I don’t like that child. Walang galang. Matapobre. Saksakan ng arte. Suplada. Higit sa lahat maluho. Naaawa ako sa mga magulang niya dahil nagkaanak sila ng ganito. Kulang na lang mangagat. Kung kapatid ko ‘yon itinapon ko na siya.

“Kuya, you’re going?”

Binalingan ko si Ysa, ang bunsong babae naming kapatid. Nakasilip siya pinto ng kwarto ko. Huminto ako sa paglalagay ng damit sa maleta at pinatuloy siya
. Bukas ay tutulak ako papuntang Ilocos upang doon manirahan panandalian.

“Yeah...” I answered, kissed her forehead when she approached my bed. “Need something?”

She pouted. “When will you be back?”

I shrugged my shoulder. Tumabi ako sa kaniya. Ginulo ko ang buhok niya. Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin na ikinatawa ko lang. She‘s slowly growing up. Should I worry if one day she’ll bring her suitors here. After all, she is our baby. Our very own princess.

“Is she pretty, Kuya? I heard mommy and daddy you will be at Ate Solaire’s house, e...” she asked innocently.

I chuckled. Solaire Anja’s face flashbacked in my memory when I first saw her in her mansion.

“She looks like a tigress asking for a bowl of soup!” I teased.

Ysa giggles and imitates the claw of a tiger while showing her teeth. “Like this, Kuya?”

I laughed. Pinisil ko ang pisngi niya sa panggigigil dito. Nasa ganoon kaming posisyon nang bumukas ang pinto at iniluwa si Creon. May dala siyang bagong bake na cookies at juice.

“Who’s up for cookies?” ani Creon at nilapag sa kama ko ang tray. Napansin niya ang maleta ko. “Woah! Saan ka punta, kuya?”

“Malayo sa’yo... nakakasawa ang boses mo, Archie.” ngisi ko habang sinusubuan ng cookies si Ysa.

“Feed me, too, kuya.” Creon opened his mouth.

“What the fuck, Creon?” disgusted, I groaned.

Creon laughed. “Ako ang bunso bago si Ysa, kuya! Subuan mo na ako! Ah!”

“You’re disgusting, tss.” iling ko.

Kuya Eurus suddenly entered my room. Based on his worn out polo sleeves, he must be gone from the resort.

“Woah! Woah! Tabi, dadaan ang hari!” panloloko ni Creon dahilan upang siringan siya ni Kuya.

Dumiretso si Kuya sa kama ko. Paghiga nito ay pumikit siya. “Come here, Ysa. Give me a hug.” malambing ang boses na tinawag si Ysa.

Humiga si Ysa sa tabi niya at yumakap. Napatakan pa ng cookies na kinakain ni Ysa ang damit niya.

Kuya Eurus groaned.

Ysa chuckled. “Why are you tired, Kuya?”

“Ikaw ba naman may mga kapatid na pangit pag-uwi...” Nagmulat si Kuya at ngumiti kay Ysa. “Maliban sa’yo.”

“Ah, ugly ducklings!” Ysa teased me and Creon while pointing her fingers at us.

“Uy, hindi ako!” hagikhik ni Creon. “Gustong gusto nga ako ng mga fans dahil gwapo—”

“Tama ka na, Archie.” magkasabay na sinabi namin ni Kuya Eurus.

Creon squinted his eyes. Inambahan ko siya nang balingan ako ng tingin. This asshole really loves pulling a joke at us.

“Kukunin ko lang gitara... pukpok ko sa ulo niyo. Sandali.” tumango tango ito bago patakbo ng kumaripas palabas ng silid ko.

Nang bumalik si Creon ay may dala ng gitara. Hinigit niya ang upuan sa study table palapit sa amin. Ilang pitik sa kwerdas ng kaniyang gitara ang nilikha bago nagsimulang tumugtog.

“Kasalanan ba na umibig sa‘yo

Alam kong ikaw ang sinisigaw nito

Dinggin sana ang himig, upang malaman mo

Na ang puso ko ay

Para sa‘yo

Ang ngiti mo’y ‘di na masilayan

Labis ang luha ng iyong mga mata

Kung ang pag-ibig mo‘y sa akin ilaan

Madarama mo ang tunay na ligaya

Kung maging akin ka...”

Ysa clapped her hands sa pagkanta ni Creon. Ngumisi si Creon at nagpatuloy sa pagpapatugtog. Dumating si Tali at naki-jamming sa amin. Napuno ng katuwaan at kantahan ang silid ko dahil sa kanila.

“Good job, men. Puwede ka na mag-cover ng bibig.” tudyo ni Kuya Eurus.

I smirked.

Creon frowned.

The day has come when I needed to live in Ilocos for the time being since it would be a hassle if I will go home after every session with Miss Gomez’s daughter.

Come to think of it, I have no idea why I agreed on this setup. My mother asked me to be her friend’s tutor this vacation. I could have gone back to Manila if it weren’t for her request. That Solaire is impolite and a troublemaker.

Inaabangan ko ang paglabas ni Solaire mula sa mansyon mula sa sasakyan. Malamang, palabas na ang babaeng iyon upang pumunta sa pub ng kaibigan niya. She is a pain in the neck! She ditched her lesson with me just to drink! At that age?! That child is my death!

I have no time to babysit, but this woman needs to learn her lesson.

Mula sa side mirror, sinilip ko si Solaire na sumakay sa sasakyan ng kaibigan hindi kalayuan sa sasakyan ko. Pinauna ko iyon bago sumunod upang hindi makahalata.

Ang tigas ng bungo ng babaeng ‘to. Halata namang may gusto sa kaniya ang lalaking iyon, ah. Saan ba ‘to pinaglihi? Pambihirang pamemerwisyo. I scoffed, shaking my head.

In the musician's corner of Carlo’s pub, I saw the band of my brother, Creon Azlan Variejo. He is known by the stage name Archie of Electrolux.

I smirked at him when our eyes met. He smirked back. He knows I will be around here in Ilocos, that is why.

Umupo ako sa isang gilid habang pinapanood ang bawat galaw ni Solaire. Lumapit si Carlo sa kaniya at may ibinulong. Kulang na lang halikan niya.

Tss.

Solaire shook her head. “N-No, I have to go home. Tumakas lang ako remember?”

Buti alam mo.

Carlo chuckled. Sumenyas ito sa bartender. Nagpakitang gilas ito sa harap ni Solaire. Maya maya ay binigyan ni Carlo si Solaire ng blue kamikaze.

Tingnan mo nga naman ang kaibigan niya... kay sarap bigwasan. Itsurang iyon, paiinumin no’n? Wala ba ‘tong magawa sa buhay niya?!

“Shot!”

Shot-in mo mukha mong gago ka.

Tumayo ako matapos ayusin ang damit. Tarantadong Carlo. Wala pa sa tamang edad si Solaire, papainumin ng gano’n! Kung ako lang, kutusan ko ‘yon.

Only then I realized that I was in front of them. Solaire is already drunk, but this asshole wants her to have another shot. Before Solaire could even consume the last shot of blue kamikaze, I abruptly stole the glass from her and drank it aggressively. Fuck! Anong lasa ‘to?!

“S-Sir Geon?”

“Let’s go home.” mariin kong sinabi bago ito hinawakan sa baywang patayo. “Damn, hard headed.“

Dinala ko si Solaire sa sasakyan ko. Mas maganda naman sasakyan ko sa Carlo niya doon pa sumakay. Ako na rin ang nagkabit ng seatbelt sa kaniya dahil nanlalambot ito. Baka hindi ko siya matantiya...

Staring at her monolid olive eyes awe me. Those thick and curly eyelashes she have is like an invitation to move closer to her. Her nose is aquiline that fits in her small young face. Agaw pansin ang maliit na taling nito malapit sa mata. Hindi mapapansin sa malayo pero maganda sa malapitan. Her lips are small and thin. Anyone who will stare at her lips has no different as to humanity as an end in itself. For they are as delicate as flowers in the garden bloom... but have dangerous invitation. Kung lumapit pa ako sa kaniya, baka hindi na ako makagalaw pa.

Nag-iwas na ako ng tingin. Umayos ako ng upo sa driver’s seat. Bumalik ako sa pagmamaneho at dinala siya sa ramen restaurant ng kaibigan ko baka sakaling bumalik sa katinuan ang isang ito. Tss.

Inom nang inom sa murang edad, hindi naman kaya. Paano kung hindi ko siya sinundan? Paano kung may mga gago sa pub ng Carlo na iyon at tinangay siya? Sa itsura ni Solaire mukhang lapitin ng gulo... kasi maganda... kutis mayaman. Si Solaire ang tipo ng babae na mahirap ilabas ng bahay.

Kinailangan ko ikalma ang sarili. Baka hindi ko talaga matantiya ang babaeng ito sa inis. Puta. Ano bang ikinagagalit ko?

“Why did you drink?” kalmado ang tanong ko kay Solaire paglapag ng ramen sa tapat nito. “Where did you learn that?”

Stupid. Anyone can learn that if they want to. Natahimik ito saglit. Bahagya siyang natawa.

“Is it bad?” she asked coldly.

Sa edad mo, malamang oo! Gulo mo.

“Is it bad to find comfort... when your parents don’t care for your existence... at all?”

Goddamn it.

“Can you blame me if I wanted to have fun to forget my problem, Sir?” she asked painfully.

Seeing how tears streamed this girl’s cheeks down makes me abhor her family. It feels like she is always right when she speaks... and feels so wrong when she’s at a disadvantage. For some reason... I,too, wanted to wipe her tears out.

"S-She gave me a lot of money. She lets me buy anything I want. B-But that isn't what I need." Her voice was longing for something.

Something that cannot be replaced with money or material things... care... or perhaps... love. Her parents failed to take care of her... at this very young and inexperienced girl.

There was a part of me when I wanted to pull her closer to me. I told myself I should not act beyond what was agreed. I want her to know...I am here now. She can rely on me however she wants. Something in me wants her to feel comfortable with me. Be comfortable with me, then,  princess.

