A/N Is this really only the fourth chapter since they broke up? It feels like forever. I can only write Cas wallowing in his own self pity for so long, so, moving on...

*SpongeBob narrator voice* A few weeks (days? How long until Castiel's birthday again?) later...

"Looking spiffy," Claire says with a teasing smile, eyeing Castiel's outfit.

He looks down at himself. He's just wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt. It's not like he got dressed up for the day.

"Well, it's a bit of an improvement from my typical sweatpants, I will admit," he replies.

"Hey!" Gabriel says excitedly, running up to his brother. "Happy birthday, Cassie!" He throws his arms around the boy, giving him an exaggerated hug.

Castiel pats his back awkwardly. "Thank you? And don't call me 'Cassie.'"

Gabriel chuckes and lets him go. "Whatever you say, Cassie."

Castiel just rolls his eyes, an amused smile on his lips.

"And here you see a Castiel that has survived another year out in the wild," Lucifer stage whispers in an Australian accent.

The three of them look around, but he's nowhere to be seen. They share a confused look.

"You heard that too, right?" Gabriel asks after a moment.

Castiel and Claire both nod. "Yeah."

Castiel pats his back pocket. "Wait, I have my phone. What's he doing if he's not live streaming?"

Claire scoffs. "Dude, seriously? When was the last time you were on social media at all?"

"Couple weeks ago. Why?"

"You weren't supposed to say that," Lucifer tells him, walking out into sight and holding his phone, pointing the camera at the others.

"Why not?" Castiel asks cautiously.
"Reasons."

"Luce hacked all your social media accounts and has been posting random things a lot," Claire explains. "Some of it he signed 'Lucifer,' but some of it he pretended was you and now everyone knows that it really wasn't and you just accidentally exposed your own brother."

Castiel gives his brother a confused look. "Why?"

"Because you're obsessed with the Internet, and not Interneting for weeks would look suspicious," Lucifer replies with a shrug. "Also, Claire, you're spoiling my evil plans and I'd appreciate it if you let me continue to be an evil mastermind planning to take over the world without telling said world about said plans."

Claire just laughs. "You're weird."

"Phase one, complete," Lucifer whispers.

"Um..."

"And exactly how many phases are in this 'brilliant' plan of yours?" a familiar voice asks, his British accent impossible to mistake.

"Worst case scenario, Plan Z has seven thousand fifty-two," Lucifer explains. "Plan A has one. I'm currently following Plan M, so, I'm thinking I have three hundred and eight left."

"Plan M, huh? Does one of these phases involve Hardison dying?" Gabriel jokes.

"Ay!" They share a high five at the reference that absolutely no one else understands.

"It concerns me that this seems to be a normal day for you."

Castiel shrugs. "You get used to it. Hey, Balth. Nice to see you again."

"You, too," he replies, giving him a brief man hug. "Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks, man."

"Wait, so... who's this?" Claire asks.

"Balthazar," he replies. "Their cousin. And I'm assuming you're Claire?"

"Good call."

"Well, now that you're here," Lucifer says with a grin, "let's get this party started!"

"But Sammy's not here yet!" Gabriel whines.

"Or Charlie, or Kevin, or Garth, or Harry, or Ed, or —"

"Ya know what, Castiel?" Lucifer interrupts. "You can stop complaining that you have too many friends and make yourself useful by getting us a bag of chips."

"It's my birthday. I'll make you go get the chips," he replies, sticking his tongue out at his brother.

"But I'm live streaming, so I can't leave the party!"

"There is no party yet!" Samandriel calls from another room.

"Well, Adam's, like, a minute away, so c'mon out," Sam replies loudly, appearing in the kitchen. He and Gabriel share a quick kiss.

Somehow, the moment Samandriel joins them in the kitchen, Adam shows up. They share a brief hug, and Lucifer nudges Castiel. He just rolls his eyes, but he can't help but smile at his brother's excitement.

"'Sup, bitches?" Charlie calls out, jumping into view. "Happy happy happy happy birthday, Castiel!" She runs over and gives him a hug. "You're finally 21! You know what that means?"

"I can go drink my problems away and never have to go a day sober?" he jokes.

"No! Well, I mean, yeah, if you want to, but no! You and I can go hang out at bars and hit up some ladies!" She pauses, then adds, "and fellas. Ladies and fellas."

