Wearing this dress again makes me feel like a fraud. It's not me, not one bit, and all I can think is what Danny said to me that day in the dressing room. That if it were him, he wouldn't make me wear some stupid dress or walk down the aisle with a broken heart. I don't even think my heart is broken over Bennett anymore. It's Danny who I'm most upset over.

My reflection in the wall mirror shows me everything that's wrong with this. I shouldn't go today, it's not right, not after his lips were on mine. I didn't feel anything, but he still kissed me. Is the wedding even still on?

I start tugging at the zipper but can't get to it. The doorbell rings. "Fuck." I curse under my breath.

Before I leave the bathroom, it rings again, and again, over, and over. There's no time to zip up, so I head over to the door. My parents aren't home, so I'm the one who has to answer.

Pulling open the door, I gasp at the sight before me. The weather sucks for an outdoor wedding and standing before me soaked in his tuxedo is Bennett.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

"I don't know, are you going to kiss me again?"

"That was a mistake, I didn't-"

I don't know why, hearing him call me a mistake hits hard. It shouldn't because it was a HUGE mistake. It caused me to lose the man who truly held my heart.

"Shouldn't you be walking down the aisle?" I ask.

"Uh-can I just please come in?"

"Fine." I step aside, allowing him some space. "Let me get you a towel."

I return quickly. He toes off his dress shoes and runs the towel over his hair. He undoes his tie, loosening the buttons of his white button down.

"I'd offer you a seat, but you're soaked. So, will you tell me why you're here?"

He rubs the bridge of his nose, pushing hard into his skin. It takes him a minute to speak, but I allow him the time to process whatever is going on inside his head.

"Danny's mom said she couldn't get in touch with him, so she went to his apartment, and he wasn't there. He's not at my house either and Everett said he hasn't heard from him."

"What do you mean? He got in his truck last night and-" My voice catches in my throat.

"I know. I saw him too. I just, I tried to call, even Everett did. I feel like such an asshole for what I did."

He swallows hard, and I can't tell if the wetness on his cheeks is from the water droplets dripping off him or if he's crying. Running a hand through his wet locks, he shakes his head, repeating the words I'm an asshole, over and over.

"Ben," I touch his shoulder, his gaze shooting up towards me. "We'll find him. Okay? Let's think about this rationally. Where does Danny go when he needs to blow off steam?"

I want to laugh at how I'm thinking we can get through this rationally. Neither of us are in our right minds. I'm still not even sure that Bennett is getting married. He's here, not there, not at the venue taking pictures, not with his other best man, he's here with me.

"Fishing?"

I shake my head. "No. That's not a comfort spot of his."

Thinking back to when we were young, there were only a few times when Danny needed a breather so badly that he'd disappear. The biggest one was the loss of his father in tenth grade. We connected, bonded over the death of a family member. Both his dad and my sister had a heart that couldn't handle the stress of life.

We all split up and searched. It was nearly dark by the time I'd found him. He had crawled under the large slide at the school playground. He told me not to tell anyone he was there but said I could stay. I did. I sat with him in the deafening silence until he was ready to talk. When he was, everything tumbled out of him. I allowed him to be angry, sad, confused, and only nodded or commented when it felt appropriate. The death of someone and heartbreak from loving someone too much are two completely separate things, but that doesn't mean he's not there.

"I got him. At least I think I do."

Bennett stares at me, his brows knot closely together.

"Trust me. Okay?"

I reach for my gray hoodie on the coat rack behind Bennett. There's still one question I have to know before I leave. Pausing mid-way through putting on my sweater, I turn back.

"Bennett?"

"Yeah?"

"Answer me this. Are you still getting married today?"

Slowly, he nods. "She knows what happened. She's still choosing to love me, just as I am her." Now I see them, the tears. They've been building at the corners of his eyes for a while, but finally falling now. "I really do love her. But I had to see if there was a connection between us before I walked down the aisle. I needed closure."

He hangs his head in shame.

I release a trembling breath. "Same. And did you get your closure?"

"Mmm," he says. "I did." A pause. "You?" He glances up, keeping his focus on me.

