CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Life Of Distraught And Chaos
multiple dates!

— February 8th, 1981

Daphne felt lonely. There was no other way to describe it–Daphne was completely and utterly alone. No one to call hers, no one to call family, no one to call friends. She tried her best to go see Sirius and Remus whenever he was back in London. Sometimes, she visited her mother–but she tried to go there a lot more now that her father had fallen ill. On her good days, she allowed herself to go see Narcissa and Draco or the Tonks where she tried her best to smile and feel at ease.

After Fabian's death, everything felt surreal for a while. Like a bad dream. She prayed to wake up at night and see Fabian by her side but none of her prayers worked, and she kept waking up to a cold empty bed. Daphne had forgotten how to laugh and smile properly, even if she tried, it would look or sound fake so she stopped trying.

To her knowledge, James and Lily were still hiding. Harry was doing well and was spoiled by Sirius whenever he got the chance to send them something or visit them the few times Moody allowed him.

"How has it been a year?" Amalthea commented, her eyes stuck on the gravestone.

Daphne shrugged, fidgeting with her engagement ring, "I–It doesn't feel like it," she replied, holding back the tears. "I miss him."

"I do too, darling," her mum answered, letting out a sigh. "You should visit us sometimes, we miss you."

Daphne nodded, refusing to look at her for now, "I know. I'll try my best to visit soon, alright?"

"Yes."

"How is dad?"

It seemed that Daphne had pulled a sensible string as Amalthea gasped softly, "He's...well, sick. The healers are not much of a help," she explained. "If I'm being honest, they're just here to make your father live a little longer."

"So, he's leaving us soon?"

"I fear so, yes."

"Fabulous," she snorted sarcastically. "This is just–"

"My love," Amalthea cooed, taking a step closer to her daughter. "I know it is complicated but–"

"Mum, I don't want him to leave either."

Despite her hatred for her father, he was her dad and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to him yet. Sure, she didn't like him for making Evan take the mark but she didn't want him to leave. Daphne had been surrounded by death and she had no idea if she would be able to take it again if it happened.

"I know, love," she replied, reaching for her shoulder. Wordlessly, Daphne turned on her heels and hugged her mum tightly as Amalthea happily wrapped her arms around her. "Everything will be alright, yes?"

"Yes."

After that, Daphne stayed a bit at Evan's grave as she talked to him about everything that had happened since his death. She stayed there until it was too dark to see around and left.

— July 14th, 1981

"Oh come on, Daph," Sirius nudged her softly, giving her a smile. "Have a drink!"

"I'm not in the mood for it," she answered, pushing the glass away. "Is Remus coming?"

Sirius nodded, "He should be, yeah," he replied, resting his head on his hand. "Is everything okay, Daffy?"

Daphne shrugged, "Not really, I don't know," she answered truthfully. "Am I cursed?"

Sirius frowned, looking at her for a second before answering, "Why would you say that?"

"Everyone around me dies and maybe it is because I am cursed," she muttered, burying her head into her hands. "Two years ago, I was celebrating my eighteenth birthday with Evan and my friends. Now there is no one left and I'm just alone in this."

"But you're not," he said.

Before she could answer, a hand landed on her shoulder as she turned her head to see Remus in his shabby clothes. He wore a smile, a large one too and she felt herself smiling too. Ignoring the tears, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into his chest. In a year, she realised how good of a hugger Remus was. Remus gave Sirius a questioning look but Sirius gave him an unsure shrug.

"Hello, Daphne," he said, pulling away but keeping his hand on her shoulder. "How have you been?"

"Miserable," she finally admitted. "Have a drink with us?"

"Sure," he said, leaving her side to greet Sirius with a kiss. "Happy birthday, Daph!" He exclaimed, raising his drink so they could toast.

Daphne had spent her birthday with friends–more like family now but she had a good time. It was probably the first time since Fabian's death that she tried to get loose and actually enjoy her life. When she got home, a cake was on the table with the numbers '2' and '1', a smile graced her features as she realised Tilly had made it. But as she got closer, her smile widened because she could see some of her mum in it. Before bed, she cut herself a piece and enjoyed it.

It had been a good birthday.

— September 2nd, 1981

Daphne had never wanted to kill a man more than today. The urge of pointing her wand at him was itching and she couldn't bring herself to look at him nor listen to him. The Order meetings were always a bit hard on her mentally considering Alastor Moody was the one talking and taking decisions.

