Picking up an old story:  https://www.wattpad.com/215157696-imagine-if-you-assembled-the-avengers-volume-1

After working for about a year or so part-time with the Avengers, because honestly, that was all you could handle of the group, you had been introduced to the newest member of the team, Bucky Barnes. It had been pretty quiet before his arrival; the most that you knew was that he was Steve's best friend, and that he had been through a similar experience with the serum as he had. Your overprotective sister, Natasha, had neglected to tell you much about the darker side of his background, but you weren't sure exactly why; it felt a little like an inside joke that you weren't let in on, but everyone else had heard the punchline.

On the day that he was due to show up at the compound, it was conveniently your day off, and it only made you that much more suspicious. It became clear that Nat was trying to keep you away from him and you were determined to find out why. So determined, that you had taken the day off from a stakeout with Jessica so that you could sneak your way into the hangar to watch his jet come in. When he exited the plane, allowing Steve to lead the way, you nearly gave yourself away with the gasp that you couldn't hold in.

When you met new people, you had made a habit of sensing their auras, just to get a feel for the type of person they were and how you would approach them. It was an advantage that you valued, but one that you didn't discuss because it could be taken as an intrusion too easily, even though you really weren't delving into anything all that personal. When you tried to read Bucky, all you got back was a jumbled mess that you couldn't interpret, but one color was overwhelmingly in the background, trying to drown out any attempt at others. His primary aura was black. Or at least it had been for so long that he wasn't able to shed it completely. Black wasn't good, historically, and it only fed into your need to find out more about this Barnes guy. You had been so enthralled that it made it all too easy for your master spy sister to sneak up on you and watch along at your side.

"Don't do it, (Y/N)," Natasha warned you quietly, "I told you, there's nothing there that you need to know."

"There's something, Nat, don't lie. I can't get a lock on his aura and it's bugging me."

"Why are you trying to?"

"Look at him," you scoffed, pointing in Bucky's direction, "he seems so mysterious, with kind of that brooding loner vibe going on. I bet he's got some amazing secrets to tell."

"Yeah, that you have no need to know." Natasha could only shake her head as she walked away, leaving you to continue staring at the new recruit from a safe place behind enough boxes to block his sight of you. It wasn't that you were hiding, per se, but you hadn't thought of how to approach him yet. "Hey," she tried again, "stay away from him, (Y/N). Trust me."

~~~

Natasha didn't even realize that by practically forbidding you to learn more about your newest teammate, she was only pushing you to get closer. He would spend much of his day with Steve, the two of them finding their time best spent in the gym; it was almost comical how predictable and regimented he was despite the mystery surrounding him. With Steve was also where he found his comfort, and the aura around him would finally take on a more soothing hue. Even with the change, however, there was always the hint of darkness behind it, not allowing the true color to emerge.

"You're staring," Sam whispered with a laugh, taking a stand next to you by the gym window that overlooked the room, "they're gonna see you eventually. You've got two sets of enhanced eyes and ears down there, remember."

"They haven't seen me yet."

"What are you looking for, anyway?"

"The new guy," you pointed with a small nod of your head, "what do you make of him, Sam? There's something going on there that I can't put my finger on. He has a weird energy that I can't lock down."

"Does it feel...murderish?"

"What?"

Sam paused and turned his head in each direction, trying to be subtle in making sure that you two were the only ones in earshot before leaning in closer. "(Y/N)...he was the Winter Soldier. With all of your connections in the underground world, I know you've heard of him."

"No shit..." you gasped, eyes widening as you watched him spar with Steve. "That explains so much. How didn't I know that?"

"Maybe because your eyes are so clouded with looooove," he mocked, nudging you with his shoulder and nearly tipping you over. "But let me warn you, kid, your sister is never gonna green light this. If you're interested in Barnes in any way other than as a teammate, she'll put a stop to either it or you...or maybe even him. Be careful there."

Sam then turned away to leave you there to continue your stealth study, only for you to quickly find that you weren't being stealth at all. It was only a second of attention, but as Steve and Bucky continued to spar, there was a moment when Cap flipped Bucky over his shoulder and you knew that he saw you. Oddly enough, you didn't shy away and held your ground. The longer that you stood there, watching the two super soldiers, the more that you began to notice that you just might be the one being watched; it was just that Bucky was better at it than you were.

You knew that Sam was likely right, in that Nat would simply murder you before she let you have interest in Bucky, but that only made you that much more determined; her limits on you generally had that effect and you judged her for not realizing it by now. It was a decision hastily made as you walked towards the elevator, that Nat's insistence to keep you apart made what you were about to do her own fault.