Castiel chuckles. "Yeah, guess so." Not that it's something he's actually interested in doing. He's not exactly ready to start dating again. He may never be. He definitely wasn't when Dean came along again.

"And," Gabriel adds, "I'm taking Castiel to my favorite bar ever tonight, so you can come join us! Cuz you're older than him, right?"

She nods. "By few months, yeah. Being 21 is like a whole new world, man! And I'll totally take you up on that."

"Can I come?" Lucifer asks, jumping up and down.

"No!" the three of them say at once.

"But — but I want to!" he whines. "I'm 25!"

"Just go anyway," Claire suggests. "They can't stop you."

Lucifer grins. "I like the way you think."

"Are you at least a bearable drunk?" Gabriel asks. "Or, you know, as bearable as you can be?" he adds teasingly.

"Hey!" Lucifer whines. "And I wouldn't know. I've never had alcohol, so it'll be a new experience for both of us!" He holds out a hand to Castiel, who high fives it just to humor him.

"You've never had a drink?" Charlie repeats. "Ever?"

"Nope."

"Why?" Gabriel asks. "I went out the day I turned 21."

"I've never had anyone to drink with," Lucifer replies with a shrug. "I definitely wasn't going with Dad —"

"Hey, don't insult Dad like that!" Samandriel mock scolds him.

"I'm not!" Lucifer protests. "I love him to death. I just don't want to drink with authority figures. It's weird to think they can just, like, stop being authority figures, ya feel me?"

"I feel ya, fam," Gabriel replies.

"No one says 'fam' anymore!" Samandriel tells him for the billionth time.

"You're right," Adam agrees. "It's 'famsquad' now."

Samandriel smacks him upside the head, and he just laughs.

"I ship it," Lucifer whispers to his phone, which Castiel completely forgot he was live steaming on.

"Isn't Michael your age?" Sam asks Lucifer.

"Yeah, but he doesn't drink."

"Yes, he does," Castiel tells him.

"What? How would you know? You're never home, anyway."

Castiel thinks back to that time in chapter 45 when he read through Michael's notebook and saw drunk Michael's thoughts on immigration. Ah, good times.

"It's a long story," Castiel replies dismissively. "But yeah. He drinks. Occasionally," he adds as an afterthought, not because he knows it's only occasional drinking but so no one watching the live stream thinks he's secretly an alcoholic.

"Where is Michael, anyway?" Samandriel asks.

"His room?" Lucifer guesses. "I don't know. Let's look."

Samandriel opts to stay with Adam, so it's just the two loners — Lucifer and Castiel — who make the treacherous journey to Michael's bedroom. Well, that's what Lucifer called it, anyway, before he started singing the Little Einsteins theme song.

Lucifer throws his brother's door open carelessly. "Hey, Michael, guess —" He cuts himself off suddenly, freezing in his place. Immediately, he drops his phone on the ground and runs into the room, so Castiel picks it up and turns off the live stream before setting it on the table conveniently placed by the door. "Mikey?"

Castiel looks over to see Michael sitting on his bed with his back against a wall, hugging a pillow to his chest as if his life depends on it. His face is red from obvious crying, his cheeks stained with tears.

Lucifer crawls onto the bed with him and puts an arm around him comfortingly. "Hey, Mikey, what's wrong?" he asks.

"N — nothing," Michael tells him — an obvious lie. Michael never cries. Literally never. Castiel can't remember ever seeing him in tears. This must be something big.

"Talk to me," Lucifer coos. "What's wrong?"

"I'll... I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Why?" Lucifer asks. "Why wait?"

"Cuz..." Michael stops himself and shakes his head, crying harder. Lucifer holds him closer, rubbing his back soothingly. Michael buries his face in Lucifer's chest.

Castiel awkwardly stands in the doorway for a minute, unsure what to do. Finally, he silently signals to Lucifer that he's going to leave and walks back to the kitchen with everyone else.

Well. That just happened.

A/N I started a new fic (in the canon universe so no ships which is strange but fun) and I'm double spacing between paragraphs and it looks so much neater so I'm gonna go through Strings Attached and Fame Crazy and fix spacing, spelling, grammar, and any inconsistencies I find. Wish me luck.