"I want her attention. I want us ... no Tito Arman. No busy schedule. Am I selfish for asking it? I deserved it naman, 'di ba?" Her voice is small and low, like a child confessing her sins after being scolded.

"It is not selfishness," iling ko. Tanginang luha ‘yan,  gusto ko punasan. Bakit ba na riyan iyan?

Nagpupunas ng luha si Solaire. Nang muling mag-angat ng tingin sa akin, ngumisi siya. Tila walang nangyari. Ibang klase. Lihim akong napangiti.

I chuckled. Only to find out she was staring at me for minutes. I have no idea why... but I like the way she stares. Do I look like an angel in your eyes, huh?

Her eyes glistened. “Ang guwapo mo pala, sir.”

Pinitik ko ang noo niya. Ngumuso ito at sinamaan na ako ng tingin. Mahina akong natawa.

“Loko,”

She pouted like a duck... but still cute. Tss.

There’s a different story when we had a problem. I could not stand when she’s upset, worried, or even... mad at me. When she’s ignoring me or giving me cold treatment, para akong mababaliw kakaisip anong ginawa ko para magka ganoon siya.

“Why are there tears, Laire?” I asked one time I caught her in the garden, pulling the grass off. She was teary-eyed. Her lips were wet and quivering when she looked up at me.

“D-Dumating ka pa...” she mumbled, tila nagtatampo. “Sana sinamahan mo na lang maghapon ang gorillang Lyrea na ‘yon!”

Gorilla—What?! I have an explanation why I did not teach her yesterday. Akala ba niya ay pinaunlakan ko ang paanyaya ni Lyrea kahapon sa shooting nito?

I grinned out of amusement. Ayos din ang babaeng ‘to. “We are not together—”

What the hell, men? Muntik ko na makain ang damong ihinagis niya sa akin dala ng matinding inis! Pambihira, Laire. Hindi ako kabayo!

I sighed.

“Oh? Bakit ka nagpapaliwanag?! Bakit nandito ka pa?! Go away!” taboy niya sa akin habang humihikbi.

The princess... is crying, huh? I chuckled all by myself. Lalong nagalit. Bago ‘to, ah. Ang laki ng galit niya sa akin pero bakit natutuwa ako?

“Ang labo mo!” she cried.

“What have I done? Hindi kami magkasama kahapon ng pinsan mo kung iyon ang ikinagagalit mo, Laire.” paliwanag ko. Ipinakita ko ang maliit na paperbag na dala ko. “We had a family dinner last night in Manila. And I... bought you something.”

Tinitigan niya iyon. Hindi pa rin naghihiwalay ang kilay niya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagkakaganito. Matapos niya akong itaboy noong nakaraang hapon...

“Suhol ba ‘yan?!” she exclaimed.

I whistled. What should I do? Lalo lang naiinis. Daig pa ang naglilihing buntis. My presence and gifts irritate her. Saan ako lulugar? Tapon ko ‘to.

Laire's hair blew out due to the strong wind. The anger in her eyes did not subside. Her fist is clenched and her lips are twitching. Hindi ko maiwasang titigan ang ganda ng mukha niya. Sa murang edad, kapansin pansin na iyon. Paano na lang kung magdalaga pa siya?

“Laire, this is for you...” suyo ko.

“N-Nagkita kayo ng g-girlfriend mo sa... dinner, tama?” There she goes again. Bakit ba ang hilig mo mang-away?

Saan naman nanggaling ang girlfriend? Gagawa ng pag-aawayan tapos iiyak.

I didn't answer her. My eyes remained admiring her beauty. She looks like a mountain goddess dressed in human clothes. I was like her loyal servant who was accused of wrongdoing that needed to be punished by her inescapable wrath.

“M-May girlfriend ka ba?!” she asked rudely.

Saan ba ako kukuha niyan?! Fuck this.

What should I do with you? Is it because ... I chuckled, thinking this girl has a crush on me, fuck. Marami rami rin ang umaamin sa akin pero kakaiba ang isang ‘to.

“I told you...” I halted when she pushed my chest without hearing me first.

I think... She's the worst?

“Magsama kayo.” aniya bago nanakbo papasok sa mansyon.

God... is that really your creation? Napailing ako habang natatawa. Now, what? She’s really something. Kainamang babae.

Naiwan ni Solaire ang cellphone niya sa garden. Umilaw iyon. Ganoon na lamang ang pagkunot ng noo ko nang lumitaw ang pangalan ni Carlo.

Carlo set his nickname to Boyfriend.

Tarantado. Nagdesisyon ng kaniya ang puta!

Lumabas ang chat heads. Nag-chat ang 'Boyfriend' kuno ni Solaire.

“Hi, Laire. Siesta date?” The chat read.

I have seen it. Pumunta ako sa settings at binlock si Carlo sa account ni Solaire. Baduy!

Nang sumunod na umaga, dumalaw ang boyfriend kuno ni Solaire sa mansyon. Nagdidilig ako ng halaman.

“Is Solaire there—fuck?”

Hindi natuloy ni Carlo ang sinasabi nang maitutok ko sa kaniya ang hose.

“‘Sensya na...kusang gumalaw ang kamay ko.” kaswal kong sinabi.

Umusok ang ilong ni Carlo hanggang sa nagmukha na siyang toro. Ang bulaklak na hawak niya ay basta niya na lang itinapon. Ngumisi ako.

“Tell her I came, tss.” aniya bago tumulak paalis.

I chuckled all by myself and picked the boquet up. Saktong lumabas ng bahay si Solaire na naka shorts lang at (ewan crop top yata ito) maikling damit. May suot rin siyang hairband na pink.

“Sir, may nagpunta ba rito?!” Hilig niya sumigaw.

Ibinato ko ang bulaklak sa tapat niya. “Galing punerarya...sa’yo na raw sabi ng 'boyfriend' mo.”

“Huh?!”

“Tss...”

“Wala naman akong boyfriend...” bulong bulong niya pero pakinig ko naman. “Sungit mo! Tatanda kang binata niyan, Sir!”

I glared at her. She rolled her eyes! Batang ‘to... teacher niya pa rin ako!

Walang kadalaan itong si Carlo. Nakabalik pa ng sumunod na araw. Kay sarap buntalin.

“I am here to pick Solaire, Sir...” he said politely.

I fixed my glasses. “Solaire is not yet home.”

It was a bluff. Solaire is sleeping in her room after our session. Ayoko lang mag-usap sila at magkita.

“Are you sure, Sir?”

“Do I look like lying?” Guwapo lang ako hindi ako sinungaling.

Carlo scoffed. “Pakisabi dumaan ako.”

Kahit lumipad ka pa, hindi ko sasabihin. Siraulo.

“Sure.” I nodded.

I chuckled all by myself when he had nothing to do but left.

Nang sumunod na araw, nagkayayaan ang magulang ni Solaire at si Arman. Naiwan ako.

“Sir, tulala ka riyan? May... nangyari po ba?” si yaya.

Kanina pa nakaalis sina Solaire kasama si Miss Czarina at Arman papunta sa bukid. Pero nanunuot sa utak ko ang iniwang salita ni Solaire. Sa arte niyang iyon, may crush siya? Ha! Sino naman ang malas na lalaking nagustuhan niya? Kung ako roon, aatras ako. Sama ng ugali ni Solaire, mukha lang maganda. Ako lang... ang parang... makakapagpatino roon.

“Solaire has a crush in her school?” I probed, facing the maid.

“Ay, iyon po ba? Sa arte ng alaga ko, mukhang malabo! Baka sinabi niya lang na may gusto siyang iba kasi... malay mo... ikaw pala ang type?” humagikhik si yaya.

Ngumisi ako. Ang taas ng pangarap niya. Ako! Not bad, not bad, princess. Nice taste! Ganiyan dapat!

“May gagawin pa po pala ako. Maiwan ko muna kayo rito.” paalam ko sa katulong bago nanakbo sa kwarto ko.

May isang buwan pa akong natitira para manatili sa bahay ni Solaire at pagkatapos noon ay aalis na ako. Kung ako lang, hindi ko na gugustuhin na umalis. Pero edukasyon ang pinag-uusapan dito.

Dinala ko si Solaire sa Thunderbird Resort. Matatandaan na may kinausap ako noon pero bumalik din agad sa sasakyan kung saan ko iniwan si Solaire.

Magkahalong kaba at takot ang sumibol sa dibdib ko nang nakita ang mukha ni Laire na namumutla. Iwas na iwas ng tingin sa akin at hindi ko alam kung bakit. Wala akong maalalang ginawa sa kaniya para mawalan ng kulay ang mukha niya.

I asked if she was fine. Naiinitan lang daw siya. Natapunan ng tingin ko ang dashboard ng sasakyan ko. Sa ilalim noon ay may maliit compartment. Nakapagtataka na nakasingit ang balat ng condom gayung sigurado ako na maayos iyong nakasarado. Lihim akong ngumisi nang matanto ang dahilan kung bakit bigla itong namutla. ‘Yan, nangingialam kasi.

Anak ng tipaklong ang babaeng ito. Sinama ko siya sa resort dahil hinahanap namin ang meeting nina Mr. Fernandez at Mr. Arevalo. Paglabas namin sa casino, type na niya ang kapatid ko! She’s unpredictable! Napakadami magkagusto akala mo naman marunong ng gawaing bahay! Lupit. Sa kapatid ko pa talaga.

Hindi sila bagay. Tss.

Natapos ang buwan. Nagtapos ako bilang Medical Doctor sa Ateneo. Kinailangan ko naman lumipad patungo sa Europa upang mag-aral ng apat na taon. Hindi ako pormal na nakapag paalam kay Solaire. Baka ang alam niya nasa Manila lang ako. Mas gusto ko na isipin niyang nasa Maynila ako at nag-aaral. May parte sa akin na ayaw na umalis dahil nito... pero kailangan ko. Sa maikling panahon na nakasama ko si Solaire, pakiramdam ko... hindi mabubuo ang araw kung hindi siya nakikita, naaamoy, o nakakausap.

