Seeking Peace

The Maharishi's Academy of Transcendental Meditation in Rishikesh was remote and isolated, situated in the foothills of the Himalayas, 150 feet above the River Ganges, mountainous jungles surroundeding the other three sides.

After our long trip which also entailed a tyre change, we all thought we were upon the compound when the car screeched to a halt.

Jane, Maureen, Ringo and I all baulked when we saw what was next. Paul was better at keeping the grimace off his face. The only way to get to the others, and a cold refreshment and rest  was to negotiate a suspension bridge dangling over the mighty fast flowing river. The ferryboats that could have taken us, had all stopped for the day.

"Well that's a relief" Ringo said looking over Maureen's shoulder, nodding solemnly "No camels or elephants allowed!" A sign stating the fact was tacked up next to the entry to the rickety looking bridge.

"Let's go, I need a bath" Jane started off to lead the way but Paul wanted to be the brave gentleman so he led the way, behind the guide, of course, who grinned wide and stood waiting for us patiently.

By now I was feeling well under the weather. The heat and stifling humidity, the long flight and my current state of trying to remain sober, had me wound tighter than a spring. I could almost feel my blood boiling, I wanted, no needed, a drink stronger than water but there would be no relief, I had to break through the barrier and reach dry land.

Walking up the last few steps of the mountain side we were buzzing, some (me), more than others. All imaging the greeting party that would be waiting with drinks overflowing with ice, baths drawn, and more ice! All we ended up being met with was a straggly looking cat, three chickens and a peacock. Not one drink in sight.

Guided to the living quarters we got a good look at our surroundings. Six simple stone bungalows set in 2 groups of three flanked a rough dirt track. Once inside we found each bungalow had five self-contained rooms with 2 four poster beds. Toilets and showers were also available much to our delight but we were soon to find out hot water was scarce at times... that is if the pumps hadn't already broken down. Meaning no water at all as was the case currently! No bath!

We all were assigned a bed and I found I would be paired up with Pattie's younger sister, Jenny. The room was a bit stuffy so I opened another window, which overlooked the dense jungle, I shivered at the thought a big cat could be right there, looking at me hungrily.

Wandering back out of the rooms we regrouped and started off towards what was to be our dining room for the next few months. My palms itched, needing that drink.

Pattie ran up quickly and gave each one of us a big hug welcome and a lei made with the flowers from the garden.

"You're here, finally! George has been in deep meditation for 2 whole days and I've been so lonely! Sorry Jenny no offence"

"Jenny- Kasey or Kas, you're to be housemates! So good!" Pattie circled the group again clapping excitedly while we waited for the ok to go into the dining room, one of the wait staff having overturned a pot, the floor awash with lentil soup apparently.

The rest of the party emerged from the dining room and moved forward to greet and introduce all the new faces.

About sixty people of all walks of life started talking at once. Various accents mingling with ours – Swedish, American, German, Dutch. As well as the Beatles I could see a few familiar musical faces stood out -Donovan stood chatting to Mick Love of The Beach Boys, Mia Farrow flitted between them.

I glanced around and spotted another pathway, the sign said "River" with an arrow. The 'pathway' looked like it fell straight over the cliff the way the hill fell away.

I felt ill, it was so hot, my lips just needed a drink- water and liquor. I wandered away to the stone fence which over looked the river as snaked its way past. Wide, brown and swirling  Pattie and Jenny both reached my shoulder just as I flopped to the ground. I hadn't fainted but I felt like it. The heat and my trying to go dry, hand in hand, with a nauseating stomach and dizziness.

"Who is that girl that Pattie seems to know so well?" John was stood on the opposite side of the group, Paul standing with his back to him talking to Maureen and Jane, he turned slightly looking in the direction Johns cigarette and finger were pointing. "She's down now, there on the grass. Not looking too crash hot"

"Ummm, oh that's Kasey. You know Georges long-time friend. The birthday kiss girl remember. He said he was bringing her along as she had been, ummm, unwell"

"Unwell?"

"Don't say anything but she has been on the turps... A LOT and George is trying to dry her out and set her on her feet again" Paul was mumbling the news as John casually observed the scene. Paul was still talking, John all but ignoring him.

"What?" Finally John started listening again but too late to digest the information.

"I said don't say anything"

"You know me Macca big mouth and all" With that John strode through the crowd, people parting like he was Moses and the Red Sea.

"Paul, go get him back" Jane said through gritted teeth.

"Too late. Any way I think he could actually help her in his own 'John- like' way" Paul was thinking about John and his problems of late. His last girlfriend had left him high and dry.

