A/N Not very spoily spoilers: Jack is an adorable lil shit! And Cas taking off his trench coat was the best part of the episode don't @ me

There's a brief commercial break, mostly because last chapter was getting really long and might as well just be broken into two chapters because this chapter is also long because the author wasn't paying attention and is too lazy to delete stuff.

Because this is a live tv show, the commercial break is also a break in filming the show, giving them time to chat amongst themselves. The only real notable topic of conversation is how Dean managed to snag tickets here, because apparently , Jody and Bobby were old friends who fell out of touch, but she's always glad to see his nonbiological children.

Eventually, the show is back on, and after a reintroduction, Jody says that they're going to play a "game," where she asks the pair questions from the audience — apparently the crew was aware that Dean was going to join before Dean and Castiel were themselves — to see how well Dean knows Castiel. They're supposed to write their answers on a small dry erase board, but there seems to be an issue getting them.

"Okay, well, while we wait for someone to find them," Jody says, "Dean, have you listened to the album yet?"

Dean nods. "Some of it, yeah."

"What do you think?"

"Even if you hate it, say something good," Castiel whispers loudly, earning a laugh from the audience.

Dean chuckles. "Well, I've only heard, like, half the album because I haven't had the time or equipment to actually sit down and listen to it, but so far, I think it's awesome. Cas always sees to be in the mindset of 'This isn't good enough, my fans deserve better,' and I think you can really see that, because every album gets better and better. It's cool that it's not like the generic techno-pop stuff that all sounds exactly the same with lyrics that sound like someone puked up a dictionary. It's got substance."

The audience laughs at that, even though Castiel knows that there are going to be a lot of people who trash that line, claiming he's dissing their favorite artists, which, honestly, he probably is, and their music probably deserves it.

"I don't know how valid that is for someone who hates basically all pop music, but thanks," Castiel says.

"I get more Led Zeppelin vibes with your stuff," Dean tells him. "Which, obviously, is way better than pop music."

Someone finds the dry erase boards, and one of the behind-the-scenes people brings them out, handing one to Dean and one to Castiel, as well as a black Expo marker and a small towel to erase it with. They also give Jody a small top hat full of small papers containing audience questions.

"Starting it off easy," Jody comments as she reads the first question to herself, then reads aloud, "How many albums does Castiel have?"

Castiel doesn't hesitate to write down "6," because, obviously, he knows his discography like the back of his hand. Dean mouths something to himself, counting on his fingers, then writes down his answer, shielding his dry erase board from view.

"Dean first," Jody says.

Dean flips around his whiteboard so it faces the audience. "6?"

Castiel does the same, confirming his answer. "I know you weren't saying album names, so what was that?"

"Well, I know you were 16 for your first one and you're 22 now, so I was counting."

Castiel just stares at him for a moment before saying slowly, "You realize that was a second-grade-level subtraction problem, right?"

"Well, no, because 22 minus 16 is six, but you didn't release an album last year, so that would be five and it wasn't five albums, it's six, so I stand by my method."

Castiel sighs, shaking his head at him. "You know what? You do that, Dean."

~~

"Who is Castiel's favorite singer?"

"If you get this one wrong, I'm disowning you," Castiel tells his boyfriend, scrawling down his answer of, "Bon Jovi." All of his fans would know that. Castiel basically mentions him in every interview he does. He's sure Dean doesn't watch his interviews, but he should at least know this one.

Dean writes for much too long before turning his whiteboard around. "He's going to say Bon Jovi but it's actually Kansas and he's lying to himself."

Castiel turns his board around to show his answer as well, but he doesn't pay much attention to that, instead focused on the fact that Dean thinks he likes Kansas more than Jon Bon Jovi, the music legend.

"You need to not," Castiel says. "Bon Jovi is completely, undoubtedly, 100 percent better than everyone else."

"Really?" Dean challenges. "What was the first song I heard you play on guitar?"

Castiel just stares at him uncomprehendingly.

