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    KAELYN HAD ONLY tackled Peter for a second before, in a blur, they had teleported, and Kaelyn found herself back at their tree. Peter shoved her grip off him, Kaelyn stumbling, feeling her heart constrict as she tried to heave in through her tight throat. She whipped around to stare at Peter, eyes blazing.

    "What did you do?" she seethed, hands already alight with indigo.

    "I had to," Peter responded.

    Kaelyn chucked an orb of energy at him, the boy dodging with ease. "You said that the last time!" she snapped.

    "I'll die without it," Peter retorted, looking exasperated.

    "And whose fault is that?" Kaelyn spat back.

    The words were so harsh that Peter paused, face falling slightly, and Kaelyn remained still, waiting for what he had to say to defend himself. He blinked at her, swallowing thickly, adam's apple bobbing, as Kaelyn waited in simmering rage.

    "You left me," Peter murmured, finally. Kaelyn furrowed her brows at the direction he was going. "You promised to never do that," he added.

    "After you hurt me," Kaelyn retorted viciously.

    "Touché," Peter said, with a hapless chuckle. "Why?"

    "Because you took advantage of me and syphoned my power for years for yourself," Kaelyn hissed, offended by how obvious the answer should have been.

    "It was for us," he said.

    "Neverland was for us," Kaelyn said, eyes wide, as she held her arms open to the view of the trees. "All of this was for us. Was that not enough?" At Peter's lack of an answer, she narrowed her eyes, shoulders slumping. "It wasn't, was it? And you didn't trust me to control Neverland alone."

    "Neverland is mine," Peter said, firmly.

    "You're wrong. You stole it. It has always listened to me," Kaelyn snapped back, before holding a finger to him. "And you? Your power comes from me, from Neverland. And it's dying. The only thing keeping it alive is the remainder of my power. When that runs out, it dies, and you with it."

    Peter's eyes went cold. "You knew."

    "When I left? Yeah, I knew. And I didn't care," Kaelyn said, fiercely. "All people had ever done was use me, take advantage of a power I was taught to fear. I thought you were different, I thought you loved me for me, and I could trust you. You were the one person I shouldn't have had to worry about... but you're just like everyone else, but so much worse. Hiding your manipulation behind pretty words, false smiles and love."

    "That wasn't an act," Peter denied.

    Kaelyn shook her head. "If you loved me, you never would've done that to me. You would've trusted me and let me have control. Neverland is sick because of you, and you're dying. Not because I left, but because you left me no choice to stay. This isn't my fault, no matter what you say or what everyone else is told and believes. This is your fault. You brought this on yourself."

    "It wasn't about trust," Peter finally snapped, anger getting the best of him. Kaelyn paused, looking at his uncharacteristic outburst in fascination, before the boy let out a heavy breath. "It was about control."

    Kaelyn blinked numbly at him. "Control?"

    "I need control." Beside him, his fists had clenched.

    Kaelyn looked at him, warily. "Why?"

    "Because I fucked up once," he admitted, and Kaelyn frowned. She had never heard him this vulnerable, not since they were kids. And that alone told her this wasn't an act. "And I felt... powerless. I never wanted to feel like that again," he added, and Kaelyn blinked at the guilt in his tone.

    "When?" she asked, but she already had a pretty good idea. But Peter remained silent, and Kaelyn, frustrated, stepped up to him. "Is that it? After all these years, that's the only explanation I get?"

    "When I lost all our money to gamble," Peter snapped, meeting her eyes, their faces now close. Kaelyn tilted her head, feeling heavy at the memory. It had been so long ago, but so pivotal in what had happened. It had haunted her for years, but she knew it haunted him more.

    But Peter continued, practically spitting his words. "When I left us with no control, no power, nothing. It caused all our problems and if it wasn't for me there'd probably still be three of us. Because I lost it. And then I got a chance... with Neverland. I tasted a power and control I didn't think was possible... and I had to have it."

    Kaelyn's face twisted as she worked to understand him. To understand why all those years ago he had made the decision he had.

    "That's it?" Kaelyn said in disbelief after a few moments of processing. "Your unresolved trauma is the reason for all of mine?"

    "I'm sorry," Peter said. "I never wanted to hurt you."

    Kaelyn pulled away from him, debating just running, as she eyed the jungle. Still weak from her voodoo spell, her magic wouldn't be of help, not with Peter being rejuvenated by the heart. But maybe he would just let her go? But then Henry would definitely die.

