CASSIUS

Warren and I are sitting at a table, tucked in the very back corner of a sports bar. It's public enough that nothing bad should happen, but still private enough for this conversation. This very serious conversation that should have happened a long time ago.

It wasn't until Quinn interrogated me about the past I've been trying to keep under wraps that I decided I needed to get this out of the way. It wasn't an easy choice – took me almost a week to work up the courage to go through with it – but I don't want this situation looming over my head for the rest of my life.

I'm surprised Ryan Farrow agreed to meet with me, to be honest. But I think if it weren't for Warren being the mediator, he would have tried to have me arrested for even reaching out to him.

He was friends with my brother at one point, used to run in the same crowd. This whole situation put an end to that, but I guess he still trusts him enough to show up.

So here we are, waiting for the guy I nearly killed to walk through those doors and sit down with us. I'm nauseous and the twitch in my fingers is damn near uncontrollable.

I've been playing with the ring of condensation my beer left behind on the table for the past fifteen minutes while Warren watches the football game on one of the dozens of TVs. I managed to draw a few different pictures, but now it's just a smear of water.

"He's here." Warren informs me in a hushed tone.

I can't bring myself to look up. Maybe if I just pretend I don't see him, this whole thing will go away. Once he walks up and hovers over the table, I have no choice. My eyes trail up until they meet his.

He looks the same. Definitely the guy I saw Skylar with at the library. And I'd never forget that brown-eyed glare because it's the same one he gave me when I approached him outside of his class. The one he had when he testified against me in court.

He stares at me like he's seeing a ghost.

I rise to my feet and extend my hand for a friendly shake. Ryan hesitates, understandably, so Warren stands up too.

"There's a lot we need to talk about, so let's just get down to it." He demands with authority.

Ryan and I both respond accordingly, easing ourselves down into the chairs. Warren grabs the pitcher of beer off the table and pours some into a glass for Ryan.

There were a million things I wanted to say to this kid but, now that I'm in the same vicinity as him, I've got nothing. My mind is a blank canvas and the entire week of inner monologues just doesn't seem good enough anymore.

My eyes flash to Warren, silently begging for help with a hopeless look on my face. He's always been better than me at this kind of stuff. I'm used to just grabbing people and tossing them or flat out ending a conversation. Warren has the skills to actually keep a conversation flowing smoothly.

He nods, encouraging me to just get this shit off my chest. We both know it's been weighing heavy since the day I got shoved in the back of that police car. He wants me to take the lead. I wish I could criticize him for being a shit older brother right now, but that's in no way true.

Warren lost half of his friends when I...had my lapse in judgement. He got harassed by a few of them after he stood by me in court once learning the whole story. He lost me once I got thrown in a cell. His daughter lost her only uncle during that time.

I didn't just fuck up my own life. I flipped Warren's and Ryan's lives upside down as well.

"Ryan, I'm sorry." I blurt out, unable to come up with anything more elaborate.

His eyes narrow on my face as he sips his beer.

"Okay." Is all he says in return, shrugging without a care in the world.

I planned on laying everything out for him but, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like I was just placing the blame on Skylar. Even though a lot of this shit is because of her, I want to take responsibility for my own actions rather than push it off onto someone else.

"I let my temper get the best of me and I should have handled the situation better. I never meant for things to go as far as they did, and I'll never be able to express how sorry I am for what I did."

"Yeah, you should have handled it better." He says flatly.

Warm reunification wasn't something I had in mind, but neither is this. Whatever this is. Just complete disregard for what I'm saying. I guess it's deserved.

"Alright, enough." Warren scoffs, shaking his head. "This shit is ridiculous. You both know that girl was a crazy bitch, so why are we dancing around it right now?"

Well, my brother has never had a problem with throwing people under the bus or speaking the truth. Ryan stares at him with skeptical curiosity. At least it's not the look of disinterest he had towards me.

"So, you're trying to say Skylar beat me within an inch of my life? I know my head was fucked up pretty bad, but I'm almost positive it was Cassius' fist that dealt the damage." His face is made of stone as he glares in my direction.

Warren actually fucking smirks at the guy.

"Go ahead, Cass. Tell 'em what happened." He muses, leaning back in his chair.

Jesus Christ, this is uncomfortable.

"Warren, I don't think I should go there right –"

"Just tell 'em, Cass."

A swallow gets stuck in my throat, so I take a huge sip of beer to remedy it.

