(Important: Update schedule will be announced after this Chapter!)

You can't believe your eyes, your brain running around in circles at the speed of Usain Bolt as you stare at the red deer with a befuddled expression.

He's here, standing right before your very eyes. But you can't help but feel like the Louis who's holding your gaze right now, is not the same golden Boy that went missing two months prior. The passionate gleam in his brilliant eyes has changed, a spark of what you could only describe as madness or a god-complex tainting the warm colour.

Your body's reaction to the usually calm herbivore is the drastic opposite of what it used to be. Suddenly, you're back in his office on your second day at Cherryton and every fibre in your being tells you to run. Gone is the calm peace that enveloped you in the presence of the stag, the feeling of safety and comradeship.

"Long time no see, Y/n."

However, hoping desperately that your perceptions are wrong, you ignore the wild beating of your heart.

Surely it's just a side effect of being kidnapped and all...Yeah, that's what this is! I'm just overreacting, right? There's no need to feel paranoid around Bambi. He's my friend, he wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me! This is just the trauma speaking....

It has to be...

"Bambi?!" Your voice breaks when you gasp, swiftly turning to follow the deer as he begins to walk off. "Wha-... What?! When did you come back? Where the hell were you?!"

Acting like he hadn't gone M.I.A for the past weeks, he buries his hands in the pockets of his pants and you suppress the bubble of anger forming in your chest when you notice his annoyed eye-roll. "I came back last night. The housemother and the teachers already know about it. You know, you and Legoshi are really alike when it comes to your reactions."

The fuck is that supposed to mean?

"The fuck are you talking about?" You spit, feeling slightly guilty that you aren't absolutely grateful to see him, to talk to him. "And where the hell have you been? You've been gone for two whole months!"

"Some place far away." He answers absentmindedly. "You're heading to the club, right? I'll come with you."

Club? I was trying to find Haru, I didn't even know drama club was today! How does he know about it? He wasn't here for two fucking months!

"So it's been two months...has it? That's quite a long time, I didn't even realise." He smiles at you, though it doesn't reach his eyes. Instead, it almost feels like some weird condescending gesture and you're not sure what to do with this sudden change of chemistry between the two of you. This entire situation creeped you out. Why is he so calm, acting like everyone else didn't believe him to be dead? Why is he avoiding your questions about where he was? When did he talk to Legoshi?

What is going on with him?

You follow the red deer all the way to the drama club, resisting the urge to question him further. Knowing his stubbornness, he wouldn't give you any answers unless he wanted to and clearly, he has no intention of clearing anything up. Frankly, this new, almost predatory aura he gives off worries you even more, no matter if it's just your imagination or reality.

What the hell happened to you, Louis?

"Louis?! Is that really you?!"

"So the rumours were true! You did come back!"

"Where have you been?!"

The other members of the club react in a similar way you did; all shocked, taken aback or just simply confused beyond belief. Though unsurprisingly, Louis handles the onslaught of questions like a pro.

"I'm sorry for worrying you. Have you been well?"

You swear, the president's eyes almost pop out of his head. "Worry doesn't even describe it! We couldn't focus on our practice at all! Oh it really is you...I'm so glad. I'll ask questions later. For now, I'm just glad to have you back."

"That's quite alright, chief."

You spot Legoshi in the corner, watching the scene unfold with the same questioning gaze as the president currently has, eyes focused solely on Louis. The stag in question pulls an envelope out of his pocket and hands it to the pelican, whose confusion only grows. "I want you to accept this."

A moment of silence passes, drowning the room in suffocating tension as the president reads the piece of paper.

"I came here to give this to you. I'm grateful for the time we've had together."

Wait...why does it sound like he's....

"Y-You're quitting?!" Sanu shouts flabbergasted, his face losing its colour, much like your own as the words fully resonate with you. "Why?! The club can't go on without you-"

However, he's cut off by the stag, whose eyes fall upon the lit, wooden stage that he performed on so often. "The stage...oh...it takes me back. I stood on that stage...Basked in that artificial light...While I stood on that stage, I would enchant the audience with my acting while they awaited my downfall. I can still see them now."

He can't be serious? Is he seriously quitting? B-but he loves the stage! He loves acting! What the hell is going on here?!