****************

A gardener type person was lazing in the shade of a tree surrounded by his tropical oasis. Hibiscus, bougainvillea and other flowering plants boarded the entire area, palms scattered throughout. He stared, watching me sweating like a hot pink pig on the rocky ground. I felt like dry- retching and did, but nothing would come up. I felt like screaming.

"Ladies"

"John" Pattie looked up behind me and I could feel his eyes burning into my back. My brain seemed to be fried from everything of the last few days and weeks that had been tossed up at me, I bristled as Pattie bit her lip. Couldn't help it, I felt like I was losing control of myself. Strung like an rubber band. Tight. Wound so tight.

"Need any assistance?" John inquired breezily.

"No, we're all hokey-dory" Jenny patted me lightly on the back, I felt like clobbering her one. I was in a black mood, getting blacker by the second.

I pulled my hair and grit my teeth, I've never felt this before, surreal and out of body, I could feel booze calling like a siren.

"I wouldn't do that Jenny she is likely to duff you one" John said that with a grin in his speech, probably hoping that it would happen.

"Hey up, shift over Jen. Let me get her back to the room" And with that John had me in his arms striding off across the grass and down the road. I could see Pattie mentally trying to decide whether to run and follow him and me, or not. " Don't you dare kick me.... or hit me" John could feel my tension, see it. I had my hands in fists and was wanting to pummel him in a childish tantrum.

I was too incensed to realise we were already in a room "There you go" He dropped me heavily on a bed.

I opened my eyes "This. This isn't my room" I went to stand up as soon as John finished tossing me in a heap.

"Nope, it's my room and its more convenient for me to look after you here" John was sitting in the chair having a chug at his smoke calm as can be. I, on the other hand, jumped up and started to try and open the door, it was locked! I spun around to face him him.

"Open this door at once!!" Not stopping for a second, I started for the window but his were different, there were grills on them, securing the torn useless fly screens, it was shut tight. "I'll fucking scream. I'll. I'll ...." Turning about angrily John sat there with a bottle held out for me. He jiggled it a little. It looked full from the way he held it, I could sense the liquid sloshing inside.

"What is it?"

"Like hooch, moonshine, only tastier" John took a swig and by the way he contorted it had a kick.

"If you know why I'm here why are you tempting me with it? Are you evil? Mad? Do you want George to hate me?" I took the bottle but didn't open it. Sitting on the edge of the bed I studied it like it was a piece of art. John stood and flicked his stub out the window then joined me on the bed, stretching out behind me.

"Evil no. Naughty? Maybe a little" he smirked and I eyeballed him, he was very hard to read. "Just have a dram, a sip even, it'll knock the edge off your downer, luv" He sat up a little and took the top off the bottle the vapours swam out to meet my nose, burning slightly with the strength of the booze already. "One sip then you can rest"

"Will you tell George? He will kill me." I teared up and John pushed the bottle upwards placing it closer to my lips, tilting it I took a swig, a big swig.

"Holy shit! I didn't mean that much you silly little goat!" John basically ducked waiting for me to spray the contents of my mouth over him.

I kept my mouth closed and swallowed the fire, it burnt like hell but it hit my gut where I was hurting all day, warming it instantly while my head simultaneously dropped and tears fell, guilt washing over me. I was a shaking mess of emotion.

"Come here" John took the bottle and I laid down beside him he hugged me round my waist with one hand and pushed tears from my cheeks with the other. "NO one is going to believe you took that down like that, what a champion!" I started sobbing all over again he squeezed my waist "Shhh, shush try having a kip luv"

***************

I woke up, sitting up quickly.

I could hear voices, my surrounding were strange.

Where am I?

Oh, oh right, India.

I listened again.

"What the hell John. Why did you do that?!" Paul- his voice was a strained whisper just under the window outside.

"She needed it"

"She needs to get sober not have a swill every time she feels a little weird" Paul was pacing his bare feet kicking pebbles on the road. "George will have your hide if you hurt her"

"I won't 'hurt' her and George isn't coming out of that room for 3 days, by then she will be much better- I promise mummy" John opened the door "Go to bed Macca you can see her in the morning ok. Jenny brought her stuff over, she's alright"

"Don't touch her" Paul was further away now and I nearly didn't hear the words.

"Don't be daft, Macca"

John climbed back in the bed next to me. I was straight as a board "Heard that did ya?"

I nodded into the darkness turning to face him I put a hand around his waist, curled up beside him and fell straight back into a dreamless sleep.