Land of Grimm

Cinder: Gah!!!

Cinder landed hard against the rough and jagged ground, out of breath and exhausted beyond anything she'd ever felt before.

Cinder barely had enough time to recover before a pair of Beowolves attempted to lunge at her.

Clenching her teeth, Cinder screamed in defiant fury as she forced herself to move and throw a wave of fire at her attackers.

Cinder: Raaaaaaahhh!!!!

The Beowolves were incinerated as Cinder fell to her knees, drained.

Cinder: *huff* *pant*

Cinder's vision blurred intermittently as she forced herself to stay awake. Sweat dripped onto the stone below her as her chest heaved.

Her gaze drifted toward her new arms. Cinder did not know how Salem had these new arms made, or how it seemed that she had them ready when she returned, all she knew was that there was more to them than what she was told.

Salem: I thought you were the girl who wanted power.

Salem looked down upon her Fall Maiden from a nearby ridge that gave her full view of Cinder's struggle.

Cinder: *huff* It's... *huff* ...too... *pant* ...much... *pant*

Salem didn't seem to react, her expression remained unchanged at Cinder's response. Instead, she turned behind her.

Reluctantly walking up next to the pale woman was Emerald, who poorly hid her fear of the one who brought her. Rubbing her arm and avoiding eye-contact, Emerald bowed slightly to Salem.

Emerald: Y-yes?

Salem: It would seem Cinder requires... motivation.

Emerald: Y-yes ma'am.

Emerald stepped forward and raised her arms in the direction of Cinder.

In the moment after, there was complete silence.

Though still tired, Cinder managed to catch her breath and stood upright, ready for whatever obvious illusion that-

(Y/N): You look terrible.

Cinder froze and slowly turned her head behind her. Casually leaning against a large boulder was Y/N, his arms crossed as he looked at her.

It was an illusion.

(Y/N): That wasn't a comment on your current appearance by the way. It was just a general statement about you overall.

Cinder knew it was an illusion.

(Y/N): ...are you still wearing high heels?

BOOM

Suddenly, and without warning, a massive fiery explosion rocked the landscape as Cinder lunged at the fake teen.

It was just an illusion.

That was all that was going through Cinder's mind, but her face, twisted in unrelenting fury, contradicted this.

As the smoke cleared, what remained of the large boulder was nothing but molten rock as Cinder heaved.

(Y/N): Seriously, what's with wearing high-heels all the time? Is it a culture thing?

Standing a few feet behind her, completely unscathed, stood Y/N.

Cinder: RAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

BOOM

Cinder spun and unleashed a torrent of fire so hot that the ground glowed a hot molten red.

At this point Cinder either didn't care or forgot that the teen taunting her was an illusion, all she wanted was to rid him from her sight. To erase her humiliation and shame.

(Y/N): Do not tell me you are wearing them because they're fashionable.

Cinder: SHUT UUUUUUUP!!!!!

BOOM

Emerald had to take a step back as the heat from the next explosion was more than a little unbearable, but she knew she couldn't stop. Not until Salem told her to, and right now, she was looking down at Cinder as she edged ever closer to going completely berserk.

Cinder herself completely forgot about her exhaustion, the only thing on her mind was single-minded fury as the false image goaded her more and more.

More fire erupted around Cinder as she used more and more of her new power. Soon, it appeared as though Cinder herself was turning into fire itself.

Salem watched as Cinder decimated the Grimm around her who were unfortunate enough to stand in her warpath. Even larger and more armored Grimm melted before Cinder's increasing rage.

Those that weren't outright incinerated had large portions of their bodies completely burned away and fell soon thereafter.

As more and more Grimm were effortlessly blown away, it was at this point that Salem grew a slight malicious smile..

_____

_____

Koneko

Following the sudden explosion the previous day, the town guard opened an investigation. Eventually, people gathered around city hall in anticipation for news.

Steff: Wow, I think the whole town is here.

Amaz: Well yeah, Nancy was a pillar of the community.

(Y/N): She wasn't a pillar to me...

Amaz frowned at the pouting Y/N as they--as well as the rest of team RNJR--sat on a nearby bench.

Ruby: So, you weren't kidnapped?