Every time she saw his face, she couldn't help but chuckle a bit because of his eye patch. He had whined about it for five minutes after the Battle of the Ministry and she reckoned Evan had been the one hitting his eye with his curse, which brought her satisfaction somehow.

If it were up to her, Alastor Moody would have been dead as soon as he threw the curse but she couldn't bring herself to cast the curse. Perhaps because she was not a killer and it never brought her satisfaction to end a man's life. Besides, her mum had always told her that it was never good to act on revenge.

"Rosier, are you even listening?" Moody muttered, his eye staring directly at her.

She shook her head truthfully, "No."

Sirius, behind her, snorted but stopped as soon as Moody's eyes set on him. Daphne could never be too thankful for Sirius. He had been there for her from the very beginning and she was forever grateful for him. Remus, too.

"Talking of you," he said, pointing at Daphne. "Have you heard anything interesting lately?"

"I wish I could say yes but no, nothing."

And it was true. The meetings were rare since the battle but she suspected Lucius to have talked with Voldemort saying she wasn't able to attend properly. There were rumours going around that said that Daphne wasn't mentally okay because of Evan and Fabian's death.

"Right."

Sirius leaned down, close to her ears, "Have you attended a meeting lately?" Daphne simply shook her head as he hummed. "Is he annoying? We can always walk out of here if you need to."

"Yes, please," she whispered back as he grabbed her hand and led her out of there, ignoring Moody's calls. As soon as she stepped outside, she released a sigh of relief and closed her eyes. Reaching for the metal box in her coat, she grabbed a cigarette and lit one. "I shouldn't even be smoking."

"Why?" Sirius asked, taking the cigarette she offered him. "Is it because of Aunt Amalthea?"

Daphne snorted, "No, she doesn't care much. I'm pretty sure she smokes in secret too."

"Evan's influence."

"Probably," she replied, taking a drag of it. "I had stopped smoking while I was with Fabian," she admitted, blowing the smoke in the air. "I just didn't feel the need to and now–now all I want to do is smoke whenever the situation gets too stressful."

"Well, how about we stop smoking together, eh?" He proposed, nudging her side as she let out a laugh. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you would never be able to not smoke," she snorted.

Sirius sighed, "You're right but I would do it for you," he told her, blowing the smoke away.

Daphne smiled at that. There were simple words and probably words thrown in the wind but they meant a lot to her. Instead of teasing him again, she nodded her head and agreed to stop smoking along with her cousin.

— October 31st, 1981

It had been a while but Daphne finally found herself sitting at this table that she hated so but for some reason, she had been allowed to come back here and be part of that important meeting whatsoever. Her eyes scanned the room, no one she had never seen before, they were all familiar–some closer than others.

The atmosphere hadn't changed a bit. In fact, it felt as if people were even more enthusiastic at the idea of pleasing the Dark Lord than before. She could hear some mumbles–some were talking about an upcoming victory from their side and others shared the news they had read in the Daily Prophet.

As usual, as soon as he walked in, the room fell silent and everyone straightened their postures. Daphne, on her side, looked down at her hand where her engagement ring was. Many people had told–well, more like advised her to take it off so she could move on faster but to be completely honest, she didn't feel like moving on at all.

The Dark Lord started stating facts that had happened recently and made sure to hear what everyone had to say. As he reached her, she felt her palms get sweaty and her heart pace quickening. A soft, almost happy sigh escaped his lips at her sight.

"Daphne, you have returned," he commented as Daphne looked up at him.

"My Lord," she said, bowing her head and keeping her voice steady.

He hummed in satisfaction, "Very well. I have asked for a meeting because we have finally found a way to strike Dumbledore's army–to end this War and to win it," a few murmurs echoed through the dimly lit room but quickly stopped as he went on. "A few months ago, I heard of a prophecy about a child born on the seventh month could end the terror. End this war."

Daphne's heart fell to her stomach as she realised what he was talking about. The prophecy that she had heard a year ago in James and Lily's living room, the prophecy that targeted Harry Potter. The sweet boy with dark hair and Lily's eyes. Perhaps it was selfish but she hoped to hear of the Longbottoms instead of the Potters.

"Two children were born in the seventh month–" he said. "Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter."

Daphne had one wish; to disappear. She wanted to turn small and escape this place where evil and chaos reigned. As he spoke, his words became a blur and she didn't understand half of it by the time he was done. He disposed of everyone and Daphne left, feeling useless. What he had said was vital information and yet she hadn't been able to catch a thing and she knew that she would hate herself if something happened.