Hindi ko alam ang nangyayari sa akin. I find her interesting in any way. This is wrong. Kuya na ako ng babaeng iyon! But damn!

Kaya nabuo ang desisyon ko na huwag na magparamdam dito. Na tumuloy na lang sa Europe na hindi niya nalalaman. Gusto ko isipin niya na wala lang siya sa akin kaya hindi ko na siya kinakausap.

Pero tangina... gabi gabi ko na hinahanap. Hindi ko makalimutan ang paraan niya ng pagtitig... lalo na ang kulay ng kaniyang mata. Ang ganda lalo ni Solaire kapag ngumingiti o tumatawa. Nawawala ang mata.

Staying in Europe is boring without Solaire. For the past years that I have been staying here, walang araw na hindi ko in-stalk si Solaire sa mga social media niya upang kahit papaano ay may nalalaman ako sa nangyayari sa buhay niya. Kung may boyfriend na ba siya o mga manliligaw.

But then she stopped posting pictures on her social media accounts when she turned sixteen years old. She set her profile in private, too. Hell knows how miserable I am.

Habang nagdadalaga ito, lalong gumaganda. Paano kung may boyfriend na siya? Matatanggap ba nila ang ugali ni Solaire? Titiisin nila ang kaartehan niya? Kaya ba nila manatiling tapat sa kaniya kung magkaproblema? Mas gusto ko ako gumawa lahat! Kayang kaya ko intindihin ang ugaling mayroon si Solaire. Hindi ko siya sasaktan ano’t ano pa man ang mangyari...

Hindi ko dapat maramdaman ito subalit hindi ko mapigilan isipin ito sa bawat araw na lumilipas. Gustong gusto ko na bumalik sa Pilipinas. Pero may kasunduan kami ng mga magulang ko na hindi ako makakabalik hangga’t hindi ako tapos sa kursong kinukuha ko.

She turned eighteen years old when I finally got my diploma. I was happy, yes. I was happier knowing I will see my princess again. She actually sent me a personal invitation on her birthday. But then, it was the same date when I needed to do some stuff related to my studies. I failed to attend on her special day.

God knows how bad I wanted to go. But time intervenes. I had to wait sometime. Please, princess, I will do anything for you. Huwag ka muna magpaligaw.

It was then that I realized that as time went on, I became more and more interested in her. My admiration for her deepens... no. I don't think this is something shallow. I have never felt this way before. No one has ever made me feel this way unlike how Solaire made me feel towards her.

I am falling in love with her without realizing it... I like to be with her. I wish to be her... man.

This is more serious now than before. It feels like... I'm just raising her, so someday… She will be right for me. Like a flower seed planted in a garden, it needs to bloom properly until it can be picked. That flower... I will surely be able to pick her before someone else does. I smiled involuntarily.

Even I do not know how the fuck I did like that rude expensive girl younger than me, huh? There, I found myself in front of a famous jewelry shop. Ang mahal mahalin ng isang Solaire Anja Gomez.

Nagpagawa ako ng bracelet na may initials ni Solaire na ibibigay ko bilang regalo pag-uwi ko ng Pilipinas. Nagpagawa rin ako ng dalawang singsing na may amber at red diamond na bato bago umalis sa Europa. Dalawa na agad para walang kawala. If things will work out soon, I will marry that brat. I don’t know why, but I can see her walking down the aisle soon. Therefore, I should always carry these rings.

Desidido na ako. Pakakasalan ko siya. Ang mahal ng investment ko sa kaniya. Hindi puwedeng hindi sa kasalan ang tuloy nito.

Nabuwag ang plano ko nang makabalik sa Pilipinas. Tumawag sa akin si Kuya na nasa resort si Solaire kaya pinuntahan ko para magkita kami.

Muli ko nasilayan ang babaeng hinangad ko makita nitong nakalipas na mga taon. She’s grown up. Her height fits in my shoulder now. Dati, hanggang dibdib ko lang siya. Humaba na ang buhok niya ngunit mukhang kagagaling lang sa gupit. Lalong pinatingkad ang kaniyang mapangahas na mata sa kutis niyang mala porselana.

Ang ganda ng prinsesa ko... napangiti ako.

But she hates me. She acts like I am a ghost... like she has amnesia. I can endure all kinds of pain. But not my princess’ hate and wrath towards me.

Mahaba habang suyuan ‘to. I sighed. Watching Solaire so near to me, but seemed so far. Daig ko pa ang may label kung mangulila sa kaniya. Kaya hanggang suite nito hindi ko tinantanan kahit gabi na.

I grabbed her by the elbow. Magkahalong takot at gulat ang nabaanag sa mukha ni Solaire nang makita ako.

“S-Sir...”

Fuck! Pumikit ako nang manuot sa pandinig ko ang mababa at malamyos niyang tinig. I find it sexy. Paano pa ako makakalaban kung boses mo pa lang pamatay na?

“We need to talk,” I coughed.

Tumaas ang kilay nito. Nangangapa ang kaniyang mata. Waring hindi naiintindihan ang inaasta ko sa harap niya gayung wala naman dapat akong ipaliwanag ngunit pakiramdam ko ay obligado na rin ako.

Ganda, puta.

“Tungkol saan—”

Hindi ko siya pinatapos sa pagsasalita. Nananabik ko siyang hinila palapit sa bisig ko. Feeling her skin against mine feels like home. This is what I am longing for. This is what I am thirst to do. Wala akong pakialam kung may makakita sa amin. Kung anong iisipin nila ay hindi na rin mahalaga.

I embraced her even tighter. Her sweet feminine scent permeated my sense of smell. She’s sweet and smells like she just out from the shower. It smells like an addiction... my addiction. No rehabilitation can fix this.

I felt a sharp object pinned in my heart when Solaire forced me to get away from her. Her eyes, when I looked at it, are burning in anger.

“Gago ka ba?” nangingilid ang luha sa mata nito. “Anong karapatan mong y-yakapin ako, huh? Who gave you the permission to t-touch me?!”

Don’t cry, Laire. Don’t be mad. I just missed you.

“You should have not come back! I-I was trying to forget you! Pati ‘tong lintek na nararamdaman ko sa’yo!” she sobbed.

Ganito ko ba siya nasaktan nang umalis nang walang paalam? Ano bang iniisip niya habang wala ako? Kung alam niya lang kung gaano kahirap para sa akin na pigilan ang nararamdaman para sa kaniya... kasi mali. Tangina. May nararamdaman siya sa akin. Kailan pa? Ang buong akala ko...

“You have feelings... for me?” I chuckled.

Nag-iwas ng tingin si Solaire. Hinuhuli ko ang mata niya pero naging mas mailap iyon. Namumula ang pisngi at dibdib niya, marahil nagulantang sa sariling sinabi.

“Kailan mo pa ako gusto, huh?” I teased. Namamangha ako sa ganda ng mukha niya. Kahit saang anggulo, ang ganda. Lalo akong nahuhulog sa’yo.

“M-Matutulog na ako...”

“Come on, baby...” I smirked. “Kailan mo pa naramdaman na gusto mo ako?”

Her lips protrudes. They are wet and looks soft. Alam na alam niya kung paano ako aakitin. Sa aking paningin, tila ang labi niya ang pinaka matamis na pagkain na hindi ko kailanman pagsasawaan.

“W-Wala akong gusto sa’yo!” she hissed then glared at me. Sumabog ang buhok niya dulot ng malakas na hangin. Sumingkit pa lalo ang singkit na niyang mata. “You are just delusional!”

Jesus. Here we go again. Sa halip na mainis, natatawa na ako rito. Tigresa kung umasta. Pabagsakin ko ‘to gamit labi ko.

Inilapit ko ang mukha sa kaniya. Bahagya akong bumaba upang magpantay ang mga mata namin. Napaliyad ito. Sinuportahan ko ang likod niya gamit ang braso ko.

“Look at me in the eyes...” I commanded.

She stared at me.

“Tell me you don’t like me...” my voice is low and provoking.

Her expression softened. It was as if I was a sharp object that was slowly piercing her. That I am unpleasant in the eyes.

I cursed myself when her tears pooled her eyes. She cannot maintain eye contact with me now.

I freed her from me. I have the obligation to ease her pain right now. Should I not let her tears remain unshed? This is my fault.

“I-I liked you... since I was your student. I just realized w-when you left...” she confessed, looking down at her feet. “I was mad at you for d-disappearing without t-telling me...”

“Laire...”

“At wala akong ibang maramdaman... sa’yo... maliban sa g-galit.” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Laire... please, don’t cry...” I tried to touch her face but she shoved my hand.

“Ikaw lang ang i-itinuturing kong kakampi ng mga panahon na ‘yon pero u-umalis ka rin...” she wiped her tears, bitterly smiling. “The person who I believed understand me... left. Without saying a word... tapos bumalik at hinaharap ako na parang walang nangyari.”

It’s not like that, Laire.

She hiccuped while trying her to suppressed her tears in front of me. “Galit ako sa’yo dahil umalis ka nang hindi man lang nagpaalam! Galit ako sa’yo dahil nawalan ka ng pakialam sa akin! Sana hindi mo na lang ako binigyan ng motibo para magustuhan ka kung iiwan mo!”

I pulled her closer to my chest. She cried hard. Tinanggap ko ang mga pananakit niya. Walang siyang lakas kahit hinahampas at nagpupumilit na kumawala sa bisig ko.

I’m so in love with you, Laire. Kung alam mo lang...

“Ang sama mo!” I could barely hear her. “U-Umalis ka na lang ulit! Ang sama mo! Umalis ka na lang tutal diyan naman kayo magaling!”

Damn, princess. What do you want me to do?

“Hindi na kita iiwan mag-isa, Laire,” I rested my face on her shoulder. “Please, trust me again...” I whispered.

“Let go o-of me...” her voiced rattled. “Hindi ko kayo kailangan.”

