(Unedited)

The sound of my alarm wakes me up. On most days, I will jump out of bed immediately to turn off the noise before either my parents or Dryden come to see if I have not died in my sleep. This is not the option that I prefer.

Finally, after getting up and proceeding further onto a warm shower, I finalised my routine. Except something deemed different from usual, yet I couldn't figure out what. Slipping on my Ember River sweater vest, placing the tie correctly, I hear a ping from my phone.

A new selfie had appeared from Christian. This time, he was wearing a New England Revolution jersey, a black fedora, and blue sunglasses. His confidence became evident from the corner of his mouth. Stereotypical and inaccurate media portrays homosexuality as a parade of faith, as homosexuals like me navigate acceptance and rejection alike-Christian's confidence in who he has eroded my confidence as I stared in awe at the picture.

In the kitchen, I hear my parents talking amongst themselves about something. I didn't pay any attention before I left the house. I didn't want to take the bus, but I didn't ask either Christian or Dryden for a ride.

***

It still didn't feel natural when Christian proudly referred to me by my nickname as I approached my locker. "What are you doing tonight?" he asked as I opened my locker and grabbed the copy of Lord of the Flies I needed.

"Time travel, maybe Netflix, that Cobra Kai season, yeah, totally with Robbie," I tell Christian as I shut my locker. However, he wrinkled his eyes in disdain, and he seemed to have had something else in mind.

"You're something else," Christian tells me as we start heading towards class. I question the right time and way to tell him who and what I am each passing step. Even if you barely know them, every interaction you have with anybody is a never-ending anxiety battle. It's the stereotypes they cling to you without your knowledge or consent. My lingering thought being he's not far from the truth.

"That's your return to the one you worked with last night?" I blurted out as we walked into the classroom. As we walked to our bench, silence slipped between us. If this were an alternate universe, I am sure we would have had a very different outcome. I knew I didn't hold the confidence that Christian Day held with every stride he paraded around, yet I found myself wanting to understand him more by the day.

As class lingers on to notes and endearment of homework assignments with deadlines, I wager into more diagrammatic drawing as to how it would come with hope for passing a requirement spectrum.

After class, I left for my lockers when I heard a notification ping, and I did not have to look to see who it was. I didn't reply this morning, as I thought I'd do it later -- maybe in art class.

Could Christian think I was trying to avoid him if I didn't reply to him? Is that usually the case when you don't respond to someone? I wasn't entirely sure, but I didn't know what to expect either.

Like the previous night, I decided to text him even if it was something as simple as a smiley face. I started the text but erased it immediately. Why would I text him at school? Would anyone even notice?

While attending art class, I decided to draw a squiggly line, even though it had no actual plot or goal. I figured it was the first step and could very well end up leading to some brilliant artistic work by the end of the semester, and as Simon had put it, my inspiration would come to me.

I had no idea who Dryden was talking to as he stood up against his car. I could have been another football player, but I wasn't sure. Slipping my earbuds in, instead, I found myself walking towards Christian's Jeep.

"Would I be able to get a ride home?" I ask Christian, though I already know the answer. His Ember River vest has already been thrown in the back, leaving him with just a clear white Polo and black school pants, plus his classic vans.

"C'mon," he signals and opens the door for me. "I won't leave you stranded," he adds as he inserts a cassette tape into the Jeep's cassette player, giving it a retro vibe, which I hadn't noticed before.

"Thanks," I say, not knowing how I feel about what he had told me about not leaving me stranded. Even though I was disdained to be on the bus, it still seemed better than Dryden having football practice without telling me.

"You need to learn how to vibe more," Christian tells me as he pulls out of the student parking lot, leaving me to wonder what he is saying. "Honestly," he adds as he gains a louder volume as a familiar beat fills the air.

"I don't need to chill more. What I need is," what exactly did I need? Did I need to expose something about myself that would make him comfortable? I didn't need to justify myself towards him, and I needed to focus on keeping my grades up at the most possible.

Like the cassette tape changes to a song by the Fray I recognise, Christian says, "Keep those colours up, then." I was sure he had meant walls when he said colours, but I didn't correct him. He turns down a road I hadn't travelled before, taking in the view as fall weather continues to show its slow peaks. He starts air drumming on his knee when another song switches, keeping up with the beat. Something that I found rather amusingly calming.

"What is this place?" I ask once he stops the Jeep and pulls out his messenger bag. I had no idea where we were; all I knew was that the area looked like it hadn't been visited for a long time, much like the lake. In this spot, there was no lake, just a field with golden wheat growing and pine trees surrounding it. The setting sun added a beautiful touch as if the area were made out of gold, and we could take it. Our gold mine that no one knew about.

"Just an empty field on the edge of town," Christian tells me as he takes his phone out to snap a picture. I wasn't sure what he had wanted the concept for, and maybe another photo he'd post later to his Instagram. "And science. The ground, air, and we are a mix of science," he added, throwing his typical Christian facts into the mix.

"We're in Physics." I tell Christian as I brush my hand over the wheat, "None of that is in the material," As the feeling runs over my nerves, I let out a slightly soft chuckle.

Christian says with a prominent empire voice, "That's where you're wrong, my apprentice Jedi," though I knew it wasn't the Empire who led the Jedi. Ever since I stopped watching Star Wars as part of my childhood, I forgot about it. "We're in a class that has everything to do with nature," he adds as he pulls his cell phone out again.

