CHAPTER FIVE.
the valley of the shadow of death

     EZRA WINDSOR didn't sleep much that night, his main motivator for staying awake being one thing and one thing only — fear.

Fear was a strange concept, but one Ezra had grown used to over the years. He wasn't like most kids. He didn't grow up in a big house behind a white picket fence. He didn't get to have a family pet ( even though he really wanted to ). He didn't get to go to school and make friends. He couldn't afford the simple luxuries in life, like toys, and candy, because they simply did not exist, not anymore. He didn't get to go on vacation in a big plane and fly across the world, or celebrate Christmas, or his birthday. He never even got to enjoy being a kid because there was never a moment in his life worth celebrating. 

From the moment Ezra Windsor left the comfort of his mother's womb, kicking and screaming, he was raised to do one thing and one thing only, and that was survive. His parents wanted him to beat the cruel world he was suddenly brought into. His dad taught him how to shoot when he was only four years old, while his mom taught him how to stay hidden, how to ration his supplies, and what he should do if he ever found himself in trouble. And if there was one thing he learned growing up, even after his father's sudden and brutal death, it was to never let his guard down, because one way or another, there was always something or someone out to get him.

     That was where his fear of the world sprouted from, like a tiny seed planted into the ground, it only continued to grow with each day that passed him bye. The older Ezra Windsor got, the sooner he saw the world for what it truly was. The apocalypse wasn't something that should be embraced, or something everyone just had to adapt to. It was a cold and empty place with death, horror, and violence lurking around each and every dark corner in his path. It was a never ending cycle that no one could escape from. Especially him.

     Fear kept him breathing though. He never let his guard down, not even for a second. Not when he was with his mom, not when he ran away to live in the Boston QZ, and not when he accepted the job to smuggle a teenage girl out of the city alongside his own mom. And when he thought he could finally let his guard down again, fear found its way back into his life, seeping into his bloodstream like poison.

     After he saw that bite mark on Ellie's arm, fear took over and within seconds he had his own gun aimed at a kid, a fucking kid. If there was one thing Ezra feared more than anything, it was turning into the monsters he sought to destroy. Runners, Clickers, Bloaters. . . they were all products of the cruel and cutthroat he grew up in. Ezra had always promised himself he would never die the way millions of people all over the world did. He didn't want to turn into one of those things, so when the possibility crossed his mind after realising he had spent the last twenty four hours with an infected girl, well, he acted irrationally.

     But he didn't pull the trigger. Maybe he would've if his mom didn't get in the way, or if Tess didn't pull him away, urging them all to leave before more FEDRA soldiers showed up. Ezra continued to dwell on his actions from the night before until the sun came up the next morning.

     After escaping from the four lonesome walls of the QZ, the group decided to call it a night and camped out in an old, abandoned building. It was a small store, the inside littered with rubble and overgrown weeds. Ellie had gone to sleep that night while Vienna stayed beside her, a gun in her hand in case anyone tried to kill the girl in her deep and vulnerable slumber. Tess and Joel kept watch and urged Ezra to get some sleep after he almost blew out the brains of a young girl. The boy tried, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Ellie turning, twitching and screeching while she feasted on his friends, his mom, and even him. It was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

     So, he stayed up all through the night, sitting in the far corner with his gun clutched tightly in his hand, his eyes flickering between Ellie while she continued to sleep peacefully under the radiant sun peaking through the ceiling. His eyes occasionally flickered over to his mother, watching as she glanced cautiously back at him. It was almost like she was frightened. She wasn't scared of him, but more like she was scared of what he would do. If he could even contemplate shooting a kid, what other atrocities was he capable of?

Then, from the corner of the boy's eye, he noticed Ellie slowly stirring awake. This caused for his grip on his gun to quickly tighten, his finger hovering over the trigger. He wasn't taking a chances. Especially not with an infected kid. He watched as she turned around to face the rest of them, each of them staring between the girl and his mom, who remained next to the young girl, but their attention remained mostly focused on Ellie.