I heaved a deep sigh. She’s always like this. Pretending to be brave, but she cries when she’s tired. I knew her very well. I will let her push me over and over again, but once she looks back, she can still see me. I will not leave her ever again.

“G-Goodnight.” malamig niyang sinabi bago tumalikod at pumasok sa loob ng suite niya.

Matagal akong nakatayo sa labas ng suite niya. Gusto ko pasukin. Gusto ko magbati kami. Tutulog siyang masama ang loob? Kaya niya? Bakit kaya niya? Pero... Sa lagay niya na ‘yon, sa taas ng pride ni Solaire, mukhang malabo.

“Son, where are you?” My mother asked after I picked up the phone.

I laid my back on the mattress. Nagpalipas ako ng gabi sa resort. Gabi na rin naman kung babiyahe pa ako pabalik sa mansyon. Iniisip ko rin na rito pa si Solaire.

Baka hanapin niya ako kinabukasan. Baka lang naman. I saw her wearing the bracelet I gave her. That made me hope...

“Resort, mom. Why?” I answered sleepily.

Damn it. My Laire is mad. Should I just kidnap her to talk to me?

“Come here tomorrow. We need to talk.” ani mommy.

I scoffed. “Can we reschedule it? I need to tame someone...”

Mom groaned. “No excuses, son.”

Maaga akong bumiyahe pabalik sa mansyon. Nais ko na matapos ang pag-uusapan doon at bumalik agad dito sa resort dahil kay Solaire. Iyon nga lang, pinagtabuyan na ako kahapon. Gugustuhin pa ba niya aki makita?

Binisita ko ang suite ni Solaire ng hapon sa pagbabaka sakali na na roon pa siya. Subalit hindi ko na siya naabutan doon, tanging ang ing staff na naglilinis na. Anila ay nag-check out na. Hinanap ko si Miss Gomez at Mr. Fernandez pero bigo akong maabutan sila. May nakapag sabi na si Mr. Fernandez lang ang kasama ni Solaire umalis. Hindi rin nila napansin si Miss Gomez na umalis kasama ng mga ito.

“Looking for someone?” Sumulpot si Martina sa harap ko pagbalik ko sa executive suite.

“Have you seen my girlfriend?” I inquired coldly.

Martina chuckled. “Wow... kailan ka pa nanligaw kung makapag tanong ng girlfriend?”

Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ko na may gusto sa akin ang babaeng ito. Respeto lang kaya ko ibigay dito kaya pinakikisamahan ko kahit papaano. Kahit maghubad pa siya sa harap ko, hindi ko siya titingnan. Hinding hindi ko siya papatulan.

“Si Solaire.” I said, kinda proud.

“Solaire?” she probed unbelievably. “The last time I check we’re both single—”

“I shall go,” agap ko. She is my girlfriend in my head, my heart, and in my soul. Damn it!

“She dumped you!” Martina hissed.

Tss. Women.

“She did not fucking dump me.” mariin kong sinabi rito.

Pinalayo niya lang ako. Hindi niya naman sinabi na umalis na ako sa buhay niya. Kahit ilang beses niya ipamukha sa akin na hindi niya ako kailangan, hindi ako aalis. Hindi na ako aalis. I know her... she will not directly state she needs me, but she really needs me. If she said she doesn’t care, she really cares. If she said she hates me... I know she really didn’t. That she’s just mad...

Only I can understand her. Whatever she says... I will understand her. That’s what most women want... to be understood through their shortcomings.

“Geon!”

Nawala ang atensyon ko sa kausap nang tumunog ang aking phone. Pumasok ako sa executive suite. Pinagsaraduhan ko ng pinto si Martina. Baka hindi ko na siya matantiya.

“Mom?”

“Look after Czarina’s daughter for the time being, son,”

This was not my mother. But my father. Napaayos ako ng upo. “Dad...what happened?”

Ang dahilan ng pagpapatawag sa akin sa mansyon ay dahil sa ina ni Solaire. Allegedly, she is shot to kill. My parents are worried for her safety. They decided to hide her and away from Solaire. And I promised them I will keep that truth from her until the time comes.

He sighed. “Czarina is in a safe place for now...but we cannot guarantee her safety.”

This is going to be horrendous. I have known Mr. Gomez was murdered by an unidentified man, but disclosed his death by claiming it was a natural death...that he had a heart attack. Solaire lost his father when she was twelve years old and she has no idea that her father was intentionally killed.

Now...likewise history is repeating itself. She has no idea why her mother is hiding. That her mother is in danger for unknown reasons. We did not tell her. We, too, have no idea why she has to be killed. She did not tell us. All she wants is the safety of her only daughter, Solaire.

“What happened, dad?” I clenched my fist.

“We do not know either... iyon lang ang hiling ni Czarina.” he said.

Ayokong isipin ni Solaire na nagsisinungaling kami sa kaniya. Ngunit dala ng sitwasyon, mukhang ganoon na ang kinakalabasan. All for her safety. Even if she gets mad at me. Even if she loathes me.

“Yes, dad.” tugon ko.

“Mag-ingat ka.” aniya bago pinutol ang tawag.

Naputol na ang tawag subalit hindi pa rin napasok sa isip ko ang lahat. Pinaglaruan ko ang mga singsing sa palad ko. Kahit hindi niyo sabihin sa akin na bantay at protektahan si Solaire, gagawin ko. Mas mahal ko pa ang babaeng ‘yon kaysa sa buhay ko.

What should I do with her, huh? Kakataboy lang sa akin lalapit na naman ako? Tigas talaga ng puso niya. Pasalamat siya patay na patay ako sa kaniya! Hindi ko gagawin lahat ng ito kung hindi.

“What?!” I was flustered upon picking the call up from my friend who is in Vigan. “What do you mean? Is s-she alright?”

“Uh... come and see for yourself, man.” he chuckled.

Fuck. Ano namang ginawa mong kalokohan, Solaire?

Immediately looking for the car keys, I stormed out of my house after. I drove my way to Vigan in the middle of the night, under the heavy rain just to pick Solaire up from the ramen restaurant.

Kahit malakas ang ulan, nakilala ko ang babaeng nakaupo sa waiting shed malapit sa ramen restaurant. She’s holding her knees, soaked, and cold.  As much as I want to run and cage her in my arms, I should not act impulsively.

But... My baby princess looks like a soaked kitten. I cannot stand to see her this long. But the baggage beside her confused me. Theories override my head. Did she leave her house? She really has no time to lower her pride, huh? Heck. You really are something Solaire. Payakap nga.

I stormed out from my car bringing the umbrella. I set my expression as flint. I put my hand on my pocket, only to impress her. I shall not forgot she shooed me away. Binagalan ko ang paglalakad upang hindi mahalata na sabik akong lapitan siya. Kahit may kasamaan ugali niya, hindi magbabago ang pagmamahal ko sa babaeng ‘yan.

“Ihahatid na kita,” malamig kong sinabi.

I scanned her wholeness. Only to find myself staring... but admiring her presence before me. Sa akin ka na titira ngayon. Paano ba ‘yan? Lihim akong ngumisi.

“Ayokong umuwi... hindi na ako babalik doon.” sagot niya, tila natatakot.

Poor, little princess. Nangingiti ako pero tangina, kailangan ko panindigan na galit ako rito. Malamang, nahihiya si Solaire sa akin ngayon matapos niya akong itaboy. Sabihin niya lang na kailangan niya ako, magiging maayos na kami. Gano’n niya ako kadali makukuha.

“Why did you escape from there, huh?”

My baby did not answer me. She stared only on her soaked feet. Her hands are trembling. I could have an immediate heartbreak when she sneezed.

“Damn it,” I held the bridge of my nose.

Inuwi ko na si Solaire sa North Peninsula Mansion (akin naman siya) kaysa ihatid pabalik sa mansyon nila. Baka sumabog siya sa galit sa akin kung gawin ko iyon.

“I'll prepare the guest room, stay here,” sabi ko pagpasok sa bahay ko.

Madali akong umakyat sa ikalawang palapag upang kuhanan siya ng towel. Nanginginig na si Solaire kanina pa. Hindi naman sa sapat ang yakap ko riyan kung sakali. Lihim akong ngumisi.

Baliw na yata ako sa babaeng iyon.

"Maligo ka." Ibinato ko ang towel kay Solaire pagbaba ko.

She hugged it. Her eyes, when looking at me, are asking for something. I then pointed to the second floor.

I sighed as I approached her. I took her baggage with me.  Without a word, I gait back from the stairs. I smirked when she followed me.

Nasa bathroom na si Solaire. I was waiting for her when my phone rang. Lumabas ako sa veranda at doon sinagot ang tawag.

“Mom?”

“Is she with you, son?” she asked coldly.

“Yeah... I picked her up... she left her house.”

My mother sighed. I knew it when she was worried or simply missed me. “Come home when you need to, Geon.”

I chuckled. “I will, mom. I love you.”

She chuckled from the other line. I glanced back to the room when I heard the bathroom door open. Solaire got out of there wearing only a bathrobe. The call was cut. Something popped in my head while staring at her wholeness.

"Call you later, Martina," pagpapanggap ko.

Will she get jealous or? Fuck. Mukhang hindi naman tatalab sa kaniya ang selos. Pumasok ako sa kwarto at akmang aalis na nang magsalita siya. Mariin kong ipinikit ang mata.

Her voice is low and submissive. Tila nang-aakit. Papatayin niya ako sa pagpipigil, tangina.

"Can we ... talk?"

"Nah... tomorrow..."  I replied shortly before leaving the room.

Bumaba ako sa kusina. I looked for some canned beer, pampatulog. Knowing Solaire is with me now, I don’t think I can pretend mad at her. She is so beautiful...so delicate...and warm in my eyes. Sino makakatiis sa’yo? Hindi ako.

Tulog na kaya siya? Isip isip ko matapos ang ilang oras. Bandang alas dose ng gabi, umakyat ako sa silid ni Solaire. Hindi man lang ako tinamaan ng alkohol ng iniinom.

