Chapter 6: (Seokjin's POV)

The next morning, I woke up to an eerie calmness. The rain had stopped, but the air was thick with the promise of another storm. I could feel it in my bones, a lingering threat on the horizon. I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the dining table.

As I sat down to eat, the silence of the house was almost deafening. The clinking of my spoon against the bowl echoed through the empty room. I tried to focus on the food in front of me, but my mind kept drifting back to the nightmare i had last night, It kept me taking back to the memory of my best friend, Aaira. Her face flashed before my eyes, her laughter ringing in my ears.

Seokjin: Maybe it was my fault that day

I muttered to myself, feeling a pang of guilt.

Seokjin: Maybe I lost you forever because of me.

I stared down at my breakfast, suddenly losing my appetite. The memories of that fateful day played in my mind like a broken record. The accident, the phone call, the helplessness I felt. It all came rushing back, overwhelming me with regret and sorrow.

Seokjin: If only We wouldn't have called each other that day, only if you wouldn't have been talking to me, Aaira.

I whispered, my voice cracking.

Seokjin: Maybe things would have been different, I'm a curse, I've been a curse for everyone close to my heart.

I pushed my plate away and buried my face in my hands, tears threatening to spill once again.

Seokjin: I miss you so much, I hate that I'm slowly starting to forget your voice.

The rain may have stopped, but the storm inside me was far from over. As I sat there, I realized that the pain of losing Aaira would never truly go away. It would always be a part of me.

Seokjin: I hate rain, It takes everything away.

I stood up and walked to the window. The sky was still dark, the promise of another downpour looming. I watched as the first drops of rain began to fall, my heart sinking with each one.

Seokjin: I wish you were here, Aaira.

I whispered to the empty room.

Seokjin: I wish I could tell you how much I miss you, I want to listen to your voice again, I don't wanna ever forget you.

But deep down, I knew that no amount of wishing would bring her back. The rain would continue to fall, and I would continue to live with the pain of her absence. And so, I turned away from the window, but as I was about to walk in i realised, maybe Suah must have sent me a letter in reply to mine.

As I walked to the main door, my heart lifted slightly at the thought of Suah. I opened the door and there it was, lying on the doorstep, slightly damp from the lingering drizzle. Her familiar handwriting was unmistakable.

I quickly picked up the letter, forgetting everything else, and hurried to the sofa room. The warmth of her words usually comforted me, offering a brief escape from my sorrow.

___________________________________

Moon Suah,
2205, Riverdale Lane, Ever Moon Castle,
Seoul, South Korea.
01 Dec, xxxx.

2006, Enchanted Rose Forest, Kim Dynasty Castle,
Seoul ,South Korea.

Dear jin,
I hope this letter find you well Jin, I've been telling you for a while now, how much I've been admiring your artwork, how I've fallen in love with the way your paint.

I even told you my desire to become an artist like you, I've always seen myself the way you draw, I can't even tell you, your work awakens another me, The other side of me.

Like I said I'm one of a stalker kind, all the time I've been stalking your account and trying to imitate you, but I couldn't, sadly it's not something i could learn just by watching pictures online.

I know what I'm going to say may sounds weird, I mean too weird, But trust me seokjin, I've been in love with you paint and I've always desired to become an artist like you.

It may sounds too much, but If I wouldn't say this to you right now, I might end up regretting my own decisions badly, And i don't know if you'll approve this thing or not, But....

Can you teach me your skills. I mean honestly with all my heart I've been eating to learn how you paint, I wanted that inspiration at a time when I thought I should stop Paining, I should leave as an artist, but as I suddenly found you one day, I couldn't help but admire the way you paint.

You've Awaken another kind of artist within me but it's yet lost and i don't ever wanna end being an artist, but if things continue to go life this, I might have to stop, and i really don't want this.

With this only, I need you help please Mr. Kim Jin. I'm ready to follow your rules, I'm ready to accept everything you ask me, as i know you really respect your privacy, just say yes with this one thing. But somehow I believe with your artwork, your art work is the real masterpiece.

