Someone had conducted chemical experiments in her mouth, and the packed it with cotton. Blah. Darcy pried her eyes open. She had to stop with vodka overindulgence. But she had needed to unwind a little, and the vodka had helped. She was kinda fuzzy on the details, but she did remember making Jane blush till it looked like her head was gonna pop. That had been fun.

She dragged herself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. The face in the mirror was enough to frighten her – sleep puffed with a fright nest of hair. It looked like she'd had a fight with a rabid hedgehog and lost. Ugh.

A pounding hot shower and teeth brushing later, she felt human again. Mostly. She pulled on a ratty tee and torn jeans, and twisted her hair into a pony tail. A few minutes in the kitchen, and she was settling down on her sofa with scrambled eggs, toast, and a nice tall glass of milk. Mmmm...that went a long way toward easing the morning after feeling.

Between one bite and the next, she remembered that it was Saturday, and Loki was coming to see her. "Shit!" She finished up her breakfast quickly, and headed back to the bathroom. A girl's gotta look her best when the company is godly, and they'd probably be naked by the end of the night. No unsightly body hair or dry skin!

Boosting her body confidence took about two hours. Then it was time to raid her closet and dresser for clothing that was worth wearing. And taking off. What did gods like? She had no idea. Would he appreciate something slutty? Something demure? Considering what she'd been wearing the last time she saw him, anything would be an improvement.

Cell phones were lifesavers. She dialed Jane, hoping her friend would be awake and alert.

Of course she was. "Hey girl. Recovered from last night?" Jane's voice was a little scratchy, but otherwise sounded alert.

"I'm having a crisis, Foster. I've got a date with my lucky guy tonight, and I need clothing advice. Gimme some ideas. What does Thor like? Slutty do-me clothes? Prim and proper, normal Foster-wear? Playful prudish?"

She tapped her foot impatiently while listening to Jane choke with laughter. "C'mon Foster this is serious! I don't think I should look like Schlumpy Shelly again, but I'll do whatever the guys like. So tell me what gets Thor's loincloth all in a bunch!"

She heard a few hiccups over the phone as Jane finally recovered. "Oh god Darcy. He does not wear a loincloth!" She took a few breaths. "Playful prudish, I think. You should look like a tease, like your legs are glued together, but you really, really want him to want you."

Darcy 'eeped' in appreciation. "That's perfect! Thanks Foster! I'll gossip with you later."

"Don't wear him out, Darcy."

She rolled her eyes. "Won't happen. Later!"

She went through her clothes and under things in a flurry, trying to find that combination that said what she wanted it to. Playful prudish wasn't a look she usually did, so it took some effort, but she finally had what she wanted. Once dressed, she was at a complete loss for what to do next. She hadn't told Loki what time to visit, only that it shouldn't be later than 9:00.

After pacing for 30 minutes, Darcy flopped down onto her sofa in a huff. After another 30 minutes, she opened a bag of chips. Thirty minutes after that, she went after the ice cream.

Thor's tutelage in mortal dating customs had not included accepted attire. Loki intended on escorting Darcy to a fine establishment for dinner. His Asgardian clothing would simply not do, and he wanted the right look. He thought about consulting with Thor again, but his brother's wardrobe was fairly limited. Bruce Banner had the same boring scientist look every day, and Steve Rogers was still trying to fit in to the 21st century. But Stark usually dressed to the occasion, and Clint Barton didn't look too bad.

It took longer than anticipated to locate them. The Avengers were apparently on a mission. Loki appeared by Thor's side, and suppressed a smile as his brother jumped.

"Loki!" he whispered in surprise. "This is not a good time, brother. We suspect an invasion by a hostile alien species." He pointed straight ahead, through trees, to a dimly lit compound. There was a huge device at the edge of the compound, looking something like a giant centrifuge. It was spinning, crackling with energy.

He nodded thoughtfully. "Fascinating. I wish to consult with my minion, and Barton."

Stark was in his armor, and he turned to look at Loki. "Consult about what, Loki? If we're right, we're about to be in a pitched battle. Can it wait?"