I was expecting Solaire she will locked the door, but this woman did not! Ganito ba siya sa bahay nila? Paano kung ibang lalaki ang kasama niya at inaakyat na pala siya sa silid kapag gabi, hindi pa alam?! Pambihira.

“Solaire—”

Tumahimik ako nang masilayan ang maamo nitong mukha na mahimbing ng natutulog. Nakaharap sa pinto at medyo nakabaluktot habang nakabalot sa comforter. Nilapitan ko siya matapos ibaba ang temperatura ng air-conditioner.

I sat beside the bed. My hands found their way to her soft and redolent black hair. Will you be okay with me? I hope you will, Laire. Ibibigay ko naman lahat ng gusto mo.

I lowered my lips near her forehead, planting a soft kiss in it. Hindi ko napigilan ang sariling gawin iyon. She is burning. Didn’t she realize she is sick?

I could have left the bedroom to get a warm towel only if Laire did not hold my arms to keep me by her side.

“D-Dito ka lang...” came in a groan.

Rain pours heavily outside. Thunder and lightning strike. They may be in uproar, but I am afraid Solaire when awake is more dangerous than them.

“What does my baby want?” I whispered against her ear.

“D-Dito ka lang... huwag ka umalis...” she said in her sleep.

Screw this. Why am I smiling? She’s fucking dreaming!

“Anything for my princess...” I said, kissed her hair.

Madaling araw nang makarinig ako ng malakas na sigaw sa taas. Dagli akong nanakbo pabalik sa silid ni Solaire. Subalit ang magulong kama lamang ang aking naabutan!

Damn. Where is she?

"Laire?" I called her worriedly. Fuck! Where did she go?!

Dumiretso ako sa bathroom at hinanap doon. Napamura lamang muli nang hindi ko ito nakita. Hinanap ko na rin sa veranda ngunit wala rin!

"Damn it,"

Kinapa ko ang cellphone at nagsimulang mag-dial. Nakarinig ako ng sigaw mula sa ilalim ng kama. Doon ay natagpuan ko si Solaire na parang kinawawang kuting. Balot sa comforter at nakayupyop.

"Laire—what the hell are you doing down there?"

She slowly removed the blanket in her face to eye me. My worries subsided. Good thing nothing happened to her.

"Go back to your bed." malamig kong inutos.

Umiling siya. "Thunder is still in rage ..."

I stared at her hopelessness. She’s still cute.

"I'll sleep here until it's calm—"

"Rain is heavy. Thunder will last long. Hindi ka makakatulog kung gano'n." sabi ko.

"Dito na lang ako tutulog—"

"Sleep in my room." agap ko at tumayo na mula sa pagkakasilip sa kaniya sa ilalim ng kama.

Lihim akong nangiti. Pasaway.

"Hindi na... dito na lang. Ayoko makaabala sa'yo."

"Naabala mo na ako sa isang sigaw lang. Mas maaabala ako kung titiisin kita."

Abalahin mo lang ako, Solaire.

"Tabi ba tayo?" maingat niyang tanong pagpasok sa kwarto ko.

Hindi ko pinansin. Ipinagpatuloy ko lang ang pag pagpag ng maayos sa kama. Kumuha ako ng unan at nilapitan ang leather couch. Humiga na ako roon, hindi na siya sinagot. Pumikit na ako. Kahit sa pagpikit, mukha niya ang nakikita ko. Adik na yata ako sa babaeng ito.

"S-Sir Geon?" mahinahon niyang pagtawag.

"Hmm?" You want a good night kiss, my baby?

Kung pansinin ko pa siya ay baka hindi na ako makapagpigil, mahalikan ko lang ‘yan.

"I ... can't sleep this way ..."

Mas lalo naman ako. Hirap mo tiisin.

"Malawak ang kama, malambot. Malinis at maayos. Bakit hindi ka makatulog?" sagot ko.

She heaved a deep sigh. "Forget it,"

"Tss." Sabihin mo gusto mo rin ako makatabi.

Sa huli, ako pa rin ang nagkusa na tumabi sa kaniya. Natigilan si Solaire. Yumakap sa akin ang pambabae niyang amoy, nakakaadik.

"Scoot over. You might fall." I said hoarsely.

She did what I tell her without restraint. When her body reached my arms, she was about to pull off, but I did not let her move an inch again. I smirked in her willful obedience.

"Don't move... matulog ka na." I said stoically.

Needless to say, I needed to keep Solaire safe from any unprecedented events. She is to be married to Arman Fernandez’ son, Gideon. He took advantage of Miss Czarina’s disappearance to manipulate her and let everything fall under his control, bringing Solaire down. I know how hard it is for Solaire to take everything in a one-size-fits all situation. She hardly smiles... her eyes barely smile. How bad it is in my heart to see her aggrieved. Maybe, I was summoned because I have the duty to protect my only weakness.

Mas lalo ko itong minamahal kapag nanghihina siya. Mahal ko ang lahat sa kaniya. Hindi ko siya kayang tiisin. Hindi ko gustong naghihirap siya. Hindi ko kayang...makita na nasasaktan o lumuluha siya. Ang problema niya ay problema ko rin. Ngunit ang problema ko ay problema ko lang.

“Saan ka pupunta?” tanong ni Abra nang isinuot ko ang itim na leather jacket. Kinuha ko na rin ang susi ng sasakyan.

Hindi ko siya sinagot. Dumiretso ako sa labas ng bahay. Sumunod sa akin sina Abra at France.

“Boss, baka ikapahamak mo ang palagiang pagpuslit sa mansyon para makita si Solaire—”

“She’s waiting for me. Babalik ako.” I replied nonchalantly.

“Malalagot kami nito sa tatay mo.” si France.

I smirked at them. Without further explanation, I drove my way out of the North Peninsula. I found myself smiling while staring at Solaire’s veranda from afar. Their mansion is polluted by Arman’s men. Alleviating them with my bare hands will not help. I should govern myself accordingly.

I visit every damn night I have my chance. Minsan, naabutan ko siyang gising pa pero madalas ay mahimbing na natutulog. Kung gising siya, nagkukwento siya sa akin. Naglalabas ng sama ng loob at kung anu-ano pa. Pinakikinggan ko siya habang nakatitig. Kita ko ang saya niya kapag dinadalaw ko siya ng palihim. Sumasaya na rin ako.

“I-I thought you’re not coming...” her voice broke.

Mahigpit ko itong niyakap, hinalik halikan ko ang buhok niya. Ikinubli niya ang sarili sa katawan ko na tila ayaw na niya kumalas. Mahina akong natawa.

“I missed my baby...” pigil ang luhang sambit ko. Tangina.

“Puwede bang... huwag ka na umalis?” I can hear her fear through her voice.

“If you want me to get killed, sure.” I joked to allay the ambiance.

She groaned. “Fine... just put me to sleep before you leave. I... don’t want to see you leaving.”

I chuckled. “As you wish,  princess. Get to sleep now.”

Inakala ko na natutulog na nga ito. Pero nakapikit lang siya. Nagtatanong pa ng kung anu-ano.

“Did you like many girls during highschool?”

“Hmm...” umakto akong nag-iisip.

“Mukhang marami.” matabang niyang komento.

“It’s actually the other way around, Laire,” sagot ko. “They often called me superman.”

“May endearment pa, ha. Sino ka naman diyan?” she said bitterly.

Mahina akong natawa sa pagsusungit niya. Isa sa nagustuhan ko ay ang pagsusungit niya. Kuhang kuha niya ang tipo ko sa babae.

“Marami rin akong manliligaw noon, Geon. Kung hindi mo naitatanong—”

“Nah... save it.” malamig kong sinabi, kinabig pa siya palapit sa akin bago niyakap. “Mamatay sila sa inggit. Akin ka na.”

Tanga nga siguro ako dahil nagagawa ko ang ganitong bagay para lang masilayan siya kahit saglit... kahit ikapahamak ko pa. Mababaliw ako kapag hindi ko nakita si Solaire kahit isang araw. Hindi ako mapakali. Hindi ako mananahimik sa isang gilid gayong alam ko na anumang oras ay ikakasal ito sa ibang lalaki.

Makakapatay ako. For a chance to be with her, I would gladly risk all I have.

The wrath I was holding for the longest time set off when I found out that one of Arman Fernandez’ son touched Solaire. I ain’t no saint to let what they did pass by. Right after I proposed to Solaire, I went to Arman Fernandez’s stronghold... bringing a Glock 17. The Glock 17 may be a better choice for those who prioritize accuracy and longer-range shooting. This time, I will do it in a close perimeter.

“Boss, huminahon ka.” It was Abra who tried to stop me from shooting Gideon Fernandez straight between his eyes.

Gideon laughed. “Sumugod ka dala ang dalawang bata mo, Variejo?”

I gritted my teeth. Isang salita mo pa, paglalamayan ka na. Putangina mo.

“A medical doctor saves life... not take them.” he mocked.

Tumalikod ito sa akin. Kinalikot niya ang binunot na baril. Nang muling humarap, ipinunto niya ang baril sa akin.

The corner of my lips rose. “Huli ka na sa balita. Pumapatay na ako ngayon, ulul.”

“Fuck you, Variejo.” gigil na sambit ni Gideon matapos ang ilang segundong paninimdim sa sinabi ko.

Sumenyas si Gideon sa kaniyang tauhan. Pinalibutan kami ng mga iyon habang may nakatutok na baril. Lugi nga kami dahil tatlo laban sa isang dosena. Hindi kami bubuhayin ng mga ito.

“Boss, yari tayo riyan. Kapag nalaman ito nina Sir Throne—”

“Find Solaire, France... Abra.” I shut them up. “Bring her to me unwounded... do everything in your power.”

“Boss?” magkasabay sina Abra at France, animo’y nabingi na.

“That’s an order.” I ended.

“Fuck, boss. Hindi puwede! Kami na rito, ikaw na—”

“Fucking do it! I do not have to repeat myself!” I growled at them. “Abandon this place now... and look for my girlfriend.” my voice lowered.