Nora scratched the back of her head as she thought back to just the other night.

Nora: Uh, no?

_____

Two Nights Ago

In the dark cold of night, Y/N could be seen dragging something through back alleys.

Nora: Mmmmmm!! Mmmmmgggghhhhh!?!?

(Y/N): Shut up!

Tied up in thick rope and her mouth gagged, Nora struggled fruitlessly against her binds as Y/N carried her to a nearby carriage.

Nora: Mggghhhh!! Mmmmmmhhh!! Mmggghhhmmm!?

(Y/N): No I don't trust you!

Nora: Mmmmgggghhhh!? Mmmmmmhhhhh!??!?

(Y/N): I am not overreacting!

Y/N hefted the young woman onto the back of the cart and roughly dropped her in.

The driver glanced back at his unwilling passenger and then turned to look at Y/N.

Driver: Uh...

(Y/N): Oh, hey! So, my friend here needs to go on a supply run in the next town.

Driver: ...does she want to?

Nora: MMMMMGGGGGHHHHH!!

(Y/N): Of course she does!

Driver: I don't kn-

(Y/N): Listen!

Y/N didn't let the man respond and ran up to him and pulled him in close.

(Y/N): She is not staying! She is a literal blackhole of confections, and I will not have her here!

Driver: But-

(Y/N): Yes! She really does eat that much!

Y/N's eyes twitched as he stared down the poor driver.

Driver: ._. okay...

_____

Present

Nora: I mean, Ren did the same thing to me once.

Ruby: He did?

Ren: When we were younger Nora used to hunt down kids with birthday parties to get free cake.

Ruby: What do you mean by, 'hunt down'?

Ren took a sip of his coffee.

Ren: Exactly what you think it means.

Nora: Ren shipped me all the way to Vacuo!

Ruby: O-oh...

Ruby turned her attention to Jaune next.

Ruby: What about you, Jaune?

Jaune: Me? Oh, well Y/N told me that we could make some quick money if I wore the costume for the festival. And since I couldn't help in the kitchen I may as well have made myself useful somehow.

Ruby: ...oh.

Ruby fiddled her thumbs in slight embarrassment at her accusations before a thought came to mind.

Ruby: Hey wait a minute!

Ruby turned to Y/N this time.

Ruby: You wanted me to shoot her!

(Y/N): I don't know what you're talking about.

Ruby: What do you mean!? You sent me to that building across the street from her store and then told me to shoot her!

(Y/N): No I didn't.

Ruby: Wha-!? Yes you did!

(Y/N): It's your word against mine, I'll see you in court.

As Ruby frowned at Y/N, Amaz smirked at her.

Amaz: If it's any consolation, I believe you.

Ruby sighed.

Ruby: Thanks...

Amaz: And thank you for not shooting.

A few moments later someone came out of City Hall and set up a podium.

Town Guard: Can I have everyone's attention?

The crowd grew silent and their attention was drawn to the man.

Town Guard: The captain of the guard as an announcement in regards to events of yesterday.

Steff: Here we go.

The group got up and joined the crowd in their anticipation.

Soon after an older woman in worn armor stepped out of City Hall and stepped up to the podium.

Guard Captain: Good morning everyone. I hope you all had a good night's rest, but I can guess why you're all gathered here today so I'll get straight to it.

The captain cleared her throat.

Guard Captain: For those who are not aware, mid-day yesterday, a terrible tragedy occurred. A large explosion engulfed "Nancy's Home Baking", completely destroying the building.

Some among the crowd gasped, but most remained silent.

Guard Captain: Fortunately, the fire did not spread to neighboring buildings but, sadly, Ms. Wells was caught in the blast.

This time the whole crowd gasped.

Guard Captain: After an investigation, the cause of the explosion was found out to be a gas leak from the oven that sparked right as Ms. Wells returned home.

(Y/N): See!? I told you Steff!

Y/N's shout drew the attention of everyone around him.

(Y/N): Always make sure the oven is off!

Steff: Huh... When you're right, you're right I guess.

(Y/N): Of course I'm right about that! Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if someone here forgot to-

BOOM

Y/N was caught off when another explosion went off on the other side of town. The whole crowd of people suddenly went quiet again.