"Not really, no. I am taking a lady friend to dinner, and I require apparel suggestions."

It was Steve Rogers who answered. "You're here to ask about clothes?"

"As I said, yes. Much as I hate to admit it, Stark is quite the appropriate dresser. What would you suggest, minion?"

"That depends. First date?" Stark popped open his helmet, flipping it up.

"Technically, yes."

"What does that mean?" Natasha asked curiously.

"We have had prior physical encounters. This will be our first planned foray into public."

Stark was opening his mouth to respond when hell broke loose. A shimmering portal winked into existence yards in front of them, in the middle of the device they had been observing. An army of alien creatures began walking out of that portal. They were tall, nearly frost giant size, with reptilian like green skin. There were a lot of them.

Loki frowned at the aliens, and curled his lip as Stark flipped his face plate back down. "Could you not spare some tidbits of advice before your battle?"

Barton snorted. "Are you serious? If you want fashion advice, help us."

He considered it. "If it is the only way you will share advice...."

The aliens spotted them, and strange looking weapons were drawn. The Avengers scattered as a hale of sizzling energy bolts shot their way. Loki deflected those that came at him, one of the many benefits of being adept with magic. There really were a lot of the aliens.

He sighed. "Fine. I will assist you."

It was midnight, and he hadn't come. Darcy had eaten almost everything in the apartment, trying to stave off the overwhelming feeling of being ignored. It was no big deal, right? It had happened all the time in her awkward teenage years. Well okay, even when she started college. Because guys were idiots, right? It wasn't like there was always a common denominator involved - herself. It was the guys. Right? She'd had her moments, few and usually far between, but she was a bit of major geek-dork, and most guys that she met didn't go for that. She'd thought that Loki was different, but apparently, he was just the same.

She curled up on the sofa, clutching a pillow to her chest. She hated the tears, and the thoughts that came with them. He was probably banging Natasha. She seemed more his type – wicked and dangerous. What was Darcy, but just a geek-dork assistant? S.H.I.E.L.D had forcibly relocated her to NYC after Thor's visit. She knew too much, and Coulson had bluntly told her that his agency kept its assets close, and its liabilities closer. She had no illusions about which she was.

She wanted to puke. It might help empty her bulging stomach of all the junk she'd put into it. Maybe she'd lose some weight and be more appealing to men then? She leaned over to snatch up a tissue, using it soak up the tears. This really sucked. She was tired of being overlooked.

A knock on the door startled her, and then made her very angry, because she knew who it was. "It is way past 9:00, jerk!" she called through the door. "I'm not here."

"Darcy please. I am very sorry." His voice was strangely subdued, and sounded almost weak. She gritted her teeth. Natasha must have worn him out.

"I said I'm not home. I went out to find a guy to bang. Someone normal who will just roll over when finished, say 'thanks babe', and take off."

She heard the knob turning, and wanted to smack herself. She'd been expecting him, so she hadn't locked the door. Well, she didn't even want to look at him, so she rolled over to press her face into the back of the sofa. Screw him. Or not, actually.

The slow dragging footsteps couldn't be his, could they? It sounded like a zombie moving toward her, one of those Resident Evil types. She started getting prickles on the back of her neck, imagining him bending over to totally gnosh on her and turn her into a zombie too.

"I didn't invite you in. You need to leave. I don't want to talk to you."

The zombie footsteps moved closer. "I am so sorry, Darcy. I meant to be here hours earlier." He sounded sincere, but also very winded.

"Yeah. That damn Natasha just couldn't be satisfied, could she? Wore ya right out?"

A thud sounded behind her. It sounded suspiciously like a body hitting the floor. "Loki? Loki?"

Well shit. She scrubbed her eyes with the tissue still clenched in one hand, and rolled over. Loki was on the floor. Unconscious. He looked like he'd been through a freaking war: clothes torn, with bloody cuts and dark bruises forming on his pale skin. His hair was a tangled, snarled mess. He was dirty, so filthy that she could see tracks where sweat droplets had run down his face.

