Scaramouche x Reader
High school AU
Angst TW

You see the boy you've known for so long, and hide behind the wall,
sitting down on the ground. The blue hair dissapraring behind the door. You turn on your phone with a small frown, deactivating your social accounts, only permitting your school app and messenger app. A little frown on your face rises to the surface.

Later you're walking to class and as you turn the corner, your eyes connect to a deep blue pair, very gorgeous and detailed. You almost gasp out, but try to remain normal and calm, as to not raise suspicion, so you keep going. That was close... You think to yourself. You enter the class and dread when you would have a shared course with him.

The time came. The only one class you shared with your lifelong friend, economics. You tried to think of what to do, so you decided, appear busy. You walk in the room, and sure enough he is there, and he looks at you, but you stare down at your phone, typing aggressively, then sit down without looking anywhere else. Throughout class you only glanced at him once, the rest of the time you were fully giving your attention to the teacher. After class you ran out quickly, spotting one of your friends thinking it was a perfect excuse of getting away. Your friend embraces you and you go off together to your next class, where you would be safe from him.

Lunch time was another struggle, you usually sat with him, and when you didn't you'd at least say hello, but not today. Would that give it away? You weren't sure, but if you saw him it'd be worse. So off you go out of the area you usually eat at and find a new spot. As time passes slowly you see your friend come around, she sits down and joins you.
"Hey Y/N." She smiles.
"Hey!" You say.
"Can I eat with you?" She asks. You nod your head yes.
"Sure."
"Thanks! Why are you here today?" She questions. You try to come up with something.
"Just for a change of scenery. I have a headache, it's too loud everywhere else." You say. She opens her lunch and nods, then says, "Oh I see. Where's Scaramouche?" You freeze. Scaramouche.... The name sat in your thoughts unpleasantly, it was a name you've been avoiding today. You didn't want to think it, for fear that maybe there were mind readers in your school, or worse, that he was a mind reader. You didn't want to think it because it made you aware that you were indeed thinking about him. Leaving him no named in your brain tricked you into feeling like maybe you weren't actually thinking about him but somebody else. What do I... what do I.... what can... what should I... what do I say?? Your mind scrambled for something. Anything.
"Oh uh, he's kinda busy today." You say. Liar. Your mind hisses. You feel bad for the lies you're going to be spewing a lot more.
"Oh with what?" She asks. You feel your cheeks heat up at the questions.
"I think he had some club duties or something." You say in a nonchalant manner, as if you didn't care.
"Oh, the student council seems quite busy, huh?" She says. You just nod in agreement.

Later at home you drop your bag by your bed, and just silently fall into the mattress, letting out a groan from the day. Scaramouche... You frown at the thought. Could he tell? Was it obvious? You wondered if he'd notice, or if he'd even care. He probably wouldn't... It's the mental game you play to expect the worst from somebody, because you know that they are very capable of doing something like that. Protect your heart the way it wasn't protected before...
"Can you just leave me alone?!" Your heart was unguarded. Don't let it happen again. That's what you did. He probably wouldn't care... You think to yourself.

You woke up for the new school day, and found that today was the day on your schedule that you didn't have economics. You celebrated to yourself and went on your way. Now, if today could be ideal I won't see him at all. You thought to yourself. You knew where his locker was, it was in the hall next to yours, so you wouldn't necessarily see him. As you open it up gathering your stuff you see one of his "friends" walk by. Seeing the boy gives you flashbacks to three days ago, when it happened... you try to forget and go to class, sitting there silently because none of your friends were in yet. That thought.... go away. You think to yourself, and close your eyes. Go away. It lingers around, trying to come back. Go away! Desperately you want to think of something else, you don't want to care. You don't care. Think of something else... come on! Like... like... But the thought is begging to be replayed in your mind, and you let your head fall into your arms on the desk, with closed eyes, as if you were sleepy. In reality you didn't want anyone to see your face that dared to become red and teary.