    The brunette wanted to scream, maybe hit something, anything to release the storm inside of her. After years of torment and agonising over his motives and questions she had for him, she had her answers, her closure. She had the explanation but somehow it only made her feel worse.

    She felt him behind her, standing a breadth away from touching her, hovering there, as she fought the inner battle of fleeing or staying.

    "Fuck," Kaelyn spat. "You've really done it this time." She finally turned to him, lips turned town. "Why didn't you just fucking talk to me? Why did it have to get this far?"

    "Because you left, I could never talk to you and ever since you got back all we've done was fight," Peter told her. "I didn't exactly get a chance."

    "Shut up," Kaelyn snipped, knowing he was half-right. "I never wanted to leave," she admitted. In that moment, it looked like a weight had been lifted off Peter's chest, as if her words were something he had been waiting for. "But you left me no choice," she added, eyes drifting.

    "I know," Peter muttered. "You had every right to leave."

    Kaelyn blinked at him. "Thank you."

    Peter just shook his head. "But I shouldn't have. I chose power and control over you."

    "You did," Kaelyn said, simply. "And now it's driven you to kill Henry."

    "I'll die if he doesn't," Peter repeated.

    Kaelyn shook her head, feeling torn in two directions. "That's not fair."

    "Nothing ever is," Peter chuckled bitterly, before hesitantly reaching up a hand, trailing his fingers down her cheek before coming to cup her face.

    "You can't make me choose," she said, throat tight.

    "I'm sorry," he murmured, using the edge of his other cuff to wipe at the trail of blood from her nose.

    And in that moment, all Kaelyn wanted to do was forgive him. Hug him. Hold his hand. Continue to talk about everything. She wanted to understand him, the way she had made him understand her.

    She didn't want him to die. But she didn't want Henry to die, either. There was no choice she could make. It was one or the other, black and white. Damn Peter and his choices and what they had done to both of them. Damn Henry for being too pure it made him a target.

    Peter's hand slipped from her face, and Kaelyn looked at him, as if in mourning. And he looked back, as if they were seeing each other for the first time.

    Acceptance wasn't so easy.

    Peter suddenly tensed, head snapping towards the jungle. "Someone's here," he breathed, before pulling them out of sight, taking a firm hold of Kaelyn's forearm. He placed a finger to her lips as someone arrived at the tree, Kaelyn sending him a glare at the assumption she'd be loud.

    "Look," came Mary Margaret's voice.

    "Careful." That was Regina. "Pan wouldn't have just left it behind for no reason."

    Before much else could be said, Kaelyn heard yells and a struggle, seeing the vines around them move of their own accord, and figured what had happened. Peter looked down at her, before moving and appearing from behind the tree to confront the group of rescuers.

    "Are you still at it? Don't you know? Peter Pan never fails," the boy said, playfully. "I didn't expect you to find me. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. You're mothers. Quite tenacious about your children. But, if you're looking to see Henry again... I have bad news."

    Henry.

    Kaelyn looked at her feet. If the three women were here that meant something could be done for Henry. They wouldn't make such a bold move if there wasn't some sort of hope. But Kaelyn figured it meant getting the heart back, inevitably killing Peter. But Henry was likely only being preserved by a spell until he got his heart again.

    "What did you do to Kaelyn?" Regina demanded.

    "Nothing. She's quite alright," Peter told them.

    "Where is she?" Emma's accusatory tone apparently never left whenever she talked about the immortal teenager.

    Swallowing thickly, Kaelyn finally appeared, and the three women looked at her in desperation as she stepped out from behind the tree, slightly behind Peter as he restrained them with vines against the trunk.

    "Kaelyn, do something!" Emma cried.

    But Kaelyn could only stand there, a few steps behind Peter, heart at war. She didn't want either one to die. But if Peter had the heart for much longer, Henry would. But if she took it back, Peter would eventually fade out. But Henry didn't have time for choices and conflict.

    Peter glanced at her, looking almost smug, but she ignored him, fists clenched at her side. The blonde boy turned away from her, stepping forward, likely to continue his villain speech, before Kaelyn acted on impulse, panic and desperation.

    Peter froze, feeling the magical hand in his back, fingers clutching around Henry's heart. The three women at the tree looked at her in shock, but she ignored them, staring at the back of Peter's neck.