     Ezra quickly noticed the way his mom glared at them while she adjusted the grip she had around her gun, and although it was only for a split second, Ezra truly thought she would kill them all if it meant protecting Ellie. He watched her kill his dad fifteen years ago. If she was capable of killing the man she supposedly loved, then what would she do to him if he jeopardised her duty to the Fireflies?

     Ellie, noticing the ongoing tension between the adults in the room, grumbled a quiet, "Morning."

     The girl tried to move closer to stand up on her feet, however, Joel quickly raised his gun at Ellie, a stern look burning bright in his eyes. This caused for Vienna to point her pistol back at the man, a shaky breath leaving her lips. "Lower the gun, Joel. She isn't going to hurt you." She instructed in a firm tone.

     "Tell that to the bite on her arm." Joel replied, a cold tone laced in his low voice.

     Ellie sighed in frustration. "Do I look like I'm infected?" She asked them in a rhetorical manner.

     Ezra, feeling reluctant, decided to bolster his gun as his lips parted for him to speak. "Fine. Let's see the bite on your arm. Roll up your sleeve, kid." He pushed. He didn't believe she wasn't infected for a second. He just wanted to evaluate all the realistic possibilities before he considered killing a kid.

     Ellie doesn't say anything at first. Instead she cautiously looks over at Vienna, watching as the woman gave her a reassuring nod. "Show them. It's okay." She told her, offering her a half smile. And with that, she does as she's told and rolls up her sleeve only to reveal the bite on her arm. Ezra shuffled slightly closer only to see it did look older than most bites. It almost seemed as if it had healed over already.

     Impossible. He thought. There was no way it was real.

     "Yeah, it's not getting any worse, is it?" Ellie replied bitterly, rolling her sleeve back down. Then, the girl looked around the building with a weary look glazed over her eyes. "If we're out in the open city, why aren't we getting swarmed?" She questioned curiously.

     "What was Marlene doing with an infected kid?" Tess asked, quickly diverting attention back to the main topic of conversation, asking one of the many questions that had been itching at Ezra's brain from the moment he read that infection tracking device. Why would the leader of the Fireflies have them smuggle an infected kid after all?

     Vienna released a breath, shaking her head while she holstered her own weapon. "She's not infected." She deadpanned.

     "I find that hard to believe." Ezra retorted, folding his arms over his chest while he continued to stare down at his mom with a hesitant expression plastered across his pale features.

     "Listen, Ellie came to Marlene weeks ago after she was bitten. During the last couple of weeks, we were asked to monitor her, check for any signs of infection. Of course, I didn't know why I was monitoring her until yesterday when Marlene told me." Vienna explained, shrugging her shoulders.

     "And you didn't shoot her?" Joel inquired, sounding skeptical.

     "She's sitting right here, you know?" Ellie chimed, sarcasm laced in her voice while she narrowed her eyes at the older man.

     "After all the tests we carried out, I didn't see a reason to put a bullet in her." Vienna answered.

     "Test her how?" Tess questioned further, her brows furrowing together in the process.

     Vienna combed a hand through her hair, shrugging once again. "We got her to hold out her hand to see if she twitched. Made her count from one all the way to ten. The basics..." She elaborated.

     "But you know what really impressed them was the fact that I didn't turn into a fucking monster." Ellie snapped harshly. "Now can I please go and pee?" She asked, sounding almost fed up as she stood up, causing for Joel to stand up too, his gun slightly raised this time.

     Tess spared Ellie a quick look before she nodded her head. "Fine. Back there. You can find a spot." She nodded towards a door that led into another room. "And here. Tear out a few pages." She told her, throwing over a magazine.

     However, Ellie quickly stopped in her tracks once she got to the door, turning around to face the rest of them. "There's not gonna be anything bad in here?" She asked, sounding almost worried.

     "Just you." Joel called out to the girl in response.

