KAEDE | HAYASHI

EVEN THOUGH IT Saturday, the day was just as productive for me as the weekday. The rest of the week hadn't been anything out of the ordinary— just that Odette had disappeared from my sight.

I'd wanted to talk to her again but I couldn't find her anywhere. During lunches or dinner, I couldn't see her tight coils among the multitude of students. Even in Physical Education, she didn't dawdle after class and vanished as soon as the bell went.

I didn't know what to think. The only possible reason I could find, was that something had happened when we'd shared the basketball court. It was probably self-centred of me to lay myself as blame but I felt responsible for whatever had triggered her tears. Or at least responsible for her not showing up again on the court since.

Yeah, there was a little guilt, but my main motivation for locating her was the inexplicable ache I had to form a friendship with her. I rarely wanted to branch out, it went against my nature. But there was something in me that wanted to connect with the bambi-eyed girl.

Maybe I'd see her today.

The thought came out of nowhere as I finished dressing in the bathroom. The hand that had chucked my dirty laundry into the hamper froze as I glanced at myself in the mirror. With heavy embarrassment, I watched as my skin flooded with pink. I looked away from my face, determined to avoid the glass for the remainder of my time in there.

Silly intrusive thoughts.

I left the bathroom with more clarity than when I'd went in. With all facets of my mind in order, I was able to scout the dorm for my dorm-mates. Neo was sprawled across his bed with Lorato on his back, whilst Cai's was empty and already made up. It didn't take a lot of thinking to conclude his whereabouts.

I hope he's not isolating himself in the Art basement again.

He had a tendency to be a pillar of support but not rely on others himself. I'd heard he was much worse when he was younger, but he was working on it which was the important thing.

After double-checking Neo was fast asleep, I grabbed my gym bag and made my way out. Though inevitably, in the quiet halls, my mind drifted back to Odette.

"Do you remember the last time you told us you found a girl pretty?"

Or rather, it chose to bring up Neo's joke about me crushing on her. I couldn't stop the scoff that left my lips.

Like that would happen; I couldn't even confidently say we were acquaintances.

With all my contemplating, it didn't feel like it took that long for me to reach the gym. Since it was seven in the morning, I wasn't surprised to see it was empty.

My focus for this week's workout was PPLA. Since it was Saturday, I was repeating the cycle since yesterday was my rest day. It meant I was working on my chest, shoulders and triceps today. You could never look too big.

I ruffled through my bag for my Sony headphones as I headed over to the weightlifting corner. I was addicted to their ability to cancel-out sound; it really helped with my anxiety since it felt like I was the only person present.

I mused on what playlist I'd pick as I dragged them over my ears once I arrived to the other side of the gym. I dropped my bag on one of the benches and went through my stretches. Ready to start, I thumbed my Hulvey playlist and began my routine.

It was amongst the clink of weights and my pants of breath, that my mind went silent. All my focus was on my heartbeat and the strain of my muscles as I pushed myself to exhaustion.

My workout went swift as usual and only a few came and went during it. The quiet stream of people was what moved me to come now instead of the evening. The whole castle was up by then, giving a whole new meaning to peak-time.

I'd aimed to push my endurance today and my tired muscles just reaffirmed I had. I headed out at a slower pace than I'd entered the gym with. I stretched out my arms above my head as I yawned.

My first stop was the dormitory so I could take a needed everything-shower. Finding Neo still asleep, I took advantage of the empty bathroom and felt completely refreshed afterwards. I changed into a comfy hoody and joggers and decided to do my skin routine.

The mirror in the bathroom was waist-high and had a shelf underneath that held everyone's facial things. On a normal school day, I did a routine with less steps but on the weekend, I took advantage of the extra time and went through a more thorough process. It wasn't just a way to keep my skin at its best, but a way of self-care.

I ran my eyes over my face as I picked up my exfoliating face wash. I thought I'd passed my blemish check when I caught the small, pink spot above my left brow.

Well that was great.

My eyes narrowed as if that would make it disappear. I sighed and got started with cleaning my face.

"Ew, try washing your face before coming anywhere near us."