Daphne was the last to reach the chimney to use the floo and once again, a familiar voice caught her ear. It was the same voice as last time, the one she thought was Peter Pettigrew. Quietly, she made her way back to the meeting room but stayed behind the door, her ear glued to the wooden door.

"My Lord," the familiar voice stammered, his voice filled with a mix of terror and trepidation. "I...I have done as you asked."

"Wormtail," he hissed, his voice filled with cold satisfaction. Daphne thought hard as she tried to remember where she had heard this nickname before then it clicked–Peter was Wormtail. "You have proven yourself useful. Your loyalty has not gone unnoticed."

"Thank you, my Lord. It is an honour to serve you."

"Now, be useful again and wait at Godric's Hollow until my arrival."

Daphne was going to be sick. Hurrying herself to the floo, she mumbled a few anxious words and stumbled in Sirius's living room but surprisingly, no one was home. She pondered going to Hogwarts so she could tell Dumbledore what was going to happen but she noticed how the sky turned black, and she focused hard to send him a patronus. After a moment, she decided to send one to Sirius as well.

If Fabian was there, he would have been much more heroic than she was right now. Daphne had no idea where to Apparate, all she had heard was Godric Hollow and she couldn't even find it on a map. But she tried anyway and thought hard of that little village.

Her heart raced with a mixture of dread and determination as she apparated into the desolate streets of Godric's Hollow. The chill of the night air bit at her skin as she noticed she had forgotten about putting more layers on herself. A sense of foreboding settled upon her shoulders as she knew the dangers that awaited her, but somehow her love for the couple compelled her forward.

Daphne hastened through the streets, her steps echoing through the quiet night as her eyes scanned the houses that all looked the same. Then, she looked up and gasped as she noticed the mark in the sky. Her breath caught in her throat as she approached the house, the wreckage of a life shattered before her eyes. The door had been forced and she pushed it gently, grimacing as the door creaked throughout the house.

Making her way upstairs, she understood that someone had fought and fought hard. There were pieces of wood shattered everywhere and there, in the dimly lit room, James Potter was knelt beside the lifeless body of Lily. His face etched with grief as he held her head carefully, his finger brushing the same lock of hair every single time.

Daphne's hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob, her heart breaking as she spotted Harry, nestled in a crib nearby. His cries were a haunting echo of the tragedy that had unfolded. Voldemort had come and gone, leaving a wake of destruction in his path.

She approached James, her voice trembling as she caught the moment he realised she was standing there, "James, I–" she paused, suppressing another sob. "I'm sorry. Are you alright?"

James looked up, his eyes filled with tears, "I–I just left to get the newspaper because Lily loves it and–"

Daphne's heart ached as she reached out to touch James's shoulder, offering a meagre comfort in the face of overwhelming sorrow. She knew there were no words that could help him but after all that she had gone through, Daphne had learnt that a comforting presence served as a balm.

"I'm going to get Harry, alright?" He didn't say a thing but she assumed it was alright. Daphne did her best to not look at Lily's lifeless body, knowing it would bring her to her knees. Instead, she held Harry close to her, rocking him back and forth. "Hello, you."

Harry finally stopped crying as he offered a gentle smile. Daphne ran her hand through his hair, noticing the scar, "James, did Harry use to have a scar?" James shook his head as she slowly came to the realisation of what had happened. "Salazar."

Soon, a motorbike was heard and she knew Sirius would most likely run into the house, shouting their names so she walked downstairs and met her cousin, "Daphne, what happened?"

"Sirius...Lily's dead. I think Voldemort's curse reverberated on Harry and killed him," she whispered quietly. "I know who did it."

"Who?" He snapped out of his trance, ignoring the tears in his eyes and looked at his cousin as he waited for an answer.

Daphne bit her lip down, "It was Peter. I heard him today at the meeting, Voldemort called him Wormtail. He should not be far."

Everything seemed to click in Sirius's mind and he let out a shout of frustration, "Daph, can you stay here and watch these two, please? I'll be back soon," he pleaded, running to the other side of the village.

As Daphne waited for Dumbledore's arrival, she stayed next to James, in hope to make him feel less alone. Harry had fallen asleep in her arms while James hadn't looked away from his deceased wife once. If only Daphne could turn back in time and change everything, she would but sadly she was doomed to a life of distraught and chaos.

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authors note, so... this is the last sad chapter, I SWEAR
but i hate it so so so bad :/ i feel like it's such a bad chapter