When will I feel trust?

when will I feel love?

when will I feel protected?

Is my life an endless lied?

I always hide my emotion

But is that really what I want?

I hated my self...

I hated my life

I hate ppl around me...

immature freaks

but what do I see my self as?

am I the freak for hiding my emotion?

why can't all this thought just stop for a moment?

what am I doing wrong?

I try to do everything I can

Why can't i understand?

Why the world so..

dark,

cold

and I see people around me cover in black clouds

but...

I believed that someone around me who are always care

and always listen to me and always be there is

near me but also far away...

I can talk...

but cant see...

can help

but cant protect

I always felt hopeless...

and the weight of depression

weight me down day by day...

what is love?

what is trust?

the trust of parents

the love of family and the care of teacher and friends?

I only see hated

my parents never home never have time to talk with me...

I hated my teacher when he yells at me while he does not understand my life...

I can only felt caring and trust in haven and shade and Vic...

they show me what trust really meant...

is really help lighten me

even though I having a bad day

but I know there are few people around me who are listening to me

who is caring for who I am

the person that is patience and kind heart and let me be who I am

even though they think am wield and evil

but in them,

i believed they think me as...

protective, and warm-hearted

my pains once caused by people around me...

now my pains are holding my friends and sibling trust

and I know they would do anything and everything to help carry the weight of pain with me...