"'Carry on my Wayward Son,'" Dean answers for him. "What was your literal theme song for basically the entirety of my senior year and your sophomore year?"

Again, Castiel just looks at him, unsure.

"'Dust in the Wind,' and honestly, I'm kind of offended you forgot that. What did you change your favorite song to at, like, prom-ish time?"

"'Hold On'?" Castiel guesses.

Dean nods. "Mm hmm. And tell me, who sings 'Carry on my Wayward Son,' 'Dust in the Wind,' and 'Hold On'? Is it Bon Jovi? No, it's...?"

Castiel hesitates, looking for a way out of this to somehow avoid admitting that Dean has a point, but he can't think of one, so finally, he just says, "Okay, so maybe Kansas has a few bops, but Bon Jovi's entire discography is legendary."

"The fact that you just called them 'bops' makes me want to cry," Dean deadpans.

"I know, I spend too much time on Twitter. Sue me."

~~

"What is Castiel's biggest pet peeve regarding his professional life?"

"Ooh, 'professional life,'" Dean repeats. "Fancy schmancy."

Castiel chuckles, not taking his eyes off his whiteboard. Dean takes a bit longer writing his out, but he still checks to make sure Castiel is done writing before he takes his guess.

"When people talk s-h-star-t about his brothers and sister."

Castiel laughs. "I like how you used the asterisk instead of just not swearing."

"I don't know how to not swear."

"I've noticed," Castiel replies with an amused smile. "I don't know, is that really 'regarding my professional life'?"

"Yes, because it's people being asshats because they think they're entitled to comment on anything related to your life because you're a celebrity."

"But —"

"Ya know what?" Dean interrupts. "For now on, I'll ask before every answer what exactly the question means. Is that better?"

"Very," Castiel replies with a teasing smile. "No, but that really is one of biggest pet peeves just kind of in general. It's one thing to talk s-h-asterisk-t about me or Dean or even Lucifer now because we've all chosen a career in the spotlight, and using my name in clickbait articles is probably feeding thousands of writers who otherwise would never have anyone reading anything they write, but bringing anyone else into it pisses me off because they never asked for it.

"My sister Anna just wanted to finish high school. My brother Michael just wanted to be a doctor. They're just ordinary people, and they never asked to be judged like they're on some type of reality tv show or whatever.

"Okay, sorry, rant over, but yeah, Dean would be right if that was considered part of my professional life, but that's kinda ambiguous, so y'all can make your own decision there."

"'Y'all,'" Dean repeats teasingly. "Are you from Texas now?"

"Yes, yes I am," Castiel replies. "Is that a problem, Dean? Are you state-ist?"

"No, no problem," Dean says, then adds teasingly, "cowboy."

"If that means I get a horse, I am so down for that." Because he's still on the show, he decides he should probably play along with the fans instead of just talking to Dean, so he says, "My answer was when people compare me to other artists, which I'm assuming happens to everyone, but I don't really look at the gossip about anyone else. It's just stupid because everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and it's really a matter of personal opinion who's better, and the whole mindset of 'there can only be one' is just plain wrong, and I'm going to stop there before I start ranting again."

~~

"What is Castiel's biggest fear?"

"Are we talking legitimate, normal fear, deep, personal fear, or funny, lighthearted fear?" Dean asks.

"What?"

"I'm asking questions to make sure my view of the question matches ours exactly," Dean reminds him. "So, legit fear. deep fear, or funny fear?"

Castiel thinks about that for a moment. "The last one."

Dean's guess is, "Social interaction."

Castiel laughs as he turns his own board around to reveal the same two words. "You know me so well."

~~

The next question is arguably the easiest question he could get that isn't something outrageous like "Are you secretly a lizard?" It's just "Are you religious?" and, as a gay man, there's no way he's going to say yes to that.

Dean's answer is, "'F*ck no' but in a politically correct way."

Castiel turns his board around, revealing the one word, "No," but specifies, "I'm not religious, but I don't have anything against people who are."

"Unless you're homophobic, and then we've got a problem," Dean adds.

