gudgudi karte hue.

“Exactly,” unhone aankh maar kar kaha. “Not everyone falls prey to love the way I did, right?”

“Ye baat to sach hai mere colonel saab lakhon mein ek hain.” Maine fakhr se kha. “Inke jaisa koi aur ho bhi nahi skta.”

“You know what? Your mother is too good for me, and if you’re anything like her, you’ll be too good for any man and I would never let an idiot come closer to you.” unhone kha aur main has padi.

Abhi se itne pagal hai ye apni beti ki mohobbat mein.

“Whoever dares to even wander around you, I swear I’ll break their legs.”

Wo kehte chale gaye aur main hasti chali gayi.

Unki har baat mein itna sach, itni mohabbat chhupi hoti hai ke kabhi kabhi darr lagta hai ke ye sab sapna toh nahi? Kahin kisi din meri aankh khuli aur sab kuch chin gaya toh?

Par phir unka haath mera haath tham leta hai, aur mujhe yaad aa jata hai ke,

Yeh sapna nahi hai.

Yeh mera sach hai, meri sabse khoobsurat hakikat.

Mera pyaar.

Mera ghar.

Mere Colonel Saab.

Agli subha colonel saab ke daftar jane ke baad main phir se kal ki hi baaton mein khoi hui thi.

Elizabeth ki halat dekh mujhe Nooran ki bahut yaad aayi. Jab humare paas humare maa baap na hon to kabhi kabhi ek dost ka sahara hi sabse zyada hota hai.

Par meri pyaari sehli to mujh se yun ruthi ke meri zindagi ki itni badi khushi pta chlne ke baad bhi mujh se milne nahi aayi.

Radha ke zariye pta to use chl hi gya hoga phir bhi kaisi narazgi ke wo aai hi nahi.

Par mera dil bahut bechain hai us se milne ke liye, apne bache ko uski pyari mausi se milwane ke liye.

“Radha!” Maine use awaz di aur wo bhagti hui aayi.

“Ji, jiji!”

Maine idhar udhar dekha ke kahi koi humari baatein to nahi sun raha aur phir tasalli karne ke baad kha, “Mujhe Nooran se milna hai.”

“Par jiji apko Gurbaksh bhaiya ne mana kiya hai kahi bhi ane jane se.” Radha ne kha.

“Toh use yahan le aao.” Maine kaha.

“Nahi yahan bulana khatre se khali nahi hoga jab se colonel…..” wo achanak se kuch kehte kehte ruk gayi. “Wo chulhe par sabji hai main zra aai.” Hadbadaht mein wo wapis rasoi ki aur bhagi.

Iski aisi halat dekh mere dil mein sabse pehla khyal yehi aya, kya ye kuch chupa rahi hai mujh se?

Jab Nooran pehle kabhi nahi dari yahan ane se toh ab jab Colonel Saab nahi hai toh kaisa dar?

Aur Radha ne colonel saab ka naam kyu liya? Kya kuch aisa hua hai jiske bare mein main anjan hun?

Colonel Saab aaj kal preshan bhi bahut lagte hai. Pehle bhi wo goli chalne wali baat mujh se chupa chuke hain toh kahin ab bhi kuch….nahi nahi!

Gurbaksh bhaji ne meri kasam khai hai wo colonel Saab ko koi chot nahi pohnchenge.

Par kaise pata lagaun akhir?

Iqbal chacha! Haa un se baat karti hun.

Main varamde se bahr nikli hi thi ke Iqbal chacha nazar aaye, mali se kuch keh rahe the.

“Iqbal chacha!” Maine unhe pukara aur wo meri taraf aye.

“Haa meri dhee raniye!” 

“Apse kuch puchna tha.” Maine dheere se kha.

“Ji, puttar ji, pucho!”

“Kya koi baat hui hai? Colonel Saab mujhe aaj kal preshan se lagte hain aur main kai dino se dekh rahi hun aap unke sath daftar bhi nahi ja rahe...”

