Y Z R A

My whole body felt so heavy, that even opening my eyes troubled me. Everything happened so fast, and I can only remember things in a blur. Even my mere existence remained unclear—dead or alive, I can only guess.

"She's still unresponsive?" I heard an unfamiliar voice. It's in deeper tone, but still feminine.

"Obviously," someone said in a very sarcastic tone. Unlike the other voice, I can sense familiarity from this one. But trying to remember his name only caused my head to throb. I guess I am still alive.

"How are you planning to break the news to her once she wakes up?"

"I don't know if I could." His voice sounded blue. "She's been through so much. If she learned that they're dead. . . I don't know how she will react."

Hearing those words made me remember what happened before I lost my consciousness. I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

Colors of red and orange flashed before my eyes. My body felt weaker as I watched their helicopter crashed, piece by piece. I tried to scream, but it felt like I was choking in my own breathe. All that came out was a mumble.

I felt my cheeks were getting wet. Reminiscing my last moments with them, I didn't even get a chance to say my goodbyes.

"Why is her heart rate getting faster?! She was stable just a minute ago!"

"Loris, calm down. I think she can hear us. She already knows." A soft hand caressed my face and wiped my tears.

"Yzra, can you hear us?" I want to give them an answer, but my lips won't listen to me. "If you can, can you try opening your eyes?"

A blinding light greeted me as I opened the windows of my soul. And there he was, looking grumpy and worrisome at the same time.

"She's awake, ate! She's awake!" he cheered. He looked so happy that he even placed his hand on the lady that was also in the room and shook her, as if he was celebrating.

"I should probably get her some water," the lady replied and left the room. Loris's mood changed as he looked at me in the eyes.

"There's no easy way to say this. Alam kong kagigising mo lang—" I raised my palm, cutting him off.

My throat still felt dry, but I tried to open my mouth and tried to speak. "When. . . can I. . . visit them?" A hoarse voice came out.

"Whenever you're ready," he replied. He checked the contraptions connected to me. "But your body is still weak, so we need to take it slow," he continued.

- X -

I tighten my grip to Loris's arm as we get closer. My steps got heavier and slower. Pakiramdam ko, basta na lang ako babagsak.

"You okay?" Loris asked while looking at me, and I nodded.

It took me three days to regain consciousness. If I wait for my body to recover, I might lose the chance to see them again one last time. So even if he was against my decision, Loris accompanied me to their wake the very next morning.

"Yzra. . ." As soon as she saw me, Arima ran and hugged me tightly. "I'm so glad you're alive," she whispered with a shaky voice.

I can't say the same. Their deaths and my survival, it didn't feel right. It was my mission. Ako dapat ang namatay.

"Let's go inside," ani Arima at siya na ang umalalay sa akin. Loris quietly followed us inside.

My body froze when our eyes met. Those cold phoenix eyes sent shivers to my spine. Without opening his mouth, he made me hear and feel his disappointments and rage.

"Hey." Loris tapped my shoulder. "You'll be fine. You're one of us now," he said softly, trying to comfort me. I was way too far from being fine, but I just replied with a nod.

Sa pag-iwas ko ng tingin sa aking ama, nabaling ang aking mga mata sa dalawang urnang nasa gitna ng silid.

"Eden. . ." I carefully touched his urn with my fingertips. And once again, I find myself choking in my tears—breaking my façade.

Since childhood, him and Lora are everything I've got. Lahat ng pagkalinga at pagmamahal ng isang magulang, sa kaniya ko naramdaman. He did everything in his capability and power to protect me from my own father.

I can't imagine my future without you, Eden. Wala nang mangungulit sa akin sa tuwing ako ay nasa laboratoryo. No one will convince me to mend my relationship with my family anymore. No one will stand beside me anymore.

I hope you find your peace, Eden.

Wiping my tears, I walked to the next urn to pay my respect.

To my mother, I actually don't know how to feel about your passing. In my perspective, we're strangers that were starting to get to know each other. I appreciate your effort to make a change. I admit that without your presence, I felt something was missing.

I wish we had more time, mother.

"Yzra!" Her voice echoed in a silent room. Lora ran to me, but stopped midway. She smiled awkwardly. "We don't do hugs, do we?"

She ushered me to a seat. "I know everything is a lot to process right now. You lost someone, and your body is still recovering," panimula niya't kinuha ang isang folder mula sa kaniyang bag at iniabot sa akin.

"But I found a lead connected to the SEDRIMO incident. I'm. . ." Her face was full of hesitation.

"What is it?" I asked, implying that whatever it is, she can say it. She took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid it's also related to Eden's death." She held my hands tightly. "Everything you need to know is in the folder. Pero ang gusto ko, bago tayo gumawa ng aksyon—bago natin imbestigahan—nasa mabuti nang kalagayan ang katawan mo. That's my ultimatum."

"Lora, this can't wait," pangangatwiran ko. All the evidences may get clean up before we get our hands on them. The faster we act, the more we can reveal in this mystery.

"If you can't meet that condition, hindi ka na muli makakatanggap ng impormasyon mula sa akin." I looked at Loris, asking for help. His organization has the best medicine in the island.

"Give me three months. You'll be back on the game."