I couldn't say I was surprised that the future pimple — no matter how titchy — was bringing up memories.

As soon as puberty hit when I was younger, I'd been cursed with acne. The markings on my face as a gangly kid were bad enough, but the bullying I'd faced at my old highschool — Kings Cross Saints — made it worse. Especially when my older brother, Benjiro, ended up getting into fights with anyone he caught picking on me.

We ended up switching schools and joining St Everfields when AJ's parents told mine about the better schooling option. It came after I'd ended up in a fight myself, at my limit with the punches I could ( literally and metaphorically ) take.

Even with the fresh start, it was hard at the beginning, especially since I came from a rival school. But it improved when I joined the basketball team and became friends with my teammates— specifically Neo and Cai.

I especially owed Sang-Hun a lot, not just for him seeing the talent in me and adding me to the team. He shut down all of the harassment I was still facing. He made sure everyone knew that they'd have to answer to him if they tried anything. It meant I saw AJ's older brother as mine too and also explained why he and Benjiro got along so well.

I put a lid on the memories threatening to swamp me and went through the nine remaining steps to the routine. When I'd finished with my sunscreen, I put all the products I'd used back in their places and left the rose-scented space.

Regardless of how I felt, their words couldn't stand right now.

I quietly wrapped up in the dorm, determined to keep Neo from waking. I grabbed a protein milkshake from the dorm mini-fridge and drank it all before doing anything else. After binning it, I threw some homework into my school backpack and shouldered it on my way out. There was no better person to tackle it with than who I was heading to.

It didn't take me too long to arrive at the Head Girl's office. If there was anyone who'd be up right now, it would be AJ. Even though the door was cracked open, I knocked and waited for a response before entering.

"Come in Kae-Kun."

I peered around the open door, chuckling at how she knew it was me.

I caught a slight smile on her lips as she did some paperwork. "I've already told you that you can always come in."

"And I'll still knock; it's rude not to." I entered and sat in the chair opposite her desk, taking note of all the post-it notes haphazardly stuck all over the wooden surface.

I dropped my bag between my legs and leaned back in my seat. "So how are you AJ?"

She glanced up from the sheets she was looking through. "You know how it is."

I knew to translate the five words into, "her parents still had high expectation for her that she was still trying to reach."

I frowned but I knew she'd caught it when she nodded. "Our stunt only made them think we were on our way to engagement. They were. . .disappointed about our break up."

I winced. "I'm sorry."

The dyed-ginger sighed and reclined in her chair, giving me her full attention. "We both agreed to it, just because it went wrong doesn't mean the blame suddenly lands on you."

I ran a hand through my hair before fiddling with my rings. "It's still unfair to you since you get all the negatives."

She shook her head as she moved some stuff around on her desk. "I was the one who thought of the idea for us to fake date." She looked up with a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I'll survive."

I nodded and didn't push any further. She didn't seem to hold any grudges about the results of our scheme from last year— besides if she wasn't happy with me I'd know. She was terrible at hiding her emotions; it's why she and Cai got along so well. They both disliked people who weren't straightforward and intentional. At her lax muscles, I followed her lead and got out my homework.

We worked in comfortable silence, me making a dent in my maths pile and her with her paperwork. It was going smoothly until my phone started vibrating in the pocket of my sweats. I took it out to see who was responsible for the slew of notifications and wasn't surprised to see them all from the same person: Neo.

He'd spammed the boys group-chat with a bunch of snaps. Still, both of my best friends knew I spent Saturday mornings catching up on homework and anything else that had escaped me during the week. It was another reason for why I was holed up in here instead of the library; AJ had barred Neo from entering. Normally rules wouldn't stop the dope, but he was scared of her when she was angry. Clearly, he'd moved to bother me the only way he could: via phone.

My phone didn't stop shaking even after swiping away the wall of notifications and setting it on the table. The continuous hum grew boring fast.

AJ snorted and I looked over at her. "You might as well give in, he's nothing but persistent."

I rolled my eyes at my phone as it vibrated again. "Then he'll never learn."