     "Oh, funny." Ellie replied sarcastically as she entered the next room, leaving the rest of them alone together.

Ezra then released a sigh past his lips, turning to face his mother with a look full of defeat glimmering in his eyes, realising he was going to be forced to talk to her sooner or later. He didn't like to face the past. Especially the one that involved his mom. But it was going to happen whether he liked it or not. He might as well rip off the bandaid now. "Mom, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked.

     Vienna felt a spark of hope ignite in her ribcage when she heard her son call him that, and it wasn't even full of hate and distain towards her. This caused for Vienna to nod her head before she followed her son into the far corner of the room, tucking some hair behind her ear, while she listened to her son speak. "Are you seriously buying into this bullshit story about Ellie being immune?" He asked her.

     "It's not bullshit, Ezra." Vienna retorted, shaking her head in the process. "Trust me, I called bullshit too when Marlene first told me. But we all know anyone whose bit turns within two days. I've been monitoring this girl for weeks and she's fine." She elaborated further.

     Ezra was silent for a moment, tilting his head down to stare at the moss covered ground for a moment before he released another sigh past his lips. "I don't believe it." He breathed out, lifting his gaze to meet his mom's eyes once again.

     "Well, it doesn't matter what you believe." Vienna deadpanned, pausing for a moment while she inhaled sharply. "We just have to get Ellie to the old State House and then we go from there—"

     "We?" Ezra interrupted, cutting Vienna off while he continued to stare at his mom, appearing almost confused.

Vienna nodded, her lips parting slightly for her to speak again. "Yeah. I thought that now we're together again, you could come with Ellie and I." She assumed.

Ezra let out a scoff, shaking his head. "Why would I leave with you?" He asked, sounding amused while he spoke.

"Ezra..." Vienna trailed off, pausing for a moment while a look of love and sincerity began to burn in her eyes. "I'm your mother. I understand that you ran away, but things will be different now. I promise." She explained, sounding almost hopeful when she made her promise to her son.

Except Ezra didn't see it that way. He saw his mom attempting to trap him in her spiderweb of lies all over again. This caused for the boy to let out a bitter chuckle. "You...you're not my mom." He accused harshly.

     Vienna felt her heart drop to the bottom of her stomach, that small ember of hope that began to ignite her ribcage being snuffed out the second she heard those words leave her son's lips. "Ezra—"

     "No. I mean it. You're not my mom. All you are is the woman who killed my dad." He informed, pausing for a moment while he swallowed thickly. Ezra then lifted his gaze to meet the woman's eyes once again, trying to hold back his tears while he thought about his father. "We might share the same blood. But we are not family. Not anymore. I'll help you and Ellie get to the old State House if that's what you want. But after that we go our separate ways, and I never want to see you again. Got it?"

     And in that moment, Vienna Windsor wanted to cry, and to beg for her son to come to his senses, or even confess the truth about who Jack Lawson really was behind closed doors. But then she quickly remembered that it wouldn't change a thing. She was still the monster who killed her son's father, who committed atrocities throughout the years that would've scarred anyone for life. And so, the woman swallowed her emotions and nodded her head, saying the only words she knew her son wanted to hear.

     "Got it." She replied, her words barely above a whisper while she did her best to hold back her own tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks.

     And although Vienna Windsor managed to put on a brave face, on the inside, she felt herself crumbling into a million tiny pieces, wishing her son would love her again. But that moment would never come.

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If there was one thing Ezra Windsor hated about the apocalypse, it was finding himself low on basic rations he needed in order to survive. Or not having anything other than stale jerky to keep him going until he felt desperately hungry all over again. Even then he didn't give into his hunger and feast on his rations. He shared it equally throughout the day to make sure it would last longer. But even with the few sticks of jerky he chewed on, he still felt the gnawing hunger that grumbled in the pit of his stomach. And it definitely didn't help when he looked up to see both Ellie and his mom sharing what appeared to be a chicken sandwich, which only fuelled his hunger even more.

