The moon was reflected off the black waters of Hanagae Beach. A solitary walker walked along the moving line drawn by wavelets crashing into the cold sand. The rays of moon sadly radiate tears on the face of the walker. 

     But this walker would undoubtedly claim not to have cried when he returned home. After all, he had promised not to cry anymore.

     Jungkook still had Jin's text in mind. His loneliness. His pain. His tears. His deep despair. His plunge into darkness. 

     He had asked Namjoon to send him Jin's text so he could read it as many times as he needed. Even though it was just words on a screen, Jungkook was hearing Jin's voice leave the letters, cross the screen and reach both his ears and his heart. 

     A sad voice, on the same beat as the mourner song Jin had composed in a spurt during their last visit together to Hanagae Beach, when everything seemed to be going wrong already but they still found a way to smile at life because at least, they were together. 

     "Still, I stay with myself," Jin wrote. He remained alone in front of himself. Jin's depression was totally noticeable through that simple sentence and it squeezed Jungkook's heart to the point where he felt himself suffocating, drowning in Jin's whirlwind of pain.

     All because Jungkook had been unable to stand by his side as he had promised. He had surrendered, had abandoned his hyung to his demons who were devouring him. He was responsible for this suffering endured by Jin. 

     Instead of staying with him no matter what, he had let Lee settle permanently by his side. How could he have believed that this monster had made him happy again? Reading Jin's text, he was in a state of total despair after feeling totally alone, totally abandoned. 

     While Lee had left him alone for weeks, had he continued to hurt Jin in the shadows, making it look like they were having a good time together? Otherwise, how to explain this extreme moral suffering?

     The young singer dropped to the ground and let his fingers plow the cold sand. 

     There, he cried and screamed with all his might in front of this sea which had not known how to grant their wishes to both and in which Jin even seemed to have drowned until in the abyssal depths.

     "You're not alone with yourself, hyung," Jungkook sobbed, "I'm still with you. I will always be with you, so let me come back to your side... "

     So on this beach, facing that dark sea which seemed to have been filled by the continuous flow of his tears, he composed in one go, on his phone, a song for his hyung that he loved and needed so much, for his universe, for his moon which seemed so lonely and so sad and which he missed so much in his dark sky. 

     He wrote down what he felt:

That faint voice of yours that grazed me

Please call my name one more time

I'm standing still under the frozen light, but

I will walk towards you, step by step

Still with you

A pitch dark room

I shouldn't get used to it

But I'm used to it again

The low-pitched sound of the air conditioner

If I don't have this, I might just fall apart

We laugh together, we cry together

These simple feelings were everything I had

When will it be?

If I see you again

I will look into your eyes

And say, "I missed you"

In a rapturous memory

The rain pours even when I dance alone

By the time this mist clears

I'll run with my feet wet

So hug me then

The moon looks lonely

Like it's crying in the bright night sky

Even though I always know the morning will come

I want to stay in your sky like a star

Every day, every moment

If I knew this was gonna happen

I would have remembered more of them

When will it be?

If I see you again

I will look into your eyes

And say, "I missed you"

In a rapturous memory

The rain pours even when I dance alone

By the time this mist clears

I'll run with my feet wet

So hug me then

Behind the faint smile that looked at me

I will draw a beautiful purple shade

Though our footsteps may be out of step

I want to walk this path with you

Still with you.

     He revealed in that song everything he wanted to do and express to his hyung right now.

     Giving his hyung all the affection he needed to recover. Hug him and be hugged tightly back.

  So hug me then

     Finally looking him in the eye after all this time avoiding them and telling him how much he had missed him.

I will look into your eyes 

And say, "I missed you"

     To hear his affectionate nickname, JK, again from the mouth of the one he loved so much.      

Please call my name one more time.

     Explain to him that he should never have given up on him by letting himself sink into the darkness as well and getting used to that darkness instead of helping him reach the light. He should never get use to the absence of his hyung by his side. 

A pitch dark room 

I shouldn't get used to it

     From now on he would join the light and guide him towards him little by little, like a lighthouse in the dark night, like a star in his night.

  I'm standing still under the frozen light, but 

I will walk towards you, step by step.

     He wanted to rediscover the simple pleasures of his life before and appreciate them at their true value, while accepting the moments of suffering they would share without breaking their bond anymore. 

We laugh together, we cry together 

These simple feelings were everything I had 

 When will it be?

     He didn't want to see anymore his Jin, his moon looking so lonely and sad because it would make him sad too. 

The moon looks lonely

Like it's crying in the bright night sky

      He wanted to stand by his side, as the Evening Star is always found first alongside the moon in the night sky. 

Even though I always know the morning will come

I want to stay in your sky like a star.

     He didn't want to see that fake smile of barely concealed sadness anymore. He wanted to see his hyung's genuine smile and genuine joy again. He wanted to be the one to make him smile and draw happiness on his face. He wouldn't let Lee force Jin to draw a fake smile on his beautiful face anymore.

     Behind the faint smile that looked at me. 

I will draw a beautiful purple shade.

     Together, they would trace their footsteps again on the sands of Hanagae Beach, they would always walk together.

     Forever. 

     Every day, every moment.

     "Still with you" would be the title of his song for Jin.

     Yes, his moon would not be alone anymore because he would always be with his Jin.


_______________

Author's note : In 2020, Jin shares his song Abyss and JK releases Still with you. Coincidence? Maybe yes, maybe not! Maybe the one behind this "you" to which Jungkook is addressing is Jin and he is answering to his song with own song? I admit being totally dreaming ha ha! But it's perfect for my story ^^

I hope it will have made you want to listen to it again. Personally, I listened to it while I was writing this chapter similarly to the Silence chapter, I listened to Abyss on repeat when I was writing. =)

Oh, and I'm glad this is the fiftieth chapter of this book.