"We're in Physics," I tell Christian, brushing my hand over the wheat, "None of that is contained in the material." I let out a slightly soft chuckle as the feeling hits my nerves.

"Exactly. It's just like I explained last night," he starts to explain again as I think about the previous night. The night he introduced himself to my family. Some gravitational force changed between us that night, but I did not ask. We were just friends, or at least what I thought we were. "We're dismissed in a free fall of how life works," he said, breaking me from the trance of my thoughts.

"Freefall. Isn't that kind of like velocity? It's a formula in gravity," I ask with hindrance in my voice. Despite how we had read about the action last night, I still had to ask about it as I sat down in the middle of the field. He does not seem to answer me as he takes another photo of the amber sun setting, darkening the golden hue. Then finally sitting down, back two to me.

"He says, "In a way, yeah. Good to see you learning the ways of scientific notation," as he raises his head towards my neck, setting my nerves on fire. Grateful, he couldn't see the pigment in my face return as it had before as he continued to tell me something about physics and how it involves us.

"We might all be scientists, and the world will probably judge us anyway, right?" I ask as we continue to sit in the field, back to back with each other, neither of us willing to move as he shifts his head to my shoulder.

"You read over three hundred pages in a book, and that is all you come up with?" he asks as he breaks our back-to-back session. The moment has vanished from whatever illusionary connection we may have had, leaving me to realise that it would never come back as the breeze tousled his sandy blonde hair.

"In that case, wouldn't my question be somewhat valid? If science leads to human life, and everyone judges you in any case, mightn't my question be somewhat pertinent?" I ask him now as I stand up, facing him as he holds his phone in front of me.

In response, he places his phone back in his messenger bag. "We're dealing with physics here, not human science," he says, showing his smirk. The one that shows he's confident, the one that shows he's right as we walk back to his Jeep.

"All science is, in one way or another, interconnected," I tell him as we reach the Jeep and climb in, not waiting for him to open the door for me, as I have done the past few times. It would be too much for him to do that at this point.

"I'm proud of you already," he boasts sarcastically as if we had already finished the short debate we were having a few moments ago. Had he been proud of me? It didn't seem so affirmative when he said it.

In response, "You don't sound so delighted to say it," I replied quickly. "Most people say it with more enthusiasm," I added as I surveyed the scenery from the passenger's seat as the music continued to play.

The words to a song from High School Musical had been playing as we pulled near the driveway. It seemed longer this time around than what it had last time. By now, I was sure that my parents had figured out that I wasn't with Dryden or had taken the bus. What would my reason be as I worked it out in my mind?

Leaving the door open to collect my bag from the backseat, I say a final "see you tomorrow" to him before sliding out of the Jeep. As he leaves, I throw my bag over my shoulder, then enter the house, where I knew my parents would be waiting to learn what I'd been doing.

You didn't even tell me where you went," Dryden said to me as I entered the den. Why was he there? It wasn't his usual night to be here, especially after football practice. He seldom showed up after training anyway, unless it was to play the role of making sure I had done my homework or make an attempt to do so.

"I was with a boy from class," I tell him truthfully, being careful not to reveal that the boy was Christian. I did not find anything that would have led him to know anything known about him. "Plus, I didn't even know you were waiting for me," I add as though this would sum up the situation.

"I waited for you. I talked to another player on the team, and not once did you think to mention, hey, I'm getting a ride home or something?" Dryden piles against me. It was a small thing, but I should have at least thought of it.

"Look, I'm sorry, and I didn't tell you," I told Dryden immediately. If I had told him, I would have never had an afternoon of exploring a field, sitting with Christian and having a small debate about science. "I'll tell you next time," I add as though that would justify what Dryden had just said.

"Fine," Dryden says as he heads for the door to the garden; I do not stop him, as the door slams behind him and my mother rushes out to investigate.

"You're home," she implies as she sees me, giving me nothing in return. Maybe I had been lucky enough for her to ask where I had been or had I been loud enough when I told Dryden where I had been? The silence lingers in the air between us before I tell her that I'm heading to do homework.

I hid the earbuds in my ear while I sat on my bed with my books to do some homework. The plan worked long enough to read a paragraph about simple physics experiments. At that moment, a text notification goes off.

It was a picture instead of a text that Christian had taken as we sat back to back in the field, looking at the sunset, and the sun had covered me in a silhouette in the sunlight earlier. With the caption Edge of Physics.

That's not how physics works, remember? I text back. As I waited for a response, I saved the photo to my phone, and no one should be on my phone, so I had no problem keeping it.

Christian:
No way. I thought it was 😉😉

That had been Christian's perspective as he replied. What should I say next when we started to get somewhere in our newfound friendship earlier.

Me:
I was attempting another study session 😁😏

Several emojis are added to the text. I started liking what he was texting, something rather amusingly calming, or was it a ploy to get to know each other better gradually?

Christain:
See you tomorrow at your locker Hemsworth. 🌄🧠

I've got two tests to study for tomorrow, and you might be a problem.

I'd received that text from him before, now wondering how I could be a problem for him if he didn't share the same sexual orientation as me. Something I was sure of but wouldn't ask him. With that thought, I turn my attention back to my physics book.