Much to your surprise, Louis turns to Legoshi, the dangerous spark in his warm eyes relaying a message only the young wolf would understand.

"My, how the tables have turned, Legoshi. Do your best to struggle in the shallow Light." Turning to leave, he doesn't dare to glance back, even when the others call his name. "I am going to fight my battles differently."

It takes a moment for your brain to register what's happening.

Another moment to decide a course of action.

And another to actually start running after the boy you considered a friend.

The hallways you pass become a beige blur as you finally make it outside, catching up with the resident golden boy as he crosses the plaza, his frame gracefully overshadowed by the fancy constructions of Cherryton as the roses sway in the wind.

"Louis!"

Your scream makes him halt, but he doesn't turn around to face you. Instead, his shoulders straighten and once more, your brain urges you to turn back and run into the arms of your canine boyfriend, to safety.

"It's been a long while since you've called me by my name," He mutters, a soft chuckle added to his voice and it does nothing but increase the turmoil wrecking in your mind. Finally, he fully turn around to face you, though his eyes remain cold."I almost forgot how good it sounds coming from you."

"Wha-...Louis? What's going on here?" Your breathing increasing drastically, your head has no idea what it's supposed to do with all of this adrenaline and anxiety. "E-everything's going so fast, I...I don't know what's going on. Where were you? What happened? Why are you quitting drama club? A-Are you dropping out?"

But he doesn't answer, remaining as still as a statue. Damn, how badly you want to punch that stupid smirk off his face. The silence is suffocating.

"Please answer me, Louis!"

"The world is filled with Lies, Y/n," He begins, breaking eye contact and instead staring off into the distance, whilst your mind drowns itself further and further in this madness. "Herbivores are forced to adopt shallow lifestyles and are fated to be eaten alive."

What is he talking about? None of this is making any sense!

He returns his focus to you, catching you off guard when he steps closer and stops just a few inches away from you. "I will not lose to anyone. I will believe only in myself and obtain true strength once and for all. Co-existence and co-prosperity...are created through mutual conflict."

You flinch out of reflex when he touches you, holding your chin tenderly in his hands. Still, you feel no comfort from this action, or from his smile. "Soon, you'll understand that, Y/n. Goodbye for now."

And then he walks away, leaving you stunned, frozen and worst of all, hurt. As he disappears around the corner, your mind loses itself in the darkness this mess brings with it.

Another friend of yours has left you and apparently, you're not worth an actual answer. Are you really that bad of a friend that people feel the need to flee from you like you're the plague?

First it was Haru and it was pure luck that the two of you rekindled your relationship. Then there were your roommates, who you hurt without meaning to.

And now Louis? Sure, you got off on the worst foot possible, but your friendship was good, wasn't it? Or are you just a terrible person without realizing it, dragging everyone else into the void with you?

Is there something wrong with me?

"Hey?" A deep, familiar voice calls to you as a hand soothingly rubs your upper arm. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Glancing up, you meet the dark eyes of Legoshi, looking down at you in concern. "Y-yeah...I'm fine. I'm just a bit...shocked, I guess? Louis, he just...he just left."

The wolf ponders for a second, his ears dropping at the obvious sadness lacing your tone.

Okay, how do I cheer her up? Come on, Legoshi, think, think...

Your eyes are still glued to the place the deer disappeared from, moisture filling them at the self-doubt lacing your heart. Fortunately for you though, Legoshi's a good comforter.

A sweet kiss is pressed against your cheek, eliciting a small giggle from you as he kisses the same spot again and again whilst his arms gently hold you, keeping you from escaping his lovely attempt at cheering you up.

"Wolfie!" You giggle, the affectionate gesture bringing warmth to your head and taking your mind off of the bizarre red deer. "Stop it, you big doofus!"

Swiftly taking matters into your own hands, you grasp his chin gently and press your lips against his. The soft sound of his tail swishing from side to side behind him brings a smile to your face, the fluffy appendage sometimes hitting your leg on accident. He leans into the kiss, a deep comfort-growl resonating from his throat.

To be entirely fair, you're still a little perplexed by how easily you're able to kiss him. You would've thought his long, canine snout would be a problem but surprisingly, it's not. It requires a little more angling from your head and it's a little weird, but it could be weirder. Although the knowledge that he could probably accidently choke you to death with a tongue-kiss gone-wrong is slightly concerning.