It was a busy day... three days ago, that is. You had known Scaramouche since childhood, living just five minutes away, you met him at the park. He had a scary yet beautiful mother, you never knew of a father, and you actually think maybe she went to a sperm bank, because even Scaramouche told you he didn't have a father. You considered that maybe he was just saying that out of embarrassment though. Scaramouche was cold like his mom. He looked a lot like her, and he gave an air of authority like her. You were seven, to be exact, when you met him. He wasn't as rude as he is now, so maybe that helps the reason that you are his only friend. That and time. Knowing him for 9 years also helps. You were used to his meanness, and his determination to be the top of all his classes, and he was. You knew why he joined student council, because you often heard him tell you his mother told him to be the most powerful and successful, so that you could live for as long as you wanted, and do what you wanted, because you would have all the technologies to do so. He lived to it, and sometimes you thought he tried too hard to please his mom.
All his other "friends" were more like co-workers, ones that he thought weren't the most annoying, but he definitely didn't want to be with them more than necessary.
You didn't like the way he was rude to everyone, but at the same time you were kind of used to it, that it hardly affected you anymore. You were able to shake it off if he was having a bad day, and he was always a bit less harsh with you, saying things half-heartedly. With the others you knew he really meant it. But three days ago... Ughhh... You sighed, tears wanting to prick your eyes. He meant it... full heartedly... the way he meant it with everyone else... Your mind cried out sadly. You were hanging around him and you knew he was a bit stressed from all his responsibilities, so you offered to help him.
"I can help you with that." You had
said. He brushed you off by saying, "No, it's alright I'll do it myself."
And he scooped up things in his arms.
"Scaramouche... you know I can handle a bit of work?" You said. He finally had everything hoisted up and he repeated, "I. don't. Need. Your. Help." You frown but feel upset that he won't accept your aid, and you know for a fact it's because he feels the need to "prove himself" and he wants to be seen as "manly". It was all trash to you. He was neglecting his own health for his reputation and work.
"Okay than at least let me carry something for you." You said. He turned around and looked at you with a bitter expression.
"Can you just leave me alone?! Piss off!" He snapped, annoyance and a venom ringing through his voice. You were silent for a moment then you just stared at him, trying to hold back tears. He was also silent, then after a moment he turned to the door and muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow..." And he left. You stood there, staring at the exit, hands in shaky fists, and hot tears fell from your eyes.
He never sounded that angry before... and like that your heart felt wounded.
Never to me... and the tears spilt some more, as embarrassment and guilt and anger and most of all, sadness filled you up. The past month you had felt like Scaramouche was starting to outgrow you. He was busier and busier, with his "co-workers" more than with you, with his homework, with his student council, with his mother, with himself...! More than he was ever with you. You felt like you got five words in each day, and you so desperately wanted to glue back your relationship, but it turns out he was strictly forbidding you from entering his work life. Maybe you got in the way of his dreams. Maybe he wanted to be like his mother, an independent powerful single person. Their own boss and their own friend. The idea hurt you. For some reason you pictured him there with you in the future, but maybe that wouldn't be the case. Most likely...

You successfully passed the day without seeing him, and you secretly rejoiced and sighed at the same time. What you did to seem less suspicious was see him the day after he yelled at you, acting like everything was okay. However in reality, you were very hurt. The next day you did as he asked of you, just leave him alone. And now this is the second day of getting out of his life. It hurt you, but you knew he only had time for people who weren't you. And why should you get in his way of his dreams? You knew his mother would kill him... you knew that achieving his goals was a source of happiness for him. I wish I were too... You instantly got rid of that idea, pushing it away as if you never thought that. Whatever. He was never that kind anyway. And on with your day you went, finishing homework than visiting a friend.

It was night now and you took a bath, remembering a time when your friend had said to you that she didn't like Scaramouche.
"He's only nice to you, Y/N. To everyone else he's mean." Scaramouche was hardly even what you would consider as nice but he was softer with you. Said things and did things in a more joking way, but you answered with, "It's not his fault, he was brought up that way... his mama tells him that he should put his own needs first, she told him that weak people show emotion. I wonder if his mom is okay." You had said. Your friend just shook her head, then proceeded to say, "His mom's all alone in the world, and so will he be. I don't reckon that he'll ever have friends or get married with his attitude. Only you would be crazy enough to consider that sort of thing." She said. You made a face of confused dissaproval and shook your head. You were thirteen then. As you got out of the bath you thought to yourself, Marrying him? As if... he doesn't care for anybody. I'm not even sure if he cares for his mom, I think he more just feels the need to impress her... You wish the red from your cheeks would go away. Then you go and lay down in your bed and fall asleep.