(Y/N): ...did everyone make sure that their ovens were off?

For a brief moment there was total silence as everyone started to think, after which, half the crowd suddenly dispersed, running in different directions.

(Y/N): -_- Guess not.

Amaz: Hey, did we turn the oven off?

(Y/N): Of course we did. Right Steff?

Steff: Right!

The group fell silent.

_____

After double checking the oven, the group sat down together in the kitchen. Y/N slumped on his chair and frowned at the second place trophy that they had.

(Y/N): Second place...

Amaz: Oh come on, are you really that upset over it?

(Y/N): Yes. Immensely.

Steff: We got second place! For a shop that's never even qualified before, this is huge!

Y/N allowed his head to drop onto the table.

(Y/N): (muffled) The first losers you mean...

Amaz rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed.

Amaz: Do any of you know how to cheer him up? You've known him longer than me or Steff.

Amaz looked at Ruby, Nora, Jaune, and Ren, hoping for an answer.

Ruby: Uhhh....

Ruby looked at her teammates, equally unsure on what to say.

(Y/N): (muffled) My dreams are shattered before they even formed...

Ren: Perhaps you'd like to bake out your frustrations?

(Y/N): (muffled) What's the point? My food is merely second best...

Ruby: You know that isn't a bad thing, right?

(Y/N): (muffled) I have unrealistic expectations and standards...

Amaz: So, what, you're going to off yourself because you got second place!?

Y/N raised his head.

(Y/N): I hadn't thought of that. That sounds like a good idea actually.

Amaz growled and grabbed Y/N by the collar and began to shake him violently.

Amaz: Don't actually do that you moron!!!

(Y/N): @_@ Insulting me and shaking me does not make me feel better!!!

As Amaz tried to 'console' Y/N, the bell at the front of the store rang indicating new customers entering the store.

Amaz: Oh! Customers! Hey Steff you think you can handle it?

Steff: Yeah.

As Steff disappeared to the front of the store, the rest of the group stared in stunned silence as Amaz shook Y/N faster and faster.

Amaz: Second place isn't bad!!!

(Y/N): @_@ It's the first loser!!!

Amaz: What kind of logic is that!? You're a great baker!!

(Y/N): @_@ But not a 'first-place' baker!!!

In response, Amaz began to shake Y/N even faster than before.

Amaz: Why are you like this!?

(Y/N): @_@ Aaaaaahhhh!!!! Stop! My brain feels like a maraca!!!

Ruby: Uh, Amaz? Maybe you should stop?

Ruby approached the green Faunas with growing concern for Y/N.

Amaz gave Ruby a toothy grin.

Amaz: Don't worry, he'll be fine! My grandma, Tock, used to do this to me while she was around when I was younger!

Ruby: O-oh... But he's not you though...

(Y/N): *foam rising from mouth*

Ruby: ...and I think you might be shaking him too much.

Amaz: Nah! He's fine!

After the short exchange Steff stepped back into the kitchen.

Steff: Hey guys, there's someone here.

Following close behind were two men, both were well dressed in formal wear, but one was dressed more elegantly while the other more casually.

As the two men entered the kitchen, Amaz let Y/N go.

Amaz: Who are these two?

The first man to step forward was the more casually dressed.

Zar: Nice to meet all of ya! The name's Zar and this is my friend Coop.

Zar gestured to the other man who waved.

Coop: Good day to you all.

Zar: We're here for one Mr. Macmillan. May we meet him?

At his question, everyone turned their gaze to the one person on the floor.

Zar followed their gaze to the teen on the floor.

Zar: Mr. Macmillan?

Y/N didn't get up, his face on the floor.

(Y/N): (muffled) Yes?

Zar: Was the 'bark' from the competition your idea?

(Y/N): (muffled) Yeah...

Zar furrowed his brow and looked at the others in the room.

Zar: This about him coming in second place?

Everyone nodded.

Zar: Well, at least he has ambition.

Ruby: Who are you?

Zar straightened himself out and presented a gold badge.

Zar: I'm from the Baker's Brigade, and I-

(Y/N): You're from the Brigade!?

Zar: Gah!?

Without anyone noticing, Y/N managed to stand up from his prone position and step a mere few feet from Zar, scaring him.