“Puttar ji, saab ji ne mujhe ghar par nigrani rkhne ka hukum diya hai….”

“Kyu?” Maine unhe tokte hue pucha.

“Wo tumhe in sab se dur rkhna chahte hain par main samjhta hun ke tumhe pata hona chahiye. Ghar mein chobisghante tum rehti ho toh tumhe ilam hona chahiye taki jo chuk kahin hum se ho gayi hai wo tum dekh sako.” Unhone kaha.

“Chacha ji paheliyan mat bujhiye saaf saaf btaiye.” Maine baichaini main kha kyu ke ab mujhe dar lag raha hai.

“Dhee raniye, ghar mein koi to gaddar hai jisne saab ji ki study mein ghus kar hukumat ke jasooson ke naam churaein hain aur krantikariyo ko diye hain. Ab wo ek ek karke unhe marte ja rahe hain. Kyu ke wo ek gupt jankari thi jo sirf saab ji ke paas hi thi to hukumat ne un par inquiry bhi bithai….”

“Inquiry?” 

Ye sunte hi mere hath paun thande pad gaye. Colonel Saab ko to sab yun hi nicha dikhane ki taak mein rehte hain mujh se shadi karne ke karn. Ab to unhein aur moka mil gaya hoga.

“Wo to saab ji ne apni imandari aur sujh boojh se rukwa di par ab wo khud krantikariyo ki talash mein din rat lage hain.” Iqbal chacha ki in baaton ne to mujhe aur dra diya hai. “Toh puttar zra haveli ke andar har naukar par tum kadi nigrani rkhna agar kisi par bhi shaq ho mujhe btana baki main sambhal lunga.”

“Ji.” Mere muh se bas itna hi nikla aur wo chale gaye.

Par mere andar to sangram macha gaye.

Dhokha!

Bas ye ek hi shabad mere zehn mein gunj raha hai.

Radha ne mujhe dhokha diya hai. Meri ijazat ke bina na jane mere ghar mein kya kya karti rahi hogi wo.

Sabse pehle to main colonel saab ki study mein gayi aur dekha kahi kuch lapta toh nahi hai.

Mujhe kuch bhi yahan se wahan to nahi dikha toh main study se bahr aa gayi. Rasoi mein ja kar dekha toh Radha waha nahi thi.

“Radha kha hai?” Maine dusri naukrani se pucha.

“Memsaab wo ghar chali gayi keh rahi thi uski amma kuch bimar hai to jaldi jana tha.” Usne kha. “Bas abhi abhi hi nikli.”

“Acha theek hai, apna kaam karo.” Maine use kha aur turant bahr ki aur badhi.

Jab tak haveli ke gate tak pohnchi Radha dur gali ke nukad par thi. Maine dur se uska peecha karna shuru kar diya.

Kuch galiyan dur wo ek purani kothi ke paas ruki. Main abhi thoda dur this us se.

Is se pehle ke main us tak ja skti, us ka samna kar skti wo kisi se chupti hui kothi ki ke deewar ke paas chup gayi.

Is se pehle ke main kuch samjh skti kothi ka darwaza khula aur Arthur waha se nikla. Use dekh main thodi hairan hui zarur par uske piche ati aurat ko dekh meri to duniya hi palat gayi.

Wo Nooran thi jo Arthur se has has kar batein kar rahi thi aur uska hath thame hue thi.

Nooran!

Aisa kaise ho skta hai?

Nooran Elizabeth ka ghar barbad nahi kar skti. Meri saheli aisi nahi hai.

Arthur ne nikalne se pehle yahan wahan dekha aur main turant apna chehra apne dupatte se dhak mud gayi aur chlne lagi.

Kuch kadam hi chali hongi jab mere paas ek jeep aa kar ruki.

“Mrs. Caldwell, what are you doing here at this hour?”

Colonel Saab ki awaz aayi aur main ek pal ke liye toh sun hi pad gayi. Ab inhe kya jwab dungi.

Wo jeep se utar meri aur aaye. Maine mud kar unhe dekha, ek muskan ke piche apni ghabrahat chupate hue.