     The boy tucked his rations back into his backpack, shaking his head while he leaned against the wall once again, resting his skull against the concrete. Then, from the corner of his eye his noticed Tess stand up, the woman now towering over both Vienna and Ellie, but her focus remained on the younger girl. "Why are you so important to Marlene?" She asked. "And don't lie to me or we'll take you back." She quickly added.

     "You take me back you don't get your battery." Ellie argued, shrugging her shoulders while she took another bite of her sandwich.

     Ezra couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "You're a smartass. You know that?" He reminded the girl, standing up from where he was previously sat before he walked over towards Ellie. "Well, since you heard that, you must've heard that both Joel and I want to shoot you since we don't exactly buy into your bullshit story about you not being infected." He explained, causing for Ellie to shuffle uncomfortably from where she was sitting.

     Tess then crouches down in front of the young girl. "I'm gonna talk to you like you're an adult. Joel, Ezra and I aren't good people. We're doing this for us because, apparently, you're worth something. But we don't know what you're worth if we don't know what we have. So answer my question." The woman explained.

     Ellie hesitated once again, however, before the girl had a chance to speak up, Vienna stopped her from doing so, gaining everyone else's attention before she parted her own lips to speak. "Fine." She sighed in defeat, pausing for a brief moment before she decided to speak once again. "There's a Firefly camp somewhere out West. There's doctors out there working on a cure. We believe that whatever's preventing Ellie from actually turning could be the key to finding a vaccine." She explained further.

     And when Ezra believed the discussion couldn't get anymore ridiculous, he heard the word, cure, and that was enough to make him let out a loud scoff. He wasn't the only one either. It didn't take long for Joel to speak up after remaining silent for so long, a sigh of frustration leaving the older man's lips. "I've heard this before." He muttered quietly underneath his breath before Vienna began to argue with him, trying her best to convince the man that what she was telling him could be true. And that was when Joel snapped at the woman.

"That's what this is?" Joel questioned abruptly, staring back at Vienna with an agitated look burning bright in his eyes. "We've heard this a million times. Vaccines, miracle cures. None of it works." He elaborated further.

"Fuck you, man. I didn't ask for this." Ellie snapped back at Joel, standing up from where she was previously sitting.

"You and me both." Joel replied before he turned his attention back to Tess, a look of doubt plastered across his features. "This isn't gonna end well, Tess." He told the woman.

Ezra folded his arms over his chest, nodding his head in agreement with the man standing beside him. "Maybe not." He paused, lifting his gaze to meet Joel's for a moment before he diverted his gaze over to where his mother now stood beside Ellie, giving in. "I don't buy it. One way or another she's going to turn. But we need the battery. If we finish this then we get what we want then we go our separate ways." The boy elaborated further, earning a sheepish smile from his mother in response. She appeared to be grateful for his decision to help, even if it was for his own personal gain.

     It was silent for a moment before Tess turned around to face Joel. "Let's just finish it." She declared, causing for Joel to part his lips so he could protest, but Tess was just as quick to cut him off. "It doesn't matter if she is or she isn't what the Fireflies say. If they believe that she is then, we get what we want." She explained further.

     Joel's eyes flickered between Ezra and Tess for a short moment, noticing how they were sure of their decision. They just needed him to make his own decision. And as a quiet sigh of defeat left his lips, he nodded his head. "If she so much as twitches—"

     In that moment, Ellie jokingly began to make noises that mimicked the Infected, raising her arms as they twitched slightly. Ezra glanced at the young girl, unamused at her failed attempt to be funny. The boy then bit down on the inside of his cheek, trying his best to refrain from being mean, or saying something he would later regret. And when he thought he would finally cave, another voice quickly flooded the air. His mother's voice.

     "Ellie, stop." Vienna told her, causing for Ellie to clear her throat, apologising quietly underneath her breath before Vienna turned to the teenage girl once again. "Come on, pack your bag. The sooner we get to the old State House, the better." She announced.

