Dedicated to: @Martin35

When Harper kissed me, I didn't freeze like all those other girls in books.

No, I reacted instantly, savouring in the feeling of his lips against mine, twining my hands up to let my fingers knot themselves in his hair.

I was kissing Harper Andrews.

The infuriatingly drool-worthy, charming, sweet, cocky, arrogant boy that drove me insane and had somehow made me fall for him- was kissing me.

Me.

Not some random girl at our school, not even Bethany from Dallas.

Harper was kissing me.

It seemed like he wanted to, too.

Both his arms were on me, one around my waist, pulling me tighter to him, another gently cupping my cheek as his lips moved softly against mine as if I were a china doll, just about to shatter. His skin was warm against my bare waist.

I finally realised what girls meant about 'sparks' when they have their first kiss, however cliché that sounds. However, there were no sparks for me. No, it felt like there was a dragon in my stomach, burning my insides, as Harper pulled me closer, and closer, his lips fervently passionate against mine- tasting of the vanilla icing on my cake. I didn't care if I was a terrible kisser, because this was my first kiss. I didn't care at all. Not when I was kissing my first love for the first time.

Shocks of electricity ran through his lips, surging through my own and into my blood, making my mind go all fuzzy as I kissed him back. Slowly, cautiously, I pressed myself I pressed myself harder against Harper, trying to get closer. He grinned against my lips, allowing to move towards him, pulling me off the bench so that I was sitting with him at the bottom of the jacuzzi, just my head and the top of my shoulders sticking out of the warm water. When we kissed, it was like everything else didn't exist. It was just me and him, nothing else mattered.

I don't know how long we had been kissing. It could have been a few seconds, hours, days, years, I couldn't tell, before Harper stiffened, as if realising something completely and utterly devastating.

No.

No. Don't pull away, Harper.

He pulled away, his lips leaving mine. The movement was soft, but it felt like a train had crashed into me and I whimpered, yearning to be in that same proximity within him again. I stared at him in awe, but Harper avoided my eyes, his mouth frowning and solemn.

Finally, he had pulled away so much that we weren't even touching anymore.

No.

This isn't how my first kiss is meant to end.

I always thought that I would be the first to pull away. Not him.

Why did he pull away?

Does he not like kissing me?

Am I a bad kisser?

Does he- does he not like me?

He should, shouldn't he? He kissed me.

Yes, but you asked him to kiss you.

But he kissed me back.

I watched as he ran a hand through his hair, still avoiding my eyes. This boy had my heart clutched in his hands, and he didn't even know. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Harper?" I asked gently. My voice wavered slightly.

He sighed heavily, finally raising his eyes to look at me. They were blank- I could see the guarding walls he had put up in his eyes. "I- I'm sorry, Noelle. I shouldn't have done that."

I stared at him in shock.

"I'm sorry I took your first kiss. I know, I know, it was a spur of the moment thing- I mean, it's late at night. There's even this stupid romantic music playing in the room- " He awkwardly gestured to the small speaker in the room. "It may have seemed like an emotional moment. I understand why you asked me to kiss you. A spur of the moment."

I clenched my fists, biting my lip, ready to open my mouth and protest.

It's not a spur of the moment, Harper. I love you.

"Noelle, you see- " Harper winced slightly, and his expression cracked quickly, so fast that I couldn't identify the emotion. "I know you don't like me like that. And I don't like you like that, too."

Harper dropped my heart on the tile, and I felt it shatter.

My stomach clenched, and I felt my eyes brim with tears. I looked down at the water so he couldn't see.

It hurt. A lot.

He doesn't love me.

Hell, he doesn't even like me.

You were an idiot for thinking otherwise. This is all your fault for getting your heart broken.

I bit my lip harder, trying desperately to stop the tears from flowing.

"Noelle?" Harper asked. "Are you okay? Are you crying because I took your first kiss? Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby doll- "

I winced, his words taking another stab directed towards my heart.

"I- It's fine," I stuttered. "Um, it's okay." I looked up, hastily wiping away my tears. "I just- I want to leave right now."

I can't tell him I love him. Not now. Not after he said he didn't love me.

My heart would just get broken even more.

I grabbed my swim top from the side of the jacuzzi, shakily slipping it on and getting out of the water. I took a towel from the rack and wrapped it tightly around my trembling body. I refused to look at Harper. I stumbled as I took my first step, falling ungracefully to the ground.

"Noelle!" Harper cried out, jumping out of the jacuzzi. I didn't bother getting up, my body shaking with silent sobs. He kneeled down beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder hesitantly. I flinched when he touched me. "Are you alright?"

No, you idiot.

My body hurts, and I love you, and you broke my heart just a day after I realised it. Do you think I'm okay?

Heartbreak sucks.

Love sucks.

I took in a deep breath, before shakily getting to my feet. "I'm fine," I stuttered, then racing out before Harper could say anything else. I ran, flying up the stairs, tripping a few times, my feet slippery on the wooden floor and my heart heavy with pain. It was finally when I reached my room and locked the door when I allowed myself to break down.

