Reshu

Yash held me to his chest warmly in the darkness, all which could be heard were waves crashing on to the shore. I kissed him, I kissed my best friend. I broke the friend code. As realization dawned , I hid my face more into his hard chest; ''Look up'' he whispered but I refused shaking my head. I don't know what he must be thinking of me right now. Oh God!! I feel pathetic. I felt warm fingers on my chin as he lifted my face to meet his eyes. My breathing quickened , so did my heart. Yash was the first man I kissed or I wanted to kiss again desperately; ''Talk Resh''

''I...I..'' was all I could say, he smiled affectionately pressing his lips on my cheek firmly; ''It's ok sweet heart. Let's go back. I still owe you the dance'' Wrapping his arm firmly around my waist , he walked me back to the restaurant. I couldn't help but notice how easily his hand slipped from my shoulders to my waist within few hours. Its not that I mind, but what surprises and scares me is my feelings, I know I want more and I am scared that I might lose it all.

Taking me to the dance floor, Yash lifted my hands wrapping them around his neck. Without breaking the eye lock, he pulled me closer by my waist and I went to him effortlessly. I felt like being in a dream, hypnotic. His eyes, smile and touch was making me forget all. Placing my head on his chest I moved as he guided me. He kept whispering sweet words into my ear pecking my forehead every now and then. I remember another guy asking me for a dance but before me it was Yash who bluntly refused the man , making him retreat. It made my heart flutter as his arms tighten around my form. I felt protected adored an above respected.. Wrong or right. Good or Bad , I don't know. For now, I just want to stay lost in this little perfect world of mine.

I didn't utter a single word on our way back home. I was confused, I don't know what to feel and call this new feelings. Once back I jumped off without looking back. I needed time to clear my head, I am sure , my face must be red with embarrassment as every second the kiss comes back to my head. With quick steps I moved to the room door and next minute I was pulled off it. ''We need to talk Resh'' As he dragged me to his room, my heart started pacing again. Is he going to kiss me again. I mentally slapped myself for the thought. Yash locked the door and turned to me, he made me sit on the edge of the bed , squatting infront of me; ''What's going on in your head Resh speak up'' My throat went dry. What should I speak? About the Kiss!! But how?? I never thought something can turn me speechless too and above all it had to be a kiss with my best friend; ''Yash, we shouldn't have kissed. '' When I heard nothing in response, I lifted my eyes to meet his. He was staring at me frown and a palm on his face. I felt my body heating up. Pulling my legs back I tried locking them together, suddenly I felt exposed. ''You are my best friend, I never saw you as a guy''

''Wait! You don't believe me to be a man . Seriously Resh !!'' I smiled, I knew he did that to make me feel comfortable and it worked. ''I never kept you in the bracket of guys I would or want to kiss''

''Cut the kiss, just tell me how many kissable guys are there in your bracket'' That made me blush, he lifted my chin up with his finger; ''I am asking so that I can murder all of them and close the bracket with just one name, Mine'' My breath hitched, heart shuddered and mind lost all its focus. I found myself trapped under his hypnotic gaze; ''You were saying'' He asked with a smile. I felt myself losing the battle again. But its necessary that we talk, I can't go about being embarrassed about the moment we shared. I just don't want to be awkward around one person I adore the most. Closing my eyes I broke the spell he was creating, pushing him back softly I pleaded; ''Yash we need to talk. Please'' He gave me a beautiful smile and nodded again.

''What happened was an accident. I didn't wanted to, I just didn't expect myself to do that. You are my best friend. Someone beyond attraction , jealousy or possessiveness. What happened at the beach , can complicate things between us, which I don't want. I just loved the way we were, I want that Yash. Our friendship and just that'' I spoke in one go and looked at him, he was watching me intently; ''What do you mean Resh''

Huffing I made myself clear; ''we shouldn't have..umm'' My words died as I felt his lips on mine , I was being jerked up from the bed with my feet were dangling in air. I punched him and he deepens it, I couldn't help and after a minute my arms went around him holding him close. Next moment I was kissing him back. I should have stopped, but I couldn't . I should have pushed but I pulled. I should be angry , but I wanted more. He locked me to the wall and leaned his forehead on mine breaking our kiss. We were breathless; ''I will kiss you till you agree it wasn't wrong. Because its isn't. I came back for you Resh. You are the one I have fallen for. 6 yrs you stayed with me like a breeze, your words gave strength. If I would get stuck, I would think how would you react or solve the situation. '' he kissed me again ; ''I am love with you Reshu, just you and no one else and I am not going anywhere till you accept me as yours'' If some could click a picture of mine then , I am sure I would have looked like a ghost out of a haunted Mansion. My body trembled and feet turned cold, he came back for me. His palm cupped my face; ''If you don't like it, fine I won't kiss you till you are ok with it . But modify you kissing bracket and it should just have my name'' he pecked my temple, had this been someone else I would have beaten the person black and blue. But Yash, he means a lot to me . He stood there watching me emotionally; ''You are making me weak Yash'' he smiled; ''That's the plan love''

