"If "happy ever after" did exist,
I would still be holding you like this"
-Maroon 5

*****

What is the point of love if it also ends in tragedy?

They say one reason people live long lives is because of love. But why, then, does love sometimes lead to their downfall? For love, they’re willing to sacrifice everything—even their own lives.

They are blinding themselves, too consumed by their emotions. They’re unable to see the truth: that human life isn’t solely about love; it’s also about pain. A pain that will linger and haunt them forever.

"So you, what would you do for love?" I clamped my ears shut and closed my eyes when I heard our professor's voice in Creative Writing. Halos mag dikit na ang noo ko sa inis dahil hindi ako maka-focus sa activity na pinapagawa niya.

I'm currently staring at the sheet of paper we need to construct in order to see the entire picture. Lumingon ako sa mga classmates ko na nag-titinginan sa isa't isa na parang nagtuturuan kung sino ang gagawa.

I took a deep breath and pressed my hand to my heart as I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I looked at them again, their heads tilted to the side in confusion. Shaking my head at myself, I closed my eyes to relax and clear my mind before I began to piece together the puzzle.

Everyone in my group screamed in victory when I suddenly completed the puzzle. The image revealed a woman holding her heart, tears streaming down her face. It was strikingly evident that her heart was missing— at hawak-hawak niya ito.

I quickly stood up and ran to the front to approach Sir Belindo, who seemed to be drifting through the topic of his lesson. I cautiously sidled up next to Ethan, who had just finished introducing their group's work.

"Explain the picture you’ve created... and," he paused, "add something about love... be creative, and make a story about it."

Napangiwi ako sa narinig. Ito na ba ang nagiging dahilan ng pagtanda niya?

I closed my eyes and faced all my classmates. Not everyone was looking at me, as some were still busy piecing together their puzzles. Ang iba naman ay nagtatago sa ibaba ng lamesa nila na halatang naglalaro ng mobile games. Makikita mo rin sa gilid ang ibang babaeng nag re-retouch ng kanilang make up. That just proved our teacher wasn't a very engaging instructor. Everyone looked bored during his class.

I took a moment to calm myself in front of the class. I shouldn’t be nervous, yet I couldn’t understand the pounding of my heart, as if it was racing along with the noise of my classmates.

"Good day, everyone. Good day, Sir Belindo. This is the work of Group one," I showed them the picture that we got.

Some of them glanced at me, but as usual, not everyone was paying attention. Well, I understood them. Who would listen to someone talking about love when it seemed there was nothing to learn from it?

"Uh, well... as you can see, may isang babae rito na umiiyak habang hawak ang puso niya. Kung iintindihin nang mabuti. It looks like she's mourning at her lost heart. We all know that the real placement of our heart is right inside of our chest. . ." habang hawak ng kanan na kamay ko ang papel. Itinuro ko kung nasaan nakalagay ang puso para magdagdag ng emosyon sa report.

"It seems like someone hurted her! And that is because of love! Parang puzzle lang, ang mga bawat piyesa nito bumubuo ng isang litrato but kahit gaano ito kabilis o kagandandang nabuo still you can see the flaws— The effect! Kaya minsan napapatanong ako sa mga taong sinisira ang kanilang relasyon. Bakit mo bubuoin kung sisirain mo lang d—"

I stopped when Sir Belindo cut me off. Nakakunot noo akong tumingin sa matanda na mukhang may plano nanaman na hindi maganda.

"Parang mas masaya kapag debate na lang ito, 'di ba?" halos lumuwa ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Is he alright? Nabagok ba ito? "Ano class, agree?"

Halos mamuti ang labi ko nang narinig kong sumigaw ang mga tanga at mukhang nag agree pa sa matanda. Now everyone got his attention, huh? Kitang-kita ko ang ngiting aso ng mga taong hindi naka-focus kanina.

"Magmahal o hindi magmahal?" he suddenly asked. My lips parted in disbelief. Seryoso ba siya sa ipapa-dabate niya?

"Three minutes para maayos niyong dalawa ang isasagot niyo," saad ni Sir habang kumakain ng mani na halos maka tatlong supot na. Ni hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito ang tumatakbo sa isip niya.

"Quezhia, since bitter ka," they laughed. I joined in with a sarcastic laugh, rolling my eyes and pretending it was just a joke. But deep down, gusto ko na silang balatan ng buhay. "Sa iyo ang hindi magmahal, and you, Ethan, sa iyo ang magmahal."

My classmates squealed irritately when he smiled. It was a rare for him to show such warmth or to mingle with others. Ethan Jacob Gonzales, our SSG president, was renowned not just for his striking looks but also for his impressive achievements. As they often say, he’s the epitome of the “man of dreams.” His presence lit up the room, drawing everyone’s attention.

I rubbed my scalp while I considered what I would battle for today. Even though I had nothing to worry about, my heart was racing abnormally.

“Your three minutes starts now.”