Zar: How did you get up so fast?

(Y/N): I used my hands.

Zar blinked.

Zar: I... okay... Mr. Macmillan?

(Y/N): The fourth. Yes?

Zar: Well then...

Zar gestured to coop and the two of them smiled at Y/N.

Zar: Mr. Macmillan IV...

(Y/N): Yeah?

Stars began to form in Y/N's eyes.

Zar: ...we are here to invite you...

Y/N put his hands on his cheeks in awe.

Zar: ...to join the Baker's Brigade.

Y/N let out a loud, drawn out gasp at Zar's invitation.

Zar: So, what do you say?

Coop stepped forward.

Coop: Now, just because you were invited doesn't mean you're actually part of the guild now.

Y/N was still gasping.

Coop: You have to participate in a sanctioned Brigade competition before you're officially recognized as an aspirant.

Y/N continued to gasp.

Coop: After seeing your skills in the 'Supernova Showdown' and your ability at creating new ideas, I'd like to sponsor you for the Brigade.

Y/N turned to face Coop this time, but didn't stop his one long gasp.

Coop blinked, surprised that the person in front of him had the lung strength to gasp for such a long period of time.

Coop glanced at Zar.

Coop: Does everyone do this?

Zar: Eh, you get used to it.

Coop: Right... So, here's your invitation to the competition.

Coop gave Y/N his invitation which caused him to start gasping at the paper this time.

Coop: ...and we'll see you there.

Y/N's response was to continue his long gasp.

Coop: ...right.

Zar: Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Macmillan. Have a good day!

As fast as they came, the two men left back out of the store, leaving the group alone in the kitchen, with Y/N still gasping.

Ruby: Wow Barnsby! You did it!

Ruby stepped in front of Y/N to congratulate him.

Y/N continued to gasp at the paper in his hand, seemingly unaware of Ruby's presence.

Ruby: Uhh... Barnsby?

Ren waved his hand in front of Y/N's face to no effect.

Ren: Huh, seems like he's in some sort of trance.

Nora rubbed her chin in contemplation before coming up with an idea.

Nora: Oh! I know!

Without telling anyone, Nora ran to the fridge and pulled out a breadstick.

Amaz: What are you doing?

Nora giggled.

Nora: Gag-reflex test!

Nora unceremoniously jammed the breadstick down Y/N's gasping mouth.

GULP

Nora: 0_0

(Y/N): 0_0

Ruby: 0_0

Ren: 0_0

Everyone: 0_0

(Y/N): I got accepted!!! Woooo!!!!

Breaking the shock, Y/N started jumping up and down with joy.

Nora: ...are you not going to talk abou-

Before Nora could finish, Y/N suddenly got into her face.

(Y/N): No. No I'm not, and we're never bringing this up again.

Nora: ._. ...okay...

(Y/N): Yes!!! Victory!!!

With the moment passed, Y/N continued his celebration.

Amaz: You got over your depression pretty quick.

(Y/N): I have gone on an emotional rollercoaster!... I'm going to my room to sit down!

As Y/N began to leave the room Steff brought the white box he'd been carrying the previous day.

Steff: Hey boss!

(Y/N): I'm not your boss.

Steff: Can we have this cake you made?

At that question, Y/N froze and glanced behind him. Noticing what Steff found, Y/N rushed and grabbed it from his hands.

(Y/N): No! Not this one!

Y/N opened a nearby window and chucked the cake and box out the window as hard as he could.

(Y/N): It's uh... expired.

Steff: But... didn't you make it yesterday?

(Y/N): I don't know what you're talking about.

_____

Far Outside of Koneko

The box crashed into the forest floor causing its contents to spill out onto the forest floor.

The cake slid out of the box and coated the grass... and started disintegrating the fauna.

A nearby Beowolf stepped by and sniffed the ruined cake before taking a curious lick of the icing.

A second later the Grimm fell to the floor. Dead.

_____

(Y/N): Now, let's see where I need to go...

As Y/N started opening the envelope Ren tapped Ruby and Nora on the shoulder.

Ren: We should talk.

Ruby: Hm? What about?

Ren: Just follow me.

With Ruby and Nora in tow, Ren brought Jaune as well out the back door.