     They all begin to pack their bags, shoving their belongings inside. Then an abrupt question from Ellie flooded the air. "Can I have a gun?" She asked, sounding almost hopeful. And all at once, everyone replied with a simple and firm 'no', causing for Ellie to curse underneath her breath. "Okay, Jesus. I'll have to throw a fucking sandwich at them." She then muttered quietly before throwing her backpack over her shoulder.

     Once they were all packed and ready to go, Joel led the way towards the main door, moving a large piece of furniture out of the way before he carefully pushed the front door open. First, he peered through the small crack, looking around wearily for any signs of danger that threatened their safety and lives. Once he knew it was all clear, he turned around to face the rest of them. "It's clear."

     One by one, they all left the building and walked out into the open city. Ezra adjusted the strap of the bag on his shoulder, squinting at the beaming sun shining down on them all while they began to walk through the city. Or as others liked to call it, the valley of death. Ezra hasn't been this close to the crumbling city in what seemed like forever. It had been months since he left the four walls of the Boston QZ. He almost forgot how beautiful everything looked up close. Truth is, the city might be nothing more than a gigantic wasteland, but it always looked beautiful in the daylight. It was quiet and free. No Infected and no raiders. It was his perfect idea of peace.

     He wasn't the only one amazed by the sight of the empty city in all of its glory. Ezra turned around to see Ellie looking up into the sky, wanderlust burning bright like a shimmering glimmer in her eyes. It reminded him of when he was a young kid with no knowledge of the horrors that lurked in the shadows. He admired that innocence. And he missed what it felt like.

     "Come on, kid." Ezra told Ellie, giving the girl a gentle nudge. "The sooner we get rid of you, the better." He added, beginning to walk further into the distance.

     Ellie shook her head, a ghost of a smile forming across her lips. "Dick." She whispered before she began to follow him and Tess into the distance.

     Trailing further behind was Vienna Windsor and Joel Miller, who exchanged a series of looks before they began to follow the others through the crumbling wasteland, an uncomfortable silence sitting between the pair. There was a tension so strong that it couldn't even be cut through with a knife. Vienna knew deep down the man was angry towards her. She lied to him about Ellie and her importance to Marlene and the Firefly organisation. He trusted her just enough because of their shared history, and she betrayed that trust. She understood his resentment. But she didn't feel guilty for lying to him about it either.

However, if she was going to spend the entire day with her former best friend, well, it only seemed right to break the tension between them. Even if they would be going their separate ways once the day was done. So the woman swallowed the thick lump lodged in the back of her throat before she parted her lips to speak once again. "Look, I know that you're pissed at me—"

"You lied to me, Vienna." Joel interrupted, cutting the woman off while he quickly spared her a cold stare before turning his attention back to the landscape displayed in front of his eyes.

"You understand why I did it though, right?" Vienna asked him in a rhetorical manner, her choice of words earning nothing more than deafening silence in response. This caused for the woman to sigh once again. "Joel, you pointed a gun at Ellie in that hallway yesterday, and you didn't even know she was bitten at the time. I did what I had to do to protect her, even if it was from you." She explained, trying her best to justify her reasonings behind her actions.

     Joel nodded his head. "You can tell yourself that all you want, Vienna. I don't really care either way. But the second I see a single sign of infection, I'm putting a bullet in her head whether you like it or not."

     Vienna felt a cold chill run up her spine when she heard those words leave Joel's lips. She didn't expect to hear something so cold, so haunting leave his lips. She expected a man with a daughter to have a little bit more compassion for another kid, even if she wasn't his own. But regardless, she let the thought roll off her shoulders before she decided to speak once again. "You won't, because I'm telling the truth, Joel." She retorted.

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." He muttered underneath his breath, shaking his head before another thought quickly crossed his mind. "So, how come Marlene didn't trust you enough to take the kid to the old State House on your own?"

