Nitya

Entering the room, I see Prathamji forcefully opening and banging shut the drawers of the table at the right corner with barely controlled fury.

Each slam echoes loudly, making me flinch every time.

Feeling a knot of fear tightening in my stomach, I cautiously step closer to him. "Are you searching for something?"

"I had kept my red file on this table. I need to take that file to the factory now. Where is it?" He shouts, his voice laced with frustration.

I wince due to his loud voice, my hands trembling slightly as I clasp them together. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

"While cleaning the room earlier, I kept all the files in the bottom drawer. I thought—"

"It's better if you don't think about me or the things related to me," he interjects. "Take out the file and hand it to me right now."

Taking yet another breath to steady myself, I open the bottom drawer. His anger is intimidating, but I focus on the task, and quickly take out the file.

Standing up, I hold it out to him and he snatches it from my hand.

He then throws the file on the bed and takes few steps closer to me.

I take a step back, trembling due to his dark gaze on me.

"You had told me in the morning that asking about things clearly prevents from any misunderstandings to form. Do you remember?" He asks, his voice rough and strained with anger.

I swallow, feeling my fear rising with the cold tone in his voice. Unable to utter anything, I timidly nod.

"I'll ask you clearly then, Nitya. Why did you misbehave with my relatives today? Why did you insult them to such extent that they even left the house?" He asks, his tone accusatory.

I am shocked by his words. I never even talked with anyone the whole day. After doing the Puja, I made breakfast and lunch for everyone. Then, after everyone left, I was busy cleaning all the rooms as instructed by Maaji.

Although I found it weird that they left when they were supposed to stay for a few more days, I didn't get to ask anyone about it because I was so busy with all the chores.

After a few hours, when I had taken a break, wanting to eat something before continuing to clean, Maaji had shouted at me for trying to avoid the work and Chachiji had also taunted that I only know how to eat.

They even snatched the plate from me before I could put a morsel in my mouth.

"Answer me, Nitya," Prathamji demands, his voice slicing through the air.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I rapidly blink to stop them from pouring out. "I didn't misbehave with them, Prathamji."

He scoffs, turning away momentarily before spinning back around to face me. "So, you lie too?"

I shake my head vehemently, about to tell him I am not lying, but he doesn't let me speak.

"Maa has told me everything," he says. "Mamaji, Mamiji, and Buaji were supposed to stay here for one more week. But you talked so disrespectfully with them that they left in anger. They didn't even wait for Chachaji and me to return from the factory."

"Why would I disrespect them? Please believe me, Prathamji. I didn't do anything."

He steps closer, his eyes boring into mine, his presence overwhelming.

"You're still lying," he snaps. "Just because they told you a few things when your pallu slipped from your head, you insulted them? Maa told me that they nicely tried to make you understand without being too harsh or critical towards you. And yet, you misbehaved with them?"

My heart aches at his words, the pain of his mistrust cutting deep.

Everyone had taunted me in the morning, but I never uttered a word back. Even Maaji had harshly pinned my pallu to my head. Yet, I didn't say anything to anyone. I quietly took their taunts, no matter how much they hurt me.

I choke back a sob, and as I close my eyes, a lone tear slides down my cheeks.

I want to deny the accusation that Prathamji is hurling at me. Want to tell him that Maaji lied to him.

But what's the use?

He'll obviously not believe the girl he has been married to for just a day over his mother. And what will I say if he asked why would his mother lie to him when even I don't know the answer to it.

Does Maaji hate me to the extent that she is intentionally doing all this to hurt me? But why? What have I done to her that she is being mean and rude to me since the morning?

"Look at me, Nitya," Prathamji says, and I whip my head at him, surprised by his soft voice.

He takes a step toward me, raising his hands to perhaps to hold my arms, but I take a step back, feeling too vulnerable at the moment to let him touch me.

Sighing, he lowers his hand.

"I'll clarify one thing with you. My family is important to me. And being your husband, I expect you to treat them as your own. It will make me happy if you respect them and properly fulfill all your responsibilities of being a daughter-in-law of this house."

The pain in my chest intensifies, and I feel each word from his mouth like a wave crashing over me.

He said his family is important to him. Don't I come in that family too? After all, I'm his wife. I'm the one who left my home, my parents, my brother, my village, everything behind, trusting him to take care of me.

And here he is. Berating me for no fault of mine. Not even asking if I am comfortable here. If I have eaten anything since the morning.

My stomach lowly grumbles, reminding me of my hunger, and the aches in my muscles reminds me of all the house works that I have been doing since the morning. That too without anyone's help.

The only time I rested was for five minutes after the Puja when I drank a cup of tea.

"Are you understanding what I am trying to say?" He stares at me, the remnants of his anger still etched in his features.

I simply nod at him, not wanting to share my turmoil with him.

If he didn't believe when I told him I never misbehaved with his relatives, why would he trust me if I said I have not been allowed to eat anything since the morning?

