On an off day in the third week of eight, men were missing their families. Men were missing their loves. Men were worried for the first time since the beginning. They wanted to go home.

Having more discipline and strength, they hid their feelings well. Dean was extremely good at this, except when it came to Cas. He hadn't thought about Lucy much at all. A little bit of Sam and his parents. But he was constantly worried about Cas. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. But knowing there definitely was something wrong.

Dean sat down with Sergeant Lucifer. "Sir, I don't think Private Novak is physically capable of war."

"That isn't your decision, Private Winchester. That's his. We know exactly what's wrong with him. He's willing to give up his life for his country."

"No! He's willing to give up his life altogether! He doesn't care what happens to himself! You're sending him to his own death! He won't even last five minutes out there!"

"Don't you dare yell at your superior! Talk to him yourself! Otherwise he's staying in the army. It's his duty."

Dean took a deep breath. "Tell me what's wrong with him. Please."

Sergeant Lucifer went silent. It was the only time Dean thought he looked like an actual human being and not some non-stop demonic jackass.

Sergeant spoke softly, "It's not mine to tell. I suggest you talk to him. I'll exempt you from training this morning. I have an understanding you two have a thing for each other. I have someone like that back home. Go to him."

Dean gave him a strange look, but sprinted out of the cabin. Asking everyone he could find whether they have seen Cas or not. He finally caught up to him by the mess hall smoking a cigarette and coughing into his fist.

Dean slapped the cigarette from his hand and stomped on it. He raised his voice, "What the hell is going on?! What's wrong with you?! You're coughing up a storm with asthma and yet you continue to smoke! Sergeant says you have some medical problem. What is it?"

Cas stared at him for a moment. Then spoke, "You know what it is. It's asthma."

Dean held Cas' shoulders, pressing them into the outer wall of the mess hall. He said sternly, "Tell me! Tell me now! If you love me at all you'll tell me!"

Dean started tearing up. He hadn't realized what he had said until it was too late, but he didn't take it back because he did love him. Cas' eyes widened and pushed Dean aside. He mumbled, "You're engaged to my sister. I don't have to tell you shit."

Dean caught Cas' wrist. "I know. And I'm going to call it off because I'm falling for you."

Cas whipped around, "You'd do that for me?"

"Please tell me what's wrong with you."

Cas looked to the ground and spoke, "You can't feel those things for me."

Dean pulled Cas close and pulled his chin up so Cas faced him. Dean whispered, "And why not?"

"Because I'm dying, Dean."

Cas pulled away hard and turned to walk away. He choked down tears and said to Dean, "I have lung cancer. So I figured if I'm going to die, it's best it's not done sitting around doing nothing. I want to save lives for the rest of mine. And that's why Sergeant is shipping me out in two days. He figured it's my dying wish and he could help make it happen."

Cas walked away and left Dean there. Dean felt sick to his stomach. He felt light headed. He didn't know what to do.

He walked back to the Sergeant's cabin and demanded to be sent out with Cas. Sergeant Lucifer nodded, "I figured you'd ask. I already put your name on the list. Good luck, soldier. I wish you two the best of luck. You're both exempt for the next two days. Just show up to lunch and dinner. Enjoy showering while you still can too. Also, pack up your things. You can stay in your platoon for now, but you'll be put in a different one soon and you'll get to know who you're going to be around for war."

Dean went back to the platoon's cabin. Cas was sitting on his bed, packing up his things. Dean hesitated before approaching him. "I'm being sent out with you in two days."

Cas' head shot up, "What?! No!"

Dean sat beside him and took his hand in his. "If you're leaving this world like that, I'm sure as hell going with you. Because I'm in love with you, Private Novak."

Cas smiled at him and then turned away to cough. Dean gave Cas a minuscule squeeze from his palm for reassurance. Dean knew he had made a mistake. For being an engaged man, falling for a sick and dying man. Who is also the brother of his "beloved."

That night he wrote three letters. One for Sammy, his parents, and also to Lucy. He explained everything. He explained he had fallen for Cas in these short weeks. He explained that he would no longer marry Lucy and finally, that he'd be getting shipped out sooner than expected and there would be no more letter sending. He told them he loved them and sent back other letters he had received and any other keepsakes.

Looking through his things he had found a necklace. It was an amulet of something he wasn't familiar with. It was taped to a letter from Sam. "You may not find this right away, but I made you this in art class. I was originally going to give it to you for Christmas, but I don't know when I'll see you next. I hope it keeps you safe. As a good luck charm almost. Love, Sammy."

Dean clenched it in his fist and held it to his heart. He cried softly, whispering, "Thanks Sammy. I'll miss you."

He put it around his neck and tucked it away under his uniform. Cas put a hand on his shoulder and sat down beside him. Dean cupped Cas' cheek and eyed his lips. He slowly inched towards him until their lips met. Cas pulled away ever so slightly and whispered, "I'm in love with you too, Private Winchester. I have been for years."