Tiningnan ko si Gideon na malaki ang ngisi matapos ang tawag. Sumenyas ito sa tauhan, dahilan upang ibaba nila ang armas at padaanin sina Abra at France.

They must be worried about me. I nodded at them to make them know I will be alright. France cursed before turning his back on me, so as Abra. I smirked.

“I’m afraid you are alone?” Gideon walked towards me. He stopped behind. “Lower your weapon... or they will all die in a snap of my finger.”

Mariin akong napapikit. Tangina.

“How impulsive of you to throw yourself in the lion’s den...”

I calmed myself down. As long as I have not lowered my weapon down, I cannot be defeated.

“Fucking lower it!” He said piquely.

From that moment, a strong blow hit me from the back causing my body to fall on the cold ground. I felt numb. Like my body was being paralyzed. The weapon I was holding toppled far from my hand. As I coughed, my mouth ejected blood. I cussed under my heavy breath.

“Sisiguraduhin kong hindi ko na makikita ang mukha mo, Variejo. At pagkatapos ng kasal... isusunod ko si Solaire... maging ang anak niyo ay idadamay ko.”

One of Gideon’s men approached me while holding the baseball bat. He must be the one who struck me. He smirked.

What the hell is he saying?!

“Boss, anong gusto mong gawin namin dito?” he asked Gideon like he is certain he can dispatch me easily.

Gideon lowered himself to me, leveling my eyes. “Lumpuhin niyo... patayin... kahit ano... I do not care. Make sure he will not show in my wedding.”

“You think you can get away with this?” I smirked. “I will surprise you...” I spew out the blood in his face.

Gideon laughed sardonically. “Well then? Mag-reunion kayo ng girlfriend at anak mo sa impyerno...”

He left.

Fighting alone in the dark place with the dark souls is not what worrying me. That is... Failing to get Solaire back is. Failing to fulfill my promise she will only marry me and not anyone else. It would be a lifetime distress in her end. I won’t like that for her.

“Narinig niyo ang sinabi ni boss!”

Kumilos ang mga tauhan. Dagli kong inabot ang baril na nahulog. Bawat tao na lumapit sa akin ay pinapaputukan ko sa paa. But my weapon was out of bullet. I had no choice but to fight them in close combat, notwithstanding my weak endurance.

We have a child, Laire? I was happy knowing that I am having a child with her. That I am going to be a father. How come I did not know about it? How come you did not tell me when we were together...

After I fought for my life, I, once again, cussed under my dense breathing after a heavy object afflicted my head. My vision gets hazy. I cannot hear properly. It was an arduous task to stay alive and hoping for survival at this state.

I have to get out of here, breathing. Solaire needs me. Our baby... he needs us.

Darkness is slowly taking out my consciousness. I can barely move. I can barely groan. I was ready to die by the seconds, until I heard a loud bang that killed a man who would try to strike me again. His body fell adjacent to me. Another body fell in a miserable direction after a gunfire. Until no one from Gideon’s men is standing alive.

“Geon, keep your damn eyes open—”

“S-Save them. Solaire... w-we have a c-child...” The only word I am able to utter after drowning in a deep emptiness of darkness.

Several days later, I woke up from a coma. I found my mother beside me, crying silently. I thought I had experienced it all yesterday. My body felt weak and incapable of doing anything. I felt drained. However, my mind may be in a hibernate state but it knows what and who to think.

”M-Mom...” I called hoarsely.

My mother looked at me in shock. When she recovered, she cried hysterically and called for the immediate doctors. My father came in followed by Kuya Eurus and Creon.

“I need to see her, m-mom... dad. Allow me to see Solaire.” I requested it after the doctor examined me.

“Stay still, Geon. Magpagaling ka muna.” It was Kuya.

I shook my head. Umupo ako at inisa isang tanggalin ang kung anu-anong nakakabit sa akin. “Kailangan niya ako... kailangan ako ng asawa ko!”

“Jesus! Are you out of your mind?!” Mom cried. “Look how miserable you are, God!”

I clenched my fist in grave anger. Wala sina France at Abra rito kaya hindi ko matanong kung anong nangyari sa mag-ina ko.

“Where is she, then?” I asked coldly.

Nobody answered. I chuckled bitterly. What the hell is going on?!

“Son, listen to your mother. We will visit her once you are good. Don’t make things hard for us, please...” dad almost begged.

“Fuck!” I was agitated. “Where is she? Is she okay? Tell me she’s okay and I will not be damned!”

Nagkatinginan sina mom at dad. Maging sina Kuya Eurus at Creon ay hindi makatingin sa akin. Bakit ayaw niyo sumagot?!

“What happened to them, huh? Fucking tell me they’re okay, please!” halos mawala ako sa katinuan.

“Geon... they... Solaire is...” mom trailed off.

I felt something crazy subsided in my eyes. Ayoko lang isipin na may nangyaring masama sa mag-ina ko habang wala akong malay. Lubos ko itong pagsisisihan na wala akong...ginawa.

“What happened to t-them?” I asked once more.

Dalawang araw pa ako nanatili sa hospital bago payagan lumabas. Nang araw din na iyon, nagpahatid ako sa hospital na pinagdalhan kay Solaire. Natagpuan ko ito sa malamig na silid, puno ng galos, maraming nakakabit sa katawan, at walang malay.

Natagpuan ko si Abra na nagbabantay dito. Napatayo nang makita ako, animo’y is akong kaluluwa sa harap kung makatingin.

“B-Boss? Ikaw na ba ‘yan?” Hinawak hawakan niya ako bilang pangungumpirma. “Boss... gising ka nga!”

Naantala ang tangkang pagyakap sa akin ni Abra nang lampasan ko siya. Dumiretso ako sa gilid ng kama ni Solaire. Hinawakan ko ang kamay nito at dinala sa labi ko.

“Boss...”

“What happened to her?” Buo ang loob kong maghiganti sa nanakit sa kaniya.

“Hindi namin alam ang tunay na naganap. Sa paghahanap, natagpuan namin ang nabanggang sasakyan. Maaaring iyon ang ginamit ni Miss Solaire habang tumatakas. Noong araw din mismo ng kasal niya kay Gideon, natagpuan namin si Miss Solaire sa foothills... walang malay at... duguan.” kumpisal ni Abra.

Sa foothills?

Bahagya ko siyang nilingon. “How did she fall?”

“Iyon ang pinaiimbestigahan namin, boss. Hindi pa tukoy kung itinulak o nahulog si Miss Solaire.”

Sinuri ko ang mga galos sa katawan ni Solaire. May namataan akong tama ng bala sa banda ng kaniyang tiyan. Nabuo ang konklusyon sa isip ko... subalit hindi ko matanggap. Hindi maari iyon.

“She’s pregnant with our child...” pigil ang galit kong usal.

“B-Boss?”

“Call the damn doctor. Now.” mariin kong utos.

Pagbalik ni Abra ay may kasunod na itong dalawang doktora. Agad nawalan ng kulay ang mukha nila nang harapin ako. Nagpapalot palit ang tingin nila sa akin at sa kay Solaire.

“What happened to my child?” I asked directly.

Inayos ng doktora ang kaniyang salamin. Kita ko ang nginig doon. Lalong manginginig ang mga ito kung hindi nila ako sasagutin.

“Tell me the baby is fine,”

Nagkatinginan ang dalawang doktora. Ang isa ay nagbaba ng tingin. Ang isa naman ay buong tapang na sinagot ang katanungan ko.

“The  womb has strong and muscular walls along with the amniotic fluid that does a good job cushioning the baby. However, when a bullet penetrates her womb... there was a bruish that lead to internal bleeding distressing her first trimester pregnancy... and that is hard to keep the baby safe... leading to miscarriage.”

Nasapo ko ang ulo nang iyon ay kumirot. Tangina. Kung mahirap itong tanggapin para sa akin, paano kung malaman ni Solaire? Pakiramdam ko’y gumuho ang mundo ko sa katotohanang ito. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Variejo...” ani doktora bago nilisan ang silid.

God, why? Should I have no right to be with the woman I love the most? Should I have no right to bring a child in your world? Make me understand all of these. She is for me. Is it hard to give her to me without restrictions?

Only He could understand my implore. This is exhausting. I have been a good son, a good person for all I know! I did not ask for my own good. I have never been spoiled. Now, this is all I ask. Why is it damn hard to give? Make me understand!

“W-Who are you?” It was the first words that came out in Solaire when she woke up after being held unconscious. “Where am I?”

Niyakap ko ito nang mahigpit subalit itinulak niya ako palayo. Kung tumingin siya sa akin ay parang hindi niya ako kailanman nakilala. Hindi sumiksik sa isip ko ang nangyayari. Masakit sa akin hindi niya ako natatandaan.

“Who are you?” her voice was harsh and low.

“I am your fiance, Laire...” Halos magmakaawa ako na alalahanin niya.

Kumunot ang noo niya. “You’re my what?”

I nodded. “You are engaged to me, Laire—”

“A-Are you sure you did not enter the wrong room?” she chuckled. “I mean, look, I-I have never seen you before... and I...” she halted when tears trickled down her cheeks.

“You should get some rest...” I said weakly.

“How... did I become your fiancee?”

Hindi ako sumagot.

Kinailangan ko lumabas ng silid. Naupo ako sa upuan at sinubukan pakalmahin ang sarili. I run my fingers on my hair out of frustration. Fuck! Until when will You decide to fucking give us peace! This is fucking too much! Fucking too much to bear! Damn it!

“You should rest, anak.” ani mommy nang maupo sa tabi ko.

I heaved a deep sigh. “I want to rest with her...”

“Then bring her to our mansion.” she insinuated.

When we were kids, she used to say bring something or someone in our mansion. Kung pagod na kami o may kinakaharap na problema. Para sa kanila bilang magulang, nasa tahanan pa rin ang tunay na pagtahan.

I shook my head.

