Lionpaw shut his eyes without question. A low purr rumbled in his throat as he drifted off to sleep. Hollypaw lay down next to him, curled up in a tight ball. Her tail covered her nose, short black fur stirring as she breathed.

Jaypaw stared at them. This would be the last time he'd see them, the last time he'd see the world in the way he did now. He'd be able to see in his dreams but it wouldn't be the same. Jaypaw would still spend his waking hours in darkness. Scraping away at dirt, making tunnels day after day. Not allowed to hunt with the other tunnels as they chased after rabbits in the winding passages. Not able to fight like they could. Even if he could see in his dreams, what good would that do? He'd always be different. His clanmates would always treat him as inferior because of his blindness.

Here, things could be different. Jaypaw could hunt and fight like every other cat. See the world as they did. He didn't have to worry about a father who didn't love him, a mother who loved him too much, and a brother harbouring hatred. Crowfeather, who'd always stayed away from the nursery, who always avoided him in camp. Was it because Jaypaw and Breezepaw were Nightcloud's kits and not Leafpool's? Nightcloud had always said so. Or was it because of what Jaypaw had always feared; his blindness scared his father away. Crowfeather was ashamed of him. Who wanted a blind son, someone who could never make him proud, a cat as helpless as a mole?

Nightcloud's love was smothering. Maybe if Jaypaw was normal, she would give him some space. Whitetail didn't fight Heatherpaw's battles for her or watch her every move. Sunstrike left Furzepaw and Whiskerpaw alone unless they needed her. No, Nightcloud saw Jaypaw as weak, just like all his Clanmates did.

And Breezepaw, he was changing before Jaypaw's eyes. He was a different cat than he was as a kit. He was darker, angrier than before. Inside of him was a rage that was waiting to come out. He bossed everyone else around, he snapped, he hissed. He was always ready for an argument or a fight. Always speaking out against kittypets, rogues, the other Clans. It was as if there was a fire in his belly, burning him from the inside out. Breezepaw didn't talk to Jaypaw anymore. He saw Jaypaw as weak too.

All his Clanmates saw him as useless. So did the other Clans! What did he have to go back for? A family, a Clan who treated him like dirt because of his blindness? Jaypaw was sick and tired of being walked over and spat on. So tired of proving himself over and over again, only for no one to listen.

But here, he could be normal. Here he could be happy. Here, he would never have to prove his worth. Jaypaw could join this WindClan. He could make friends with those nice apprentices, run along the moors or in the tunnels as he pleased. He could hunt, fight, do what he liked. Without his blindness, Jaypaw was free to do anything.

He looked at Hollypaw and Lionpaw, watching the fluttering rise and fall of their flanks. With a pang, he realised he'd miss them. But it wasn't enough to make him leave.

Jaypaw turned to Rock. "I'm not going back."

Rock stared at him. "What did you say?" He snapped.

"I'm not going back," he repeated. "I want to stay here and join WindClan. I'll be happier here."

Rock stepped towards him, twisted teeth glinting in the moonlight. "Why would you want to do that?" He spat.

Jaypaw stood up. "Back in my time, I'm ridiculed for my blindness. No cat takes me seriously. WindClan expects me to live out my days making tunnels and acts like I should be grateful that they're giving me this huge opportunity. They think I should consider myself lucky they don't just shove me in the elder's den or keep me shut in the nursery forever."

Rock groaned. "I'm sorry life isn't easy for you. Grow up, Jaypaw. Every cat faces challenges. No one gets a perfect life. You're one of the Four, you don't get a choice. You have to fulfil the prophecy. It's what you're born to do."

Jaypaw lashed his tail, glaring at him. "No! I'm sick of accepting bad treatment! I don't care what StarClan wants, they're not in charge of my life! It's my destiny and I get to make my own choices. And I choose to stay here, where I'm equal to everyone else." He spat in Rock's face. He was sick of WindClan, of Rock, of StarClan. He could control his life, not them. 