''You don't understand. Things will change and I don't want that'' He pulled me by wrist making me sit on the bed; ''Yes they will, instead of hugging now I will be kissing you'' I am sure I was red , don't know because of embarrassment or anger. He was turning impossible. Frustrated I decided to leave when his arms went around my waist pulling me back ; ''The foundation of every relationship is friendship Resh. Parents with kids, siblings are best friends then why can't two friends fall in love and make a life. You are my best friend and you always will be . Nothing can change that, its you I trust more than myself. Let me in Resh, give us a chance'' I don't have a heart to push him, his arms around me, His body against mine and his breath fanning my skin all seems in place and just perfect. It feels it was meant to be, I don't want to lose him . I can't be rude to him. But I know if I get into a relationship I will ruin everything. I will leave him with a bitter experience , our amazing bond will be gone. How do I tell him , I am not the one made for relationships. I am not an ideal girl. I don't know , how to please a guy. How to keep him happy? Memories brought tears to my eyes and one treacherous drop escaped landing on his arm. He turned me around; ''hey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or force you. I spoke my heart and I intend to make you fall for me , if you haven't'' When I didn't respond he pulled me in a bear hug; ''Resh, I understand you are confused between attraction and love. But its ok, with time you will figure it out''

''I think what happened back there .'' I really didn't know what was coming out of mouth , but I wanted the night buried forever; ''Yash, it happened because of hormones. I mean my hormones. Look I am a human, I can react to a good touch . Frankly, your touch ignited my dead needs and I responded'' God it sounded so gross to my own ears. I accepted some boom bang from Yash, some anger or yelling but he stood there rooted to his place grinning ear to ear. Then he laughed doubling up. ''Come here girl'' I didn't move, sceptical of his mood. ''Come here or I will awaken all your dead desires right now'' I wanted to defy him, who knows he might kiss me again. I slapped my self mentally again. My hormones were definitely on a riot. Taking small steps I stood infront of lowering my head. He cupped my face; ''I love you but I love your hormones more'' I pushed him and he laughed. Stomping I was about to leave when he held me back; ''Every time you walk away, I will hold you back. Every time you deny, I will show you your heart.'' Who wouldn't react to these words, I stared at him helplessly , begging him to understand my plight he just smiled, brushing his fingers on my cheek; ''there is something which is holding you back. Something in the past has shaken you bad Resh. I will push you to accept or share, instead I will wait for you to come clean on it. I deserve and reason for rejection Resh'' With that he lifted my hands to his lips; ''Go before I decide to ignite your hormones again'' That irked me and I punched him hard before walking out. He wished me but I didn't respond. Moving to my room, I changed without making a sound. I didn't wanted to disturb Shikha.

I kept twisting and turning on my bed as sleep for far of my eyes. Whenever I would close them, I could see Yash's smiling eyes. irritated  I banged my fist on the mattress and Shikha groaned. I realized I was disturbing her. Leaving the bed I walked into the adjoining bathroom and stared at my reflection. My cheeks were pink with a blush and eyes looked dreamy. My eyes seemed to reflect him. Seriously, I have lost it. Tip toeing back to the bed, I made myself comfortable closing my eyes. 

''I never thought you were like others Resh, I trusted you . Loved you and in turn you betrayed me. You hid such a big thing from me, you are just like others. Just like Sheetal, I gave you my heart and you walked over it like if it was a carpet. Hate you Reshu'' I ran behind him , I wanted him to give me a chance. But he pushed me and left, he didn't turn around to give me a single glance. I lost my only friend, the only person I cared and loved with all my heart. I tried calling him for one last time but my voice wouldn't come out. I was choking

With a strange fear I jerked up, my body was covered in sweat. My eyes turned to the watch it was 4:00 AM. Throwing my body off the bed I quickly ran to his room. I wanted to be sure if he was still there. I watched him standing at the door, he was sleeping on his stomach curled under the sheets. He looked so calm , just as he always is. Walking closer, I allowed my hands the liberty to brush his hair , he stirred and then settled. leaning closer I pecked his cheek. I think I saw a smile . Brushing my thoughts I walked off. Tomorrow will be a new day.

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