The crying woke me up and I sighed deeply, looking over at Islo. He rubbed his eye and smiled at me.

"I'll take him," I murmured and kissed his shoulder.

He nodded, his eyes closing again. I rose from the bed and went to the crib, picking up the disgruntled boy.

"Hey Àlvar, we hear you," I said and bounced him a little.

Àbram stood in the door to the bedroom, ready with a bottle for my little boy. I smiled at him and thanked him, taking the bottle from him and giving it to the boy. He immediately stopped crying and ate very contently. I took him back to bed and sat down. Islo pulled the covers over my legs, looking up at me.

"You're great at this," my husband murmured, looking up at us with heavy eyes.

"He's easy to please. Just feed him, burp him, bathe him and then put him to sleep."

"Like father, like son," Islo snorted and closed his eyes again.

I smiled and then looked back at our son. He was so cute. Fat little arms, legs and cheeks. He already had a lot of hair too and it looked like it was gonna be like mine. He looked a lot like me in general. His skin was the same colour, as were his eyes. He had my nose and lips. He looked like a little clone of me.

And gods, I loved him so much. He was two months old, but I had fallen for him the second I held him the first time. I had held onto him for an hour, just looking at him. This was my son. Islo's and my perfect little boy. Ten toes and fingers and a smile that would almost kill me.

He shied away from the bottle and looked up at me. "All done?" I murmured and smiled down at him. He smiled back, kicking his legs, making the cutest baby sounds.

"Remember rub his back," Islo murmured sleepily and opened his eyes again.

"I know," I said softly and put the boy against my chest, gently running my hand over his back.

"He's eating so well." Islo pulled himself up and ran his hand over Àlvar's head. "Took us ages to get Isla to eat properly."

"Yeah?" I glanced over at him. "Àlvar likes his food. Like me." I chuckled and that made Àlvar kicks his legs and do a series of odd 'ah' sounds.

"Yes, baby, we hear you," Islo said. "And we're proud of you."

I chuckled and then Àlvar burped. I put him down on his back, in between my legs and handed him his cloth. A soft thing he liked touching and looking at. And sticking in his mouth.

"Have you heard anything new?" I asked as I held my hands up for the boy to kick. He loved doing that.

"No, nothing but what Barr has told us. And he seems more interested in talking about his boyfriend with me than anything else." Islo snorted a little and stroked his finger over Àlvar's cheek.

"He only wants to talk about the spiritual connection with me, so I guess he's trying to bond with you in some sort of way. Since you both have boyfriends. Or something." I shrugged a shoulder and almost had to physically tear my eyes off Àlvar.

"He's very weird, huh?"

"A bit, but he's teaching me so much. It's like a lot of things have settled in me. Now it's just the waiting that's killing me."

Àlvar cooed and stuffed his cloth in his mouth, happily munching on it.

"I know, but... We know what they're doing. They're slowly cutting off Andahavn from everything. They've taken back Aatskina and some of the Bursaaq tribes."

I nodded. "I know, but I just feel so helpless, waiting here."

"You're not just waiting, Quinn. You're learning. You're establishing yourself as king and you're taking care of our son. You were never a fighter so leave the fighting to Alvina and her armies. What we can do is win the love of the people. Prepare for them to hear the truth of how you got the crown. We need to take credit for some of the things Dreki decided. Like our wedding, the charity you've done. The image they've built for you is something we cannot break."

I nodded. I knew he was right and all, but I still felt like a weak moron sitting here, waiting. I wanted to help. I wanted to be of use.

"You're doing great, Quinn. You can control your powers a lot better than you could before." Islo leaned in and kissed my cheek. Much to our son's displeasure.

"Oh, possessive are we?" Islo chuckled and picked up the boy, bringing him close to his chest. "I'm allowed to kiss your father, little boy."

Àlvar just cooed and kicked his fat little legs, making my husband smile. "I'll go put him to bed. It's still not time for us to be up anyways." He stepped out of bed, grabbed his cane and walked back to the crib with the boy in one hand, the cane in the other. He put the cane against the crib, and gently put the little boy down.

"Sleep tight, my love," he said so softly I wanted to cry. Watching Islo be a dad was one of my most favourite things in the world. Didn't matter if it was with Isla or Àlvar. I just loved observing the love he bore for his kids.

He limped back to bed, wincing as he sat down.

"How's the leg?" I asked tentatively.

"Stiff," Islo replied and rubbed his thigh a little.

"Do you want me to massage it?" 

"Please."

I grabbed the lotion from the nightstand and gently rubbed it into Islo's skin. There were some kinds of remedies in it that soothed his battered muscles and dulled the pain. Rubbing it also helped. Or so he said. I wasn't sure if it actually helped or if he just liked having me touch him.

The strained expression disappeared slowly, and he breathed easier too. "You're amazing, Sweetness."