    "Back up, slowly," Kaelyn instructed, feeling her own heart constrict.

    "Kaelyn–"

    "Do it," she cut him off, having to remain resolute for the sake of the two people she wanted to save. Peter did, putting space between the pair and Emma's group, who were still restrained; Kaelyn moving with him to avoid breaking the connection.

    "Get us out!" Emma demanded. Kaelyn shot her a glare.

    "Not yet," Kaelyn hissed, and Emma looked offended. "If I do this, you take me with you– Oh, don't give me that look. I know you planned to leave me here, as always."

    "We didn't," Mary Margaret insisted.

    "Shut up," Kaelyn snapped. "Make the promise."

    "We will. We'll take you home," Emma said, quickly.

    "Lovely," Kaelyn deadpanned.

    "If you do this–"

    "I'm not done with you yet," Kaelyn snapped at Peter. He was still tense from the magic inside of him, knees slightly bent and hands clenched at his sides.

    "Whose side are you on?" Mary Margaret cried.

    "My own. Always my own," Kaelyn said, coldly, before looking back at Peter's neck, as if he could see her. She leaned forward, "If I do this, I'll find a passive way to keep this island going. So you never have to sacrifice anything or anyone for immortality ever again."

    "You can't do that–"

    "I can let go right now and let him have you," Kaelyn snarled at Emma.

    "Is that even possible?" Peter asked, and Kaelyn didn't miss the slight hint of wonder in his tone. She had his interest.

    "It can be," she murmured, hoping he just took the deal. Henry couldn't wait. Peter had some time left in which she could figure something out. She couldn't choose between them, so she'd simply save them both.

    "Do I get a choice?" Peter asked after an agonising amount of silence.

    "Only an illusion of one," Kaelyn said, keeping the relief out of her voice. "You'll die without this heart, and contrary to popular belief, I'd rather not kill you. So don't be a bitch about it." She heard Peter scoff, before she told him, "Now, let them go."

    "I can't–"

    Kaelyn tugged, and Peter's whole body shook. "Don't," she warned. She could only imagine his face, as he raised a hand and the vines holding the three women retracted, and they all fell back down with varying amounts of stability.

    Mary Margaret ran for Pandora's Box and her arrows, Emma regained her sword, while Regina stepped up to Kaelyn and Peter.

    "Do it," Regina hissed.

    Kaelyn hid her frustration at having to hurt Peter, as she bit her cheek. She had to crush that part of her for now. She had to save Henry and stick to her end of the bargain. So she could save Peter. She could only hope that he would stick to his end, and leave them alone until Henry was safe.

    Kaelyn knew she'd probably have to stay back on Neverland, but she had resolved to do that the minute she had pierced Peter's chest.

    "This is gonna hurt," Kaelyn said against Peter's ear. He nodded once, and Kaelyn ripped the heart from him in one swift motion. Peter fell, incapacitated in the way everyone was when their heart was taken by force, letting out a hiss of pain as he hit the ground.

    Kaelyn could only look down at him, as she clutched the golden heart in her hand, giving Regina a hard look.

    Emma let out a quiet gasp as she stepped up, reaching forward. Nothing was said as Kaelyn handed Emma the heart, and then prepared to step away, maybe even safeguard Peter.

    Before Regina lunged.

    "Wait!"

    The sleeping spell overpowered Kaelyn's distracted senses, and before she knew it she was falling.

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    KAELYN WANTED to deck Regina when she awoke. The sound of a cannon had stirred her, and within seconds she had forced herself to process what was going on, pumping magic through her to usurp the sleeping spell cast on her. The bed she was on was moving, and she determined it was a ship, then figured it was the Jolly Roger.

    The last few moments before she had fallen into unconsciousness returned, and then anger, as Kaelyn forced herself out of the bed below deck, stumbling as she went, but regaining strength by the second.

    It was dark outside as she pushed herself above deck, pausing when she saw everything around her. Neverland was merely in the distance, the shore fading from view as they moved through the air, clouds tickling the air. All the heroes were present around the deck, but most jarring was the hoards of lost boys running around.

    "She's awake!" Hook shouted, earning an annoyed look from Kaelyn as she headed up the steps.

    Kaelyn slowly took in the ship, before someone came bounding towards her. "We're free! We're really free!"