She smiled to herself as she shook her head. "He won't change, we all know how he is. He's an attention-seeker."

After her spectacular advice, I gave in to see what all the fuss was about. It wasn't only a ton of snaps of Neo's cat, but Cai had left the group after warning him if he didn't stop. Despite the smile curving my lips at the profanity in the Welshman's messages, I didn't blame him.

"What did he want?"

I shot a text telling Neo to stop or I'd leave a group too before giving her a dry response. "For us to see Lorato— as if we don't share a dorm with the feline."

She snickered as I left Snap and checked out the new texts in my family groupchat on WhatsApp. Both Mam and Da had asked about how I'd settled in and I paused. My trainers tapped a beat against the floor as I put together of a response that would reassure them.

Me
Same old same old; I have
homework and basketball to
focus on. They're helping us
with personal statements but I'll
make sure to send you my final
draft Mam. Da make sure to drink
your teas and Mam drink less
coffee. May God keep you all safe
till I next see you. Love you all🤍

Nana had sent me a direct message asking the same thing instead of sending it into the family chat. I smiled to myself unsure if she'd done it on purpose or if she was unsure of how groupchats worked. Still, I felt warm at the affection of the woman I was blessed to have.

Me
Hi Nana! I'm doing fine, really.
I'm settling in to Captainship, it
still feels a bit weird if I'm honest.
Nothing I can't grow into tho.
The boys are watching out for me
though, both Neo and Cai miss you,.
Don't buy any more plants, Mam's
on your tail. Love you 🤍

I finished typing out the response with my reflection catching the dimple in my cheek. It disappeared when I spotted the eight snaps I'd gotten from Neo in the meantime.

He had to be stopped— and when had he changed his name on my phone?

BIGGEST BALL(SACK)ERS GOIN
🥵🙏🏀⛹️‍♂️

nenaur 🚨

nenaur 🚨

me
If you don't stop I'll
unadd you.

me
I'm serious.

nenaur 🚨
stop lying 🥱

me
Do it again, I dare
you.

nenaur 🚨
just say you're boring
and go 🙄

I shook my head despite the chuckle leaving my lips.

He was never serious.

I chucked my phone in my bag and sighed at the silence that followed.

That'll do.

"Random question, but has anything happened between you and Odette?"

My eyes jumped to AJ to find her focus no longer on her stacks of paper. "What?"

There was no way she'd noticed. . .had she?

Her eyes were free from their contacts so her brown gaze was what met mine. The questioning glimmer in the depths made my skin heat and I had to look away. I quickly unlocked my muscles to relax in my chair so I didn't look suspicious.

I cleared my throat. "I mean, why do you ask?"

She watched me for a few moments before shrugging and flicking through the top sheets to her pile. "Nothing really, I haven't been able to befriend her yet. I was wondering if you had and if you had any tips."

I had a feeling she knew more than she let on. Not to mention she mixed with more people than I did as Head Girl. But maybe she suspected I knew her because of Neo's crush on Lesedi. Regardless, her query only reminded me of Odette's absence.

I certainly wasn't the best to ask advice from.

I shifted my sight to the mechanics force diagram in front of me. "Unfortunately, I'm no closer to her than you are."

"Oh well." Her words held no inflection and I was going to question her when she changed the subject. "Is it true that Benny and Winton broke up?"

I wasn't surprised at the worry in her tone; she was close to Benjiro like I was close to Sang-Hun. Our families had been overlapped since our parents crossed paths in Japan before we were born and became fast friends. We'd attended events together, shared family get-togethers. So I wasn't surprised that she was concerned for him too; everyone who knew Benji, knew he loved hard.

"Yeah." A sigh escaped me. "You can imagine how he's been feeling about it."

She stopped fiddling with the Montblanc fountain pen he'd given her as a gift for becoming Head Girl to catch my eye. "He told me he was ready to propose."

It was silent between us for a moment. I remembered when he'd repeated the same phrase to me in the summer. We were at a Howell Gala and his eyes were stuck on Aves Winton conversing with others guests. His eyes hopeful, grin bright.

"He told you too?"