"I've had a lot of practice by now." I looked up from my handy-work and smiled.

Islo scooted down and lifted his arm, inviting me to lay on his chest. I didn't need that invitation twice. I put my head on his chest and his hand went into my hair.

"I've... Never thanked you. For sticking by me."

I tilted my head up and looked at him very seriously. "And nor will you ever have to."

"I do feel like I do. Because I want to. I appreciate you so much, Quinn. Everything you've done and given me."

"Islo." I sat up and moved over and into his lap, taking his face in my hands. "We've both been givers. We've given so much to each other. And we've both got a lifetime to make up for it. Please, don't thank me. Just stay with me. Raise our child with me. Love me."

He smiled and leaned in, kissing me softly. "Alright. I can do that."

"Thank you," I chuckled a little goofily.

"You brat," he laughed softly and wrapped his arms around me, getting me down on the bed again.

"What do you feel, when you use your powers?" Barr asked looking intensely at me.

He always looked intensely at me. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

"I feel stronger. Like something opens in my chest and it pours out over my body. It makes me feel invincible." I swallowed something and looked away.

"There is no shame in loving the power, Quinn. It is yours after all." Barr patted my hand, resting on the table. He sat across from me by the dinner table, where Islo, Isla, Àlvar and I would take our meals. As a family.

"Barr, what do you know of their plans? Our allies?"

He smiled softly. "They will come. But for now we must be patient. And we must train. You need your power, your strength."

"It'd be easier to focus on training if I knew what was going on."

"I know very little, in case I got caught. Then I would not have the chance to tell the enemy anything." He scratched the back of his neck. "I do not even know where Huqqa is."

"He's your boyfriend, right?"

Barr almost lit up and nodded, wearing a very big smile. "He is very sweet. And small. He has one and a half eyebrows. And a big gap between his front teeth."

I arched a brow at him. "Sounds... Nice?"

"I do not care for beauty," Barr said and shrugged a shoulder. "He is smart. He creates so many wonderful things. He made Al's arm."

I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. "Was... Was Al alright?"

"She is very strong for such a little person. And her hair is big. Her girlfriend is massive, but I am told it is rude to say so."

I snorted. "Yeah, better not comment on how women look. Unless it's positive."

"Is being big for a woman not positive?" His time to arch a brow.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't exactly know. I didn't have a lot of female friends. Mostly just Al, to be honest."

"Women are confusing," Barr sighed and leaned back in his chair.

Islo snorted from the sofa. "They're individual thinking persons. You talk about women as if they're a mythical creature."

I sent Islo a tired look. "As if you're an expert."

"Hey, I was married to one and I've fathered one. Isla is nothing like her mother."

Isla looked up from her book and sighed. "Barr if you have questions about girls, you can just ask."

We had included Isla in all of this. She had so many questions after the attack on the city. She had noticed both Islo and I were unhappy. She was more perceptive than we had given her credit for.

"You are very kind, Isla. And small."

Isla rolled her eyes and returned to her book. Rolling her eyes at everything was becoming a regular thing.

Àlvar started fussing then, and I rose from the table, going to the crib we kept in the front of the apartment and picked him up. He stopped fussing and relaxed against my chest. He always sought comfort and when Islo and I picked him up, he'd turn almost liquid. Cute little boy.

"He is very small too," Barr noted as I sat down by the table again.

"He's a baby. He'll grow bigger."

Barr frowned, looking utterly confused. "I do not understand."

"When we're born, we're very small. Like Àlvar is now. It takes years before we're fully grown. When he's maybe one year old, he'll start walking. Maybe even sooner than that." I looked down at the boy and ran my finger over his cheek.

"I was made this way. I could walk the day I was made."

I slowly looked up at Barr and frowned. "Made? You were made?"

"Yes, how else do you come into this world?"

"Yeah, Quinn. How are babies made?" Islo chimed in and smirked at me.

I cringed and grimaced at him. "Why don't you tell him. Since you're such an expert."

Islo laughed and shook his head. "Nah, you got yourself into this mess."

"A mummy and a daddy make the baby in bed. The dad fertilises the egg inside the mummy and then nine months later a baby pops out," Isla said without looking up from her book.

"Uhm... How?" Barr asked hesitantly.

"Sex," Isla said as if she wasn't just twelve years old.

Barr frowned a little and then nodded. He took a sip of his coffee, as if that was a satisfying answer to all of his questions. He'd never not be an enigma to me, but we were family in some sort of way. He was part of this family too now.

"Does Àlvar have a spirit?" I asked, to get the conversation turned onto something else.

Islo rose from the sofa and joined us at the table. Seemed like he was interested in this conversation too.

"I guess he does. Are you sure he has the holy blood?"

I took his little fist in my hand before showing a small scar on his wrist to Barr. "We get tested. To make sure the blood is blue."