“What are you doing here in this scorching heat, my love?” Unhone ne pucha.

“Umm…wo…kulfi khane ka bhaut dil chah raha tha to bas aa gayi.” Maine samne kulfi ka thela dekh turant bhana bna diya.

Colonel Saab ne us aur dekha jahan meri nazrein thi aur pucha, “Then you should’ve told Iqbal; he would’ve brought it home for you himself.”

“Ghar ate ate pighal jati hai na toh khane mein maza nahi ata.” Maine bahana banaya taki unhe shaq na ho.

“Alright then, come on, let’s go treat you and my little tiger to some kulfi. He’s gotten quite mischievous lately and dragged you out into this blazing sun!” Unhone thoda haste hue kaha aur mujhe kulfi ek thele ki aur le gaye.

Mujhe kulfi dilai par apne liye nahi li, “Aap nahi lenge?” Maine pucha.

“No, I just had a cup of tea with the general. You eat.” Unhone halki si muskan ke sath kaha.

Maine unke hath se kulfi li aur chup chap khane lagi par mere dil or dimag mein jo kashmakash chal rahi hai us ki wajah se mujhe kuch acha nahi lag raha.

Jaise taise maine wo kulfi khatam ki aur Colonel Saab mujhe jeep mein bitha kar ghar le aaye aur na hi main Radha ke piche ja saki aur na hi Nooran ka samna kar saki.

Mera dil ye gawahi dene ko taiyar hi nahi hai ke Nooran aisa kuch kar skti hai.

Mujhe jald se jald use milna hoga aur ye galat fehmi dur karni hogi.

“We are here, my love.” Jaise hi haveli ke bahar jeep ruki main apne kyalon ke samandar se bahr nikli. “Go and get some rest.”

“Aap?” Maine pucha kyu ke wo jeep se utre nahi the aur mujhe jane ko keh rahe the.

“I have some urgent work to take care of. Please eat dinner and go to bed on time and don’t wait for me. It might get late….”

Maine unhe tokte hue sidha puch hi liya, “Colonel Saab, kya aap kuch chupa rahe hain mujh se?

“What would I possibly hide from you, sweetheart?” Unhone apni pareshani hamesha ki trha apni muskan ke piche chupate hue kaha aur meri aankhein bhar aayi.

“Nahi mujhe lag raha hai aap kuch toh chupa rahe hai, meri chati indri mujh se keh rahi hai aur maine mehsoos bhi kiya hai aap kai dino se pareshan bhi lag rahe ho.” Maine pucha unka haath thamte hue ke kash wo apni pareshani mujh se sanjhi kar le aur koi rasta nikal sake unki pareshani ka.

Par unhone badi hi saralta se nakar diya. “There’s nothing like that. Don’t stress your mind unnecessarily.” Unhone ne mera chehra apne hathon mein thamte hue kaha. “And listen, if you feel like eating something or going out, take the jeep. I’ll tell Iqbal to drive you wherever you wish to go.”

Maine dheere se sar hilaya aur jeep se utar gai aur wo chale gaye. Main unhe khadi tab tak dekhti rahi jab tak wo meri aankhon se aujhal nahi ho gaye.

Aaj mujhe ek baat to ache se samajh aa gayi ke jhooth bolne mein sirf main hi nahi colonel saab bhi mahir hain.

Main ghar ke andar to aa gayi par ek ek pal gin gin kar maine raat hone ka intezar kaise kiya wo main hi janti hun.

Taki naukaron ke jane ke baad main ghar se chup chap nikal sakun bina kisi ko pata chale.

Colonel Saab der se aayenge is se pehle mujhe Nooran se milna hi hoga.

Raat ke andhere mein apna chehra dupatte se chupae main sab se bachte bachate nikli usi jagah ki aur jahan dupehr mein Radha gayi thi Nooran se milne. Bas ek hi prathana karte hue ke Nooran mujhe bas waha mil jaye.