She nodded, an emotion on her face I hadn't seen before. "We spoke a lot but since the breakup he's been distant. I wanted to ask you how he's really doing."

Honestly, I wasn't surprised. He had a tendency to hide the battles he was facing with a grin. I couldn't really say anything because I started doing the same thing ( minus the grinning ) after that article was released with those pictures of me inside.

I tilted my head back. "He's doing as well as you'd expect."

"Staring into space and not practicing?"

I grimaced at her spot-on guess. "Pretty much. I know Mam and Da are scheming something, I hope it puts him back on track."

She ducked her head and seemed to be carefully placing her next words words. "Did Winton ever give him a reason to why she broke up with him?"

Despite myself, my eyes widened. "Why d'you think she was the one who ended it?"

I hadn't told anyone out of basic respect to Benji. He was the one to break the news to our immediate family— and could barely utter her name without crying. I hadn't ever seem him like that, broken almost, wishing it was something he could wake up from. With a wound that fresh, I doubted he'd managed to retell the story to anyone else.

The breakup had surprised all of us— and I realised just how vulnerable you had to be to let someone into your heart. The indirect experience of my older brother had made me realise how it could come back to haunt you.

AJ let out a sound of disbelief. "He was — is — in love with that girl. Anyone who saw them together would know he'd fallen harder than she had."

It was silent between us for a few moments and Benji's red-rimmed eyes flashed in my mind.

"No, she didn't give him a reason."

When he'd told us that, Da had to keep the keys to the family jet out of Nana's clutches. She'd vocally hatched a plan to head over to the London Winton residence to egg Aves' beloved pink Koenigsegg Jesko. Mam was too busy hugging Benji to join help Nana carry it out but her eyes said she agreed vehemently with the idea. Working high up in the government for as long as she had, she knew the best lawyers in the country to chose from in case things went awry.

From what I knew, Da still kept the keys to the jet on his keyring away from Nana.

I caught AJ bite her lip and look away at my answer.

Had she expected otherwise too? I know I had.

I quietly asked, "Why did you want to know?"

Her lips parted then shut before she shook her head. "Never mind."

I felt like she was going to say something significant but I didn't force her. I decided to turn the conversation to her brother instead and hopefully more positive things.

"How's Sang-Hun?"

She let out a puff of air and I debated if it was a good decision. "He approached me after we'd announced we'd broken up to say he didn't believe it from the get-go."

"Really?" I felt my face heat up.

Her face soured. "He was so annoying about it."

I was already embarrassed for the next time we'd see each other. I could imagine the ribbing he'd give me.

"What gave it away?"

As far as I was aware, our acting skills were pretty good. AJ's parents were pretty conservative so all it took was holding hands here and there and the occasional arm around the shoulder to sell it to them.

Why would Sang-Hun think otherwise?

"Do you really want to know what he said?"

Her tone made me groan and I already knew I didn't. Still, I had to be prepared for the next time I saw him.

"Humour me."

She couldn't keep her eyes on me and ran them over the lines of text before her. "He said if you were actually in love, everyone would know it. Something about you having a confidence around your girl in the same way you did on the court."

Heat climbed up my neck at the rebuttal.

Confidence? Did he not think I was confident around AJ?

I opened my mouth to form an argument before closing it after a little more thinking time. "Why's he. . .kinda right?"

I ran a hand through my hair as defeat pressed down on my shoulders.

Of course he knew, we'd went to the same school together for the past three years.

"He always is." I didn't miss her irritated mumble and the corner of my lips tugged up.

At least I wasn't the only one suffering.

"How's he settling in at Harvard? I still can't believe he went all the way to America."

She paused her writing to give me a look. "Why haven't you asked him yourself?"

"He's busy attending one of the most famous uni's in the world, I don't wanna bother him."

It's what I'd been telling myself since the last time I'd seen him face-to-face. I hoped with the more I repeated it too myself, the more I'd believe it.

She stared at me for a moment. "Uh huh, if that's what you're going for."

I frowned, ignoring my warm neck. "I don't know if he's still interested in Sixth Form matters. Which, y'know, is basically old news for him since he's now in uni."