I cried, stumbling towards my bed, curling up on the duvet, not caring if I was making it wet.

He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you.

But you knew that. Why didn't it hurt so much then?

Because there was still hope then. But now he has confirmed it- right to your face.

Heartbreak was a lot more painful than I thought.

I clutched the fabric of the blanket, tears flowing freely down my face.

Stop acting so weak, Noelle. He might end up loving you.

Yeah, right.

Stop it, Noelle. There are so many other people. He was just your first love.

Stop being so dramatic! You're not even freaking dating!

I tried to gulp down my sorrow.

Well this is funny, isn't it?

It's your seventeenth birthday and your heart gets broken.

I didn't want to move on. This is Harper we're talking about.

And that's how I fell asleep- crying and trying to push all thoughts of Harper out of my head.

—————————————————————————

When I woke up, my head was aching and my eyes were red and puffy. I groaned, pulling the duvet over my head.

Last night.

I tried to force the tears to stay down.

I suddenly heard soft knocking on my door.

"Noelle, darling? Can I come in?"

Mom.

I nodded, before stupidly realising she couldn't see me. "Yes," I called out, my voice cracking. She came in, already dressed in her ski equipment. She gasped when she saw my condition.

"Noelle, baby!" She almost yelled, locking the door and rushing to my side. "What happened?" She stroked the hair from my face, perching at the end of my bed. I didn't answer. I didn't want to.

"Noelle," she sighed. "Harper told me about yesterday night. How you wanted to go to bed early. Why?"

So he didn't tell her about the kiss.

Do I tell her?

She's your mom.

"Mom, last night- Harper kissed me."

Mom's eyes widened, before a huge grin spread on her face. "Seriously? Oh my god, the ship- it's sailing- Magg- " She called out. I quickly motioned for her to be quiet.

"Mom, it didn't end up well. Harper pulled away and told me it was just a spur of the moment thing. That he didn't like me like that." My voice cracked, and Mom's happy expression faded.

"Oh my god, Noelle," she muttered, leaning down to hug me. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," I muttered. "I'll survive."

No it's not.

"I still believe that you two can be together, you know," she said, standing up again. "What he said- it just doesn't seem right. I mean, you know Harper. It's- it's not something I think he would say."

I sighed. "It doesn't matter, Mom. What's done is done. Now go enjoy skiing."

She frowned. "Do you want to come?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, then." She kissed my forehead. "I love you, darling. I know you'll be spending a lot of time with Harper this trip, and right now I know that you probably don't want to speak to him, but don't worry. Just a few days before we go back to California, okay?"

I nodded. Mom smiled, waving at me, before exiting the room. I groaned and buried myself further into my bed, trying to forget about the kiss.

Just move on, Noelle.

I cleared my head from all thoughts of Harper.

Okay? Now get up. It isn't that bad.

I nodded to myself and slipped out of bed, stretching my body, just as I heard the front door close, signalling that everyone had left.

Good. I was on my own.

Now go do something.

I stepped out of my room and went down the stairs, flopping myself on the sofa.

Get your mind off him.

I leaned forward to switch on the TV. I sighed in relief, getting myself very involved with the newest episode of Masterchef on the TV. I may be the worst cook in the world, but I enjoyed watching cooking shows.

New random fact about Noelle!

Just as I was about to reach for the bag of chips next to me, Harper walked into the room.

I froze.

He hadn't seen me yet. He was dressed in a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms and the same Fall Out Boy t-shirt he had worn when we first met. His skin was pale, stark in contrast to his ebony black hair, and his cheeks were flushed pink.

Shoot.

Quietly, I shuffled on the sofa, trying to push myself into it. Or maybe camouflage.

Be the sofa, Noelle. BE THE SOFA.

Harper turned around. Once he caught sight of me, he froze.

His beautiful, chaotic green eyes locked with mine and all the pain from last night came rushing back. The loss, the sorrow, the heartbreak- it was so much that I had to avert my eyes.

"Noelle," he finally breathed. I tried to ignore him, turning back to the TV. A sigh, and then I felt the other side of the sofa lean down, telling me Harper had taken a seat next to my curled up figure.

Why isn't the jerk skiing with everyone else?

He didn't touch me, but I felt his eyes boring into me, which, right then, felt way too intimate for my liking. We sat in silence for a while, just the sound of the TV lingering in the tense air.

Okay, ignore him. Resist the urge to fling yourself onto him and kiss him like crazy.

Oh, wait... you already did that, didn't you?

Shut up. You should be mad at him, right? He took away your first kiss then straight after told you he didn't like you. On your birthday.

Well, you did ask him to kiss you...

He could have refused.

"Noelle?" He finally asked. I couldn't help it anymore, and turned to look at him. His nervousness was cute, I thought.

"What?" I almost hissed. He winced at my sour tone.

"Can we talk?" He asked. I glared at him, my heart skipping a beat when he looked up at me through his lashes.

"No." I replied shortly, before turning to the TV.

Fictional boys were better, anyway.