Jaise hi main wahan pohnchi darwaza khula tha. Main dabbe paon andar gayi unhein pukarti hui.

“Nooran! Radha! Koi hai kya?”

Par koi jwab na aya. Main adar chalti chali gayi aur mujhe ek kamre ka darwaza khula mila. Main wahan gayi to dekha us kamre mein loot ka saman aur hathiyar the.

Lekin ye sab yahan aise kyun pada hai?

Ye sab saman toh kisi surakshit jagah hona chaiye tha.

“Akhir tum aa hi gayi. Tumhara hi intezar kar rahi thi main dupehr se, Mrs. Caldwell.” 

Piche se awaz ayi Nooran ki aur maine mud kar dekha Nooran aur Radha khade the.

“Nooran ye sab kya chal raha hai? Arthur tumhare sath kya kar raha tha?” Maine pucha.

“Wahi kar raha tha jo uski biwi ko lagta hai.” Nooran ne jab ye qubool kiya mere toh paun tale se zameen khisak gayi.

“Ye jhooth hai!” Maine uski aur badhte hue kaha uska hath thamte hue. “Kehdo ke ye jhooth hai. Tum kisi ka ghar nahi barbaad kar skti. Meri Nooran aisa kuch kar hi nahi skti. Ye koi galat fehmi hai na?”

“Maine kisi ka ghar barbaad nahi kiya, us admi ne apni biwi ko khud dhoka diya hai.” Nooran ne apna hath ek jhatke mein mere hath se kheench liya. “Main toh bas mere inteqam ki rah par chal rahi hun. Wo rah jo tu bhool gayi. Mujhe un logon ki maut ka inteqam chahiye jiske liye mujhe jo karna pade wo mai karungi.”

“Main kuch nahi bhooli, Nooran….”

“Acha toh wo Henry ab tak zinda kaise bacha hua hai jab ke tere paas laakhon moke honge use raste se htane ke?” Nooran ne gusse mein pucha.

“Wo bure insaan nahi hain. Unhone toh resign tak karne ki koshish ki thi.” Main bhi bebasi mein chilla uthi.

“Nahi begunah nahi hai wo. Uske bhi haathon par un begunahon ka khoon hai jo janwaron ki tarah maar diye gaye the. Ye sab angrez ek jaise hai. Sab ke sab kafir hain aur tu ek gaddar!” Nooran ke is ilzaam ne mujhe tod kar rakh diya.

Maine ghabrate hue kaha, "Kya keh rahi hai tu? Maine bhala….."

Nooran ki awaaz aur tez ho gayi, "Jab Amritsar mein log apne pyaron ki lashon tak ko taras rahe the, tu us angrez ke seene se lagkar ro rahi thi. Tu sab bhool gayi, apne walidain ka khoon tak bhool gayi. Tu toh ek makkar beti hai, Heer. Khud ko Krantikari kehti hai, tu to ek beti tak na ban saki is Bharat Maa ki beti khud ko kis muh se kehti hai tu?”

Nooran ke ilzamo ne mujhe jhanjhoar kar rakh diya aur aansun meri aankhon se jhar jhar behne lage.

"Main kuch nahi bhooli, Nooran! Mere dil mein har laash, har cheekh zinda hai."

Nooran ke Shabd aur bhi katile hone lage, "Kuch nahi bhuli? Baat karti hai!" Usne tans kaste hue kaha, “Tu apna zameer baich kar uske bache ki maa ban gayi, Heer, aur tu keh rahi hai ke tu kuch nahi bhooli? Tu kuch nahi, bas ab ek angrez ki hambistar biwi ban kar reh gayi hai.”

“Ye kaisi ghatiya batein kar rahi hai tu? Mere pati hain wo.” Maine gusse se kaha.

Beshak ye meri jaan se pyari sheli hai par mere charitra par daag lagane ka haq use bhi nahi hai.

“Kam se kam wo ek ache insaan hai jinhone ne apna naam mujhe sari duniya ke samne diya hai aur tu kya kar rahi hai? Shafaq bhaijaan ko yun dhoka de rahi hai raat ke andhero mein chup kar?”