It was a weak response but it wasn't a complete lie. I didn't want to disappoint him when he'd been the main one to advocate for me being captain.

What if I didnt even get the team past semifinals? If we didn't even reach and were knocked out before then? What if I couldn't even form a team that half measured up to last years?

A ginger eyebrow of hers hitched up as she looked me up and down. "Oh shut up and message him now."

I was going to continue playing statues when the alarm on my phone went off. "Would you look at that? It's time for me to go."

She smirked. "I'll tell him myself."

I paused before beginning to pack my things away, like my heart wasn't racing. "Do it, I don't care."

I slung a strap of my bag over my shoulder when I'd finished. "I'll see you AJ."

"Bye." She nodded before turning her attention back to her work but when I reached the door I caught her mutter. "I'm surrounded by dumb boys."

I looked over my shoulder but she'd resumed her highlighting like nothing was amiss. "I heard that."

She lifted her head to give me a smile that revealed her canines. "I know. Now leave me alone so I can be productive."

I rolled my eyes but followed her instructions to leave.

Though in the silence of the hallway, it didn't take long for her recent questions to resurface in my head. My brother's sad eyes when he sent me off on my flight to St Everfields appeared behind my eyes. It didn't take me long to decide to show him some love in case he needed it.

  Me
Hey I know we've not spoken in
a while but I hope you're doing
okay. I can't wrap my head around
Aves not being by your side so I
can't imagine how it is for you. I
know you're three years older than
me, but I'm always here if you need
me. You've got this because God's
got you🤞💪🙏

I stared at the screen in the wake of my text and let my mind roam. AJ's question on Odette popped up and I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

Was it linked to her avoiding? Did AJ know something about it?

I turned the matter over in my head for the remainder of my walk back to the dorm before leaving it be. I couldn't figure it out; there were too many variables missing to find any solutions.

✞

For once, Neo hadn't lied about where I could find him.

He'd said on text that I'd find him at the basketballer's table in the cafeteria. It was lunch so I'd expected him to bag some food and make up some excuse to be around Lesedi. Regardless of my doubts, I found him amongst some of our other teammates— minus Cai.

As I walked into the large space, humming with activity, I raked my eyes for his dark mop. It didn't take too many scans to find him sat at the table he'd longed to switch to the last time the three of us were together. In other words, Aerona's table.

To be accurate, it wasn't her table. She was always sat with the same few girls, ones I wouldn't have recognised last year. One I still didn't. AJ had said the table held their dormmates when I'd asked about it a few days ago. I hadn't missed her half-smile that told me more than she had: our prayers stood firm regarding her roommates.

While I'd seen AJ this morning, I hadn't spoken to Aerona in-person for a while. My legs steered me in the direction of their table to make a brief stop— when I spotted the girl at the center of most of my thoughts recently. Odette.

Of every single one, she chose that moment to meet my gaze.

Bambi-eyes.

It was the only thing that passed through my head as I came to a stop. My legs stopped, my breathing stopped, even my heart stopped and skipped a beat.

There she was.

The only thing that brought me out of my reverie was the shift to her frame. It was subtle, her shoulders hunching inwards in an attempt to make her seem smaller. Her teary browns flashed in my memory and I remembered how she was basically evading me, whether it was intentional to or not.

The small hope I had for it all being a misunderstanding snuffed out as I watched her excuse herself to leave the table. It felt like a kick in the gut now I couldn't lie to myself any longer.

She was uncomfortable around me.

I swallowed hard and lost all motivation to go anywhere near the table, even if she wasn't there anymore— especially that she wasn't there any more. I couldn't resist giving her back one last glimpse before she left.

I caused that.

I kept my sigh to myself. I altered my footing and began to head to the basketball table like I'd originally planned.

So much for that.

"Hey everyone."

I obviously hadn't cleared whatever I felt off my face by the time I sat down because everyone gave me a second look.

Charun was the only one brave enough to question it. "You alright Captain?"

I tried to push what had happened to the back of my head. "Yeah, yeah. Just. . .thinking."