The next day isn't looking too good for you. You had economics and when you woke up you felt the sickening feeling in your stomach. You wished you could stop thinking about him. When you got to the school you saw him in the distance down his locker hall, closing it and coming to the hall you were in, so you quickly scramble away, in order that he doesn't see you. You made it to your first class successfully, and you breathe out happily. Suddenly on messenger you get a notification.
Hey, dork. Finish the economics work yet? You felt your stomach drop. You look at it and don't answer. I hate you. You think to yourself.
When economics class comes you know he's going to confront you for not answering, besides, you haven't spoken to him for some time. He might have something to say even without you ignoring the text. So, due to your dread you go to the office and tell them that you feel sick. They offer for you to call home, and you agree. Then you text your friend and ask her to take notes for you in class. When you get home you unbundle, laying down in your tank top and shorts, frowing staring up at the ceiling. Your parent put a cool cloth on your head and a glass of ice water. You just look up lifelessly. What am I doing... You're just doing as he asked... he doesn't have time for you... you annoy him... leaving his life is the right decision... then he can grow up, and you can move on... You think to yourself. Then you cover your eyes with your arm and fall asleep eventually.

The next day you get to class quickly, catching up with what you missed. You chat with your friends a bunch and get a lot done. The time for economics comes, and you sweat a bit thinking about it. You didn't really even want to see him again. But you enter and your eyes land on him. His blue hair and eyes, his handsome face and slim figure, all something you recognized. He was looking you dead in the eye, and you instantly look away, heart speeding up, then instantly mentally slap yourself. Idiot! You made it obvious! Your thoughts scream. You sit down at your desk and luckily as students fill the room they pass infront of him, breaking the contact. He sat with his legs crossed, leaned back in his chair a bit, and arms crossed too. The moment your friend came in you got her to help you catch up with the notes you missed, intentionally telling her to sit down on the side Scaramouche was on as to block yourself from his view. You felt a bit safer behind her. The time came when the teacher got in and your friend had to sit down, and you were exposed.
Throughout class you were conscious of the fact that he was staring at you. Is he upset? You wondered. Would he prefer me to bow at his feet like the others? 'Cause that's not going to happen. You thought getting annoyed. Still, it was nerve wracking. You only dared to see him by what turning your eyes would allow you to see of him, and that was more of a blur. I have a mission... get out of class as soon as possible. You thought. I must avoid him at all costs. Your ideas were set and you'd glance to the clock every now and then, thinking when you could start sneakily putting your things in your bag. He and the teacher mustn't know...! You'd be criticized both ways.
The moment came, and you ever so quickly shot up and got to the door, but not too quick, still normal paced, but faster then him. As you were at the door you see one of your friends down the hall and she smiles at you. You smile back and wave, just as you hear a voice from the class.
"Y/N." It's loud, as if calling from across the room, and it's his voice. Wide eyed, you instantly start talking to your friend, walking out of the room.
My gosh... Your mind panicks. Now what were you going to do? As if it wasn't clear enough already you just made it clearer. The problem with trying to ghost people when you go to school with them is that... You'll see them! So you get away, going to your next class, then to lunch.