"Oh my god!" She fell off the sofa, landing on her knees beside him. He was breathing; she could see the shallow rise and fall of his chest. But he was unconscious!

"Loki?"

Shit? What did she do with a god who'd had his ass handed to him? Maybe bend over and kiss her own ass goodbye, cuz anyone tough enough to beat the shit out of Loki was tough enough to destroy everything?

Darcy jumped to her feet and ran to the bathroom. She threw a towel into the sink and ran hot water over it. She squeezed it out only a little, and returned to the living room. He looked so helpless, collapsed in a sprawl on her floor. (bleeding on the carpet too, shit) What the hell had happened to him? She sat down cross legged, and lifted his head into her lap as gently as possible. Keeping her touch light, she bathed his face with the wet towel, removing blood and dirt.

Without the dirt and dried blood, his face was shockingly pale, and the bruises stood out in glaring contrast. His lips were slightly twisted, as if in a grimace of pain. Darcy twisted her hair back out of the way, and picked up one elegant hand. His fingertips looked scorched under the dirt and blood, as if he'd been playing with electricity, and they were curled into a claw shape. She carefully cleaned each hand, easing the fingers back into a normal position. Then she smoothed his hair back, bits of tree and bushes coming off in her fingers. What had happened?

Then she thought that maybe Thor might be targeted by whatever had torn Loki apart, and she had to warn Jane, so she called her friend.

"Darcy? It's late, and I have a bit of situation here, so can it wait?"

She heard Thor's voice in the background. "Darcy? I need to speak to her please." Then he was on the phone, and he sounded exactly like Loki had. "Darcy. I am happy that you have called."

"Thor, buddy, you sound terrible."

She could hear his slow, painful exhale. "I have felt better. We were on a mission, and it did not go as planned. But, to the reason I wished to speak to you...my brother was with us. He was in worst shape than I, and he withdraws from me when hurt. You are one of the very few mortals to know of us, and you are trustworthy. If you see him, please make sure he is all right. I believe he will be fine, but I worry for him, as he will be vulnerable till recovered."

"Is everyone okay?" Darcy asked, staring down at Loki. He withdrew from his brother, but came to her?

"Stark is badly hurt. He was overwhelmed, and the suit was grievously damaged while he was still inside it. He is with the best of doctors now. He would have died, we all would have perished, had it not been for Loki. He was there on a whim, but he stayed." Thor's choked voice betrayed his emotions. "He did not abandon us to our fate, but fought at our side. We fought back hundreds of alien warriors, and when Stark fell to them, Loki leaped into their midst, wielding magic and knives to free Tony. He expended what magic he had left to force the aliens back, and destroy their portal into this world. It drained him terribly; he appeared little more than a spirit when he took his leave of us."

Darcy felt all warm inside, and wasn't sure she could speak around the giant lump in her throat. "He looks terrible, Thor."

There was a long, long moment of silence. "He came to you?"

"Yeah. We've hung out a couple times. Got drunk together once. I think he trusts me. He passed out on my floor, big guy. He's bleeding on my carpet right now. Well....it's mostly stopped. He looks like hell."

She heard Jane sputtering in the background, and then she grabbed the phone. "Loki is with you?"

Darcy bit her lip. Thor wouldn't have made the connection between Loki's human interest and her, but Jane would. "Yeah. Like I told the big guy, Loki and I are drinking buddies. I guess he feels safe with me."

"Interesting. Take care of him, okay? He's starting to grow on me, and Thor would be devastated if anything permanent happened to him."

Darcy traced a finger down Loki's pain twisted face. "I will. If there's anything I can do to help with the Avengers, let me know. Will Tony be okay?" Stark was a pain in the ass, and a womanizing sonofabitch, but strangely endearing nonetheless.

Jane's voice was subdued. "Thor said...he doesn't know if Tony will make it." Her voice hitched. "He's not in good shape at all."

Darcy felt tears build. "Then I'll be saying prayers for him. I gotta scoot, Foster. I've got a bleeding, unconscious god on my living room floor, and I've got to get him patched up."

"Call us if you need anything. Thor will respect Loki's desire to be alone, but he'll come if you ask him."

