[Well, this was meant to be fluff. It's actually angsty, though. Very. Sorry, it just sort of evolved. Just a warning.]

She didn't even hear it land this time.

It was silent. He had actually left the brakes off. Well, this was quite impressive. The only way she knew it was there was the fact that the TARDIS immediately sent a little wave of pure time through whenever she landed near.

She almost laughed when it landed, but then she felt something else. It wasn't just time, there was a message... and it wasn't a happy one.

The Doctor didn't come out of the TARDIS for a good 5 minutes. When he finally did, she didn't bother looking up at him. "Alright, what's wrong?"

He didn't reply, and she looked up. His eyes were slightly red, and his face wasn't wearing the normal grin he usually had when he walked in. Those facts weren't what made her accidentally gasp aloud, though. It was the fact the he was wearing every year of his life in his eyes. They weren't sparkling. They just looked old.

He didn't look at her, and instead immediately went to sonic the lock and sit down on her cot beside her. He didn't do anything, then. It worried her. She had never know the Doctor to be completely still. Ever. Even when he was sleeping, he wiggled his fingers, or his toes, or would unconsciensly run his thumb over her skin. But now.... he was sitting completely still, eyes shut.

She bit her lip. What kind of mood was he in? When he turned into the Oncoming Storm, she didn't touch him. If she did, he would lash out verbally or physically. When he had lost people, though, he needed to be touched. He needed an affection to remind him that he wasn't alone. When he was angry at himself.... well, she had yet to figure out that one. It depended on how long it took him to calm down with her talking. About halfway to him being fully calmed down, she would add a little affection or caress.

He continued to stare at the colorless concrete floor. After a moment, he spoke,- well, whispered. "I'm tired, River."

She turned to him and observed him again. No, she decided, this was a combination. Of which one, she wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry." She finally responded.

He sighed and lifted his gaze to hers. "I... I left them."

Left who? She could never guess exactly how old he was with this version. Besides, right now, he was showing all his years. It was impossible to tell. Was this after her parents, with another companion? Or was it her parents?

"When are we?" She decided on.

He gave a humorless snort. "I suppose you would know. Your parents... I gave them a house. So they could stop travelling and live their lives normally. If they stay with me... if they stay with me, something will happen. No sense of ruining their lives any more than I already have." He said, dropping his eyes to the ground again.

Angry at himself and sort of like him losing some one. This wasn't it, though. This was right before they married.

She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers. Maybe he didn't need words.

He squeezed her hand gently. "This is tiring me out."

She hesitantly scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder. "It'll get better soon, I promise."

"Yeah. I'll find another person I can drag along, letting them be with me and show them the universe, just to lose them too. Then I do the same thing. Be sad about it, and then forget them when the next comes along." He said quietly. She rubbed her hand soothingly over his back. "No, honey. That's not what I meant."

He didn't say anything back for a moment. Then his voice broke back through the silence.

"Am I a good man, River?"

He didn't say do you think I'm a good man, she noted. He asked her the question as if her answer would be final.

She brought her other hand to rest on his thigh.

"Best man I've ever known."

He tilted his head down to look at her. "It's hard to believe that."

She reached up and kissed his chin. "You mentioned you were tired, Doctor." She said.

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. I thought you'd get what I mean." She smiled sadly up at him. "Of course I do. But do you know what you need to do to fix that?"

"No."

"Maybe you're tired since it's been too long since you've slept."

He stiffened at that, and she knew it would be his first time. Everyone thought he never slept, thought it was some Time Lord thing. River knew the truth, though. He didn't like sleep. Not at this point in his time stream, anyway. His demons haunted him at night, ghosts lost and gone and woven into his dreams. Besides, this wasn't just sleeping. This was him trusting in her.

She stood up, still holding his hand. "Come on. I'll be there."

He reluctantly stood and walked into the TARDIS with her.

She tugged him down a corridor, stopping in front of a door etched with his name in Gallifreyan.

He shook his head at her. His room wasn't nice or comforting. It was dark and messy and the only reason he even had it was because he had to sleep once every six months.

She smiled reassuringly at him and turned the knob.

He blinked a couple times at his room. Well, not his room, apparently. Their room.

 The walls were painted the shade of the TARDIS, and were decorated with all kinds of pictures and a-was that Vincent Van Goph? The ceiling was a view of stars and galaxies, the perks of having a time machine in another dimension. There were a few lamps scattered across the room that lit the room up with a warm yellow glow. There were two dressers against the wall, one obviously his, with some tweed thrown across and several random machines, the other definitely River's, with lipstick in a neat line, along with a hairbrush and the perfume she wore. There was a desk in the corner of the room- his desk, he realized, somehow cleaned up and looking new. But it wasn't papers from UNIT anymore-now it was littered with sketches of artifacts and college papers. There was a love seat in the middle of the large room, also TARDIS blue, and a large bookshelf in another corner, which was stuffed with books. The bed- the very large bed, he thought, had a mahogany headboard and, again, a TARDIS blue comforter.