"Yeah, if the premise of your religion is to be a good person and you twist it into some weapon of hatred and bigotry, then you suck and please, never ever talk to me."

~~

"What was Castiel's least favorite class in high school?"

"Does it have to be an academic class?" Dean asks.

"No, thus the word 'class,'" Castiel replies. "Any class."

"Is lunch a class?" Dean asks.

Castiel smacks his face with the palm of his hand. "No, Dean, lunch is not a class."

"So what, exactly, constitutes a class?" Dean asks.

"If it was on the schedule, it's a class," Castiel says, for lack of a better description.

"So, is homeroom a class?"

Castiel smacks his face against the whiteboard. "Why are you like this?"

"I've been asking myself that same question for years." As he scrawls down an answer, he adds, "It doesn't really matter, anyway. I already knew what I was gonna write."

They both agree on gym, though Dean adds, "Looking at you now, you wouldn't guess that."

~~

"What's the most romantic date you've ever been on?"

Castiel would have assumed that would be an easy one, because they've only been on one actual, official date, but Dean doesn't move, not writing anything down.

"Why is this one such a struggle for you?" Castiel asks.

"It's too self explanation, and I can't think of a smartass question to ask," Dean explains.

"Then how about, wait for it, you just answer the question," Castiel suggests.

"But where's the fun in that?" Dean says teasingly.

Dean's answer is "Picnic," while Castiel's is "Sunset," so Castiel explains for everyone else's sake, "He took me out on a picnic in this little field in Sioux Falls that no one seems to remember exists, and we watched the sunset together, and then he showed me the little house he got us that was basically right between our houses, and it was all really sweet and I love it."

"God, Cas, now people are going to think I have a soul or something," Dean says in mock annoyance.

"Oh, no, heaven forbid people think you do more that throw a ball around," Castiel says sarcastically.

"See, now you're getting it!"

The next question, "Who is Castiel's favorite country artist?" leaves Castiel almost as hesitant as Dean to choose an answer.

"What country singers even are there?" Dean asks.

"A lot," Castiel replies vaguely. "But, like, how do you pick a favorite? They're all my favorite. I'm just gonna go with the one who sings my current favorite country song."

Dean stares blankly at his whiteboard for a few moments, then asks, "Does it have to be a current country singer?"

"What?"

"Like, if they were country, but then they switched to pop —"

"No, Dean, it's not Taylor Swift," Castiel interrupts.

"Dammit!" Dean continues to stare at his whiteboard until finally, he seems to find a lead on this, because he perks up. "Wait, Lucifer just sent me a country song yesterday. Who sang that one? It was... like... it's... something with an L..." He sighs. "Yeah, I got nothing. No, wait, who was Lucifer just tweeting about this morning? That was... he... Ooh!" Dean quickly scrawls his answer down.

"Who'd you think of?" Castiel asks.

Dean turns his whiteboard around. "Kenny Chesney. Bam. I know country singers."

Castiel turns his board around as well. "Garth Brooks."

"Who?"

"Garth Brooks," Castiel repeats. "He's, like, the stuff of country legends. I was going through my old iPod and found 'Beaches of Cheyenne' again, so he was the first one I thought of."

Dean presses his lips into a straight line, finally saying, "Well, I was able to name a country singer, so who's really winning?"

~~

"Does Castiel have a secret Snapchat?"

"A secret what?" Dean asks, his brows furrowing together.

"Snapchat," Castiel repeats. "It's an app. It's kinda like — You know how Instagram has the story feature?"

"The what feature?"

Castiel runs a hand through his hand, exasperated. "Stories. You take a picture of a video and post it and it disappears after 24 hours? And you can send them to your friends over DM?"

Dean just stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"Do you even run your own Instagram account?" Castiel asks, because despite having seen Dean post on it before, it's hard to believe he's actually the one in charge.

"Yeah, but these stories thingies aren't Instagram. I mean, I thought?"

Castiel rolls his eyes. "How is it that Sam could probably hack into the White House computer servers in a day and you don't even know how to use Instagram?"