~~~

"So who do you think she was watchin'?" Bucky groaned as his body slammed to the ground. "Me or you?"

Steve panted and stepped back, readying his stance for the repayment of assault that his friend was about to unleash. "I'm sure it was you. I've known her longer and she's never looked at me that way once."

"Doubt that," Bucky answered, charging forward. He saw the look of confusion in Steve's eyes, leaving him vulnerable to attack. He hooked his arm beneath Steve's and wrapped his leg around to twist his friend into a position that he couldn't hold, the pain of tearing muscles crumpling him to the floor.

"Hey, dirty play. I was distracted," Steve hissed, tapping Bucky on the shoulder to end the spar. It was only a few seconds, but he could already feel his body beginning to repair the injury left behind. Even so, he stayed on the floor to think about his next method of attack under the guise of pain. "What do you mean, you doubt that?"

"A little birdie told me that she's got the hots for ya."

"A little birdie? Was its name Natasha, by chance?"

"I can't reveal my sources," Bucky shrugged. He offered a hand to Steve to help him up, only to have it swatted away and refused. "Sorry about the leg, I guess I thought you could handle it. Must be gettin' soft in your old age."

"We're the same age, Buck, don't be a jerk."

"Clearly, I wear it better."

The playful banter had left the two so occupied that neither of them had heard you enter the gym, and it wasn't until you quietly cleared your throat to get their attention that they finally stopped to look at you. You decided it best to hold position by the door, with a decent amount of space between you, and ample time to make a run for it if you chickened out on your impulsive plan.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Steve began first, "what's up?"

"We were just talking about you-" Bucky added, but you quickly cut him off. You felt your resolve begin to wane, and you had to move fast.

"Buck, I was wondering...do you...have plans for dinner tonight?"

Bucky's eyes widened and he turned back to look at Steve for guidance, but his friend was much the same and in complete shock. "Guess that answers our question," he whispered, before turning back to you with a hard swallow to clear his nerves. "Well, um...I suppose I do now. What you have in mind?"

"I'll swing by your room to pick you up around 7? And Steve," you smiled, glancing at him over Bucky's shoulder, "I'll need you on Romanoff duty."

"How's that?"

"Just find a way to keep her occupied until we're out of the building."

Bucky laughed openly at this, and at first you thought it was maybe because no one could really stop him from doing anything that he wanted, but when he turned to Steve, it was nothing of the sort. "Alright, old man, we'd better get back to work. We're gonna need to toughen you up if you're taking on Natasha."

Part 4

As the clock ticked closer and closer to 7pm, Bucky felt a strange swing in emotions happening within him, for what he could only describe as nerves, though it was a rare occurrence for him to experience them. He internally berated himself for taking on a characteristic that he'd call one of Steve's; that kid was the one to get antsy around girls, not Bucky Barnes. That was completely unheard of, and even as this new version of that person, he was sure that his confidence would have held despite all that had happened. Maybe it was who he was about to keep company with that had tipped the scales, or maybe it was that he hadn't been given the attentions of someone like you before, and he was honestly confused by why now.

Bucky looked down at his chosen attire, a white button down that could pass for having been ironed, even though it hadn't been, a pair of his best jeans, and shoes that he had to steal from Rogers to have anything passable. As he inspected his hands, he made note that he had never really cared what they looked like before; the left was obviously never meant to touch anyone that he cared about, and the right was rugged and calloused, with nails that were jagged in places and there was dirt under them from an earlier spar with Sam in the main yard. He had no reason to care about it, at least not on any normal day, but now he was appalled by his upkeep when there was a chance that this hand might be given the chance to hold yours. This hand might know the touch of your skin against it, and he dared not take advantage of an opportunity like that when it could cost him the chance at ever having it again. He hurried to his bathroom to find anything that might help, but he didn't make it far before you were knocking at his door for your date.

"Just a minute," he called to you, digging frantically in one of the small cabinets. Items flipped around and through his fingers, coming up with a broken comb, a half-gone tube of toothpaste, a few hair ties, and finally a small bottle of lotion that he had no recollection of buying. "Hmm," he grimaced, taking a quick smell of its scent before just giving in and using it, slathering his skin so eagerly that he had taken way too much. "Shiiiiit. Shit, shit, shit..." he muttered as he turned to find a towel, only to give up and run his hands along his thighs to clean the excess away before rushing to the door.

