CHAPTER FOUR

PLANNING to scribble down the notes from my intermediate pad to my notebook, I had this unbreakable focus that I had missed for so long. Sigurado ako na with this focus, I'll be able to finish at least four transfer notes, two assignments, and two reviewers. 

It was a good thing that Jackie had some errands that she had to go to as soon as possible so I was able to start my notes earlier than expected. And of course, sa favorite tambayan ko ako naka-pwesto. The serene music provided by the cafe helps me focus and calm down.

Winter Cafe. It's a unique and favorable type of cafe and study hangout place for people like me. It is a two-story building that's both a cafe and a bookshop. There are three types of seats where you can just relax: One, is the pillow section where you technically sit on soft huge pillows, matched with Japanese-type tables. I haven't tried it but it looked so comfortable; Two, the group section where there are sofas perfect for group meetings. Haven't tried that either since never naman ako nagyayang mag-group meeting dito; and lastly, the solo-duo section where, technically, the common wood tables and chairs are perfect for coffee dates — and self-studying, in my case.

I swear I loved how this cafe thought of including bookshelves filled with books that can either be bought or just read freely. And since ilang beses na akong tumambay rito simula nang mag-high school ako ay may kakilala na akong barista, si Ate Hossanah.

"One Iced Spanish Latte, Ate. Mamaya na po siguro—"

"Ikaw o-order ng isang glazed donut na may kasamang Salted Caramel frappe, noted, Miss Hadlee," nakangiti niyang sabi na s'yang bahagyang nagpatawa sa akin.

"Thank you, Ate," ani ko sabay abot ng bayad. "Kunin ko na lang din po mamaya."

Umiling naman si Ate Hossanah. "Nako, ayos lang, Miss Hadlee. Ipapalapag ko na lang mamaya sa table mo. Magbasa ka na lang." Napangiti naman ako dahil doon saka tumango at nagpasalamat.

I went to my favorite seat, which luckily still wasn't occupied at that time, and settled my bag on the coffee table before sitting down and grabbing my notebook and module. This favorite spot of mine has this huge window wall with a perfect view of the nearby park outside — minus the view of the heavy traffic at rush hour. But anyway, they serve a great variety of coffees and well, snacks.

I really wanted to spend my time reading a novel, but I remembered that I had to take some notes and review for some lessons since I really wanted to recite in classes. As I let myself succumb to the world of the notes that I was writing, I felt the waiter serve my drink and carefully place it on my table. I thanked him and continued with my notes — making sure that I wouldn't get distracted — but before I could get a hold of my coffee, just as I raised my head, someone caught my eye, but I quickly looked back at my notebook, continued writing, as if I just did not see Nexus standing in the middle of my favorite cafe, looking at me!

Holy guacamole. What is he doing here‽ I mean this is a public place, I have no control of his schedule nor this cafe's entrance and policy of who goes in, and who doesn't, but for Heaven's sake! Nexus. Is. Here. Looking. At. Me. I began to panic — obviously, but I really hope it isn't too obvious. "Pretend. Pretend. I did not see him. My heart isn't beating so damn fast. My breathing isn't in chaos —" Oh. my. god.

I saw a pair of shoes stop in its tracks in front of my table which made me stop functioning. This can't be happening. I heard him cough, maybe to get my attention, which I would very much want to give if I wasn't in a tight situation like how I am right now. "Hi, Hadlee!" his enthusiastic tone filled my ears. Agad akong napapikit nang marahan saka dahan-dahang idinilat ang aking mga mata. And I could still see those shoes. I then heard him let out a sigh.

I thought he would finally give up, maybe I don't know, leave already? Simple "Hi," or "Bye," would be fine and then he'll leave but no! He just had to adjust his body, his face was at the level of mine, and I swear to God, my heart was in complete riot, so I stared at my notebook even more, almost creating a hole in it.

"So, ganyanan? Matapos kitang iligtas mula sa kapahamakan, parang bigla na lang akong hindi nag-e-exist na anino para sa 'yo?"