"Alright. So, uh...you know me and Skylar were dating for a while before you showed up."

"Yep. Found out after you went psycho on my ass." He retorts with a sarcastic smile.

I don't know if I can do this. He's not going to listen to anything I have to say, so what's the point? This entire thing was a bad idea. I just wanted to have as much as possible resolved before I told Quinn about it.

Fuck. I need to do this.

"Well boys, allow me to interject since this is goin nowhere. Lemme lay it out for ya, Ryan." Warren begins, propping his elbow on the table as he leans in closer to Ryan.

I've always known that patience isn't a virtue Warren possesses, but I really hoped his wife would have been able to drill some of hers into that thick skull of his by now.

"Cass here found out she was cheatin on him with you. But you already knew that. Whatcha don't know is that, when he tried to end it, she decided to throw you to the wolves, my friend. Sorry to break it to ya, but she never gave a fuck about you. You were just another project."

Shiiiiit.

"Throw me to the wolves?" Ryan asks with a bored expression.

"Yep. Told 'em the only reason she ever got involved with your ass is because she was scared of ya. That you would stalk 'er, threaten 'er. And the sex I'm sure you were both enjoying so much at the time? Yeah, that wasn't consensual according to her."

Ryan's eyes grow wide, filling with shock, doubt and disgust. The same way mine looked when Skylar first told me about everything he was supposedly doing to her.

"You're joking right?" His voice is strained as he leans in, looking between Warren and I for confirmation.

"When I saw you outside that day, I just couldn't fucking control myself, man. I thought - I believed her. She cried about it for weeks. She'd have a breakdown every time I'd try to ask her about it. Just seeing you waiting for her triggered something in me. I thought you were gonna hurt her. She fucking got me." I mumble, disappointed in myself.

I should have known she was lying. I always know when people are lying. But who makes something like that up? It's sick. She's sick. And it was all just to keep me from breaking up with her. Why the fuck would you ruin someone's reputation just to avoid a breakup?

"I never - I wouldn't - holy shit. I swear, I never touched her. Not like that." Ryan adamantly shakes his head, probably still trying to process everything.

"I know that now. I just...I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Even if it was true, I should have had more control over myself."

As if professionally choreographed, we all lift the beers to our mouths and start drinking, like it will reverse time and keep Skylar from ever interfering. I don't think any of us know what to say right now.

Skylar was a senior and I had already graduated when everything went down. The day I saw him waiting for her after class, he never stood a chance. I was ready to kill him, to be completely transparent. Until I almost did.

I had him by his throat before he could even glance in my direction. One well-placed punch by a trained fighter was all it took for him to go down. Cracking his head against the concrete wasn't expected, though.

Every time I go for a run in the park surrounding campus, I still see the faded blood stained into the pathway. There was a lot of blood.

I was so numb that I didn't even resist the cops when they cuffed me and dragged me to the squad car. All I cared about was that Ryan got what he deserved for treating Skylar the way he did. I was at peace with my decision.

But then I noticed Skylar crying hysterically as she knelt next to Ryan's limp body. I knew in that moment that something wasn't right. If he was abusing her, why would she rush to his side?

Why would she sit in the hospital with him while he recovered from a skull fracture along with countless other injuries? Why would she stand in that court room and squeeze his hand while his testimony was helping them convict me of a felony?

They charged me with second degree assault but, by the end of the trial, my lawyers managed to get it knocked down to third degree. A misdemeanor. I'm grateful for that, I really am. But I still wish it all played out differently.

I spent my twenty-third birthday in prison. Thanksgiving. My mum's birthday. I missed it all.

The day before I got out, Skylar filed a one-week protective order against me, spouting the same shit to the cops that she did to me about Ryan. I had no idea.

So, when she called me two days later and asked to meet up to hash everything out, I almost fell into the trap. I needed answers. I didn't know what was going on, how we got to this point.

Luckily, Warren didn't trust it. He called up to the courthouse and found out about the order, so I never showed up to her house. She wanted my ass thrown right back in that cell so she wouldn't have to face the reality of what she had done. As soon as it expired, she started showing up to the club.

It's fucking crazy, all of it. I thought this shit only happened in movies. Still to this day, I have a hard time comprehending how someone is capable of something so slimy.

She claimed to love me for three years. I gave up everything during the course of our relationship. And then she threw me away like I was a piece of trash, with no regard for me or anyone else.