Let me meet you and learn from your extraordinary skills, Jin. Let me have a learning session from you, I'm writing this letter with lots of hope, I hope you wouldn't refuse it, though I have a fear you might refuse it, but I have a hope too that maybe you'll approve it. I'm ready to give you anything that you please.

I hope, you wouldn't mind me, Have a nice day, I'll be waiting for your answer, jin. Thanks for reading, you've been an inspiration, keep it up.
Thankyou so much.

With a request,
Moon Suah.
___________________________________

But as I read the letter, my smile faded. Suah wanted to meet me. She wanted to learn painting from me. No i couldn't do that right.

Seokjin: No. This can't happen.

I whispered to myself, my hands trembling.

Seokjin: She'll start hating me too.

I couldn't bear the thought of dragging Suah into my darkness. The idea of her seeing me as a failure, her seeing the cursed side of me, of her being disappointed by me, her being disgusted of me, was too much to handle. My chest tightened with anxiety as I read her words again.

Suah's letter was filled with excitement and hope. She wrote about how she admired my talent and how she had always wanted to learn from me. She mentioned how she believed that painting together, is she for real asking me that ?

Seokjin: together?

I scoffed, my voice bitter.

Seokjin: She doesn't understand. No one understands.

I threw the letter aside, feeling a surge of frustration. Why did she have to bring this up now? Why did she have to come into my life with her light when I was drowning in darkness?

Seokjin: I can't let her in. I can't let anyone in.

I paced around the room, my thoughts spiraling. The rain outside had picked up again, the sound of the downpour matching the storm inside me. I felt trapped, cornered by my own fears and insecurities.

Seokjin: What if she starts to see me the way others does? What if she realizes I'm not worth her time, what if she'll disgust me too? There's no doubt she will, but.

The fear of rejection gnawed at me, making it hard to breathe. I knew I had to respond to her letter, but the words seemed impossible to find. How could I explain to her that I was a lost cause? That getting close to me would only bring her pain? I decided to ignore the letter and watch TV instead.

.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of heavy rain pattering against the window. It was softer now, but still persistent, as if the storm was reluctant to leave. I pulled myself out of bed and wandered to the balcony, hoping the fresh air would clear my mind.

As I looked out at the dreary landscape, I noticed something on the doorstep below. Another letter. My heart sank. It was from Suah again. Despite my best efforts to push her away, she hadn't given up. I went downstairs, retrieved the letter, and returned to the sofa room.

I hesitated for a moment, the unopened envelope in my hand. I could feel the weight of her words even before reading them. Finally, I took a deep breath and opened the letter.

___________________________________

Moon Suah,
2205, Riverdale Lane, Ever Moon Castle,
Seoul, South Korea.
02 Dec, xxxx.

2006, Enchanted Rose Forest, Kim Dynasty Castle,
Seoul, South Korea.

Dear Jin,

I hope this letter finds you well, even though I didn't receive a reply to my previous one. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries. Maybe I was too forward, too demanding. I fear I might have invaded your privacy too much, and for that, I sincerely apologize.

I've been thinking a lot about what I wrote before, and I realize how selfish it might have sounded. You don't owe me anything, Jin. My admiration for your art and my desire to learn from you doesn't give me the right to impose on your life. Did I cross my boundaries ?

I just... I admire you so much. Your art speaks to me in ways that words never could. It has helped me through some of my darkest times, and for that, I'm grateful. But I understand now that I can't force you to share your gift with me. It has to be your choice.

Please forgive me if I caused you any distress. That was never my intention. I just wanted to express how much your work means to me and to let you know that, regardless of your decision, I will always be grateful for the inspiration you have given me.

Thank you for reading this, Jin. I hope you can find it in your heart to understand my intentions, and I hope we can still be friends, even if you choose not to teach me.

With sincere apologies,
Moon Suah

___________________________________

As I finished reading, a mix of emotions washed over me. Guilt, relief, confusion. Suah's words were genuine, heartfelt, and filled with an understanding I hadn't expected. She wasn't angry or upset; she simply wanted to express her gratitude and respect my boundaries.