"Hey, (Y/N)," he greeted hastily, "sorry I made you wait. Wow...you look great."

"Hey, Bucky, thanks. So do you," you smiled back, but something was off that you couldn't quite place. Something was throwing your senses off, so you took a tiny step closer to him, taking in a quiet breath at a scent that began to grow with the proximity. "Are you wearing...perfume?"

"No!"

"It's not...bad," you clarified, still trying to pinpoint it, "it's just...it's different."

Bucky thought back over his every move, certain that he hadn't put on any cologne, because first off, he didn't own any. He was about to reiterate that when he paused, closing his eyes and turning away just slightly to raise his hands to his face for just a second. "Uh...yeah, I think it's this lotion that I just put on."

"Let me check," you offered, taking his reluctant hand. "Yep, that's it," you confirmed, "but if you didn't know that's what it was, where did you get it?"

"It was in the bathroom cabinet."

"Oh, Buck," you smiled, "this was Nat's room before she moved to the one she's in now. She must have forgotten a few things."

"That's just great," he groaned, "is it obvious?" He didn't wait for your reply, instead leaving you at the door while he hurried back to the bathroom to retrieve the bottle, coming back with it held out for you to inspect. "It was this one."

You took the small, plain bottle from his hands, turning it over in your own a few times as you read the label to find the scent. "Ah, here we go...hmm, the name doesn't really give it away."

"I don't know, it seems pretty unisex for a scent, don't you think? It could work on a fella too, right?" Bucky looked at you with hopeful eyes, just wanting this awkward exchange to go away and be forgotten. He also wanted to get outside as quickly as possible to get this stench to air out.

"Were you hoping to smell sexually ambiguous?"

"No, n-not really. I was just wanting to make my hand a little softer for you, honestly. You know, in case I got the chance to hold yours...if things get to going well. I've gotta say, after this strong start that I've made, I'm not feeling too great about my odds."

For a man with such a dark aura and a past that you weren't supposed to know about, he sure seemed like a gentle, unsure, and maybe a little shy kind of guy. He was looking down at his hands, and the smile that he had been holding began to drop; he tried to tuck the metal hand away and behind his back, but you caught on to what he was doing right away and reached out to take it, much to his horror. "Don't worry," you smiled genuinely, "I think that your odds are really good." You intertwined your fingers through his metal ones, and drew him out of the room to begin your date without any more distractions.

~~~

"So, is your sister gonna kick my ass for this? Does she know that we're going out?"

"Nope," you said, "as far as I know, we should be free and clear. Steve promised that he'd stand guard until we cleared the grounds, so as long as he keeps his word-"

"(Y/N)!"

You closed your eyes and let out a long groan, knowing that the tone of voice echoing around you could only mean one thing. When you turned to see the incompetent doofus running towards you, his face gave it away without having to say a word. "Dammit, Rogers."

"I'm sorry, (Y/N), I really am," he panted. "she's got this way of talking around a conversation to get the information she wants and she had me cornered. But I think I convinced her to trust you...maybe."

"Maybe?"

You felt a pinch in your hand as Bucky's tightened around it, and you heard him take in a deep, sharp breath when he looked over your shoulder at the Russian terror coming your way. "Hey, (Y/N), I think we should move a little faster."

"Steve, do your job!" you commanded, pointing at Natasha and turning to run the other way. Her aura was normally a lovely shade of pink, which she hated, but now it was a muddy, angry, deep red that paled the vibrancy of her hair in comparison. It wasn't that you were scared of her in any way, because you never were, but Bucky's hand was still tightly gripping yours, and your sense of protection kicked in. "Come on, Buck, I hear that you super soldier types can run pretty fast."

"You're darn right we can," he finally chuckled, reaching down to swing his arm under your legs and scooping you up against him. You let out an uncontrollable yelp at the surprise, and your laughter finally let go along with his at the sound of your sister cursing in her lost effort to catch you as he broke into a full sprint. "Oh, doll, we are in so much trouble."

~~~

Once the imminent promise of death by raging Natasha had passed, the two of you found yourselves at the site of your date, which wasn't that far away from the threat you had just escaped. Sam had set up a picnic for you on the far side of the lake from the compound so that you could have some privacy, but so that you were still nearby if either of you were needed for a mission at a moment's notice. He may not have been thrilled at the prospect of the two of you either, but he had no reason to put a stop to it; at least not until he found himself in Nat's murder radar too.