For lunchtime you go outside, sitting at a deserted wall. This is the 6th day hiding from him, counting the weekend. You open your lunch, and eat it, then that's when you hear a door close nearby. You freeze, hoping it was not Scaramouche. You lean your head forwards to peek out, then you see that it is him. He's not looking in your direction, so you close your lunch, get up and walk into a bit of a more hiding place, watching him carefully. Why is he outside today?Then he turns, and you swear he saw you, you almost jump out of your skin. Oh, shoot! You try to leave into the field, where there's quite a big tree that you could sit behind. So as you sprint across the field you hope that he isn't looking. You finally got there, holding the bark, breathing out from your exhaustion. After a bit you finally straighten up but then you see your childhood friend. Looking at you. A few centimeters away.
"Huph-!" You let out in a jump of fear.
"What's going on?" He asks, in his persuasive voice. There he stood, staring at you, the boy you wanted to never see again.
"Huh?" You turn around and start down the field, back to the school building. He follows right at your heels. Your heart's beating fast and you try to speed up.
"Y/N." He says.
"Why are you hiding from me?" He questions. You shake your head and keep going, trying to get away. The fresh feelings from when he yelled at you resurfaced, and all the other little things that lead you to believe this is what's best replayed in your mind.
"Hey!" He says, with annoyance in his voice and he catches your wrist. The cars driving past the field would see two teenagers in the middle of it, a dark figure of a boy holding the wrist of a girl.
You try to shake away but he just pulls you back and stands in fornt of you, looking you in the eyes.
"Leave me alone..." You say in a hushed voice, looking at the grass instead, a nervous heat coming over you. He stares at you silently, then finds his words again.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He asks again.
"I'm not!" You lie and shuffle away, dragging him with you.
"I'm not stupid, Y/N." He says and pulls up his phone.
"Your socials are deactivated, and you didn't answer your messages either." He says, still holding you as he followed along.
"I'm taking a break from my phone. I only use it for school purposes." You say. This time you are more okay with lying, and tears prick your eyes.
"That's some bull if I've ever heard any!" He says with irritation. Once you two are closer to the school he stops you, and your face is red. You didn't want to face him.
"It's almost been a week and we haven't spoken. What's. Wrong?" He asks thoroughly.

Tears really prick your eyes now, and you so desperately want to look away, so you do, but he turns in that direction. So you look to the ground.
"I'm... I'm just leaving you alone like you want!" You yell, heart beating fast. He's quiet for a second, looking at you with a concentrated expression.
"Like I want?..." He hisses. For the first time his hands are by his side. You just nod, for fear that you might shed tears.
"Why the hell would I want that?" He asks, feeling repulsed.
"Because! Because... You have dreams and goals and I'm in the way of them! You said so yourself." His face had a look of disbelief, disbelief that you were saying that.
"Everyone has dreams and goals! You don't see them leaving their lifelong friends though!" He shoots back.
"Scaramouche! It's what you said!!" You yell. You were shaking, and you were angry at him, and you were angry at yourself. He remembered what you were talking about and looked at you. Moving for a second. Then what took you by surprise was his hand on your cheek, fingers pressed against your chin and jaw. He lightly pushed your face up, so you were actually looking at him now, and you wanted to cry so bad. You knew he could see the tears in your eyes. As he looked at you his hair fell slightly, delicately, as if reflecting his action. Your face is red from the forced eye contact and from the contact on your cheek. He makes sure you're paying attention before he speaks and you swallowed, finally giving in and actually looking at him.
"I'm sorry." He said. What? Your eyes widen and a million thoughts race through your head. This is the first time you've heard him say it by will. Not like the times the teachers forced him to. Sorry. He said it on his own. With an overload of feelings the tears do fall, and you're horribly embarrassed, especially because you knew Scaramouche felt them run along his fingers. He watches you almost with a softened expression, then says, "I didn't mean what I said. It hasn't even been a week and I hate that you're not talking to me. How can I go without you for life?" He asks. Your eyesight blurs and tears fall down your face even more. You couldn't believe he was saying that.
"You've known me for a long time, Y/N. " He says and gently wipes your tears away.
"How could you think that from me? I was in a pissey mood." He says. You look at him speechlessly, for once he was actually being nice. You nod and sniffle, a few more extra tears falling. He looks at you with a feeling of guilt. Seeing you like that upset him, and he never knew that he could care about someone else, but in this moment he did care.
"Do you forgive me?..." He asks softly. You nod, then get out a teary, "Yes, I forgive you..."
He doesn't smile or say anything, and you wonder if he was okay. Then he dropped to the grass, kneeling down and picked a small flower, giving it to you. You look at the tiny little petals that he placed in your hand, then to him. He quickly places a little kiss on your head, face reddening slightly when he pulls away. Yours did too as you realised what had just happened.
"Let's go." He says in a flustered voice like a little tsundere, and you smile, then go along with him, walking side by side with your childhood neighbour and friend.

A.N. :) 3775 words