"Wait, it's possible to hack into the White House?"

Castiel nods slowly. "Mm hmm. It's a computer. Anything with a computer is hackable. Just don't do it because it's, like, really illegal."

Dean doesn't respond to that, clearly not sure what to say. Instead, he just asks, "But what's Snapchat?"

"You send people pictures and videos or post them on your story for everyone to see and they disappear after 24 hours. That's what I've gathered, at least, but I don't have one — and yes, I just answered the question, because you're clearly too confused to do it yourself."

"But, like, what's the point of sending someone something if it disappears?" Dean asks.

"Honestly, I have no idea. Ask someone who uses it."

~~

"If Castiel could talk to one person, living or dead, who would it be?"

Castiel doesn't hesitate to write his answer down, but, of course, Dean has to ask his questions.

"So, like, any historical person counts?"

"That would be the question, yes," Castiel says.

"What if no one knows if they actually existed, but still talk about him l he did?" Dean asks.

"What, like, Homer?" Castiel asks.

"Like who?"

"The guy people think wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey but don't actually know if he existed," Castiel clarifies.

"Then sure? I was thinking more Jesus Christ, but you do you, Mr. History Major."

Dean does eventually give an answer, but it seems his questions were irrelevant, because his answer is just, "His dad."

Castiel nods, showing his answer. "Yeah, actually. How did you know that?"

Dean just shrugs. "I've been there too a few times."

~~

As soon as Jody reads the next question, "Which one of Castiel's brothers is the most annoying?" Dean writes down his answer.

"What, no follow up question this time?" Castiel asks teasingly.

"Nope."

"No 'Does it have to be a brother or does Anna count?'"

"Nope."

"Nothing at all?"

"Nope."

Castiel chuckles and writes down his own answer.

Dean turns his whiteboard around. "Lucifer. 100 percent, completely, totally Lucifer. There is no other possible answer. It has to be Lucifer."

Castiel nods and turns his board around to show the same answer. "Yeah, but annoying in the best way possible. He's like a little puppy."

"He's like a little unicorn," Dean corrects him.

"I think that's the nicest thing you could possibly say to him."

~~

The next question is about Castiel's favorite animal, and Dean is immediately back to asking questions.

"Okay but how specific do I have to be?" Dean asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Species? Breed? Specific name?" He clarifies.

Castiel shrugs. "I don't know. Pick an answer. Be as specific as you'd like."

"Can I say 'a member of the animal kingdom'?" Dean asks.

Castiel smacks his forehead against the whiteboard again. "More specific. At least give me a species."

Dean groans in mock frustration. "Ugh, so much work."

His answer is "Misha," which matches Castiel's answer of, "Dogs."

"God knows why," Dean adds. "Your dog is freaking weird."

"My dog is freaking perfect!" Castiel says immediately.

"Your dog looks like something out of a horror movie."

Castiel crosses his arms across his chest. "Excuse me?"

"He's the monster under the bed that little kids are always afraid of."

"He's just slightly disabled," Castiel protests.

"'Slightly disabled'? He literally has, like, half an ear total, and he's only got one eye —"

"Are you discriminating against cyclopses?" Castiel asks, pretending to be offended.

"No, only cyclopses' dogs."

"This is why we can't have nice things, Dean," Castiel pouts.

"Hey, at least I got the question right."

"Because it was so hard," Castiel says sarcastically.

"In my defense, it was entirely possible you were going to say guinea pigs."

Castiel scoffs. "Guinea pigs? Seriously? Why would I choose guinea pigs?"

Dean shrugs. "To represent Lucifer's new guinea pig, I guess."

"Wait, Lucifer has a guinea pig?" Castiel asks.

"Yeah, you didn't know?"

Castiel shakes his head. "No. Wait, how do you know?

"He texted me a picture," Dean explains. "I'd say it was a weird picture, but Lucifer was in it, so that's kinda self explanatory."

Ordinarily, Castiel would laugh at that, but he doesn't this time. Instead, he just says, "I can't believe he texted you and not me."

