self versus self (@BaldurMoon)

self versus self


In the sense that I

Am not myself

But another

In my own body

I see myself

Through my enemy's eyes

Images reflected

Between infinite mirrors

And I am not

I am not

You

Killing me

Killing you

Fighting foreign flesh

Making me bleed

With my own unknown

This mindbender

That is my subconscious

Is stuck in its violent scene

What more do I want

From this

I wanted to be someone else

And you are

Not I

And I am not you

We are not ourselves

Or each other

What more

Do we want

We just take ourselves

Wherever we go

You don't ever

Leave yourself behind

What do these bodies want

Do they want

To teach a lesson

To the stubborn skin

I once wore

Leaving scars

So upon my return

I will see all the hours

I spent outside

Me

And you

Will you go back

To your own

Skin

Or will I have to clear a space

For you to put your things in


(A poem I wrote long ago, during the days when I first started battling my schizophrenia. Poetry helps, but the fear is still there.)

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