I nod. "Yeah. That door is sealed."

A moment of peace passes between us. Things might be rocky, but Bennett is one of my best friends and I'm not going to let him down.

"I'll make sure we're both there. On time."

"Fal, I-"

I hold up my hand, forcing him into silence.

"We'll be there. Promise. That's what best friends are for, right? Sometimes we fight, we fuck up, maybe even fall for each other, but Bennett- that doesn't mean it's over. You'll always hold this extra special place in my heart, but Danny's it for me. I think he always has been. I wish I'd seen it sooner. I've got a sliver of hope that maybe he still feels the same."

"I love you," he says.

"Love you too." I close the empty space between us and wrap my arms around him.

He lowers his head, burying his face into my neck. "He still loves you. I don't think he'll ever stop. Tell him how you feel, don't take no for an answer. That stubborn man better watch it if he doesn't take you in his arms and snatch you up."

"I hope you're right."

I start to pull away, but he grips my wrist, stopping me.

"Oh, and Fal. Wear what you want to the wedding. I think you look amazing in anything, but I want you to be comfortable. Okay?"

My cheeks heat, as I lower my gaze. Another knot forming deep in my throat kills the words before they reach the surface. I nod, instead of speaking, because if I spoke, I'd probably cry.

###

The rain is coming down in heavy buckets. Even the windshield wipers are having a rough time holding up. My view is a wall of water. Thankfully, I know these roads so well I could probably drive them in my sleep.

When I pull into the lot of the old elementary school the memories from that first day come rolling in. A partial smile grazes my lips. I'll never regret kicking Tanner Montgomery in the balls that day. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have the three best friends in the entire world.

I jump out of the car and almost stumble over the dark pavement. His F-150 sits a few spots away. The rain still hasn't let up, but that doesn't stop me from running. Puddles splash up dirtying the dress. I don't care, when we're done here, I'm changing into something new. We're going to make it to that wedding, even if I have to drag him there, we aren't missing our best friend's wedding over some feelings.

"Danny!"

A dark figure sits exactly where I'd found him last time. He's under the large green slide, a place where we'd made a friendship pact so many years ago, a spot that felt sacred enough to come and hash out feelings.

I'm not sure how long he's been out here, but when I slide in beside him, his entire body is shaking. It's summer so the air is filled with heat, but the raindrops are cool. I throw myself around him, holding on tight. I don't care that he's not responding back, I'm just happy he's okay.

I pull back, resting on my knees. "Come on. You're soaked, and we have a wedding to get to."

"I'm not going."

"Danny, what you saw yesterday was Bennett having cold feet. You didn't even let me explain. He pressed his lips against mine and I shoved him hard, but you missed that part."

"You've loved him since the first day you met, and me, you did it out of pity."

"Fuck you, Danny. How dare you say that. I drove here in the pouring rain to put my heart on the line again, and without even listening to anything I have to say you shut me down."

"Then talk."

"I loved Bennett because it felt like we connected the most, that I could tell him everything, but in reality, I was telling you everything. Sure, he and I had our things, like our beach trips, and inside jokes between us, but I went to him when I failed a test. I came to you when I needed to feel whole again. No matter what the issue was, you were always there to help pick up the pieces. This whole time, it's been you. It's your own fault too," I say, pressing a hand into his wet chest.

My lips quiver making it hard to speak. I'm not losing any of these men, my life would fall apart at the seams if I didn't have them. I'll do anything for us to be whole again.

"You never told me how you felt either. And you had a girlfriend every week starting from the time we were ten up until last year. You flirted with every girl, how was I supposed to pick up on your feelings?"

I take several deep breaths to make myself feel better. It's not working, my chest is tight, and I'm on the verge of hyperventilating, but I need to get through what's happening here.

"We had our own moments, but loving you never occurred to me because you were the guy that would walk into school with a new girl on your arm every week. I couldn't compete with some of those girls. At one point I did think about being with you as more than a friend, but chalked it up to being a crush, because it felt like every girl under the sun had one. I let it go, because I knew you'd never want to be with the tomboy girl who kicked a boy in the balls and loved to get dirty."