He raised a brow but didn't say anything else and I was grateful. I turned my stare to Neo, only to find his gaze on the table where his crush sat. For a second I thought he'd seen the whole thing and my heart dropped to my stomach. But I noted the goody expression on his face and followed his eyeline to find Lesedi.

A rush of relief made up for my warm ears. I was thankful that he was none the wiser. I doubted he'd have let me live it down.

"Hi Neo."

His chin nearly hit the table when it slipped from where he'd rested it on his fist. "Oh. Hey, didn't see you there."

The corner of my lips twitched. "I could see that."

He sniffed and glanced at the empty tabletop before me. "You've already had your lunch?"

I looked around the table to find the trays in front of everyone else. Too late, I realised that I hadn't gotten myself any food on my way in.

"I've not gotten it yet, I was checking if you had so we could go together."

It was a blatant lie but he nodded like it was believable. "Well I've not so let's. I'm more than peckish."

He got up and lead the way to the Athlete's line with no hesitation. I trailed after him and despite myself, my eyes trailed back to the girls' table.

I couldn't help but quietly grumble about the whole situation. It made no sense for me to be hurt when we didn't even really know each other. Maybe it was FOMO. Maybe a side effect of losing the opportunity to make a great friend was the sharp twinge in my gut.

"Are you alright?"

I wasn't surprised that Neo had noticed my attention being elsewhere as we looked over the food options.

I paused for a moment and thought about voicing the mess in my head. Then I clocked how I was making such a little thing into such a big deal. I should be more put together with all the things I wanted to achieve this year.

I shook my head at him and picked the grilled chicken burrito while he grabbed a plate of bangers and mash. 

"Kaede?" He stopped me after we left the line, his tone earnest. "You always have my ear, y'know?"

My lips tugged up into a smile before I could help it. "I know, thanks Neo."

"Now c'mon, I'm starving."

I trailed him back to our seats, noting everyone on the team was still present— well what was left of it. We were six players down from having a full squad but that didn't mean the guys' personalities weren't loud enough to make up for it.

"Captain, please tell Cam to get off his phone and be present during our bonding time. " Rohan's voice called out and I looked over to catch him gesturing at Cameron who was typing away on his phone.

The lanky Scotsman was a substitute last year for the Small Forward. With a similar appearance to the twins in Harry Potter and the smirk to prove it, he was no stranger to socialising. It was a trait I was envious of sometimes but when I thought about how much trouble he got into for running his mouth, I didn't feel as bad.

Like last year, Cai had punched him after overhearing him mouth off with some footy players about the cheer team. . .and Aerona had come up. The ginger had always feared being on Cai's bad side ever since.

Cameron had always been a social butterfly so it wasn't uncommon for him to text at the dinner table. I was also unsurprised that Rohan would try to turn lunch into a bonding exercise when he wasn't even on the team anymore.

My lips twitched but I didn't add my input as Liam tried to get them both to compromise. They'd sort themselves out soon enough, but Rohan's words did remind me of something I wanted to ask while everyone, bar Cai, was here.

"Hey guys, could I have your attention for a sec?" My voice wasn't loud in the slightest but Cameron lowered his phone and Neo stopped stuffing his face.

"I was thinking about changing practice times since our timetables aren't the same as last year's. What days of the week and times d'you think would be best?"

The lunch break soon turned into an impromptu meeting. It was a good distraction from my worries and I took note of everyone's opinion. At some point I'd tally up the days and times and figure out what worked for everyone. I added a reminder in my notes to ask Cai for his before bringing the discussion to a close.

"I've got everything, thanks guys."

As captain, I had enough on my plate it was, I didn't need confusing feelings thrown in the mix. Everything I did this year was crucial for my career; I couldn't be distracted by girls, no matter how much I wanted to befriend them.

My attempt to keep my face slack failed because Neo asked, "Anything else you want us to do?"

I bit on the inside of my mouth before shoving my non-basketball thoughts to the back of my head. "Is it alright for you all to get word out about tryouts? I'll put flyers up, but just to tell people in the interim? It would be a massive help since I'm thinking of holding them as soon as possible, probably next month."