Dean shrugs. "What can I say? I'm everybody's favorite."

~~

"Does Castiel watch all Dean's football games?"

"Does this mean in person or on tv?" Dean asks.

"Either."

"Does it include every football game ever, or just this year?"

"This year."

Dean stares at his whiteboard for a moment, then asks, "Will you tell me the answer?"

"No."

"Dammit."

They both write something down, and Dean's answer is a hesitant, "No?"

Castiel nods and turns his whiteboard around to show the same word. "I watched the one in Mass earlier this year, but every time you fell —were tackled, whatever, I don't football — I was afraid you weren't gonna be able to get back up and it was stressful, so that's never happening again."

"Wow, ye of little faith," Dean says teasingly. "That's literally what I do. You could at least pretend you believe in me just a little bit."

Castiel shrugs. "Well, I care too much. At least I'm not hoping you fall and die."

"Ah, yeah, that's a plus," Dean agrees. "I'm sure that's what you think whenever something happens to Ketch, though," he jokes.

Castiel chuckles. "Oh, man, Ketch is..." For the audience's sake, he says, "The first time he saw me, he called me a princess. Which, I mean, he's not wrong, but he's... He's a special little snowflake. Not that I don't like him, of course. He's kinda like Lucifer but, like, not."

"'Kinda like Lucifer but not," Dean repeats. "That's very descriptive. I can really tell that you use words for a living."

~~

The next question is about Castiel's last text, and Dean continues his question streak.

"The last text you sent or the last text you received?"

"Either one."

"So, the last text on your phone, whether it's received or sent, or there might be two different answers?" Dean asks.

"The first one." Castiel pauses, then says, "Actually, no, if there are two answers and you guess them both, you win twice."

"But do I have to specify which is received and which is sent?" Dean asks.

Castiel smacks his forehead against his board again. "Just write something!"

Dean's guess is that he was the last person to text him, and the last person Castiel texted was Lucifer.

"I don't know. I've gotten two texts since I put my phone away, so let's see."

He pulls his phone out to see that the first text was Dean just saying that he was here, but the most recent was from Lucifer.

"Nope, Lucifer for both." He squints his eyes, trying to see the picture his brother sent him. "What even...?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the guinea pig," Dean tells him. "And it looks like he texted me before he texted you, so haha." He sticks his tongue out playfully.

Castiel scoffs. "What? But — Okay, I have officially disowned him. He's no longer my brother. I know longer know him on a personal level. He is now a stranger that I only know exists because he makes YouTube videos."

"He's really living up to the name Satan, isn't he?" Dean jokes. "No, but he probably just went alphabetically through his contacts and I was first."

"But Novak comes before Winchester," Castiel reminds him.

"Does Lucifer look like the kind of guy to put last names in his contact list?"

"Well, no, but Castiel still comes before Dean."

"Oh, no, my contact name is Bullwinkle," Dean tells him.

Castiel can't help but laugh. "It's what?"

"Bullwinkle," Dean repeats. "Like Rocky and Bullwinkle? Moose and squirrel? Ringing any bells?"

"No, but honestly, the day I understand one of Lucifer's references, I'll lose faith in myself. But, like, why Bullwinkle?"

"That's an excellent question," Dean agrees. "I was going to ask, but I don't think I really want to know."

"Ah, yeah, that's fair."

~~

They continue on in this fashion for another few minutes, more of just Dean being a dork with all his questions than actually playing the game. Castiel is sure his fans won't like it, but he has enough fun that he doesn't care. Maybe it will get people talking about it, which will get people talking about the album, which will probably mean more people streaming the album, if not flat out buying it.

He doesn't really care, though. His album sales have never mattered less than they do now. He has his fans and he has his haters, and very few people in between. He'll sell as many albums as people want to buy, but Castiel won't pay attention to it, because he's happy breaking his previous album sales record, and he's happy not reaching it. Life has just been so good lately, he's happy no matter what, now that Dean's here.