Aria is about to lose it, Eliot won't stop talking, Alastor is doing his best😂😂

Alastor's POV

I can't sleep...

Something about that library made me feel uneasy...when I touched the door, I could tell immediately that someone had bewitched the entire building.

Bewitched...there's someone else in this town who knows dark magic.

I have a feeling of who it is...

But where could she have gone off to? I checked the entire area, kept my senses on high alert and there was no sign of her.

So where...

The bed shifted next to me and I glanced down at Aria. Her sleeping face was calm, but her eyes still looked tired. Those dark circles were still there.

My mouth was formed into a soft frown and I pushed a bit of hair from her eyes. Then I rested my hand against her forehead.

She feels cold...

My eyes widened and quickly I checked her breathing, a panic unlike anything I've ever felt before settling into my bones.

She's breathing...just fine, actually. Her heart is beating normally as well.

She's just cold...

I sighed through my nose and pursed my lips, brushing my fingers over cheek gently. Within a moment my palm was heated and I pressed my hand against her neck by her pulse.

Using the pulse should help her heat faster...

It took a moment, but she did become warmer. She smiled slightly and snuggled into her pillow more, and I couldn't help but smile at that.

Realizing I'm not going to sleep any time soon, I threw my legs over the side of the bed and quietly got up. I gently covered her back up, and made sure she was tucked in so none of her heat could escape.

With the wave of my hand my boxers and tank top turned into a sweater and sweatpants. Maybe sitting outside will help me clear my head.

Maybe it'll help me think straight...

So I made my way downstairs, heading to the back door. As soon as I opened it, cold air blasted me in the face and I closed my eyes.

When I stepped out I made sure to close the door quietly, and then walked over to the small seating area she created on the back porch.

The cushions on her little swing were covered in snow but with the flick of my wrist they were clean and dry. I settled in, looking out into the vast back yard that once belonged to me.

I let my face relax, and sighed. I could leave...

I could go back to hell right now, leave her life and set her free.

I could...

She could be free...free of me, and free of the stress I'm obviously putting on her health...no matter what I tell myself...

I know it's me...

So then why does leaving seem so...out of the question...

As if it's something I physically can't do...even though with a simple snap of my fingers I could be back in the hotel.

I could leave her behind. Leave her to live her life...to live with Jake, and be happy...

She wouldn't have to dodge questions or pretend I'm someone I'm not around her friends...

He would take care of her...he proved that much the day he forced her to the doctor. He was ready to fight me the moment he saw her bruises.

Not a moment of hesitation...

She deserves that...that no hesitation type of love. It's obvious he loves her as well. Maybe he could love her even better than I could...

And she'll be free.

I swirled my fingers and a cigarette appeared between my knuckles. I haven't smoked in decades, but fuck I need a cigarette right now...

Fire sprouted from my thumb as I lit the small stick and I took a long drag, then pulled it away and held the smoke.

With a heavy sigh, I exhaled it through my nose. The world is so calm right now...

I know I'll have to stop pretending I belong up here eventually...

Perhaps I could just take her with me...

No...no she doesn't want that. I can't drag her to hell...that's selfish. Yet, I was selfish my entire life. I'm selfish in death.

So why do I find the idea of being selfish with her so repulsive?

I sat, mindlessly smoking the cigarette in my hand, just lost to my own thoughts.

Then my ears perked up when there was a little rustle. My eyes focused on the tree line in the distance, and a little doe emerged from the thicket.

Her eyes met mine, wide and curious. The tail situated on her bottom twitched back and forth, and I smiled softly.

Pretty creature...

Maybe it's best we don't say goodbye...I'm not sure I could. Hopefully she can forgive me...once she starts feeling better, maybe she'll understand why I left...

Maybe...

"Alastor...?"

Immediately I spun around, staring wide eyed at the back door that was now opened. The tiny silhouette standing there shifted her stance.

She stepped out, a blanket wrapped securely around her shoulders. The door closed softly, and I watched her walk over to me. She obviously just woke up.

"What're you doing...?" She asked me sleepily, her eyes slightly squinted as she tried to keep them open.

I smiled up at her and shook my head, "nothing, dear...just sitting. You should head back inside, it's far too cold," I said and she ignored me as she crawled into my lap.

She covered us both in the blanket and snuggled up to me, pressing her face into my neck.

She hummed softly and I wrapped my arm around her. Then I realized I'm still holding my lit half smoked cigarette, and glanced down at her.

I hope she doesn't mind...

"I didn't know you smoked..." she mumbled against my skin and I hummed.

"Occasionally..." I murmured back, and she sighed.

"You shouldn't..." she started, "those things will kill you," she finished, obviously amused with herself as she started giggling.

I chuckled and shook my head, but I squished the little stick between my knuckles and then incinerated it. The ashes drifted away and I pulled her closer to me.

Her body fit against mine perfectly, and I gently pushed my feet against the concrete, causing the swing to sway.

I can't...I can't do it...

Suddenly my throat burned as well as the back of my eyes. My hold on her tightened and I exhaled.

I can't leave her...I wish I were strong enough...

I want to be here with her...right by her side.

She is my sunshine...my light. She's the closest to heaven I am ever going to get...

Yet, I don't have the strength to do what's best for her...

"Alastor...?"

Her little voice caught my attention and she sat up to look at me.

"Are you...crying?" She asked me softly, and I shook my head. I was still smiling but now that she pointed it out I could feel the tears streaming down my face.

"Yes you are..." she said after I shook my head no, "what's wrong?" She asked and put her little hands against my face to wipe my tears away. I put my hand over one of hers and held her palm to my face.

I let my eyes close and laughed softly.

"Nothing, honey..." I chuckled, opening my eyes to look at her again. She pouted softly, her eyes looking concerned.

Then she wordlessly shifted to where she was straddling me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug.

That simple action nearly made me break down completely. I buried my face into her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her tightly.

She gently rubbed my back, and hushed me softly as I desperately fought the tears.

Then she pulled back and took my face in her hands, smiling.

She leaned in and softly kissed my lips, then my nose and my forehead. Then she kissed my cheeks and my temples. She kissed my jaw and part of my neck.

Then finally she kissed the corners of my eyes.

"It's alright..." she said to me softly, "I'm right here..."

She's right here...

I chuckled softly and pulled her down into a kiss. Then I stood up with her in my arms and headed back to the house.

"Let's head back to bed..." I said softly, and she hummed, laying her head against my chest.

My sunshine...