Bucky set you down onto your feet gently, but his hold on you didn't relax right away. He looked down at you and held your gaze for a moment, and it felt as if he were searching your soul for an answer as to why you were even here; why would you want to spend time with someone like him when you didn't know the full truth of who he was. He knew that you would run in any direction away once you could learn, so he extended the moment for as long as he could before it became uncomfortable and he let you go.

"So, Sam set all of this up for us?"

"Um, yeah," you sighed with a nervous clearing of your throat, "yeah, he offered to help, and since I didn't give us much time to make real plans, this is the best we could do."

"I think it's great."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," he smiled, "no reason to lie. Here," he paused, with a hand directing you, "let's sit down and get started."

"Right, sure," you nodded. As you both found a comfortable spot, you set up the meal that Sam had delivered in, but it was strange how you had completely lost your appetite. It might have been the nervous energy of a first date, or it might have been a residual fear from that look in Nat's eyes as she tried to chase you, but whatever it was, you wanted to get to the bottom of it and make it go away. After the longest, uncomfortable silence, with food pushed around and barely eaten, you finally worked up just enough courage to ask the question that you needed the answer to before this could go any further. "Buck, can I ask you something? It's...it's kinda personal."

"Sure," he answered questioningly, setting his drink down to prepare. "I'm all yours. Shoot."

"M'kay," you answered, taking a deep breath to ready yourself. "You know that I can sense auras, right? They told you?"

"Yeah, when Steve gave me the report of everyone's powers and skills. That stupid Avengers manual that he wrote is a bore and a half, gotta say."

"Totally. So, anyway," you continued, "when I first saw you, your aura confused me. It's a mixture of colors, but they were all muddled and overridden with black. Black auras aren't exactly...good."

Bucky stayed silent for a few solid minutes after that, his gaze dropped quickly to the ground that held him, but you could see his eyes moving as if they were searching his mind for words that would satisfy what you were asking of him. He had barely understood it for himself; he knew what he had done and why he had done it, but he didn't know why the aura would continue to show it even now after he had made good changes to his life and to who he was. "Natasha told you to stay away from me for a reason, (Y/N). Did she ever tell you why? Anything?"

"No..."

"It's because I was the Winter Soldier. I was a Hydra assassin for decades. I've killed more people than I care to say, but it wasn't because I wanted to. I still did it all, though, because I was brainwashed into a monster who couldn't be stopped."

Now, you were the one who sat in complete silence, listening as he went on about those years, with just enough details to make his point but not so much as to make you run. He didn't want to scare you away, but he knew that it was a real possibility now, and it was a look in his eyes that you couldn't mistake. "I can see why my sister would want to protect me from that."

"Yeah...so, then...maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe she's right."

"I almost killed Cap once," you blurted out, even before your mind could register the words.

"I'm sorry?"

"I can manipulate auras and shift energies until I take it all for myself if I want to," you explained softly, "and he got in the crossfire. I couldn't release him, and it nearly killed him. It was the worst day of my life, and when I think about it, I can still feel that guilt like it was only a few minutes ago."

"(Y/N), that wasn't your fault."

"I appreciate that, but you weren't there."

"I didn't need to be," he continued, pushing forward to take your hand once again. "I know that you'd never do something like that on purpose. There's no way that someone like you could, okay? You're a good person."

"You really believe that?"

"Hell, yeah I do," Bucky answered emphatically, his gaze locked on yours with a pleading for you to agree.

"So, you'll understand when I say that you didn't do any of those things on purpose. That it wasn't your fault, and someone like you could never do that. That you're a good person, too. Sounds familiar, right?"

Bucky opened his mouth to argue, to give the customary answer that he had given Steve for far too long, and he stopped; he couldn't bring himself to say those words to you, not when you were being so comforting and accepting of him when you barely knew him. The rest of the team had been doing their best to forgive and forget, particularly Stark, but you were offering him neither; you were accepting without question and he wasn't sure how to take it. You were looking at him like he was important to you; like his feelings were important, and in a way that he had never truly experienced before. A fire began to build in the pit of his stomach, growing and spreading furiously into his chest, and he knew then and there that he couldn't risk never seeing this again.

"Buck?"

"I...I need," he paused, trying to breathe through the lump of emotions in his throat, "I need to talk to your sister."

"My sister? Why?"

"Because all of the sudden, (Y/N)...I'm not so scared of her anymore."