I had returned to the castle, to Primrose and Cecile and the younger girls. Adalyn, Bernadette, and Lark. They cried over Agnes. I couldn't cry, and Sabine wouldn't show up.

I ignored them all and went to Primrose, who looked at me in rightfully placed anger.

"What?" she said, voice raspy. "You've killed Agnes now. Are you happy? You were tricked by the men! The humans!"

"I know."

She slapped me, and somehow, it felt relieving. She must've wanted to do it for twenty years. I turned my head back to face her, and tears came from her glare.

"You were always everything!" she spat. "The world revolved around you! You were our everything, and I would've been fine if you didn't keep pulling Sabine into your horrid plans!"

"I am sorry."

"I hope you die. I hope you leave Jardin and we will never see you again!"

"You're right. That's a very good plan." I was calm, and took in all her anger. Her tears subsided and she sniffed as she calmed down too.

"Leave. Leave and never come back."

"I want you to tell Sabine I am sorry."

"No, I won't."

"I believe in you. I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. But you're a sister I care about."

"No. Be quiet. Shut your mouth."

"I do."

Primrose was quiet. "Sometimes I think of when we were younger, that one time I played with you and Sabine, how we could've been—if you didn't become Queen and be like, like this!"

A shadow moved and I turned just in time she stepped out. Cecile. She was hanging her head.

"Margery, please leave with me, together."

"No, we may go the same way, but I will not be with those humans any longer. I can't stand being with someone who tricked me." I looked away at the stone walls.

"You'll not be safe leaving alone!" Cecile came into our circle, just Primrose and I. "We need the human men to hid us, lie and say we are their wives or relatives. Just until we leave Jardin, please!"

"I won't stand it. I can't," I whispered. And I knew I couldn't. I won't ever see those eyes and that face without feeling betrayal. I had thought he was an Angel. Thought he would save me, be what my mother sang about in her lies.

"Margery!" Cecile pleaded.

"I'll be bringing the girls with me." I turned to Adalyn, Bernadette, and Lark. "You three are coming with me, you hear? You'll be wearing bonnets and listen to me."

"What?" Primrose snapped out of her anger. "Why are you taking them?"

"There's no more Butterfly Clan, Primrose. You're right, I was tricked and ended my own clan, but I will take responsibility and save them, if not Sabine and you."

"How? You might be lynched!" Cecile said.

"Well, then that's God's will," I taunted. I always hated that saying.

"What do you plan to do?"

"I don't want them to be here. I want to find my mother—Elsie, and Edith. I'll wander in eternity if I have to. And I'll be lonely, so these girls are coming with me."

"You don't get to take them!" Primrose argued.

"Who's Queen Butterfly?" I smiled. "If I want, I can have Selma and Rowena servile. I can have you thrown in the dungeon."

"No!" It was Cecile. "Don't follow someone you despised."

Primrose narrowed her eyes up at me, then turned around. "Do what you like. Take the girls."

"I will." It took a while before I could breathe again, everyone's eyes on me. I walked over and then looked down at them, a few inches or a foot shorter. "What do you girls want?"

"To leave," Bernadette said quickly. Adalyn nodded, elegant like she was beautiful.

"Go away from Jardin."

"Forever."

Looking at the three young faces I thought of us. It was Sabine and Primrose and Cecile. Only we weren't saved. I was more sure than ever. This was what our clan came of. This is the end, what Uriel wished for and what I did—for him.

We will leave.

***

I was not usually a person who cared for leaving places. Well, I've never left a place, but I was sure I wouldn't miss this place—and yet, the next day, I was standing in the falling snow, tracing the castle.

I looked up at it from the front. It was so grand. But it was goodbye. Then there was the tower, only I wasn't in it. I read a fairy tale about a girl who tossed down her hair. In the end, she was pregnant, and that's how her evil mother knew a man had been visiting her.

Those butterfly dreams told me of a far darker story; one where your mother forces you to be pregnant.

There was the spot I'd danced with Uriel, the path we showed the men to the lake that snowy day, and the spot we practiced shooting. Snow had became rain. It was the same to me.

I trudged back the front door of the castle. It felt like days had gone by when only four had. Five days ago Agnes died. The second day we were mourning. The men had buried Agnes somewhere. I did not ask or wish to know, only Cecile had came to tell me.

I had not seen him in so long. Why had I not? I loved him. Even more than Sabine.

Yet the moment I did, Uriel standing there in the front door, shivering and wet from top to bottom, waiting for me, I didn't walk closer. Long messy hair. It was almost like Sabine's hair with the same length.