Jaune: What's up Ren?

Ren: We need to talk about Y/N.

Ruby: What about him?

Ren: We need to decide if we're bringing him with us.

Ruby, Nora, and Jaune: What!?

Ren: I'm serious. We need to talk about this.

Nora: Well of course he's coming with us! You remember how he threw that Paladin back in Vale, right?

Ren: I am not arguing his skills, I am arguing if we should.

Ruby: What do you mean?

Ren sighed.

Ren: Is it really right for us to bring him with us? From everything you told us, Ruby, and how he acted in school, it sounds like he's trying to avoid stuff like this.

Nora: But he can help! I mean, come on! With his help we'll kick Cinder's ass and be back in Vale before the year is up!

Jaune: What about that 'thing' above Beacon? Wasn't that caused because of him?

Ruby: Now hold on, that wasn't his fault! ...I don't think...

Jaune: Even if it wasn't his fault, what happens if another shows up? What will we do?

Ren: Stop!

Ren stepped in between everyone in order to stop the increasing raising of their voices.

Ren: Everyone has a point, but it's best if we do the right thing.

Ruby: And what's the right thing?

Ren: We ask him directly.

There was a brief silence as everyone thought about Ren's words.

Ren: If Y/N says no, then can we agree to let him live his life?

Ruby: I...

Ruby sighed.

Ruby: Sure...

Jaune: Alright...

Nora: So kidnapping is off the table?

Ren frowned at Nora.

Nora: Okay! Okay! Fine, we'll ask him first.

Ren: Then it's decided.

After their brief discussion, the group headed back inside to find Y/N already nearly completely packed.

Ruby: You got packed fast.

(Y/N): Yep! The invite told me where the competition is going to take place.

Amaz finished washing the dishes and wiped her hands.

Amaz: And apparently it's only a few months away so he's got to go today.

Ren: Really?

(Y/N): Yep! So...

Y/N put his travel pack down and stood in front of the group of former classmates.

(Y/N): ...I guess this is goodbye.

Ruby: Goodbye!? Where do you have to go?

Y/N sighed.

(Y/N): All the way to Mistral.

Ruby, Nora, Jaune, and Ren, stared dumfounded at his answer.

Ruby: Uh...

(Y/N): I hate to just leave after you guys went through all the trouble of coming here for me, but I have to do this.

Ruby: ...We... uh...

Y/N stepped forward and gave everyone a hug.

(Y/N): I'm gonna miss you guys, but I must continue on. I hope you guys can understand.

Ruby: W-we do! ...but... um...

Jaune and Ren shared Ruby's fluster, unsure of what to say.

Nora: How about we join you?

Nora had a wide grin on her face as she asked her question.

Ruby looked back at Nora with a face that read: "What are you doing!?".

(Y/N): I couldn't ask you to do that! Mistral is pretty far away and I'm sure you guys have your own lives to attend to.

Ruby: We- Mmmghhh!?

Nora put her hand over Ruby's mouth before she could speak.

Nora: It's no big deal! Really! There isn't exactly a lot for us to do back at Vale.

(Y/N): I don't know...

Nora: How about we become your bodyguards! The road to Mistral is pretty dangerous you know!

Y/N put his hand on his chin.

(Y/N): This is true... It would be less work for me and it would be nice to have people to talk to on the road...

Y/N thought hard on this offer.

(Y/N): It would also be me who is leading this journey, so Ruby's jinx shouldn't work... Hmmm....

Ruby shoved Nora's hand away from her mouth.

Ruby: You don't have to if you do-

(Y/N): Deal!

Nora: Great!

Nora started shoving everyone else on the team back to their rooms.

Nora: We'll start packing right away!

(Y/N): Make it quick!

As Nora shoved them to their room and they were out of earshot of Y/N, Ren spoke up.

Ren: This isn't what we agreed to do, Nora!

Nora: But we are taking him anywhere! He's taking us! So everyone is happy!

Jaune: But we were supposed to ask-

Nora: And we did ask! We asked to join along!

Ruby: But we're still lying about-

Nora: No we're not! We're just tagging along on his journey to Mistral! And it just so happens to be the same way we're going! So everything works out!