"She trusts me." Vienna corrected.

"It doesn't look like that to me since I'm being forced to do it instead." He replied, a harsh tone laced in his low voice.

"Okay, first of all, no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to do this." Vienna reminded him, sounding frustrated while she spoke. "And Marlene does trust me. It's just...the Fireflies are complicated in terms of who they give their information to. And I haven't been with them long enough to earn that level of trust." She added, shrugging her shoulders in the process.

Joel glanced back at the woman. "Well, I never took you for a terrorist in the first place. So I was surprised to see you standing next to Marlene of all people." He informed.

"We're not terrorists." Vienna snapped at him quietly. "Look, my husband died, and my son ran away because he hates me. I was alone for a long time and being alone only gets you so far when you're surviving on a limited amount of resources. I had no ammo when I was getting chased by a pack of Infected. I would've died if a team of Fireflies didn't save my life. Then Marlene gave me a meal and promised me a better world—"

"Yeah, I've heard that one before, too." Joel interjected once again, cutting the woman's sentence short. "But they're all just empty promises that mean nothing."

"To you, maybe..." Vienna trailed off, a shaky breath leaving her lips. "But for me, she gave me hope. I believe in a world without FEDRA. I believe we can restore the world."

     Joel continued to glance at the woman, stepping over a few piles of rubble in the process. "So Marlene makes all these promises and doesn't give you all the information?" He questioned further, sounding almost suspicions.

     Vienna sighed quietly and showed the man the Firefly pendent hanging loosely around her neck. "This pendent. It has my name engraved on it, but it only means I'm one of them. I had to earn their trust, and I spent months doing exactly that. That's why I'm here now, because Marlene trusted me enough to make sure you don't abandon Ellie when it gets too tough. But we both know you won't do that now since you need the car battery." She explained.

Joel was silent for a moment, allowing Vienna to continue. "So, let's just do our jobs. We get to the old State house, we go our separate ways, and then we never have to see each other again. I think it's better that way anyways." She declared——

And although Joel was hesitant at first, he nodded his head in agreement. "Now there's something we can agree on." He told her before silence flooded the air around them again, the group slowly making their way onto an abandoned highway littered with rusted cars and rubble covered in overgrown grass.

The silence amongst the group only lasted for a short time before Ellie decided to let her curiosity speak. "Everyone said the open city was crazy. Like swarms of Infected running around everywhere." She informed, her eyes looking over the abandoned highway with a curious pair of eyes.

"Not exactly like that." Joel answered while he continued to walk beside Vienna.

"You know, people like to tell stories." Tess quickly added.

Ellie then let out an excited gasp. "So, there aren't Super-Infected that explode fungus spores on you?" She asked.

Vienna let out a quiet chuckle, shaking her head. "I'm sure that if they did exist then we would all be dead." She replied.

"Or ones with split-open head that see in the dark like bats?" Ellie pressed, her choice of words causing for everyone else to grow silent as they looked worriedly at one another.

Then, all of a sudden, a loud and haunting screech echoed loudly through the air, piercing all of their ears. The group quickly stopped in their tracks, and looked off into the distance for a moment before they turned their attention to all exchange a series of long and worrisome stares. It was like none of them wanted to take another step further into the city, now knowing what dangers lurked ahead. Especially ones that put their own lives at risk in the process. But they didn't want to turn back now. They couldn't.

"What was that?" Ellie inquired, her voice beginning to shake.

"Nothing to worry about." Ezra reassured the girl, even though deep down he didn't really believe it himself.

"Let's keep moving." Joel declared before they continued to move further through the valley of death.

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authors note.
Patiently waits for the Ezra hate to flood the comment section again 🧍🏻‍♀️

But I honestly had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Especially the subtle hints of Ezra warming up to Ellie already, and any Joel and Vienna interaction gets me every time. But the next chapter will be another fun one with a sad ending. . . if you know you know teehee.

But until then I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'll update again soon!!