The two of you break away, lightly gasping for air as you look into one another's eyes. You enjoy seeing the sparkles in his dark pupils after every kiss you share. He straightens up, laying his hands on your waist as his ear flicks in an adorable manner. "Do you want to go to the wolf room together? Since today's 'Territory day' and we still have our biology hour to do."

"Oh," You muse, "I totally forgot that was today. I seem to forget a lot of things today..."

"You didn't forget my 'good-morning' kiss."

"Cause it's impossible to forget that, Wolfie." Gently, you grab his hand and interlock your fingers before you begin to lead the way. "Let's get going then."

The hallways aren't as crowded as before, though you raise your eyebrows every time Legoshi weirdly stares after another herbivore with a set of antlers. You're guessing that he's also wondering about what's going on with Louis, though you're still a bit confused by that.

Before the meteor festival, these guys were pretty neutral with one another, mixed with a little bit of toxic-male tension. Then they fought when you were kidnapped and Louis vanishes for two months, only to come back and leave his greatest passion behind. Whatever kind of bond your boyfriend and the stag have with one another is confusing the hell out of you.

By the pondering look on his face, he's probably trying to decipher what Louis meant when he addressed him earlier in the drama club. And unbeknownst to you, he is doing exactly that. Letting you lead the way to the wolf room, the tall canine absentmindedly stares off into nothing-ness.

"My, how the tables have turned, Legoshi." What did he mean by that?

I've never seen Louis-senpai act that way before...If he's going through hard times, I want him to tell me. I was so happy to see him again...

I hope he's not dropping out...maybe he got a job or something.

Suddenly, his dark eyes fall onto the female grey wolf walking in front of you and Legoshi sees his chance to find out more about the entire situation involving Louis. Though by doing that, he's also absolutely oblivious to your clear dislike of the female canine.

"Hey, Juno-san. Are you going to the wolf room, too?"

Legoshi? Sending him a questioning glance, you remain quiet as you continue to follow Juno, seeing as you're most likely all going to the same destination. How are you this oblivious?

"S-So what?!" The grey wolf yells, her ears twisted in irritation and quite frankly, you enjoy annoying her. Yes, you are still holding a grudge, so you let Legoshi do the talking for you. "Oh, well, we're going there, too. Why don't we go together?"

"So..." He starts hesitantly as you descend down the stairs, instinctively keeping a close eye on you and readying himself to catch you in case you trip and fall. "I wanted to talk about Louis-Senpai...What are your thoughts? In fact, do you know what's happening to him?"

Your inner troll dances around cheerfully when you notice Juno getting more and more frustrated with every word coming out of Legoshi's mouth. Then abruptly, she turns around to face the both of you once you've reached the end of the stairs, stopping right in front of the wolf room.

"Stop trying to play with my heart!" Her voice is loud, echoing through the mostly empty hallway. "Ever since I confessed to you in the meteor festival, I can't look you in the eye anymore. I was so desperate and embarrassed back then...but then, you...gave me a vague answer and left me."

"You are strong! I want you to stay manly and support everyone but without hurting other people. See you!"

"I want you to think about how I felt when you glossed over my confession..." You are so close to tearing her head off with some heartfelt logic but honestly, you're tired. Your interaction with Louis exhausted you, so you'll wait until this is over and let Legoshi handle it. Then you'll decide whether you need to remind her that she's a terrible person or not.

Glancing up at your boyfriend, you find him as unbothered as always.

Well shoot, I wasn't trying to gloss over anything. I meant everything I said. But I didn't know that was a 'confession'...I don't think anyone would see it that way. I mean, Juno-san liking me...? After she emotionally hurt Y/n with her speech?

"Now I understand..." Juno's voice brings him out of his thoughts and you quirk an eyebrow when you see the tears in her eyes, not an ounce of sympathy in you. "My love for you has lost to your Hatred of your own species...That's why you chose this human girl, isn't it? B-But even though I've lost, I'm not done yet. That's why I want you to reject me! Right here, right now!"