Seokjin: She really doesn't understand.

I murmured to myself, but this time, there was no bitterness in my voice. Only a deep, aching sadness. She admired my art, saw something in it that even I couldn't see. And she was willing to respect my decision, no matter how much it disappointed her.

Seokjin: Maybe... maybe I should give her a chance.

The thought lingered in my mind, fighting against the walls I'd built around myself. Could I really let someone in? Could I trust Suah not to see me as a failure, not to be disgusted by my curse? It was not possible, I know.

I knew I couldn't make a decision right away. This wasn't something to take lightly. But perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for a different kind of storm. One that didn't bring destruction, but rather, growth and healing. Suah has been the only admirer of me so far, and I couldn't afford to make her unhappy.

I placed Suah's letter on the table beside the first one. For now, I would let the words settle, give myself time to think. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after, I would find the courage to respond. Until then, I would carry her words with me.

That evening, as I was cooking dinner, Suah's letters were still at the forefront of my mind. I had been thinking about her proposal all day, unable to shake the conflicting emotions it stirred in me. The rain outside had slowed to a drizzle, creating a soft, melancholic rhythm that mirrored my mood.

As I stirred the pot, my mind drifted back to the mask I used to wear, the one that had hidden my face from the world. It had been a way to protect myself, to ensure that no one saw the curse I carried. What if I could help Suah without ever revealing myself to her?

The idea seemed both absurd and intriguing. If she never saw my face, she couldn't be disappointed or repulsed by me. I could teach her, guide her, and still keep my distance.

Seokjin: What if...

I muttered, turning off the stove. I leaned against the counter, the aroma of the food barely registering as my mind raced with possibilities.

Seokjin: What if she never had to see me?

It seemed like a solution that could work, but it also felt like a deception. Would she be willing to learn from someone she couldn't see? Would it be fair to her? The questions came in my mind, adding to my anxiety.

Seokjin: I need to think this through.

I sat down at the table, the meal in front of me untouched. I knew I needed to make a decision soon, but I also knew it wasn't something to rush into.

As the evening wore on, I found myself staring at the two letters from Suah. Her words were filled with admiration and hope, a stark contrast to my own feelings of doubt and fear. Could I really let her into my life, even if it was from behind a mask? Would that be enough to keep her from seeing the darkness I carried?

The hours passed, and I barely noticed the time. Finally, I made a decision. I would write back to Suah, explain my conditions, and see if she was still willing to learn from me. If she agreed, then maybe this unconventional arrangement could work.

I took a deep breath, picked up a pen, and started to write.

___________________________________

Kim Seokjin,
2006, Enchanted Rose Forest, Kim Dynasty Castle,
Seoul, South Korea.
02 Dec, xxxx

2205, Riverdale Lane, Ever Moon Castle,
Seoul, South Korea.

Dear Suah,

Thank you for your letters and for your understanding. Your words mean more to me than you can imagine, and I appreciate your patience and respect for my boundaries.

I have thought a lot about your request, and I believe there may be a way for us to move forward. However, there are some conditions that I need you to understand and accept.

I have lived a very private life, and I am not ready to reveal my identity to anyone. If you are still willing to learn from me, I would ask that you respect this condition. We can arrange to meet, I'll tell you the rest when we meet. This is the only way I can feel comfortable sharing my knowledge with you.

If this is something you can accept, then I would be happy to teach you. I believe that art is a powerful means of expression and healing, and I hope that our sessions can help you find your own voice as an artist.

Please let me know if you are still interested and willing to proceed under My conditions. If not, I completely understand, and there will be no hard feelings.

Thank you again for your admiration and understanding. Let's meet at The Majestic Morning Café, only if you please, I'll wait for you there at 3pm, Hope you're punctual at your timings.

Sincerely,
Kim Seokjin

___________________________________

As I sealed the envelope, I felt a strange sense of relief. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was a step forward. The rain had finally stopped, and the night was calm. I placed the letter by her door.

I returned home and gave the interior a critical look. It needed some changes, I thought to myself, and went to sleep.