Ren: Intentionally concealing the truth is still lying Nora.

Nora: So you want to hurt his feelings by telling him we had no idea about this contest or his desire to be a baker?

Ren: ...

Ruby: Q_Q

Nora's smug smile grew wider.

Nora: Thought so!

_____

_____

A Short While Later

At the northern gate into the town, Amaz and Steff came together to say their goodbyes.

Amaz: Are you sure you don't want to stay? We could really use the help here at the store.

Amaz handed Y/N a pack of food which he stored neatly into his pack.

(Y/N): Yes. I must do this.

Steff: But the 'Baker's Brigade'? You realize how difficult it is to join them, right?

(Y/N): Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I can handle anything they throw at me.

Steff gave Amaz a look before sighing.

Steff: We'll miss you man.

(Y/N): Once I get my own badge I'll make sure to come back and help expand the bakery! After all, there are a lot of perks for being part of the brigade.

Amaz smirked.

Amaz: Well then, you'd better get it done quickly. I want assistants. A dozen of them.

(Y/N): You just don't want to do any work.

Amaz: Who does?

Steff stepped forward and outstretched his hand.

Steff: Good luck.

Y/N smiled before giving Steff a big hug.

(Y/N): Thanks for hiring me man, I won't forget it.

Amaz: Hey, do I get a hug?

Y/N frowned at the Faunas.

(Y/N): You shook me like a can of soda! No, you don't get a hug!

Amaz: Well sorry for trying to console you!

(Y/N): If that's how you 'console' people, I don't want to know what you do to people you dislike.

Amaz smiled wide.

Amaz: Damn right!

After their short goodbyes, Y/N joined with Ruby, Nora, Jaune, and Ren, a little ways down the road.

Ruby: Ready?

(Y/N): Yes! Onward and outward!

Ruby noticed that Y/N was still wearing his fake mustache.

Ruby: Are you going to wear that mustache the whole way?

(Y/N): Huh? Oh!

Y/N completely forgot he'd been wearing his 'disguise' this whole time and gently removed it.

(Y/N): Only when we head into a town.

Nora: I still can't believe that no one recognized you.

(Y/N): Hey, sometimes a simple solution is all you need. Let's get going.

Before they could start their journey a voice came from behind them in the direction of the town.

Mr. Big: Ms. Rose! Ms. Rose!

The group turned around to see a duo of well-mannered and well-dressed bounty hunters approaching them.

Ruby looked at them in surprise as they came to her with a small package in the hands of the the larger Mr. Small.

Mr. Big: Ms. Rose we are delighted to have caught you before you left!

Ruby: O-oh! Mr. Big and Mr. Small, right?

The gentleman smiled.

Mr. Big: Despite our interaction prior was as brief as it was, you remember us!

Mr. Big patted his companion on the shoulder.

Mr. Big: I guess I owe you twenty lien my friend!

Mr. Small gave a small smug smile.

Ruby: W-what can I do for you guys?

Mr. Big: Worry not, we will not keep you long. We merely wished to give you a farewell gift before you departed.

Ruby: Oh, sure!

Mr. Small stepped forward and handed Ruby a small package.

Mr. Small: This is the last piece of the lemon bars Ms. Wells had made. I wanted to share with you.

Ruby accepted the gift.

Ruby: Aw, thank you!

Mr. Big: We wanted to thank you for helping Ms. Wells when she needed help. Such chivalry is far too rare nowadays.

Ruby smiled at the two men.

Ruby: I humbly accept!

Nora: Aw man, Ruby got lemon cake too!? I should've helped that lady yesterday!

After making sure she received their gift, the two gentlemen bowed slightly.

Mr. Big: Well then, we'll leave you to it. Safe travels Ms. Ro-

As he bowed, Mr. Big noticed the young man standing with her.

Y/N and Mr. Big's eyes met before he pulled out the wanted poster he'd stored in his pocket.

Mr. Big: Hold on... is that?...

Mr. Big looked at the photo and then back to Y/N.

Then back to the photo.

Then back to Y/N.

Then back to the photo.

Then back to Y/N.

Y/N touched the top of his lip.

(Y/N): Oh right.

_____

(Y/N): Are you fucking kidding me!?!?!

