Chapter 1
Present day October 2018
"Thank you so much , I'll see you Monday. Bye." I let out a monumental scream as I end the call. Holy shit , I actually did it. I actually got a job offer at Brooks Inc. I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to find my parents and tell them the good news. "Good morning , Lucia. You seem happy this morning." My mum comments as I pull out a chair at the breakfast bar. "I've just gotten off the phone with one of the managers from Brooks Inc. They heard that I'd finished university and they want to employ me , I start Monday." I squeal
"Oh honey , that's amazing. I can't wait to tell your father when he gets home , he should be here any minute , the poor man's been working nights." She replies , glancing at the large clock beside the fridge. "Aside from your amazing news , how have you been honey? It feels like I've barley had chance to talk to you since you finished university , you've been so busy."
"I'm good yeah , I'm sorry I haven't been around much. It's been super hectic trying to find a decent job , not many of the companies I'd applied for take on university graduates. I'm guessing Brooks Inc. liked how I performed on placement."
"Anyone can see that , Luce. Your end of year review from them was absolutely flawless , I'm surprised they waited this long to contact you."
I laughed "I've only been out of university for 3 weeks mum."
"I know" she replied "me and your father are just so proud of you , and to think you'd never have gotten into business if you'd never visited Greenwood."
As soon as the words Greenwood left her lips I stiffened. "I thought I told you not to mention that place again." I spat , she knew better than to mention my not so brief stint in rehab to me. Just hearing the name of the building where I was forced to 'talk about my feelings' and 'detox myself from all of the crap I'd been pumping into my body' rubbed me up the wrong way and immediately sent me into a foul mood. "Lucia!" My mother gasped "watch your tone young lady , you may be 21 years old but I'm still your mother and you live under my roof so watch who you're speaking too!."
"Whoa , what's with all the shouting." My father asked as he walked into the kitchen to join us , I was still glaring at my mum and she was sending the same look straight back at me , I guess that's a trait I got from her. "Well after I told mum how I'd just gotten a job offer from Brooks Inc. she went onto mention that if she'd never sent me to fucking rehab I'd never have gotten into the business world."
"Katherine , you know she doesn't like you mentioning that place." My father sighed as he set his briefcase down on the table.
"Why not Harold it's been 4 years? Why shouldn't I be able to talk about the place that saved our only daughters life , if I'd never have moved us away from Oakland and put Lucia in rehab she would have been as good as dead by now. It was the best decision I ever made for this family"
"You're being dramatic , Katherine. Like Luce said all those years ago , it was just a phase." My father replied as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder , I could always count on him to take my side when my mother was being an irrational lunatic.
They continued to bicker back and forward between each other for a while but I couldn't hear a thing. The only thing I could concentrate on was one simple word , Oakland.
Then it all came back to me. Fuck , how could I have forgotten. I promised myself the day I left there I wouldn't ever forget about my old life , but somehow over the countless hours of therapy and distracting myself with education and the need to find a job I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten about everything , even him. "Hayden." I murmured as a single tear rolled down my cheek.
"What did you say." My mum asked , her face had turned a ghastly shade of white.
"Hayden." I repeated "I can't believe I forgot him , I promised myself I'd never forget about him." I cried
"I thought I told you to never mention that name again." My mother's voice was deathly quiet
"He was my best friend , and you made me forget him!" I screamed back at her , I don't think I'd ever been this angry before In my life. "I need to go and see him , he needs to know I'm okay." I began , I was on the verge of hysteria I hadn't had a panic attack in years but I could feel one looming over me. I was never this irrational but my mind and body were running on auto pilot.
"Sit down this instant , you will do no such thing. Getting you away from that boy was the best thing for you. He was a filthy addict and just because he wanted to throw his life away doesn't mean he had to drag you down with him. Hayden Williams was a trouble maker." My mother's words were harsh and final but I'd find a way to see him , he had to know I was okay.