    The brunette couldn't even manage a smile as Nibs, who hadn't aged a day since she had left, stopped in front of her, a bunch of hand-picked flowers from Neverland in his hands. He handed them to her, Kaelyn's shaky hands accepting them.

    We're free.

    Did that mean what she thought it did?

    Over Nibs' shoulder, Kaelyn saw Emma, and her eyes darkened. "I'll be right back," Kaelyn told the boy, still holding his flowers, before she went up to Emma, whose eyes widened as she approached.

    "What happened?" Kaelyn hissed.

    "We had to kidnap you," Emma insisted, immediately.

    Kaelyn laughed in exasperation. "Why?"

    "So, you wouldn't go back to Pan," Regina said, appearing next to them.

    Kaelyn looked at her bitterly, remembering the sleeping spell she had struck her with. "I made a deal with him," the immortal teenager snapped.

    "We couldn't let him get back to power," Regina retorted, firmly.

    "You broke–"

    "We brought you back, didn't we?" Regina said, matter-of-factly.

    "What about Peter's side of the deal?" Kaelyn pressed.

    "Your boyfriend snuck onto the ship and tried to cut out Henry's heart with a knife," Emma cut in. "We got him with Pandora's Box."

    Kaelyn blinked at her, before inwardly cursing Peter. Frustration pricked at her. She had had it all together, all arranged. If Regina hadn't knocked her out, would Peter have been held back? Or would he have done it anyway?

    She bit her tongue. At least he was still alive. She could figure something out when they got back to Storybrooke, though she assumed that they wouldn't tell her where the box was intentionally.

    Because he would die. And soon. He had been desperate. He had needed Henry's heart as soon as possible. Kaelyn recognised that. He was going to die and all Kaelyn could think about was how he had looked at her in those few moments before they'd been interrupted, how she had seen him.

    She had gone very still, eyes unfocused, as she tried to calm the storm of thoughts she was having. She had failed him.

    "Kaelyn?" Emma interjected, and the brunette snapped her gaze to her.

    "How're we moving?" she asked, tightly, trying to appear unbothered. Emma and Regina exchanged a brief glance.

    "Pan's shadow is in the sail," Regina answered. Kaelyn just nodded. "Henry's over there. He's been asking about you." Kaelyn looked where she was gesturing, seeing Henry standing on another level with Neal.

    She heaved in a breath. At least Henry was alive, she thought, as she padded over to him. Neal saw her first, coming to meet her on the stairs.

    "Hey," he greeted.

    Kaelyn blinked at him impassionately. "What?"

    Neal sighed. "I'm sorry," was all he said.

    Kaelyn just looked at him, wondering if she was being too cruel, before shaking it off. She walked past him without another word or a backward glance, lips turning up slightly as she saw Henry.

    "Good to see you, kid," Kaelyn said to him, hoping her smile wasn't too weak.

    "Kaelyn!" And then he hugged her tightly. Kaelyn froze for a second, before wrapping her arms around him slightly, wary of the flowers she was holding in one hand. "I'm sorry about how difficult–"

    "I'm just glad you're alive," Kaelyn cut him off as he pulled away from her.

    "Of course I am, you saved me," he insisted. Kaelyn blinked at him. She appreciated the kid's faith in her but there was no way Regina or Emma would have talked her up to him. "Are you okay?"

    "I'm fine," Kaelyn said, not really wanting to have a therapy session with the child she babysat. Henry's eyes drifted slightly, and she turned to see he was looking at Felix. He was the only lost boy tied up, and looked pale and sunken at his post. Kaelyn assumed he had stayed loyal to the very end.

    "I'm gonna get something to eat," Henry announced as he headed off, Kaelyn biting her tongue at the look Regina and Emma were giving her. She scowled to herself. After everything, they still doubted her affection for the boy, as if she hadn't risked everything to get him back.

    Kaelyn could only stay where she was, observing as Henry went to give Felix some food, remembering how golden his heart had been in her hands. All she had wanted was to protect him, stop him from going under the same way she had, and it frustrated her no one seemed to see it.

    Except Peter. Peter would've seen it. Except he wasn't here, after everything, he was doomed to rot in a box once the energy on Neverland finally waned, and there was nothing she could do about it.

    And Kaelyn finally turned away, watching the night sky blur past her, as she mourned someone who wasn't even dead.

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angst angst angst

pumping these chapters out so i can focus on other projects

only two chapters left!

give me motivation to finish them asap because they're both only like half written and i want this done by july lmao