Mr. Big: Stop right there criminal scum!!!

Now running down the road instead of walking, Y/N, Ruby, Nora, Jaune, and Ren, were being chased by two professional bounty hunters.

Or more specifically, Y/N was being pursued while the others were running alongside him.

(Y/N): Can't we talk about this!?

BANG

(Y/N): Gah!

Mr. Big's response was to activate his cane which configured itself into a long rifle and fired a powerful Dust-infused bullet that barely missed Y/N and crashed into a tree turning it into splinters.

Ruby: Please, let us explain!

Ruby's pleading was lost on the now determined bounty hunters.

Mr. Big: Apologies Ms. Rose, but we are professionals if nothing else!

Nora glanced back at the two men chasing them and then turned to Y/N.

Nora: Can't you just beat them up!? It'd take like, two seconds!!

(Y/N): I am not going to harm two men who are willing to help an old lady with her groceries!

Nora: You hated that old lady!

(Y/N): That says more about my character than theirs!

Jaune: They're shooting at you!!!

(Y/N): That's part of their job!!! That's like getting angry at a retail worker when your coupons expire!!

Ruby: Those are completely different!!

(Y/N): Why does everyone want to solve things with violence all the time!? Are alternatives anathema to all of you!?

Nora: When you can throw a ten ton mech with one arm, YES!!!!

(Y/N): Arrrrgh!! You guys are-

BOOM

Y/N's argument was interrupted when a large spiked metal ball soared a few inches from his body and slammed into the ground near him.

(Y/N): What the-!?

Y/N had to dodge again as the ball was suddenly pulled back toward him by the thick black chain it was attached to.

(Y/N): Gah!!!

The ball flew past him, and glancing back, Y/N discovered that Mr. Small's weapon was a large mace that doubled as a ball and chain.

Mr. Small: No one breaks the law on my watch!

(Y/N): Damnit!!

Nora groaned in frustration.

Nora: That's it! I'm shooting them!

Before Nora could turn and fire her grenade launcher at their pursuers, Y/N stopped her.

(Y/N): Wait! I have an idea!

Y/N slid to a halt and turned to face the two well-mannered bounty hunters.

Mr. Big and Mr. Small came to a halt themselves and glared at Y/N, their weapons at the ready.

Mr. Big: It's all over, lawbreaker! Your spree is at an end!

(Y/N): Not today, copper!

Y/N drew his right foot back and threw it forward into the dirt. What happened after shocked the two bounty hunters.

Had anyone else done what Y/N did they would have only kicked up a small amount of dirt maybe would have gone a few feet forward. When Y/N did it a gigantic chunk of the forest floor was uprooted and sent hurtling toward the two men.

Mr. Small: 0_o

Mr. Big: Wait! I just had my clothes clea-

SLUMP

The massive mound of dirt instantly buried the would be bounty hunters before they could move to dodge.

Ruby: Huh, I guess that works...

Not a few moment later did Mr. Small's hand shot out of the pile of dirt and immediately after the large man, followed by his smaller compatriot, rose from the dirt.

Mr. Big: Do you think a little dirt is enough to stop u-

Mr. Big was shocked to see that Y/N was gone, instead he saw Barnsby Macmillan IV looking at him.

Mr. Big: W-what!?

Y/N, now wearing his fake mustache again, pointed out toward the forest.

Barnsby: He went that a-way!

Mr. Big and Mr. Small narrowed their eyes at Barnby, seemingly suspicious of him.

Y/N started to sweat a little.

Mr. Big: Right!

Mr. Big tapped the shoulder of his companion.

Mr. Big: Let's go, chum! We have a criminal to apprehend!

Ruby, Nora, Jaune, and Ren, stared in disbelief as the two 'professional' bounty hunters instantly ran off into the forest.

Jaune: ...no way...

Y/N shot his hands up in victory.

(Y/N): Yus!!!!

_____

_____

The Following Night

Anima Wilderness

Having lost their pursuers and with the Moon rising in the sky, the group set up a small campsite and sat together around the fire.

(Y/N): Is this everything?

Y/N looked at the packs that the group brought along and the sleeping bags laid around them.

Ren: Yes.

Y/N gave a sigh of relief, finally relaxing after the day's early 'excitement'.