River was looking at him, gauging his reaction. It was his first time seeing their room, he knew. He was after Berlin, so he was close enough. The Doctor opened and closed his mouth several times before firmly shutting it and squeezing her hand. "Is this... isn't it... this counts as spoilers?" He tried.

She rolled her eyes fondly. "You need some rest, and I didn't want to use the room you had before the TARDIS redecorated. I couldn't stay on that tiny thing you called a bed, too." He shrugged. She had a point.

"So, we... we have a room."

"Yes."

"Together."

"That is what it looks like, I suppose."

He shoot her a little glare and straightened his bow tie. "You know, this is leaning heavily toward my 'married' theory."

She smirked at him. "You don't have to be married to share a room, honey." She said, and went to sit down on the bed. He followed, tripping over air on the way there.

She was untying her boots, and he couldn't think of why until he remembered the reason they came in there.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and reached down to his own boots. He could do this. Sleeping with River in a bed. Nothing going on, just lying next to each other. Why shouldn't he be able to do that?

For one, you do tend to dream not-so-nice things when you sleep.

Shut up, brain! He argued. She's done this with me in the future, so she knows.

River stood and took off her bracelet and necklace, setting them on the dresser- her dresser, he reminded himself. Then took the jacket she had on off, laying it across the back of the love seat.

He still fumbled with one of his shoe laces.

She came back beside him, and reached down with a fond chuckle to undo and take the boots off smoothly. He sighed and slipped his tweed and braces off, throwing them onto the floor.

River watched him, noticing how quickly his mood had slipped away when she showed him their room. It was so much easier for him just to forget everything. Regretting was too difficult.

He untucked his shirt, and slipped his belt off. He almost pulled his trousers off, too, but remembered that River was there, and sleeping like he normally did wouldn't be the best idea when the furthest they've gone is kissing. He reached up to his shirt and started unbuttoning it, though. No way was he going to sleep in it.

He was so focused in the buttons he didn't realize River had stripped down to a tank top and put on a pair of his boxers until he had the shirt off. He gave a little squeak, and she raised an eyebrow. "Honestly. I've got on clothes."

The Doctor blushed and decided the trousers could go off, too.

He slid under the covers next to her, and propped his head up on his elbow, fringe running across his eyes. She mimicked his actions. "Alright?"

He bit his lip. "Um, yeah. Do you want me to..." he paused. "you know, do you want me to- Well, that is, while we're sleeping, I don't-" She laid a finger on his lips and gave him an amused smile, then took it off when he shut up.

He raised his eyebrows, and she rolled her eyes and scooted closer, throwing a hand over his waist and burying her face in his chest.

He was about to squirm and protest, since her knee was digging into his thigh, but he realized he didn't mind her being so warm and soft and smooth against him. Not to mention the fact that he could do something he had wanted to do since he had met the woman- run his fingers through her hair.

"Go to sleep, and I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

He nodded, then he realized she couldn't see him. "Yeah."

       So he slept, with his future wife in his arms. That wasn't to say it helped his dreams- they were just as gruesome as they had always been.

This one was him fighting in the War, and watching his brother die for the last time as he was shot down by a Dalek. It was one of the bloodiest fights there were, with children only 20 years old regenerating and fighting and dying right in front of him as he fought. He shot at the eyestalks of random Daleks, running and ducking and avoiding shrapnel.

Then he had the worst, the one he always had- the one he really avoided sleep for. There was his sister- his wonderful, loving sister who had always helped him and played alongside him and sang to him when they were younger-running straight into the enemy ship and blowing it up with her in it.

He woke with a start, tears streaming down his face and his sister's Galifreyan name flying from his lips.

Then he felt different loving hands stroking his shoulder and reassuring him in his native language. River.

His breathing slowed, as did the beat of his hearts. Not that his tears did.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling into a soft hug.

It was then he realized part of the reason he was in love with River Song.

She was wonderful, loving, helped him, reassured him, and was one of the bravest people he'd ever known. Very familiar, indeed.

He eventually stopped crying and laid back down, pulling her firmly to him again. He may have had to face his death, but he didn't have to do it alone. He could trust her. He did trust her.

In fact, he wasn't sure if he should send the number one envelope to her or to himself.

He stroked her hair slowly, pulling each curl between his fingers and letting it bounce back.

"River, could you stay?"

He heard her inhale sharply. "I know you can't forever, maybe, but just a week or two. I... I'm going somewhere, and I wouldn't mind the company until I have to go."

She looked up at him and kissed his chest. "I can't, dear. You know why."

He stopped himself from frowning. She had a point. She would never go back, and he'd never let her go.

"But," she said softly, "I'm sure Craig and Sophie wouldn't mind a visit before it happens."

  [Like I said, angst, angst, and more angst. Sorry for those of you who really wanted fluff. This just took off on it's own :(. The thing about his siblings, by the way, I'm sort of thinking they were in the same loom or something. Plus, I heard somewhere the Doctor had a human mother, so that'd make sense too. Alright, now, comment what you thought! Please. I love reviews, and I can always use suggestions/encouragement. Thanks for reading! :) ]