Ab main apna apa kho chuki hun. Kisi ko haq nahi hai mere desh prem aur mere patni hone ke farz ko yun tolne ka.

"Mujhe apne mazhab, apne mulk, apne log sab yaad hain. Par mujhe ab maa banne ki zimmedari bhi nibhaani hai. Shayad mera jung ka tareeka alag ho gaya hai, par maine haar nahi maani hai aur na hi apni mohobbat se bewafai ki hai."

Nooran ab wo meri Nooran nahi lag rahi thi. Uski aankhon mein mere liye bhi sirf nafrat thi.

“Aur zameer kisne becha hai ye mujhe batane ki zarurat nahi hai.” Aur phir main Radha ki taraf mudi aur use gusse se pucha, “Ye to nafrat ki aag mein andhi ho chuki hai tujhe kya hua hai? Kyu dhoka diya tune mujhe? Kyu meri ijazat ke bina colonel saab ki study se dastavez churaye tune? Kis liye?”

“Aap apna maqsad bhool gayi jiji. Inquilab humara maqsad hai.” Radha ne kha.

“Ye kaisa inquilab hai jo kisi aurat ka ghar ujad kar hasil hoga? Elizabeth kitni khush thi apni shadi mein aur ab wo tut rahi tumhari wajah se.” Maine Nooran ki aur dekhte hue kaha tute hui dard bhari awaz mein,

“Meri Nooran aisi nahi hai….”

“Wo Nooran to usi din Shafaq aur mere bache ki maut ke sath dafan ho chuki hai Mrs. Caldwell.” Usne mujhe sakht awaz mein tokte hue kaha. 

Aur uski baat sun kar main toh sunn hi pad gayi.

Bacha?

Ye kab hua?

“Bacha?” Mere kanpte honthon se bas itna hi nikla.

“Haa bacha jo in zalimon ki darindagi ke hathe chad gaya.” Nooran ne kaha. “Ab inki naslen main mita dungi.”

Uski zuban se zehar tapak raha tha aur mere hath paun fula raha tha.

Maine yahan akele aakar koi galati toh nahi kardi? Agar usne apni nafrat mein mere bache ko kuch nuksan pohncha diya toh?

Apne bache ko bachana meri pehli zimmedari hai aur iss se pehle Nooran meri aur badhti bahr ka darwaza khula aur Jenab bibi andar aayi.

“Ye sab kya ho raha hai?” Unhone pucha.

Maine unhe btaya, “Radha meri peeth ke piche mansube bna rahi hai. Isne mere ghar se kuch gupt jankari churai hai jiski wajah se colonel saab par inquiry baithi hai…”

“Nahi Radha ne kuch nahi churaya wo naam to tumne diye the.” Jenab bibi ki baaton ne mujhe dang kar diya.

“Main?” Maine hairani mein pucha.

“Haa tumne hi to un jasooson ke naam bhijwae the….”

Unki baat adhuri reh gayi jab spaat se kamre ka darwaza khula aur maine jo dekha usne mera pura wajood hila kar rkh diya.

Colonel Saab darwaze par khade the kuch sipahiyon ke saath.

Main sunn hui apni jagah ar khadi thi aur unke chehre par mujh se mila vishwasghat saf nazar aa raha tha.

Maine unhe aaj tak yun gusse mein kabhi nahi dekha tha.

Sipahi hairani mein colonel saab ko to kabhi mujhe dekh rahe the.

Darwaza kab band hua aur kab Nooran aur Radha waha se chale gaye, main nahi janti. Janti hun toh bas sirf itna ke ab sab kuch tabah ho chuka hai.

Mere labon se kuch na nikla jab ke main bahut kuch kehna chahti thi unhe.

Maine kabhi nahi socha tha ke mera ye sach yun is tarah unke samne aayega aur mera sab kuch ek jhatke mein bikhar jaega.