(Y/N): Finally...

Jaune: Are we sure those two aren't still after us?

Ren: Technically, they're after Y/N, but they would have shown up by now if they were.

Jaune: Well that's good news...

As everyone began to relax around the fire, Ruby perked up.

Ruby: Tell us about one of your adventures!

Y/N sighed.

(Y/N): We just set up camp, Ruby.

Ruby: Aw come on! You promised!

Y/N looked at the others.

(Y/N): Does anyone else want to?

Jaune: Eh.

Ren: Sure.

Nora: Yes!!!

Y/N rolled his eyes and began to think.

(Y/N): Fine... Let's see...

Nora: Tell us a weird one!

Ruby: Yeah! Something interesting!

Ruby and Nora looked like excited children while Ren was more restrained but still interested. Jaune seemed less interested, but couldn't hide his own curiosity.

(Y/N): Uh... I was a woman for a year.

Ruby and Nora blinked.

Ruby: ...what?

(Y/N): Yep. Touched a rock, turned me into a woman.

There was silence as the others stared at Y/N like he'd suddenly changed colors.

Nora raised her hand.

Nora: I have questions.

(Y/N): Gave birth and everything.

Nora: I have more questions.

(Y/N): Yep. Burst right through my chest cavity.

Nora: I... what.

(Y/N): Yep, it was a real struggle being a single mother.

_____

Many Years Ago

Xenomorph: *hiss* *snarl*

(Y/N): Well I'm the best you have!!!

Xenomorph: *screech*

The alien ran up stairs and slammed the door to its room.

Y/N started crying into his apron.

_____

Present

Nora: That... you... I...

(Y/N): Needless to say, it was a bad idea to raise an alien organism that was hellbent on consuming all organic life other than its own.

_____

Many Years Ago

(Y/N): Don't make me do this! I love you!!!

Xenomorph Queen: *screech* *snarl*

The massive alien appeared to have tears going down its face as it charged Y/N.

_____

Present

Y/N sighed.

(Y/N): That was a dark time...

The others stared at Y/N with theirs mouths agape.

Ren: Are... all your stories like that?

(Y/N): Vague, bizarre, and incredibly traumatizing?

Ren: Uh...

(Y/N): Yes. Yes they are.

Y/N took a sip from his canteen before he noticed everyone staring at him.

(Y/N): Hey, you guys asked.

Ren: Let's change the topic...

Nora: Oh! I know! How about you-

Y/N frowned at Nora.

(Y/N): You're going to ask me to train you guys, aren't you?

Nora: Y-yeah! How did you know?

(Y/N): Nora, I can almost guarantee that you'll abuse such knowledge.

Nora: Hmph.

Ruby chuckled at her teammate.

(Y/N): I know you would too, Ruby.

Ruby: Aw what!?

(Y/N): The only people here who have the most responsibility are Ren and Jaune. Not you two.

Ren: Thank you for the compliment.

Jaune was surprised.

Jaune: Yeah, thanks.

Nora: Aw come on! You don't have to teach me everything! Just how to throw a mech with one arm!

(Y/N): No! I can already tell you'd abuse such ability the moment you learned it.

Nora sank in her seat and started to pout.

(Y/N): Don't you make that face at me, you know I'm right.

Ren: Actually, you should teach us.

Y/N looked at Ren, perplexed.

(Y/N): What you talkin' bout Ren?

Ren: We're your bodyguards, right?

(Y/N): So far you guys have left things to be desired.

Ren: Then you should teach us to be better.

(Y/N): Why would I do that?

Ren: If we're better, then you won't have to fight as hard and leave all the combat to us.

Nora: Yeah that's right!

(Y/N): I don't know...

Ruby: Please?

(Y/N): Ruby, let me thin- What are you doing with your face!?

Ruby's eyes became perfectly round and her mouth seemed to shrink.

Ruby's signature 'puppy eyes'.

(Y/N): I... you... I don't trust...

Ruby: Pweeaase?

(Y/N): Q_Q

_____

_____

Author:

Merry Christm- Damnit!!!!

Happy New Ye- Fuck!!!

...

Happy 2022! Ha! I'm not late, I'm just ridiculously early. >:D