Agad akong napalunok ng laway na nakabara sa lalamunan ko, dahilan kung ba't 'di ako makapagsalita agad. Alam ko namang hindi ko pa siya nakakausap at napapasalamatan about that savior thing but I really was planning to do it. He doesn't have to bring that up. Naghahanap lang ako ng tyempo. 'Yung tipong hindi mamasamain ni Jackie.

But maybe this is that time. Wala si Jackie, he brought that topic up, so I shouldn't let this opportunity pass. I should at least buy him a drink or snack, I don't know.

I took a deep breath. "Nex — Oww!" Agad akong napahawak sa noo kong tumama sa kung saan sa mukha niya — mukhang sa baba niya, roon siya nakahawak eh. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na anlapit-lapit niya naman pala. Ba't kasi 'di siya nag-adjust‽

"Nakng — Ang sakit, pucha!" rinig kong daing niya.

Shoot! I messed up. "S-Sorry, Nex — I mean, President." I'm so sorry. Our eyes met again for a second, but I quickly looked away as I felt my heart beating so darn fast. "Kumalma ka nga, heart. Kulit-kulit eh."

"Ano 'yon?"

As fast as I could, I turned my head around. I could feel some sweat falling down my cheek. "H-Huh? Wala, wala." God! Air-conditioned naman dito sa cafe pero ba't pinagpapawisan ako?

I could feel his eyes staring at me, but I made sure not to react even though it was tough to pretend. I'm pretty sure he's pissed. I really messed up today. "God, Hadlee!" Same sentiments, President. I'm really sorry.

I could feel how stressed he was as he calmed himself down. I also did that to myself, calming my fast-beating heart while I plastered an expressionless face, which was tough too. He was pacing back and forth, but then he finally stopped and faced me. I really thought he was going to get mad at me, but he just stared at me, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable — butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of uncomfortable — and so I could not stop blinking. Wanting to look away at the same time not wanting to.

I then noticed him sliding his hand inside his bag. "You know what? Just forget it," he calmly said, and slowly, his lips formed into a smile.

Adorable. I was somehow lost in his smile that I did not notice him holding a box of what looked like chocolates. I wonder why he's holding that—

"Here."

One word. Just one word and yet I was not able to process it well. What? "Ano 'yan?" I couldn't help but ask — I really don't know what's happening. "Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko diyan?" Why the heck are you giving it to me?

"It's just a little something," he shrugged, "Sige na. Kunin mo na lang. H'wag na maraming tanong, okay?"

He pushed the box a little more to my hands, which moved on its own to accept and get a hold of the box. Seriously, what? "Para saan ba 'to?" Pakiramdam ko ay tatanda ako nang maaga dahil sa kunot na kunot kong noo at magkasalubong na mga kilay.

"Tsk. Kasasabi lang na h'wag nang maraming tanong eh."

I forced myself not to roll my eyes at him. "Right." He did say that. "T-Thank you."

I was then rewarded with a chuckle and a smile from him. I wish I could take a picture of this scene. He had no idea how he affected my life — my mind, as well as my heart.

I have no idea why this was happening, but I'm not ungrateful. This... This feels nice. For him to notice me, to talk to me — to give me something. It's too much from what I could ask, and it makes me question whether this is real or one of my illusions.

"Okay... I think I have to go." His words popped into my thought bubble, letting me know that this was real and ending. "Uhm... Sana ma-enjoy mo 'yang bigay ko sa 'yo. Tamang-tama kasi nag-aaral ka pa ata — or gumagawa ng homework. Anyway. Either way, good luck! You take care!"

I just stared at his back and blinked and blinked and blinked again. Is this... Was that... Did he... A lot of questions kept popping up in my head.

My gaze went down to the box that I was holding. It had a note stuck to it. The beating of my heart doubled — no, tripled! — as my other hand reached for the note and my eyes began to scan the words written on it.

Oh. my. god.

H | Z