I want to start a new life with Solaire. A simple life with her is more than an extravagant life others have. Kahit hindi niya ako maalala. Kahit hindi niya maalala na mahal niya ako, mananatili ako. Kailangan ko siya. Kailangan namin ang isa’t-isa.

“Kung kailangan mo ng tulong, anak, nandito kami ng daddy. This is not a mere win or lose game. This is more than that...I hope you will always find your way back home... to us.” My mother reminded me.

Hindi ko kailanman hinangad na bigyan ng problema ang magulang ko. Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay lalapit ako sa kanila upang humingi ng tulong gayong kaya ko tumayo sa sarili kong paa. Hangga’t maaari... hangga’t kaya ko... kaya namin... ireresolba namin ito ng hindi sila nadadawit.

“Dito tayo titira?” inosenteng tanong ni Laire nang magpasiya akong dalhin siya sa barrio, malayo sa lahat.

Sa kabila ng agam agam niya sa akin, nagtiwalanpa rin siya. Sumama pa rin siya sa akin dito. Masaya na ako roon.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya upang hawiin ang buhok niyang tinangay ng hangin. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at medyo umatras. Bumuntonghininga ako. Umuna na ako papasok sa bahay.

“Geon!” tawag ni Solaire mula sa labas.

Nilingon ko siya.

“Yeah?”

She smiled while scratching the bandage near her temple. “A-Ako na ang magsasalansan ng ibang gamit... kung ayos lang?”

That was the first time I saw her smile again. From that day on, I have always hoped I can bring back her beautiful smile... and not her painful memories.

Waking up in the morning next to her etched a strong affection in my heart. Regardless of what may come after, I am more than grateful that she is with me now, safe and sound. I do not think nor hope the past memories will resurface one day. Only I want her today... tomorrow... the next few years... creating new memories with me.

“Let me,”

Nilapitan ko si Solaire na nasa harap ng salamin. Kinuha ko ang flower hairclip na binili ko para sa kaniya noong nakaraang araw. Inilagay ko iyon sa bagong gupit niyang buhok na umaabot hanggang sa balikat.

“There...” I smiled at her.

She pouted, examining her looks through the mirror. “It’s cute... but...”

“Ang ganda mo.” I whispered against her ear.

Her eyes opened slightly wide. Her cheeks turned peach red. I chuckled, biting my lips. My... she looks damn adorable since then.

Hindi ko alam kung nahihibang ba o nahuhulog na naman ako sa kaniya. Napaka sarap sa pakiramdam.

“Geon... can I buy a new set of fabric?” One day, she asked me. Her hair is messy, sweat is forming in her forehead, and her clothes were covered with cut threads. “I ran out of pink...”

Iniwan ko ang nilalagaring kahoy upang lapitan ito. Kinuha niya ang bimpo na nakasampay sa upuan at marahan akong pinunasan. Miski ako ay hindi inaasahan na gagawin niya iyon. Tinitigan ko siya.

“Pawis ka na...” she said in a low voice.

Lihim akong napangiti. Noon ko muli siyang natitigan. Tunay na nararamdaman ko ang pahinga kapag napapadako ang aking mata sa mala luntian niyang mata.

“P-Para saan ba iyang tinatapos mo?” Nag-iiwas na siya ng tingin.

“Ah...yeah. For you. Para madali ang manahi.” sambit ko.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nagpupunas sa mukha ko. Inilagay ko iyon sa dibdib ko. Nagkatitigan kami ng nagsusumamo niyang mata.

“Laire...” came in a low drawl.

“H-Hmm?” she responded.

She gasped after I pulled her closer to my chest. I buried my face near her shoulder, breathing heavily. I thought she would push me just like the other day when I did this, but she embraced me back.

“May problema ka ba, Geon? Wala ka na bang...trabaho? O wala na tayong—”

“Nah, baby,” I coughed to hold back my emotions. I kissed her hair.

“Then... why do you look down?” she asked worriedly.

Mahal lang kita, Laire. Hindi ako magsasawang iparamdam sa’yo iyan. Mawala man ang yaman ko, hangga’t kasama kita...magyayabang ako.

Only I can be proud because she is mine.

The day Solaire will remember her past has come. The day which I feared of. That she might leave once she retrieved all of her memories... and she did. Leaving only a piece of paper given to me by her best friend, Danica.

“I was late to give that letter, Geon. Pasensya na...she requested it. G-Gustuhin ko man na ipaalam agad upang pigilan mo siya sa pag-alis kaya lang...”

I smiled at Danica. “It’s fine... Thank you for this.”

“I hope you get back to each other soon, Geon. But for now... after all you both have been through, it is better to heal individually.” aniya. “I am rooting for your happy ending, Geon.”

Tumango ako. Nilisan na ni Danica ang opisina ko matapos ng usapan namin.

I gathered all my strength only to open and read what was written in the letter Solaire gave.

Geon,

Hey. I know this kind of handwritten letter is obsolete, but by the time you should read this, I may not be standing on the same ground as you.

First off, let me apologize for everything damn thing I have caused you and your family. I have no amor propio if I will stay with you after knowing all the truths.

Remember the first time I met you? I think I fell in love too fast. What name suits you better? All romantic names suit you, babe! Whenever you scold, smile, or smirk, everything you do stays in my mind. I just cannot accept the fact I have liked you because you were not my type! But then... You have my attention, and I am willing to be your slave. I was willing to follow your command even if it hurts my pride.

Being with you still seems like a fairy tale even when we were in the small town barrio. I asked myself if I will be happy ever after? And I always bet there will be. Since you came into my life, my world has been filled with happy moments. The life I wish for is what you give to me. No. You give me more than what I wished for, babe. All the dreams I have, you bring them to reality. All through my whole life, I have prayed to be with you forever...

But the time is against us, right? Life offers many choices to make, but loving you is the only thing I wish to do. For now, I will love  you from afar, like how hopeless people admire the moon. You are the best thing ever happened to me. If our child were alive, I know he would be proud of me for choosing you as his father.

Geon, babe, my love... I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate having you in my life. For helping me through the bad times and being there to help me celebrate the good times, I cherish all the moments we share. My life would not be so beautiful and meaningful if you were not around, my only treasure. As the candle fills the darkness with tender light, you enlighten my life with hope and love. As the seed blooms with delicate flowers, you bring so much excitement and joy in my life.

If someday, I decided not to come back... please marry another woman. If the time suggests us to meet once more, I hope we are both happy with our chosen partners for a lifetime. I hope... we are healed from our past trauma we did not tell about.

Until then, Geon. Please, do not look for me. Let Him decide for what is the best for the both of us. Be happy even without me, okay?

Goodbye.

Your sun and air, Solaire Anja.

Simula nang umalis si Solaire, nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat. Inuubos ko ang oras sa trabaho sa kumpanya. Nabalitaan ko na humihinga pa ang mga Fernandez. Sumiklab ang galit sa dibdib ko dulot ng pagkasira namin ni Solaire. Nabuo sa plano ko na unti unti pabagsakin ang organisasyon ng mga ito hanggang sa lumuhod sila at magmakaawa.

“Son... this is not an easy task.” pigil ni dad sa kalagitnaan namin ng pagpupulong.

“I will bring them down, no excuses.” malamig kong sinabi.

“Nadadala ka lang ng galit, Dungeon!” Napatayo si dad sa upuan.

My hands lay flat on the table, making everyone gasp in the meeting. I gritted my teeth. “I have lost my wife and my child...”

“Anak...” mom cried.

“Losing their organization is nothing... compared to the ones I have lost, mom... dad.” my voice almost broke. “They do not deserve a life like that.”

“Son—”

“Ama ka rin... magulang.” agap ko kay dad. “Alam kong naiintindihan mo ako.”

Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang lahat bago nilisan ang silid. Umuwi ako sa Ilocos. Wala akong naging koneksyon sa lahat simula noon. Lahat ng oras ko ay itinuon ko sa pagbuo ng formula at estratehiya upang pabagsakin ang organisasyon ng mga Fernandez.

Sa bawat planong ginagawa ko, sinusubaybayan ko ang resulta. Nais ko masaksihan ang pagkukumahog nina Arman  Fernandez at Gideon Fernandez na muling makaahon sa bawat paglagapak nila.

“We have no idea what is going on! Walang katotohanan ang bintang na kami ay nanunulsol ng mga politiko! Ilayo niyo ang camera, anak ng—”

“How about the scandal of Mr. Gideon Fernandez? Is it true he abandoned his child?”

Nagkagulo lalo ang media sa tanong ng reporter. Ang pagtangkang pag-iwas ni Arman Fernandez sa mga ito ay hindi nangyari.

I lowered my cap and hid myself behind a face mask. Itinaas ko ang bintana ng sasakyan bago tumulak paalis sa gusali.

“Regional Trial Court has issued a subpoena to the Trieescapes Development Corporation holder, Arman Fernandez, for allegedly multiple escapes to his civil obligations...” The news flashed the next day.

I smirked. I told you... I will surprise you.

Hindi pa man nakaka-recover sa kinakaharap na kaso si Arman Fernandez, inatake ko naman ang anak nito ng sumunod na buwan kalagitnaan niya ng press conference.

“May katotohanan po ba na marami kang tinakasan na investors, Mr. Gideon Fernandez?” tanong ng isang reporter.

Hindi niya iyon inaasahan kung kaya’t dinumog siya media. Nagkagulo ang bouncers nito sa conference room upang protektahan siya sa mga agresibo ng reporters.

“What the hell are you saying?! Bullshit!”

Namulsa ako. Ibinaba ko ang cap at nilisan ang silid.

Panibagong balita ang lumabas kinabukasan.

“Gideon Fernandez, the son of the most notorious corporate world fraud, hid in a high-rise apartment in San Fernando, La Union afraid of returning to face Philippine authorities...”

I whistled.

“When will you be back, son?” My mother asked after I picked up the call.