"Baby doll," he groaned, pulling a hand through his hair and messing it up even more. "God damn it, can we just talk?" I flinched at the nickname, my chest stinging slightly.

I mentally stabbed him with my eyes to try and cover up the urge to hug him. "Don't call me that."

Hurt flashed in his eyes and I almost immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry, Noelle, I really am. I shouldn't have taken your first kiss without liking you." He breathed as if it pained him, and my resolve softened a bit, despite how much it hurt. "I completely understand if you hate me- however much I would hate that- just please can we forget about it? You know what? If you want, you can even punch me, straight in the jaw- "

I turned to him, before punching him straight in the jaw.

"Fuck!" Harper yelled. Ignoring him, I turned back to the TV, trying to act indifferent.

I feel bad.

He freaking deserved it, though.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off me, however terrible that sounded. I smiled a little.

"Damn, babe, you can punch," Harper groaned, dragging a hand down the area where I had punched him. "Am I forgiven?"

I thought for a second. "Partially."

It's hard to be mad at this jerk.

"Damn it," he mumbled. "Can I make it up to you somehow?"

"No, it's fi- " I began, before cutting myself off. I grinned evilly, a planning popping into my head. "You could." I drawled teasingly.

Harper grinned, and to my surprise, wrapped me into a hug, pulling me into his chest, his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I was immediately reminded of last night, his arms twined around me, his lips firm on mine, and my heart stung.

You're quick to forgive, aren't you, Noelle?

Quicker than Harry Potter on his Nimbus 2000.

That wasn't so fast, anyway.

His Firebolt was quicker.

To both my relief and sorrow, Harper pulled away.

"You may be better at skiing, baby doll, but I will definitely win this." He smirked and turned back to the TV.

——————————————————————————

"You freaking did what?" I heard Florence screech from next door.

I flinched, trying to read my book. Samara sat next to me on my bed, face timing Emma. We all froze.

Poor Harper.

Somehow, Florence learnt about the kiss. Let's just say she was not happy. I had tried multiple times to stop her from murdering Harper, but she had slammed the door in my face and locked it.

"I feel kind of bad for Harper right now," Samara stated.

"I MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL YOU WITH MY STILETTOS RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T FREAKING APOLOGISE TO NOELLE!" Florence screamed. Of course, in a highly sophisticated manner.

"I already apologised!" Came Harper's frantic voice. If there was anything that could scare everyone, it was Florence when she was angry.

"YOU BETTER HAVE!" Florence replied. "OR I'LL- "

I mentally censored her words after that.

I glanced over at Emma, who was glaring at the camera of her computer. "Don't you worry, Noelle, I'll also have a word with that prick. Nobody breaks my best friend's heart and gets away with it-" She cracked her knuckles. "- If they want to survive my wrath."

I grinned at her. "Love you, Emma."

She smiled sweetly. "Love you too!"

"But seriously, it's fine. I talked things over with Harper." I continued.

Samara gasped. "So he does like you?"

I shook my head quickly. "No! He thinks I was upset because he took my first kiss. He doesn't like me."

Just as I said that, Florence walked into the room, dragging a wincing Harper by the ear and pushing him onto the bed next to me.

"It's okay," she smiled sweetly. "I had a nice little talk with Andrews, here. Didn't we?" She glared at Harper, who didn't need to be told twice to nod frantically.

"Good," she grinned, before skipping out of the room.

Harper sighed with relief and relaxed on my bed, splayed out over it. I tensed when his arm touched my bare knee. He noticed and looked up at me.

"Fuck, baby doll, you can't still be mad at me." He groaned. I glared at him and turned away to read my book.

I hate you and the things you do to me Harper Andrews.

Could you, maybe, I don't know, give my heart a break, please?

"You bet your money she is," Emma sighed from the computer. Samara nodded and glared at Harper as well. I decided to save him, despite how annoyed I still was at him. Not for the reason he thought, though.

"Well, you still haven't made it up to me," I shrugged, turning back to face him.

Hey, may as well use it as my advantage, shouldn't I?

"I was planning on making it up to you in California, though, and that's in two days." Harper whined, pouting adorably. "I can't go that long without you, baby doll."

Emma and Samara awed and I blushed. "W- well you're going to have to live with it, don't you?" I stuttered. He closed his eyes and frowned, a cute little crinkly forming between his eyebrows.

"This might be the hardest two days of my life."

I HAVE SO MANY EXAMS ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY IM SORRY THIS TOOK AGES TO GET UP AH IM SORRY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DANISNOTONFIRE (DAN HOWELLLLLLLLLLL :D)

Oh my gods im exhausted

WE REACHED #53 IN TEEN FICTION YESTERDAY GUYS lIKE wHAt

whoop whoop

why are my A/N's so weird... idk im a weird person ;)

sorry... this chapter is a few words short... meh I wanted to get something up quickly for you :)

GOALS: ik, ik, this is pretty ambitious, but... 120 votes?

DEDICATION: if you had to ship any of the characters with an inanimate object, what would it be?

THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS

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