The words fell awkwardly from my mouth but losing out on possible players was something I couldn't let happen. I wouldn't disadvantage the team just because it was a little uncomfortable to ask for help.

"Of course we can, we need a team so we can play too you know." Even with his haughty tone, I knew Cameron was coming from a stance of support.

"Yeah, we can't leave you to do everything." Liam spoke up giving me a determined nod that I smiled at in return.

Rohan shot me a wink that Neo scrunched his nose at. "It's the least we could do."

I felt the muscles to my shoulders relax.

That was something going right at least.

I wasn't shocked that Neo had to have the last word after he blew me a kiss. "Anything for you Cap."

I snorted, knowing the action was half in retaliation to Rohan who fake-glared. "Thanks. Is Cai not sitting here over your stunt in the group chat this morning?"

It hadn't taken me long to figure it out. Cai hadn't messaged me to add him back into the boys group chat for one.

Neo shrugged, or did as well as he could while he scooped a mouthful of mash and beans into his mouth. "Maybe, maybe not."

I smiled when my eyes found themselves on the empty chair at the table Cai was sat at. The lift to my lips fell.

"Neo, do I come off as scary?"

His brows drew together as he swallowed and put his full focus onto me. "Hey, where's this come from?"

I'd tried to bottle everything and it had gotten me nowhere. It was time to come clean. . .or at least partly.

I  lowered my voice, intending to keep this between the two of us. "It's just with Odette, y'know Lesedi's cousin. I think I. . .scare her? I'm not sure of what I'm doing wrong."

He hummed for a moment. "You're usually not bothered about scaring people K, is something different with her?"

My mouth parted before it snapped shut when I realised he was right. In situations where I didn't want to socialise, I often used my unapproachable demeanour to my advantage. It kept everyone who wasn't interested enough in me, away.

But I wanted her to be interested in knowing the real me.

I twisted my rings. "It's stupid. I want to be her friend but I don't think she likes me."

He didn't make a big scene at me wanting to talk to her, like I thought he would. Instead he used his napkin to wipe his mouth in reflection. I sipped at my orange juice.

"I thought you were both good when we did that runner? I saw you two talking a little. But anyways, have you tried saying anything to her?"

"If only that was the issue." I rubbed my eye while I explained. "She practically scarpers whenever we're in the same vicinity."

"Maybe it's less about you and more about whatever you remind her of."

"Remind her of?"

He shrugged, trying to nick some of my watermelon slices from my tray before I swatted his hand. "We're looking at triggers right now in Psychology and it just popped up in my head. Maybe you remind her of an ex or someone she doesn't feel comfortable or safe around. That's what I'd assume since you've barely interacted with her."

I debated on mentioning the court incident since that was where it had all seemed to go wrong. But it wouldn't change much about his advice; her being triggered made more sense than her suddenly being scared of me for me.

She had been crying less than two minutes after I'd noticed her showed up.

But I still had to ask, "But if it's me she's afraid of?"

He didn't appear as troubled as I felt and I half-wondered if it was for my benefit. "Then next time you're in eachother's proximity, just be yourself. There's nothing scary at all about Kaede Hayashi and she'll come to realise that herself."

His ease regarding the situation, did put me at ease. However, he didn't let me think on it further when he nudged me and threw a glance at my watermelon pot.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay you can have one."

As he rubbed his hands together, I couldn't stop my lips from curling up. "Thanks by the way."

He only looked closely at the selection of slices before grabbing my spare, unused fork to pick one. "Like I said, I've always got a spare ear for you K."

I smiled at him before tucking into my watermelon slices too.

Even with his crazy ways, I was always thankful that I had him.

EL SPEAKS !
  hey loves!!  if you're seeing this w a normal title, this is the ful chap 🤗
so new content 🙈🙈 whatchu think?
for me kd will always be a silly billy who so cute ☹️ like odey i promise he will keep every secret you ask of him 🤞
anyways VOTE and COMMENT it helps my book reach more ppl who might like it‼️

( posted; 11/08/24 )