"Do you have a scar like that too?"

"Not anymore." I showed him my wrist, ugly with the scars from the shackles.

He raised his hand and slowly let his fingers run over the wrinkled skin. "So much pain," he muttered. "I felt it. The pain." He looked up, meeting my gaze. "I am so sorry I did not come sooner, Quinn."

"It wasn't your fault." I pulled my hand back and put it on Àlvar's fat little stomach. His eyes were closed, and he was napping. So sweet and innocent. Untainted. Nothing had hurt this boy yet, and I'd destroy everything in my way to make sure it stayed that way. I wanted him to stay fat and spoiled.

"He is dreaming of you," Barr said then and smiled.

"Can you read his mind?" Islo asked tentatively.

"Yes. It is only images. It differs from person to person if they think in words or images. Àlvar is dreaming of Quinn. Quinn's face. He thinks about the both of you a lot. And also Isla. It is always images of you three in his head."

I smiled and looked down at my son again. He was thinking of his family. This little boy was thinking of us already. I hadn't expected that.

"Give me your hand," Barr said and reached in over the table, his palm up.

I put my hand in his and he closed his eyes. I did too. I saw blurry images in my head. My face. Islo's face. Isla's too. Everything was kind of blurry except for when we were close to his face. My face came back and I smiled at him. He didn't even see the scars. He just saw my eyes and smile. My hair that he loved playing with.

"I love you," I whispered and opened my eyes again, looking down at the boy. "Sweet boy, I love you."

"What did you see?" Islo asked.

"Just us. The images he has of us. He dreams of us, Islo."

"Well, right now we're his whole world." Islo ran his hand over Àlvar's little head. "It's all so simple for them at this age. And simple for us. Soon he'll be a disgruntled teenager who won't even talk to us."

"I'm not like that, Daddy," Isla noted and looked up from her book.

"And I hope you never will, Princess." He smiled at his daughter. "Come."

She put her book down and rose to her feet, joining us by the table. Àlvar opened his eyes and looked up at his sister, smiling a very toothless smile.

"He likes you," Barr said, his gaze landing on Isla.

She tugged her hair behind her ear and nodded a little. She didn't reply though. Just ran her finger over his cheek and went back to the sofa, picking her book back up. I'd catch her sometimes. By the crib, playing with him. She'd hold one of his toys up and he'd laugh and reach for it. They were so cute together.

After our wedding Dreki had been very absent. We were left alone to take care of our son. The only time we had seen him in the last two months was when he wanted us to pose for a picture. With both Àlvar and Isla. To show the nation that we were still going strong and that we were happy.

I did no more propaganda radio announcements either. Apparently, there was no need now when everyone knew Al was alive. I wasn't sure how they were spinning that whole ordeal. Or how they were dealing with the public after the attack on the city. How they explained why we no longer got any resources from outside.

It was like I was living in a bubble. Where I only had to think about my family and Barr. About the spiritual connection growing stronger and me getting a better hold of my powers.

I touched Islo's hand and chuckled. "You're not thinking clean thoughts, Islo."

Islo smirked and leaned forward, kissing my cheek. "You like it though."

I chuckled. Now he was thinking of other places to kiss me. I removed my hand from his and leaned back against the headrest of the bed.

"Is it still weird to be able to read people's thoughts?"

I nodded a bit. "Yeah. I'm not sure I like it."

"It can be an effective power. We can use it."

"I still have to touch people before I can read them though." I frowned and looked down at my hands.

"At least you've got more control over it now. You can hold my hand and not read my thoughts. We don't share dreams anymore. Well, as much as we did before."

I nodded again. He was right. I was getting better. I could also better control the things I made fly. I could get things from the other side of the room now with no hassle. They were still wobbly in the air, but I didn't drop them. I didn't bury more pens in walls anymore or break more windows and mirrors. I generally didn't break things anymore. It was nice. I felt calmer now and I didn't have as many nightmares either.

And I didn't share those nightmares with Islo either. Probably something he appreciated considering I kept dreaming of a ghoulish Aki coming for me. Beating me. They didn't happen as much anymore, but they still appeared. I still woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. Even almost two years after his death, I was still terrified of him. Of what I had done to him. He made me into a monster. A monster that killed.

"Are you still having nightmares?" he asked softly.

"Sometimes. Not as much as before."

"I'm glad to hear it's getting better. Everything is. You've gained weight too." Islo smiled and ran his hand under my nightshirt, settling it on my hip. "I do like it when you're all soft."

I chuckled. "I know." I moved in and kissed him.

He made a very content sound and ran his hand to my stomach, softly pressing his hand into the rolls there.

"Will we have time for a stroll today?" I asked and smiled up at him. "The frost has just left and it's so pretty. Àlvar could do with some air too."

"Yes, let's." He smiled back and kissed me again, grabbing a better hold of my body.