I won't make any more puns!

I don't believe you.

Please, talk to me! I really won't.

I don't believe you, but okay.

Yay!

So what's up?

Want to help me with something?

Uh sure?

Okay so my friend says I'm a horrible flirt.

I have no doubt that that's true.

Hey! You don't know that. I could be a lead in a romantic comedy. I'm that smooth.

Aren't the female leads usually clumsy, awkward, and seemingly hopeless?

...Well maybe I'm as smooth as the male lead.

You're a dork.

Okay, fine. I give in. Will you just help me flirt?

You want flirting tips from me?

Yes.

You can't see me but I'm laughing my ass off at that.

Why? You think I'm that hopeless or something?

No, you think I'm good at flirting.

Are you not?

I can barely even talk to the girl I like.

Well I guess we both need work.

I guess so.

Still willing to help me?

Sure, I guess. Maybe I'll learn a thing or two.

Thanks!

About what not to do.

You're not very nice.

Sorry I was just teasing.

I know... I guess I'll forgive you. Only cause you're handsome.

Psyche... you don't know what I look like.

I was trying to practice my flirting! What don't you get about this conversation?

Wow you really are bad at flirting.

You can probably hear my confidence shriveling up inside me.

No! No! Sorry! I'll help! Uh... Well complimenting someone based off of looks can be good, but I guess you need to know your audience. Like, when you were practicing on me, you complimented my psychical appearance instead of a personality trait or something you actually knew about me, which was playing to a disadvantage.

Wow that was actually helpful. So... say I was flirting with someone over the internet, say you for example... what would be a good thing for me to say?

Uh not sure why you would, but seeing as we've had a couple conversations together complimenting my intelligence or sense of humor could be appropriate, but compliments only get you so far. Body language is usually pretty important from what I hear about flirting.

Dang it.

So any other advice?

Psyche,

Yeah?

Be yourself. I'm sure you're a catch.

Aw thanks! :)