Colonel Saab ke chehre par gussa nahi, khaali pan tha hairani ka. Aisi sannata bhari aankhen jise maine kabhi nahi dekha tha. Na pyaar, na ilzaam, bas ek toota hua vishwas jisme doobti ja rahi thi meri saari saafai, saari kurbaniyan.

Main kuch kehna chahti thi, par lab sukh gaye the. Dil ka dard jubaan tak aata hi nahi tha.

Sipahi ab meri taraf badhne lage. Par Colonel Saab ne bas ek hath uthakar unhein roka.

Main bas apni behte asruon bhari aankhon se roti ja rahi thi unki aur dekh. Mujhe Jenab bibi ki chilana sunai de raha tha jo bhagne ki koshish mein nakayam rahi aur ab sipahiyo ke hathe chad gayi hain.

“Sir?” Ek sipahi ne hairani mein pucha.

Colonel Saab ki awaaz aayii, thandi, lekin kaatne wali.

“Step back.”

“Par sir... orders…”

“STEP BACK, I said!” Colonel Saab chilla uthe aur main darr ke mare kanp gayi. Maine aaj tak unki aisi unchi awaz na to suni thi na unki yun gusse bhare nigahen kabhi dekhi thi.

Unki aankhon mein kuch tha, junoon ya bebasi, main samajh nahi payi. Jo ab mujhe bahut hi khaufzada kar rahi hain.

Sipahi peeche hat gaye, darr ya izzat mein, pata nahi.

Phir ek pal mein, Colonel Saab ne apne revolver nikaala aur un do sipahiyon par goli chal di jo meri taraf badh rahe the. Goli ki awaaz kamre mein goonj uthi ke meri cheekh nikal gayi.

Sipahi zameen par gir gaye, lahu ka daag unke kapdon se chhalk kar zameen par fail gaya aur lahu ki gandh mujhe ulti karne par majboor kar rahi thi.

Maine rote hue apna muh apne dupatte se dhak liya.

Tabhi do sipahi Colonel Saab ke piche se aaye aur main daar ke mare chilai, “COLONEL SAAB!”

Lekin is se pehle wo mere colonel saab ko nuksaan pohncha sakte, piche se Iqbal chacha ne goli chla kar un ko mar giraya.

Main kuch samjh nahi pa rahi thi ye kya ho rha hai. Mere hath paon kanp rahe the aur dil zor zor se dhadak raha tha. Main bilkul sunn ho chuki thi.

Jo sipahi Jenab bibi ko pkde khada tha wo use khanjar se zakhmi kar bhag chuki thi. Kab? Kaise? Main nahi janti.

Jab Iqbal chacha ne andar aa kar us zakhmi ko mara tab mujhe ehsas hua ke Jenab bibi frar ho chuki hai.

Colonel Saab meri taraf badhe, meri kalai pakdi, na zor se, na pyaar se, bus majboori se. “We have to go, now.”

Unhone bas itna kha aur mujhe piche ke darwaze ki aur khinchte hue le gaye. Jahan jeep pehle hi khadi thi aur Iqbal chacha hume haveli le aaye.

Kisi ne kuch nahi kaha, koi awaaz gunj rahi thi to bas mere rone ki.

Rona apni bikhre ashiyana par aur apno se mile dhokhe par.

Nooran ne akhir mujhe yun dhoka kyu diya? Kya iska jawab mujhe kabhi mil bhi paega ya nahi?

Us khooni baisakhi mein hum sab ne bahut kuch gwaya hai par Nooran inteqam ke raste par yun pathar dil ban chal padegi ye maine kabhi sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha.

Kitni gandi batein ki usne mere bare mein aur toh aur mere bache ko bhi nuksan pohnchana chahti thi. Agar Jenab Bibi na ati toh bhagwan jane kya ho jata.

Colonel Saab sahi kehte the ke main ab apne hi logon ke liye ek Hindustani se zyada ek colonel ki biwi ho chuki hun.

Mere apno ne hi mere bharose ka faida utha meri achai ka qatal kar diya hai.