Pinangalahatian ko ang whiskey sa baso. Tinutukan ko ang ginagawa ni France sa laptop. He’s interloping the databases of Trieescapes Development Corporation. He’s been helping me since then while Abra and Tiano are gathering other information on the said corporation.

“Uh... I am a little bit busy. Should I call you after I am done with my business.”

“Your father is sick and worried.” ani mommy.

Hinilot ko ang sentido.

“We do not know what to do anymore to make you come back.”

“Mom, trust me... I will come home soon. Just not now.” I sighed. “Call you back, I love you.”

Binalikan ko si France. Nakita ko ang pagloloading ng system na pinasok niya matapos ang ilang oras na pagsubok.

“Boss... system override.” ngisi niya sa akin.

I smirked. I dialed Abra’s digit and instructed him what to get next.

Leaning on my car, we watched the National Intelligence Coordinating Agency penetrate the Trieescapes organization the next month.

Kung magaling sila magligpit ng kalat, magaling ako maghanap ng dumi.

Upon investigation, the findings obeisant to Trieescapes Development Corporation revealed six types of organized crime activities as either materially affecting the private sector industries or using the industries to facilitate their crimes. The six prominent forms of organized crime identified are money-laundering, asset misappropriation, counterfeiting and contraband, fraud and extortion, human trafficking and cybercrime.

“You did this?!” sabog ni Gideon nang magtama ang mata namin.

Hawak siya ng opisyal. Pumipiglas ito subalit naubos na yata ang lakas niya.

I smirked. “Chill... this is just an appetizer.”

“Fuck you, Variejo!”

“Cool, yeah? Let the game begin, Fernandez...” I gritted my teeth. “I’ll show you how Variejo makes countermeasures.” I warned him.

Pay the price, dumbass.

A year after, Trieescapes Development Corporation formerly vanished in the corporate world. They dissolved on my bare hands, diminishing one of the longest conglomerates in the Philippines.

Conferring one of the most dangerous business strategists in Asia does not revoke any of my animosities in life. I am not yet successful. I am still waiting for my Solaire to come back one day...

Babalik ka pa ba?

Kung hindi ko lang nirerespeto ang request ni Solaire, matagal ko na siyang hinanap. Ayoko maging makasarili. Ang tanging magagawa ko lang ay maghintay ng pagkakataon na magtagpo muli ang landas namin... kahit walang kasiguraduhan.

Mahal na mahal ko, e.

Another year has passed. Nothing changes. Only I woke up to uphold my position in VRB Company. After a long tiring day, I went back home to the North Peninsula.

“Boss!” Kakapikit ko lang nang tumawag ang humahangos na si Abra.

“What?” I answered without opening my eyes.

Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagod.

“May sagot na ang advertisement department sa problema niyo!” anunsyo niya.

“What?”

Binagsak ni Abra sa mesa ang makapal na magazine at folder. Sinamaan ko ito ng tingin. Maloko siyang ngumiti.

“Ang loko mong pinsan nag-outsource ng mga ideal models sa Paris, Russia, at United States. Bale mga nasa singkwentang modelo iyon. Kailangan niya raw ng immediate response mula sa’yo para makapag lay down ng business correspondence sa mapipili!" balita niya.

Baklang bakla, tss.

“Leave it there. I will scanned tomorrow—”

“‘Ku, naman! Kung ako sa’yo, boss, sisilipin ko na ngayon!”

Pinalayas ko siya. Umalis ako mula sa pagkakahilig sa couch. Binalikan ko ang dinala ni Abra matapos ko maligo. Ano bang nilalaman nito’t galak ang gagong iyon?

Inisa isa ko ang modelo sa magazine. Lahat ay may potential na makuha bilang endorser subalit nabuburyo akong tapusin hanggang sa huling pahina. Pagbuklat ko sa gitnang pahina,  nakuha ng isang Parisian model ang atensyon ko.

She is sitting in a royal chair wearing a red sexy dress, exposing her cleavage and long flawless legs. Her hair is in a slicked back style, looking more mature at her age. She was holding a red apple which has a small bite while looking at the camera, exuding familiar potent, harsh, and commanding olive eyes.

She is an Italian-Portuguese. A rising Asian model belongs to top houses in the modeling industry. The model who is most sought after among other models. A record-breaking rookie model who garnered millions of impressions... happened to be...

“Solaire Anja Gomez...” I scoffed in amusement. Oh, damn. How can I forget those olive eyes!

I immediately dialed Zion’s digit to set an appointment first thing in the morning regarding this matter. After multiple rings, he finally fucking picked the damn phone!

“Yow? Napatawag ka?” he chuckled.

“You knew this?!” I was agitated.

“Uh... what again?”

“Fuck you.”

“See you in the morning, Mr. Vice President.” he then hung up.

Kupal talaga. Tss!

Naabutan ko ang mga magulang ko sa panel meeting kinabukasan. Nahuli ako ng dating dala ng traffic, galing pa akong Ilocos.

“Just in time,” ngisi ni Zion.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Binati ko ang mga magulang ko bago maupo. Noon pa lang nagsimula ang pulong. Kataka takang iniintindi ko ngayon ang pinag-uusapan.

“The offer ranges from 200 million up to 500 million per appearance plus tax...” si mommy sabay sulyap sa akin. “All for Ava Seraphina Lavoiser—”

“I’ll go for an Italian-Portuguese.” agap ko, nakuha ko ang atensyon ng lahat.

“Sorry?” si Israel, natatawa na.

Isinadlak ko ang likod sa upuan. Pinaikot ko ang ballpen sa daliri, kunwari ay abala sa pagbubuklat sa folder.

“700 million up to 1 billion all for an Italian-Portuguese... tax free.” ulit ko.

“And why... is that?” Mom chuckled.

“It will come back to us thrice than their price...” I glanced at them. “The higher the bid, the better.”

Israel and Zion smirked.

“Coming from one of the most dangerous business strategists in Asia!” Zion agreed.

“Ang mahal mahalin ni Solaire, huh? Costly, but yeah, she’s worth it, men." Israel teased.

“I could not agree anymore...” dad commented.

Tss. I smiled secretly.

Umuwi kami ni Solaire sa mansyon pagkatapos bumisita sa ipinapatayong bahay. Nasa kama namin ito at nagbabasa ng libro. Pagtabi ko sa kaniya, tinigil niya ang pagbabasa. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo habang inaamoy ako.

“Babe, it’s not your smell...” she pouted her lips.

I frowned. I just came out from the shower!

“What are you saying?” I chuckled and kissed her neck.

“It’s... different! May pinopormahan ka ba sa opisina, ha? Masyado kang mabango ngayon!”

“What the hell, Laire? Are you doubting my fidelity?”

She glared at me, like a tigress ready to attack me. Here she goes again, Jesus.

Hindi niya ako pinansin. Padabog itong humiga at ibinaon ang sarili sa comforter. What the hell did I do, men?

“What’s wrong, Laire? Talk to me... ayos naman tayo kanina.” untag ko, sinubukan tanggalin ang comforter na nakabalot sa kaniya.

“Don’t you dare touch me! Babaero!” And now, she’s crying!

Ihinilamos ko ang kamay sa mukha. Nitong mga nakaraang araw ay napapansin ko ang paglala ng mood swings niya. Minsan naman ay maganda ang gising. Hindi ko na siya maintindihan. Kung hindi ko siya mahal, baka tinapon ko na ‘to.

“Wala akong babae, Solaire.” suyo ko rito.

“Liar! Hindi ka naman magbabago ng pabango kung wala kang pinopormahan sa trabaho!” she ranted.

Jesus. What have I done this time?

“Naligo lang ako...” pigil ang tawa ko.

“A-Aalis ka kung hindi ko pa napuna, ‘di ba?! Babaero!”

Goddammit. I heaved a deep sigh.

Umalis ako sa kama upang magbihis. Pagbalik ko, masamang masama na ang tingin sa akin ni Solaire.

“Sino roon ang babae mo, ha?” akusa niya paglapit ko. “Sino roon ang malakas ang loob?”

Mahal ko ‘yan kahit ganiyan siya.

“Can you hurt yourself? Since I have no girl other than you...” I challenged her.

Hindi siya sumagot. Nag-iwas ito ng tingin. Ngunit kita ko ang bahagya niyang pagkalma.

I cradled her face, kissed her forehead down to her eyes, nose, cheeks, and lips. I just love kissing every part of my girl.

“Masyado akong patay na patay sa’yo para maghanap pa ng iba...” namamaos kong sinabi. “Ikaw lang... mahal ko.”

Pinalis ko ang umalpas na luha sa mata niya. Lumambot ang kaniyang ekspresyon, saglit niya lang ako tiningna at muli ay hindi na siya makatingin ng diretso.

I caged her in my arms. Even if you are the worst kind of woman in the world, baby, I will keep you.

“I’m all yours, Laire...” I said breathily.

Her arms wrapped around my waist. Silently, she cried near my chest. I understand her even if she does not speak about it. Her actions are enough. Her reactions are valid. Every single detail about her is valid.

I stared at the woman who is now having an interview. I can see her genuine smiles in front of them while telling some of our stories.

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. However, we learn little from victory, much from defeat.

I smirked when she intertwined our hands and leaned a little on my shoulder.

“I love you.” I whispered against her ears after kissing her bare shoulder.

Looking at my billion worth wife... I realized she is like a flower that gives fragrance even to the hand that crushes it. I must say... I am proud of her even when she’s weak. I am prouder when she’s strong.

“I love you, too.” she smirked.

Solaire Anja, my princess, is both my power and wealth. I am incompetent without her. I am incomplete without her in my arms. Even if it costs me my peace... even if I lost everything in the end... I will protect her at all costs. I will stay with her even in the brink of death.

Kulang ang salitang mahal kita para maiparamdam sa’yo ang totoong pagmamahal. Ibibigay ko lahat... kahit maubos ako... maging masaya ka lang sa piling ko.

Her end will be my end. Her fall is my greatest fall. Her tears will forever be my weakness. At last... I finally picked my beautiful flower.