Darcy nodded. "Yeah. This brother shit is confusing. I think it'll be okay, but I'll call if I need you."

She clicked off the phone and eased Loki's head back to the floor. The idea of him laying there in his torn, bloody clothes really bugged her, and it wasn't like she hadn't already seen him naked. She began removing his clothes. It must be some type of battle armor, made of stiffened leather and metal plating. The buckles that secured it were nearly destroyed, and she had to pick at them to get them to release. She cracked three nails in the process, ripping one of them off painfully. Nobody heard her yelp, but she could finally peel back the chest plate thingie. There were claw scratches in the metal that she didn't want to think about. They hadn't gone through, but Loki had been very close to being gutted.

She finally got the outer layer of armor completely off him, and worked on the softer clothing underneath, which was also torn and bloodied. She tried not to think of how badly it must have hurt him at the time. Even now, unconscious, his face was twisted in pain.

Finally, he was free of everything but what she imagined was the Asgardian version of briefs. Cute. She hopped up to get a bowl of warm water, and brought it over to the coffee table. She had never seen herself as a sponge bath type of girl, but it was amazing what one would do when inspired. The water was a dirty pink by the time she was done cleaning the dirt and blood from his lean frame. It was strange that two brothers could be so completely different. Thor was this sprawling, muscled mass, and Loki was lean and refined. One dark, and one blond. Blue eyes and green. Physical prowess, and magical. He was...unique. It gave her this mad tingling feeling to know that he'd chosen her to introduce him to the pleasures of the flesh. Maybe it had been vodka induced, but he kept coming back.

Some of the wounds looked bad, and she wondered if he'd heal at an accelerated rate, like Thor did. Stitching was out of the question, but she should at least try to close the wounds.

Darcy hopped up again, and went to raid her bathroom. She didn't have anything other than bandaids, and they wouldn't work. Oh well. Duct tape worked in a pinch. She had a small roll for emergency repairs, and it should work for pulling shut the edges of his worst wounds.

He didn't stir as she pinched the wounds shut, and tore off strips of duct tape with her teeth, using them like butterfly closures. He looked like a hip Frankenstein when she was finished, and she hoped that he would forgive her.

Then, at a loss of what else she could do, Darcy stretched out beside him on the carpet, pillowing her head on her arm so she could keep her eyes on him. Her very heavy eyes.

A gentle shake woke her. Darcy opened her eyes, and smiled when she saw Loki's face. The bruising had faded, and the wounds had closed and were beginning to heal already. He did heal much faster than normal. He was kneeling by her side, clothed once more in clean, normal looking human attire. Neat trick.

"Hi," she greeted softly.

He reached out to cup her cheek. "Thank you. I deserved nothing from you, yet you took care of me."

Darcy smile was a little fluttery. "Kinda like you didn't have to stick around to save the Avengers' butts?"

He frowned. "My brother has a big mouth. I am so sorry that I was not able to be here earlier, and I will make it up to you, but first I must see to Tony's recovery. Your mortal doctors cannot save him. He will not survive without my intervention." An amused smile warmed his face. "It's such a bother to have to replace a minion. I prefer not to have to. Besides, I could not bear the anguish should Pepper Potts lose him. One cannot understand why she loves him, but she does."

The hand cupping her cheek trailed down her arm, then turned palm up in an offer. Darcy slid her hand into his, and allowed him to pull her to her feet. The room spun maddeningly for a moment, but then stabilized.

"I will return when I have improved Stark's condition." He made a slight bow over her hand. "You are worthy, Darcy. Do not doubt that. The problem lies with the men of this realm." He blinked out of existence, leaving Darcy gaping. How had he known? And why was she feeling like she'd run a marathon on two hours of sleep and no food? As the room began to spin again, Darcy sank back to the floor, hoping for answers.

♾️ ♾️ ♾️

My baby is a hero. I'm crying. Writing this reminded me of how Loki gave his life away for Thor ( tho he's still alive). Watch me dive in my ocean of Post Infinity War depression.

Bye.

Love,
InfinityHaze ♾️