Kyu kiya Nooran tune aisa?

Gadi haveli ke andar pohnchi. Colonel Saab ne mujhe khinch kar niche utara aur Iqbal chacha ko haveli ka har darwaze khidki ache se band karne ko kaha.

Pehli baar colonel saab ne kisi officer jaise hukum nahi diya tha, kisi aashiq ki trha bhi nahi, sirf ek aadmi jo bas bacha lena chahta tha us insaan ko jisse usne sabse zyada chaaha.

Hum jaise hi andar pohnche unhone mujhe sofe par bithaya.

“Colonel Saab.” Maine sisakte hue unka naam liya.

Par wo kuch nahi bole. Unki chupi mujhe khae jaa rahi hai. Wo mujh se swal kar lein, cheekh lein chahe toh chila bhi lein par yun khamosh na rahe mera dil ghabra raha hai.

Unhone kuch nahi kaha aur baithak se chale gaye.

“Colonel Saab, meri baat to suniye! Bas ek bar mujhe meri baat kehne ka moka to dein!” Main unke piche bhagi.

Par wo rasoi se mere liye pani lene gaye the. Sharam aur pachtawe se maine aur rona, gidgidana shuru kar diya.

Unhone pani ka gilas maze par rakha aur mujhe paas rakhi ek kursi par bitha mere samne zameen par ghutno ke bal baith gaye aur tab se ab tak pehli bar mujh se bole.

"Just tell me that it was all a misunderstanding!" Unhone dard bhari awaz mein pucha, aur bebasi unki awaz mein saf sunai de rahi thi jisne mera dil kachod kar rakh diya. “I won’t ask what you were doing there or why you went. Just say it once, say that you have nothing to do with any of them. That’s all I need to hear.”

Itna vishwas!

Itni mohabbat!

Aur maine kya kiya? Unhe rond diya.

"Please, I am begging you." Yeh alfaaz jaise teeron ki tarah seedha mere dil ke paar ho gaye. Unki awaaz ki dard bhari kapkapahat, unki aankhon ki nami, aur woh bebasi jo unke har shabd ke saath aur gehri hoti ja rahi thi, sab kuch mujhe tod raha tha.

Maine ye kya kar diya hai.

Meri saanson ki raftaar tez ho gayi. Maine apni aankhein band kar li, jaise agar maine unki taraf dekha toh apne jazbaat par kabu na rakh paungi. Lekin meri chup, meri khamoshi, unke sawalon ka jawab de chuki thi. Aur shayad yehi jawab unke dil ko sabse zyada chot pahuncha gaya.

Wo bas ek baar mere muh se sunana chahte the ke ye sab jhooth hai par ab is makam par main aur jhooth nahi bol sakti thi. Khud ko aur nahi gira sakti inki nazron mein.

Meri himmat mar chuki thi. Na to mujh se sach quboola gaya aur na hi jhooth bola gaya.

Ek lamba sannata chha gaya. Main bas unki saans lene ki awaz sun sakti thi, tez, bechain, aur dukh se bhari hui.

"Was that all a lie?" Unki awaaz ab ek kanpate hue ilzaam ki tarah lagi. "Did you never love me? Not even for a moment?"

Jab unhone ye kaha toh mano mere andar kuch tut kar bikhar gaya.

Meri ungliyan meri dupatte ko bechaini se muthhi mein jakkar rakhne lagi. Main unse aankhein nahi mila paayi. Phir unhone woh shabd kahe jo mujhe meri hi nazron mein gira gaye.

"Was this marriage also a part of your plan?"

Ab ki baar, unki awaaz mein sirf dukh nahi, ek toot chuki rooh ki goonj thi. Jaise har umeed, har yakeen, har pyaar ek pal mein bikhar gaya ho.

Itna sab kuch dekhne ke baad bhi unhein mujh par yakeen tha aur wo bas yehi chahte the ke main keh dun ye sab galat fehmi hai.

Par meri chupi ne unka mujhe par atoot vishwas, unka guroor, unka maan sab tod diya.