"Lance," I yelled. "Lance!" I ended up repeating even louder. He still didn't turn around. I assume he was avoiding me after my rudeness at lunch which I understand but I had already given myself enough punishment for not listening; I didn't need more from my only friend. I picked up my speed, sliding in between students to catch up with him until I could reach out and poke his shoulder.

"Leave me alone." He snapped, trying his best to push his way through the crowds of students. For someone as tall as him, it was rather hard. I was a bit smaller so I could fit into thin gaps and manoeuvre through the corridor a bit easier. I think something else might have been on his mind because he was never so abrupt with me... unless I really had upset him. Lance was somebody who'd always brush things off so I didn't see why he was suddenly so sensitive.

"I can't do that. I wanted to say sorry for-" Just at that moment, Lance was sucked into the crowd and disappeared from my sight. I stayed still, trying to find him amongst the millions (that was a bit of an exaggeration but there was a lot) of heads until someone barged into me and told me to stop holding everyone up.

-

I decided to have pizza for dinner because pizza was amazing. You could never go wrong with pizza and anyone who disagreed was stupid. I opened up the oven and shoved the pizza inside, feeling the heat against my face. Just as I was shutting the door, my phone buzzed inside the pockets of my jeans. I pulled it out and glanced at it to see a message from Lance shining on the screen.

Lance: It's not you. It's me.

I snorted a little before leaning over and typing out a message myself.

Me: You breaking up with me?

Lance: Very funny

Me: I'm a comedian

I assumed that was going to be the end of the conversation once it took Lance over ten minutes to reply. I sat down on one of my kitchen chairs and watched as the timer on the oven slowly reduced. That was just how exciting my life was.

My phone then vibrated again.

Lance: Look. I haven't exactly been telling you everything lately. There's something I really want to talk to you about but I can't do it over a text message. That's wimpy. We need to meet up. Can you come over?

Me: Kind of about to eat dinner

Lance: At 4pm?

Me: I was hungry, alright?

Me: If you come over here I'll give you some pizza

Lance: Hell yeah! I feel a little nauseous though so I'll only have like... one slice. On my way

Me: See you in five!

-

I shuffled over to the side with the pizza tray in my hand. I dumped it down and, as if on cue, someone knocked on the door. I fumbled to get the oven gloves off of my hands before rushing over to it and pulling it open. "Hey!" I exclaimed as my eyes laid upon Lance but the excitement faded as soon as I saw his face. His eyes were red and bloodshot as if he had been crying. The redness looked so foreign against his tanned skin: Lance rarely ever cried. Something must have seriously been wrong.

"Hi." He mumbled, a lot less enthusiastic than my greeting. He kept his gaze on his shoes, no matter how much I mentally tempted his eyes upwards.

"Do you want to talk now or after the pizza?"

"After please..." We both headed into the kitchen and Lance took a seat. I did the same after putting the pizza on a plate in the middle of the table. I reached for a slice and took a gigantic bite. Lance was much more polite as he took a smaller bite, wincing as a string of cheese connected the pizza and his lips. I chuckled but his face remained as emotionless as ever.

My smile was quick to falter after that. I continued eating the pizza but something felt heavy inside my chest. I wanted to know what was bothering him because it was obviously tearing him down and eating him alive. Lance only ever cried when it was really serious. Something inside me urged me to reach over and lace our hands together just to let him know that I was there for him but I couldn't. Of course I couldn't.

-

"So, talking," Lance started, obviously trying to postpone the conversation as much as humanly possible. We were now sat cross-legged opposite each other on my bed and my eyes were fixed on his hands that were constantly moving around. My mind wandered to the potential things he was going to say but not one stood out over the others. My brain wasn't even being logical, introducing me to bizarre possibilities like Lance had contracted a killer disease and this was his last day alive or Lance wasn't really a human and he was an alien who was expected back in space. I would have laughed had I not been so worried. "I've been thinking a lot lately. Like a lot," He emphasised the two words so I definitely got the message. I mean, I had received the message the first time he said 'a lot' but I didn't let him know that. "Trying to figure myself out and shit."

"Yeah?" I replied, just to remind him I was listening to his every word. I even leaned forward and placed my hand on his knee. Maybe it was a bit of an abrupt move but I was growing more concerned by the minute. My heart beat a little faster at the contact but I tried my best to ignore it in favour of my friend's feelings. He went silent for a moment as his eyes began to glisten with tears. One escaped and I followed it with my eyes until it dropped off of his chin and onto my bed.

"I'm gay," The words were out and Lance looked like he was simultaneously about to combust and jump high up into the air. Encouraging the latter, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. The contact made me feel all fuzzy inside but I, once again, repressed it. I wasn't about to make Lance's coming out moment about me. "I've known for ages and you're the first person I've told."

"I'm honoured, Lance, and I'm so, so proud of you." I was proud. I had been trying to encourage myself to come out to him but I had never been able to. I knew just how hard it was for him and I admired him a lot for being able to tell me a secret so big.

"Thank you. It means so much to me that you responded so positively. I was freaking out about telling you so much. That's why I got so angry earlier. I had so much on my mind I thought it was going to explode."

I backed away from the awkward hug and, I don't know if it was just me but it felt like we were sharing a moment. My bedroom light was shining down on him like a spotlight, illuminating all of his beautiful features. I had already accepted that my best friend was attractive but never had I thought of him as the most attractive boy in the world. His nose was small and I knew he hated it but it was cute. He had the odd freckle covering his cheeks but you could only see them if you leaned really close. I didn't realise how long I had been staring until I noticed his head inch forward ever so slightly. It was one of the tiniest of movements that I would have missed if I had blinked at the right time. I don't know what I expected but disappointment filled me as he whispered, "You're the bestest friend in the world."

I let out a laugh, convincing both myself and Lance that I wasn't disappointed at all. What had I expected? It wasn't like he was going to kiss me. Did I want him to kiss me? I shook my head to myself but, deep inside, I knew exactly what I wanted. "Bestest isn't a word."

"So what? Make it a word."

And it was like he hadn't just told me one of the biggest secrets he could have held.