I closed my eyes to distract myself from the annoyance. This teacher was all over the place. I wished that Sir Belindo would just be unavailable so we wouldn’t have to attend his class.

Makalipas ng tatlong minuto, biglang tumunog ang keypad na phone ni Sir Belindo. Ngumisi siya sa aming dalawa sabay bulsa ng phone niya. Itinaas niya ang kamay niya at inilapag ito ng malakas sa mesa na tila sinasabi sa amin na simulan na.

I was ready to say something, but my words faltered as Ethan spoke. A wave of anxiety washed over me. After all, he was our top student, and I consistently placed second because of my frequent absences due to my fragile health. If I had been stronger, perhaps I could have challenged him for the top spot. I had heard that he could have attended a school for gifted students, but I couldn't understand what had motivated him to stay at this public school.

"Guys, we all know that love is essential for our happiness. It’s a powerful force that gives life its true meaning; research shows that love is what sustains us. It not only enriches our lives but also strengthens us for the battles we face every day. When we have love, we find the courage to overcome challenges and the resilience to keep moving forward," Ethan said proudly habang naka tingin sa mga classmate namin. I could see the arrogance in him as he spoke those words.

I laughed silently.

"Love? Tsk," panimula ko. Na parang medyo nairita sa sinabi niya.

“Who are you trying to fool? From the very beginning, we all know that forever doesn’t exist! That means no one will truly stay. If no one stays, someone will inevitably get hurt. So, first of all, let’s do the right thing! We should distance ourselves from those who will harm us. The best example of something harmful and deadly in this world is love.”

I saw him shake his head, so I raised my eyebrow in response to his behavior.

Wow disagree 'yan?

"You know what, Miss Carter?" panimula niya sabay ayos sa relo niya na akala niya kina-cool niya.

"Your life is too dull if you choose not to love. Why? Because as time passes, you'll crave what everyone desires, and that is love," he argued, looking quite proud of his statement, which made me laugh.

Anong boring? Tang-ina ba siya? Kung itulak ko kaya siya ngayon, boring pa ba 'yon?

"Well, Mr. Ethan Jacob Gonzales," I mocked to annoy him. "Isn’t it better to be boring than to get hurt? I’d rather choose to be lonely than to hope that I'm truly happy in that kind of love."

“Maraming nagsasaktan. Maraming pinapatay ang sarili. Maraming nalululong sa droga. Maraming hindi nakakausad dahil sa pag-ibig na ’yan!”

I frowned when I noticed him smirking. He leaned in closer, his gaze locking onto my eyes, making me aware of the tension between us.

“Loving is heartfelt. It’s a feeling that comes from within. If you truly feel love for someone, you'll end up eating your own words. You never know when the time to love will come; your heart will guide you,” he clarified, looking at me with a serious expression.

Narinig kong nag tilian 'yong mga babaeng baliw na baliw kay Ethan sa likod kaya napatingin ako sa kanila. Seryoso ba sila? ta-tanga ng mga 'to. Kahit si Ethan na lang ang nag-iisang lalaki sa mudo, mas gugustuhin ko pang matulog.

"Is there a reason why love is considered special? Because I don’t see anything special about it at all. Why do you all enjoy falling in love? Aren’t you concerned about the consequences? Wake up! We’re not young enough to believe in such foolish notions of love!" I said, my gaze locked directly on Ethan, who had been staring at me for quite some time. When I looked at him, I noticed a smile spreading across his face.

Crush siguro ako ng mokong na 'to.

"It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love," he said sarcastically, as if he were aiming his words at someone specific. Well, I wasn’t about to let that hit me. I could easily throw a punch at him if I wanted to.

Lalampasuhin ko pa sana siya through my words pero napatigil ako nang nagsalita siya ulit. Na nagpaurong ng dila ko.

"Why? Have you ever been in love? Have you ever loved?" He posed one question after another, leaving our classmates in awe. Even I was taken aback by what he said. When I realized he was real, my body appeared to turn to stone.

That's too much personal... akala ko ba debate lang ito? Bakit parang personalan na?

Dahil sa inis. I began to reflect on my situation. He was right. I had never been in a relationship. Yes, I was already eighteen and still hadn’t experienced love. Why was that? Was I afraid of the idea of love? Could it be that I was simply a coward, too afraid to open my heart? As those thoughts swirled in my mind, I realized that perhaps my fear of getting hurt had held me back all this time.

******
I'm Getting Older While He's Not
#UnconditionalLoveSeries
-Kyahhhgorgeous

Warning: This story contains graphic depictions of Abuse, Flawed Characters, and Sexual Harassment. Read at your own risk.

Btw, ang pronunciation ng Quezhia is "Keh-sha" hindi po "Kiziya"

Expect some cringe-worthy and corny moments in this story, including dialogues and scenes that you might not appreciate. I apologize in advance for any inappropriate language. If you find yourself uncomfortable with the words, please feel free to stop reading. Thank you, and stay safe, Gorjas!

Votes and comments are highly appreciated