"Margery," he whispered. The voice brought back memories I didn't want and then I shrank back.

"You called yourself Uriel, an Angel, when you were a demon. You hurt me. You hurt my sisters!" I didn't think before I spoke. I was anxious and scared more than angry—why? I had never felt such an emotion.

"I hated you all before I knew you." He yelled it, but it wasn't mad, it was regretful. "It was a cruel mistake on my part. I thought I should destroy your clan, but I have my reasons."

"You destroyed me and what Sabine and Primrose would ever be! Hope you feel good lying awake at night, thinking of that!"

He looked genuinely hurt.

"I wouldn't be happy, Margery."

"Stop saying my name!"

"I'll bring you outside! I'll do everything you wanted and more, I'll—"

"I hope you die!"

I turned and ran back to the back door of the tower.

Please follow, please follow, so I can apologize for what I said.

He didn't.

I hadn't thought about it for a long time, but when I returned to my tower I thought of it. I missed Uriel's skin, something about the smell of him, and the voice he had on when he was excited. All I knew of the outside world was what he said and lured me with, but even if it was an illusion, I wanted to be in it. I'll step and fall but I was sure.

I wanted Uriel.

I wanted to see him.

But I didn't want to see him welcome me back with open arms and words of apology, I needed to forge my own path. Show him I didn't need him. I was going to be something more than a pretty ignorant figurehead.

So I started to move.

I gathered the vial from Sabine, a knife I hid under my bed, and shoes. I tried on the only pair of outside shoes I had, and they were hard on my heels and the leather chaffed my skin. I had no stockings. I had no socks.

I had a bonnet and the outside clothing from Christmas. I had to slip into those, but Adalyn and the rest didn't have proper clothing. It'd be strange for me to walk around with three children in long dresses, unlike the children I saw from my window day after day.

"Will Sabine come?" Bernadette asked.

"No."

"Why?"

I looked at her and thought why indeed. Why couldn't I have loved her like I loved Uriel. Why I didn't know earlier and save her feelings.

"Because Sabine is Queen Butterfly," I lied.

"Not you?" Lark asked.

"She's not pure," Adalyn added, "Agnes always said that."

"Yes. Is that why we are getting taken away but not her?" Lark asked.

"You girls are all pureblood so Agnes was waiting for you to grow up and seduce men," I whispered. "And if you seen my tower, it's not a good thing to do. You've cleaned the blood before. Seen how bad it was."

"It was bad?" Lark asked.

"It's very bad. The people I've killed are people like Dr.Gregoire. Marcel. Karl. Yves. Uriel."

I thought of them.

"Dr.Gregoire takes care of Cecile. He buys her books. Marcel helped with the cooking a few times. Karl is from a foriegn place and came here despite hardships. Yves is a priest's son and also came here anyways. And Uriel—"

What did I know about him really? His family? Why did he never show me portraits or even sketches of them? I didn't know anything.

"Uriel is an artist. They are all people with lives and feelings and—"

I began crying.

Adalyn ran to me.

"No, Margery, don't cry! We see you're sorry! We are, too, we didn't want the men to be killed." She hugged me, and I hugged her back. She was always quiet, doing my hair and dressing me up when she was fifteen. I was around her age when I had to learn of those things, and she's surely been forced by Agnes to do those things.

Why didn't I protect her? Or Sabine? Primrose, even? I was Queen Butterfly but I had no power. I was less than a figurehead, I was a lure.

I was the illusion all along.

Bernadette came too and pulled Lark into our hug.

"It'll be only us now," I whispered. "No one else. No older vampires. No protection like that day with Yves. Are you girls ready?"

"I'll leave for anything," Adalyn said. Bernadette, nodding, whispered something.

"We will follow you."

"Why?"

"Because you protected me when Agnes was hitting me!" Lark piped up. "You don't remember, but you were sent to the dungeon because of that. And then Sabine went to visit you and we had to lie for her."

"Then why don't you follow Sabine?" I was dumbfounded. Adalyn, still holding my hand, smiled.

"Sabine would've wanted this. She always told us to take care of you. She loves you, Margery."

I bit back the tears. I can't be crying in front of them.

I had always thought of love as sweet, like Sabine's blood. Sweet and alluring. Not sour like most human men, not bitter or bad-tasting.

But Uriel's blood wasn't sweet. It's what I would describe as how one human man compared it to: being thirsty and walking for a long time until you finally see water.

It's what they say clenches all your thirst.