"Do you wanna know why?"

"Why what?" I ask.

"Why I dated girls that were the complete opposite of you?"

My hands clench the soaked sand below me, bracing for impact.

"Okay."

He adjusts his legs pulling them into a criss cross position in front of him. Pressing the palms of his hands into his leg, he finally looks at me, like really looks at me.

"Because loving you meant I could lose you. I drowned myself in seas of women who were nothing like you, because you are special to me, and no one could ever be you. None of them. They were a distraction, a way to forget how in love I was with you. I figured you'd maybe end up with Bennett eventually. Only once we all parted ways and you began to reach out more, I thought maybe I had a chance, it's why I stopped dating. If you saw that I wasn't that guy anymore you'd come home and love me."

Wiping my hands on the dress I lean in and press one to his cheek, then rest my head against his. I need to be close, to feel his warmth and let his love surround me.

"I was so blinded by my crush on Bennett that I pushed it away. There was one night in those first months of college where I thought that maybe I might have feelings for you."

"October of freshman year?"

I nod. "Usually, I'd call Bennett, but for some reason I felt like I needed you. We talked all night, remember?"

"When I woke up the next morning, I could hear you snoring on the other end." Danny's face begins to light up and underneath the palm of my hand his cheeks tug into a smile.

"Then we ate breakfast together, both at Denny's but miles away. We had the country fried steak and talked about everything, yet nothing at the same time. I knew then, but my mind was so clouded with Bennett, that I failed to see. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

His eyes close as he nudges me lightly with his head and releases a trembling breath.

"So many times, I contemplated getting on a plane and pulling some huge romantic gesture like in one of your smutty books, or a rom com."

I snort. Loud, and pig-like. His eyes fly open, and they smile with his lips.

"Which gesture? Radio over your head? Holding up signs with words to tell me how you felt?"

"I mean was the welcome home from prison not good enough?"

Our laughter swirls together as a sliver of lightning lights up the darkened sky.

"It was perfect."

"See, my romantic gestures are better than those in books and movies. Plus, which one of those book boyfriends of yours allows the heroine to alphabetize their bookshelf?"

Even with the soft breeze, and the heavy rain beating down on us, I can still feel his breath along my lips. I push mine into his first but pull away slightly. "None of them."

"You're damn right. I'm the only book boyfriend you'll ever need."

In the midst of laughing, we kiss. My mouth opens easily for him, as he pulls me into his lap and holds on as if he never wants to let go. Nothing compares to his touch. A crack of thunder tears us apart.

"Meet you at my place?"

"I've got to stop home and grab my suit."

"You're suit."

"Yup. We have a wedding to go to, and I was told I could wear what makes me comfortable." There's a long moment of silence, minus the thunder that follows the bolt of lightning streaking across the summer sky. "He didn't mean it. Your best friend is getting married, you'll regret not being there. We all will. We made a pact."

"That's right asshole, we made a pact."

Behind me, Bennett's voice is loud. I jolt back from Danny's grip and turn to find both Everett and Bennett walking towards us. Thunder crashing around, lightning brightening up the gray sky.

The two crawl under to where Danny and I are sitting, and sit beside us.

"I'm so sorry, man. We said girls would never come between us, and the one girl we promised not to love is of course the one that does," Bennett says.

"You did what?"

"It was a guy thing." He waves me off.

I scowl at them. "I have plenty of love for all of you," I say, pointing at myself, making them all laugh.

I love how it sounds. Almost losing the three men who shaped my life was too much to bear, but hearing their laughter, seeing their smiles, is all it takes for the pieces of my heart to be sewn back together.

"I forgive you. As long as either of you don't go kissing my girl again," Danny says, tugging me into his arms. I fall into him easily and hold on.

"Fine by me, no offense," Everett grins.

"None taken."

"To Tanner Montgomery's balls, for bringing us together," Danny says.

"To Tanner's balls," we all shout.

It's the most ridiculous thing ever, but what matters is that we're laughing. We are one, and nothing will ever come between us again.