She starts full on crying now, loudly sniffing like a kicked puppy. As Legoshi freaks out and pulls out a tissue for her, ever the gentleman, you simply roll your eyes and sigh. "Don't cry, Juno-san. I don't think I've got the right to say this...but I think we're pretty alike...we're both stubborn and overbearing, b-but in a good way. I think you should calm down so we can talk this over."

"I can't calm down or talk to you!"

Geez, this is pathetic. Just a moment ago, she wanted him to formally reject her but how is he supposed to do that when she won't talk to him? Guess I really do need to step in....good, cause she really has some nerve talking about this with me right next to him. The hypocrisy is unbelievable.

"Alright Legoshi, I'll take care of this." Gently, you push him a few steps behind you and take his place in front of the other wolf, who finally lifts her head to glare at you with wet, periwinkle eyes. Your face remains neutral, not faking a smile whilst also not giving into your desire to be petty and mock her with a condescending sneer.

"He doesn't really have to formerly reject you anymore, seeing as he's my boyfriend now. We're in a relationship, deal with it. People who act like love and relationships are a game that they can lose or win aren't meant for that kind of stuff to begin with, you definitely have some issues you need to work through on your own first."

Taking the tissue from Legoshi, you forcefully hand it to her. "Here, take this. But you should also know that Legoshi's one hell of an oblivious idiot sometimes, so unless you tell him your feelings directly, he has no idea what you're talking about. Though it is pretty stupid to think that there's a chance he'd accept a confession after you deliberately humiliated me and exploited my trauma for your own gain. It was pretty obvious that him and I are close and he's too good of a guy to romantically go out with someone who hurts others for their own benefit. Especially when you didn't bother asking him about any of it either, or what he experienced when he fought the Shishigumi."

In the most passive-aggressive manner you can manage, you pat her shoulder. "You really need to work on being a better person first, Juno. That was just incredibly inconsiderate of you."

I swear to Ben's potato chips, if she argues now I will literally slap her-

But thankfully, she remains quiet and instead only glares at you through her thick lashes. You send her one last telling look before grabbing your boyfriend's hand and entering the wolf room, Juno following close behind.

What you didn't expect to see was an onslaught of happy, laughing canines cheerfully conversing with one another. Every other time you were here, it was quiet; the room lacked any sort of companionship and social behaviour that you'd usually see in wolves. But alas, Cherryton's wolves are joyfully spending their territory time together.

"Oh, it's Juno!" A male wolf, cute spots decorating his cheeks, walks up to your trio with his arm around his friend and begins to talk to the female wolf standing next to you. "I wanted to talk to you! You did a great job at the meteor festival! I don't know the details but you gave a speech about a male wolf who saved a human's life, right?"

Swiftly and almost unnoticeable, the male glances at you before shifting his gaze back to Juno. However, you saw the spark of resentment in his eyes. "That's awesome! We're moved by you!"

"Huh? Moved? What do you mean?"

Wow, I didn't know exploiting other people's trauma to further your agenda is something honourable now. Note the sarcasm.

Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them.

"Herbivores are seeing us in a better light."

"Their faces don't change even if I get within one meter in their space! This has gotten me way less stressed."

"It's because you showed them what carnivores can really do. You've got your own fan club, which is 30% herbivores."

The male, brightly smiling, grasps Juno's shoulder, making her other shoulder lightly brush against yours. "It's all thanks to you!"

It's weird to have people talk about this right in front of you.

You're definitely happy that carnivores aren't being seen solely as monsters anymore and that the different species are beginning to put their differences aside. But the response to your own reaction to Juno's use of your kidnapping showed you the terrible faces of the world that you were all too familiar with.

During the summer break, your emotional outburst was labelled as too extreme, unnecessary and unjustified. People said you shouldn't have 'overreacted', that you've crossed a line and that you were the one in the wrong because 'Juno was just trying to help!'. There weren't many but you even received death threats in the form of notes or nasty phrases thrown after you by carnivores and herbivores alike, though you kept that information from Legoshi. You didn't want him to worry and most of all, he shouldn't get into trouble because of you if he decided to confront them.

But all of that proofed to you that in reality, people don't care about what happened to you. They don't care about the fact that you almost died or that you still see that lion's disgusting face in your nightmares sometimes. You were just another potential victim that was used to spread an agenda. To those people, you weren't a person. You were an object, not someone with feelings of your own.