Instead of trusting my words, he might get angrier, thinking I am trying to put his mother in a bad light.

Also, I'm too tired to say anything else. It's better I accept and nod rather than trying and failing to prove my innocence.

He gives me a small smile, but I don't smile back. Only lower my head, and turn away from him.

I ball my hands into fists, trying my best to hold back my tears.

Is this what every woman have to bear this after their marriage? Will I live my whole life like this now?

No. I can't live like this. I can't.

Wiping my tears, I turn back to Prathamji, hoping to try one more time to tell him the truth.

But the moment I swivel toward him, more tears gather in my eyes. Because he is no longer there. He had already left.

*****

The house is eerily quiet as I nervously descend the staircase, feeling scared as to what everyone must be thinking of me.

After Prathamji left, I slumped to the floor of the room and sobbed for some time. But due to the hunger and tiredness of the whole day, I didn't realize when I dozed off.

I was mortified when I looked at the clock in the room and realized I slept off for the whole three hours.

What must everyone be thinking of me? I have not even cooked dinner yet.

Not only the others, but Prathamji must be angry too. After all, he had told me earlier to take care of his family and fulfill my responsibilities toward them.

I reach the bottom of the stairs, but the silence and the emptiness of the house feel unsettling.

They might be in the kitchen. It's time for the dinner, after all.

I head to the kitchen, but there is no one inside.

With my frown deepening, I saunter to the courtyard, and find no one is there too.

Where did everyone go?

I'm about to enter the house from the courtyard when someone calls me from behind.

Whirling around, I head to the main gate and open it.

An elderly lady, seeming to be of Maaji's age, was standing on the threshold.

"You must be Nitya. The younger daughter-in-law of Devika Didi, right?" She asks, smiling at me.

"Yes." I nod at her. "But I didn't recognize you."

"How would you recognize me when we have not met before today? I am Nirmala, and that's my house." She points to the house right in front of ours.

I ponder on whether or not to invite her inside. No one seems to be in the house. And without them to vouch for her, how can I believe she is telling the truth?

I didn't see her in the wedding, and after coming here, I didn't notice her in any of the post wedding rituals too.

As if reading my mind, she begins to say, "I could not attend your wedding because I had gone to my daughter's house. She recently gave birth to my granddaughter.

"I returned from there today, and about an hour back, I had come here to distribute the sweets. Everyone was about to leave then, citing that they have decided to eat out today. When I asked where Pratham and his new bride are, Devika Didi told me Pratham wasn't home and would also not be going with them because he's stuck in the factory due to an urgent work. And you were not going since you were not feeling well. How are you feeling now, Nitya? Are you feeling slightly better?"

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I feel my chest tighten, a mix of hurt and disappointment swelling inside me. "Yes. I feel better now," I lie, forcing a smile.

After all, I can't tell her that everyone didn't even bother to inform me about going out, let alone ask me to join them. As if they forgot about me being in the house.

Or they didn't ask me even though they remembered me because they didn't want to take me with them.

That thought brings a pang of pain in my heart, but I still keep a straight face, not wanting to cry in front of Nirmala kaki. It will only bring more questions my way. The questions of which I have no answers.

"Okay. Take care of yourself." She smiles at me and walks away.

As soon as she leaves, I close the main gate and slump against it, closing my eyes to let the tears fall.

A deep sense of loneliness and exclusion envelopes me as I stand slumped against the door.

Don't think negative, Nitya. They might have come to call you. But seeing you asleep, they must have decided not to wake you.

And Nirmala kaki was saying Prathamji also didn't go. If he were going, he would definitely have woken me up and taken me along.

I console myself, despite the ache in my chest telling me otherwise.

My head feels like it can burst any moment due to the hunger I feel right now. And my muscles are sore too. I have cleaned seven rooms today, scrubbing the floor of each room as well as the bathrooms. That too on an empty stomach.

After getting back inside the house, when I enter the kitchen, hurt and disappointment surges within me when I see only empty utensils in the table and the countertop. There was nothing to eat.

Sighing, I decide to prepare roti and a vegetable dish for Prathamji and me.

He too didn't go out with the family. So, he too would be hungry after returning from the factory.

When I try to open the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen to get the flour and the other needed ingredients, I find all of them to be locked. Even the fridge was locked.

So, there is nothing outside to eat, and I cannot cook anything to eat too.

Tears sting my eyes as I scan the kitchen and spot an earthen pot at a corner. Walking there, I get a glass of water and drink it in one go.

In my parents' house, Babuji and I had a strained relationship. But Maa and Bhaiyya used to pamper me to bits. Always taking care of me. Always making sure I eat properly and on time.

A sob escapes my lips when I recall the lovely and happy moments with them.

I miss you, Maa, Bhaiyya. I am feeling too lonely here without you.

Exiting the kitchen, I head to my room to spend another night drowning in the mixed feelings of hurt and restlessness.