Present day October 2018

I hadn't slept , my mind felt like it was about to explode. I couldn't believe she didn't tell me Hayden hadn't woken up , she'd kept that astronomical secret from me for 4 years how could any mother do that to her child. The images of him being wheeled into the back of the ambulance kept replaying in my mind  I'd have never imagined that would've been the last time I'd ever see my best friend.

I decided I wanted answers , she at least owed me that I'd been kept in the dark for far too long , I was an adult for fuck sake I should have the right to know where my best friend was buried. Shrugging a cardigan on I made my way downstairs , I had no idea what I was going to say to her but I was determined to get the answers I deserved. I knew I should've done this years ago when she first moved us out to Riverside but everything about the move and the stay in rehab had me feeling overwhelmed , but I was stronger now I wasn't a little girl anymore and I wasn't going to stop until I got what I wanted.

"Good morning , Lucia. How did you sleep?" My mother asked as I walked into the kitchen

"Fine thanks." I murmured

"Breakfast?"

"No thanks." I reply

"Is everything okay? You seem a little glum this morning"

"Yup , everything just peachy." My voice was laced with sarcasm and my patience with her was starting to thin.

"Got anything nice planned for today?" She asked as she placed two slices of bread in the toaster.

"No , to be honest mum I'm not really up for idle chit chat this morning." I snap

"Lucia , watch your tone!" What's gotten into you today?"

"Hmm , let me think. It might have something to do with not telling me that my fucking best friend died!" I shout , my patients with her finally snapping.

"I thought I told you not to bring this up again , I made it very clear yesterday that you weren't to mention another word about that boy."

" That boy , has a fucking name." I scream at her , I was past angry I was livid with her. How could anyone be so heartless?

"Watch who you're talking to missy , you might be an adult but -"

I cut her off "yeah I still live under your roof , sadly."

"You're acting like a moody teenager." She scoffs

"No , I'm acting like somebody who just found out that their best friend died 4 years ago and knew nothing about it."

"I did it for your own good. I knew what would happen if I'd told you would've rushed strait back there and your life would've been ruined. Like it almost was"

"I deserved the right to know that he'd died , he would've wanted me there. I should've been there to say goodbye to him." My voice wavered slightly

"He was a drug addict Lucia , he had it coming."

"You fucking bitch." It was the first time I'd ever said something like that to my mum , but I didn't care. At this moment in time I didn't care what I said to her , not after what she'd said about Hayden. She'd hated him ever since the night of the accident but what she didn't understand was that I was my own person , nobody forced me to do anything and I knew what I was getting into.

"Apologise this instant."

"You must be joking." I laughed , my voice void of any humour "you're sick."

"Get out of my sight , I'm done with this conversation."

"Were done when I say we are." I shout "tell me where he's buried , you at least owe me that."

"No. Now I won't tell you again get out of my sight."

"This isn't over." I say as I leave the kitchen.

I knew I shouldn't have let my temper get the better of me , I just couldn't help it. The woman was infuriating , our relationship had never been the same since I got out of rehab , I know she thought what she was doing was right but to this day I still think it was totally over the top. I'd never get those 30 days I spent shut in that building back , it's not that greenwood was a bad place it was just that my stay in there was completely and utterly pointless. I knew I didn't have a problem and to this day I stand by that , it was a stupid faze me and my friends went through , there were way more people doing much harder shit than we were Christ there were people jacking themselves up on heroin for Christ sake all we ever did was pop a few pills and sniff some coke. It was never an addiction for me it was only something I did at parties , I never fantasised about my next high or anything like that it was purely for a buzz but she just didn't understand that.

I flopped down on my bed and pulled out my phone , was I hell going to stay in this house with that woman. Quickly composing a text to two of my friends from university I hit send.

To: Lilly , Amanda

From : Lucia

Hey girls , fancy a night out? If so

Meet at our usual bar at around 6pm?x

Grabbing my laptop I decide to take matters into my own hands , if she won't tell me where Hayden's buried I'll find out myself. Typing Oakland death records into google , I click search. For the next 2 and a Half hours I comb through all of the death records released by the morgue in my old town , frustratingly I find nothing. What if he wasn't buried back in Oakland ?"How could I be so fucking stupid." I mumble ,how could I have forgotten about his mum. When Hayden was 13 he lost his mum to breast cancer , it was a horrible time for everyone involved especially him. I'd never met the woman but from what he'd told me Samantha was an amazing woman and he loved her dearly. His parents were divorced but by all accounts he got along with his step dad really well and visited them regularly . "If he wasn't buried in Oakland he must have gone where ever they buried his mum." I murmured , but the problem is I had no idea where she was. Hayden had never told me where they'd buried her , it was always a taboo topic between the two of us , even when we were older his mum was never spoken about.

Thankfully a few moments later my phone buzzed.

To: Lucia

From : Lilly , Amanda

Lilly - sure girl , see you soon !

Amanda - I'll be there <3

I smiled to myself , I could always count on those too cheer me up. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table , 1:30 pm I still had a few hours to kill before I had to start getting ready so I decided to have a good old Netflix binge to pass the time.

After applying the finishing touches to my face I took a step back and critiqued my appearance , not bad for someone who barely leaves the house. Grabbing my clutch and phone I make my way down the stairs and towards the front door. "And where do you think you're going young lady." My mother's voice came from somewhere behind me.

"Out." I replied simply as I reached for the door handle , only a few more steps to go and I'm free.

"You know the rules , Lucia."

"What the rules that youset when I was 17? I'm 21 years old now , you can't tell me what to do." She was referring to the no alcohol rule that had been put in place as soon as I'd gotten out of rehab , I'm more that sure she thought if I was aloud an ounce of fun I'd go of the rails and pull a 2007 Brittany spears. "When you live under my roof I can." She replied.

"Fine then , I'll move out." With that I left the house , slamming the door behind me.

"Hey girls." I call out as I make my way over to the booth that my two friends had occupied.

"Hey Luce." The girls reply

"Who's getting the first round in then?" Amanda asks

"I will." I reply "you both having your usual?"

"Yeah." They reply in union. Thankfully there wasn't a que at the bar and I got served relatively quickly.

"What can I get for you." The man behind the bar asks

"Can I have , one double vodka and red bull , one double vodka lemonade and a double vodka and Diet Coke and a tray of jaeger bombs please."

"Coming right up." The man replies. I turn around and watch the small number of people who were dancing up a storm at the other end of the room , out of the corner of my eye I see a man take the spot next to me at the bar . I couldn't help but stare at him slightly , I was more than sure I'd seen him somewhere before but I couldn't put my finger on where.

"£10.50 , miss." the man behind the bar said as he placed the last glass in front of me. Just as I was about to make my way back to the booth my eyes met with the man next to me and I swear my heart stopped for a moment.

"L-Lucia?" He asked

"Ricky?"

"I can't believe it's really you." He began "where the fuck have you been?!"

"God Ricky , I'm so so sorry I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am." I reply. I could feel the tears starting to fall , placing the tray back down on the bar I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist. "I've missed you so much rick , I really have. Fuck , I'm so sorry for everything. They wouldn't let me say goodbye , I wouldn't have left you without saying goodbye."

"I know , babe. God I can't believe this is really happening. Do you think we could go somewhere quiet to talk ?, there's a hell of a lot I need to catch you up on."

A/N

Hope you all enjoy chapter 3. If you do please remember to vote/comment , every little bit of support is appreciated !x