Just another pawn to throw into the trash whenever they see fit.

Once more, it proofed that this reality isn't much different from the one you left behind all those months ago.

"I'm so glad..." Juno smiles, her eyes twinkling. You however, feel like throwing up. "I had no idea."

"You know, we went to the herbivore dorm and some herbivores passed by and said Hi to us! Normally, they'd glare at us."

To your surprise, Juno turns to Legoshi as the other wolves converse amongst themselves, though you feel her eyes boring into your skin. "Hey Legoshi-senpai...you said we're similar, that we're both stubborn and overbearing, right? I'll admit that I'm stubborn... but there's no one more overbearing than you are."

Oh no! She did not just say that! This bitch-

"Y/n, calm down." Legoshi's soothing voice whispers in your ear as you send a venomous glare towards the female grey wolf. Moving his hand from your own onto your elbow, you respond through gritted teeth, "You're going to need to hold me back, Wolfie, because otherwise, I'll slap this dumbass into the next fucking year. Who the hell does she think she is?!"

"It's fine-"

"No it's not!" You cut him off, turning to stare into his eyes. "She's so wrong...about everything when it comes to you! You're not overbearing in the slightest! And unlike her, you're kind, caring and stupid enough to risk your own life for others. She can't just insult you and get away with it!"

He's silent for a moment until a smile forms on his face, a teasing gleam in his eyes as he lovingly kisses your forehead. "You're being so protective...it's cute."

You can't help the heat that fills your face, a childish, flustered pout making up your expression as you hold his intense eye contact.

"Because I love you, dummy. I can't just let her insult you!"

"I love you, too." He gently caresses your upper arm, leaning his forehead against the top of your head and inhaling your scent, something that he told you comforts him immensely. "But it's fine, really. I don't feel insulted. I have you, so I don't really care what others think about me."

Grumbling in defeat, you sigh. "Fine."

"So, is it true that you're gonna be the next Beastar?!"

Oh you've got to be kidding me!

"Aw, it's too early to decide." Juno responds with false humbleness, whilst the unfamiliar male wolf basically overflows with excitement. "Awesome! Can you imagine a female wolf being chosen as the leader of the student body?! Louis isn't in school anymore, so it's actually possible! In fact, she should have it in the bag."

So now, we're the rebels and...what? She's supposed to be justice? Alright then...

Glaring at the back of Juno's head, you let your boyfriend lead you to a pair of empty seats whilst his tail wags behind him.
But your eyes, burning with fury, stay locked on the she-wolf's head and eventually, she turns her head to you.

Cold periwinkle meets burning e/c.

Let's see how long you'll last until this world swallows you whole, too.

***

Heyho Homies! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it had some deer boi in it!

As we have learned, I'm an author whose word should not be tursted because I can't organize my time to save my life(~￣³￣)~

I updated my other story a lot because I had more motivation for that plot but I was mostly working on studying, sleeping, having a fucked up psyche, working on OCs and spending the holidays with my family. So I made this Chapter twice as long!

Also, happy late New Years! Let's see what 2021 has in store for us!

Now first, to the update schedule.
For the next three weeks, I will be busy writing my final exams (the big three of my a- levels /Abitur). Quite literally, my first one is in two days. So in between that time, there won't be an update on this story, possible on my Hawks story so I can explain the situation there too.
I will be finished on the 20th of January and will have at least 8 free days from then on. So in that time, I'll write a lot!

Not gonna lie, I am scared as fuck! I am so emotionally distraught that I broke down crying because of a small argument I had with my dad during Poker. Poker. For two cards. They weren't even good!

So yeah, that's what's going on with me.

Now, I also have a friendly book suggestion for everyone who's interested in reading an informative, wholesome lgbtqa+ book!
The story is called "Campfires and Rainbows" by Aurelia2873 here on wattpad. It's a nice story to read and made me really happy because there aren't many good books with lgbtqa+ representation. So if you're interested, please check it out and give the author some love!

You'll also find some of my comments on there.

Also, the new Opening for Beastars seaoson 2 is FIRE so I need y'all to listen to it too, if you haven't already. It is immaculate.

Anyways, I hope y'all are safe and sound and healthy during these tragic times!

I'll see y'all in Chapter 49!