I sunk back down into the chair and closed my eyes,Christ how could I have let myself forget.After not thinking about the town I grew up in for almost 5 years , the memories I'd made there staying firmly locked away in the deepest parts of my mind. I'd finally remembered and all of them came flooding back to me, the countless parties , limitless amounts of alcohol and drugs and the ugly and painful come downs the next day. I could forgive myself for forgetting all of that but not Hayden , forgetting about him was the worst thing I'd ever done and I'd never forgive myself for doing so.
"Please mum , let me just say goodbye to him. I didn't get to see him when we left , I don't have to tell him where we are but please let me speak to him one last time. Dad tell her , she needs to let me speak to him , I left him and I didn't even say goodbye." I was usually above having to grovel and beg for what I wanted but if it meant talking to Hayden one last time I would get on my knees and beg until I was blue in the face.
"Katherine , just let her talk to the boy. What damage can one little phone call do?." My father asked
"NO! , I told you once and I'm not telling you again Lucia."
"Why the fuck not?" I shouted "I'm an adult , I don't need to ask for your permission."
"You'll have a hard time finding him."
"Why?" I spat
"He's dead Lucia , he never woke up." She snapped "the boy was as good as dead anyway even before the accident, I don't want to hear any more about this. Go upstairs and calm yourself down , you're behaving like a deranged child ."
"Where's his grave?" I ask frantically "he's out there all alone I need to say goodbye."
"I SAID ENOUGH , LUCIA." She was angry , but I didn't care. My whole world had just collapsed around me and I had no idea what I was going to do.
I ran out of the kitchen as fast as my legs could carry me. No no no he can't be dead he just can't beI repeated the sentence over and over again until I reached my room. Slamming the door I walk over to the walk In wardrobe and start searching for the box containing the last few items I had from my old life back in Oakland. "Gotcha." I murmur as I find the shoebox and pull it from its hiding place. Walking over to my bed I place the box down next to me , hesitating for a moment I lift the lid and what I see almost breaks my heart completely.
Various photos of me and my old friends in school and at the parties we used to go to greeted me as I tipped the contents of the box onto my bed. I recognise the faces of Kiara and Poppy , my two best friends we'd go everywhere together I smiled at the memory. I shuffled through some more photos and found some of me and my Gay best friend Rick , god how could I have forgotten you? I asked myself as I skimmed through the rest of the photos. However what I really wanted was in the medium sized envelope lying under the pile of old photos, I turned it over and almost burst into tears when I saw my name written in beautiful cursive writing. A 17th birthday present from Hayden , the last one he'd ever given me. I gently pried open the envelope and tipped out the contents into my lap.
I picked up the dog tags that I used to wear religiously before I moved away , I turned them over and ran my thumb over the engravings on the back Hayden + Lucia 4 ever. I slipped the chain over my head and vowed to myself that I'd never ever take the necklace off again. I picked up the second gift he'd gotten me that year , an A4 sized photo of me and him all cuddled up on the sofa at his dads house. I remembered when the photo was taken , it was the morning after one of his friends birthday party. We both looked a little worse for wear due to a mixture of a killer hangover and a come down from whatever we'd both taken that night. However it was my favourite photo of the two of us and I was just glad to still have it with me.
Clutching the dog tags in my one hand and the photo in the other I sunk down into my bed and for the first time in a long time I aloud myself to properly cry , for the first time in over 5 years I sobbed hysterically for what could have been. I cried for the best friends I'd left behind after I moved , I cried for the life I missed out on and most importantly I cried for Hayden. I spent the rest of the day locked away in my room , I couldn't bring myself to face them , it felt like my heart had been torn from my chest.
Long after my parents had gone to bed I was led awake staring out into the darkness , maybe I should've done more to get in contact with everyone and then maybe I'd have been able to visit Hayden's grave. Lying there in the darkness I made a promise to myself , I'd find him and give him the goodbye he deserves.
A/N
Please vote/comment if you enjoyed the first chapter of my new book! updates are going to be posted weekly , the update schedule might be a little rocky for the first few weeks but ultimately I want to put out a chapter every week on a Wednesday. However , I'll be posting the second chapter to the book strait after this one :-)
Make sure you Add Love , Drugs & Lies to your library so you don't miss out on an update !
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