A low growl rolled out of Rock's throat. He didn't back away from Jaypaw, staying solid and strong in the face of his anger. "You can't stay here, Jaypaw. Without you, the Clans fall apart! You saw how the Clans came to be. How it all started, as an ancient tribe. The long journey to the mountains. They fought to survive there, but fate had other plans. They traveled to the forest, splitting off into the Clans you know today. So many cats died in the first battle for peace. Generations of struggles and fighting, the Clans eventually returning to their ancestral home of the lake...so many cats have fought, struggled, and died for the Clans to become who they are today. Are you willing to throw away all of this because you're too weak to put up with a little strife?"

The word "weak" struck deep into Jaypaw's heart. Rock had sliced his body open, spilling his guts over the ground. "Weak? I'm not weak! Ever since I was born I had to put up with everyone's judgements. I was thrown aside as useless the moment I opened my eyes. All my life I've listened to my Clanmates call me names, tell me I'll never amount to anything. I've never been given the opportunities than every other seeing cat got. Maybe if the Clans wanted saving, they shouldn't have treated one of their saviours like dirt! Why should I sacrifice everything cats who never gave me anything?" He turned away from Rock, striding away, snarling over his shoulder. "Send Hollypaw and Lionpaw back. Maybe they and the fourth cat can save the Clans. I don't care. I owe them nothing."

He stormed out of the bush. He followed the moonlight, up to the moorland. For a moment Jaypaw stood there, taking in the sights. The breeze lapped at his fur, tugging at him, begging him to run away with it. He could see the moorland stretching out all around him. Land Jaypaw could run on, hunt on, fight for, call his own. Jaypaw could do anything he liked here. He was free.

Breaking into a run, Jaypaw's long legs carried him far away from Fourtrees. His paws bounced off the grass, propelling him into the air. He pictured the cats he met that day. He wasn't Jaypaw, the worthless blind cat anymore. He was Silver Claw, a proper apprentice. No one would underestimate him again. He'd grow up in WindClan with new friends and Clanmates who would treat him well, who would respect him. He could reinvent himself, leave everything about his old life behind. Jaypaw could picture it now, him laughing alongside Black Ear, Silver Stripe and White Tail, hunting with his Clanmates every day. They'd praise his skills, appreciate him. Jaypaw would fight for WindClan if he had to. He'd grow up, take a mate, have kits...or maybe he wouldn't. He could do whatever he wanted.

A form so faint, had it not been so familiar Jaypaw would've missed it, appeared on the horizon. A pale glow, like moonlight reflecting in a pool, outlined a small feline. This cat ran towards him. Jaypaw could see the hills and the sky through his transparent white and ginger patches. Fallen Leaves came back for him.

Jaypaw felt a joy, a warm feeling glowing brighter than Fallen Leaves had when he stood in the sunlight. Fallen Leaves was back for him. Jaypaw saw his feelings in perfect clarity. It wasn't Lionpaw. It never had been. This whole time, his feelings were for Fallen Leaves.

Jaypaw ran towards him, almost colliding with Fallen Leaves's faint form. "Fallen Leaves, it's perfect! I'm not going back to the Clans, I'm staying here! I'm going to live in this time, where I'm not blind, where I'm not mistreated, where I can be happy. You said you didn't want me to leave - well, now I never will."

Jaypaw stared at Fallen Leaves with an eager grin, waiting for his excitement...only to find Fallen Leaves's eyes cold. Jaypaw stepped back. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I wandered the tunnels alone for countless season cycles, always looking for a way to rejoin my tribe. And you would throw away everything, just like that?"

Jaypaw flattened his ears, turning away. "You don't know what it's like for me. None of my Clanmates care. They all think I'm useless. Everything I have, I've had to fight for and prove, over and over. Things my Clanmates have without question. They're born into opportunities that I'm denied. They get to become warriors, hunt, fight, fall in love. If I go back I get a life of others doubting me. I'm expected to spend my life working to fulfill a prophecy I never asked to be born into, to save cats who never gave a rabbit's tail about me!"

Jaypaw was expecting Fallen Leaves to argue with him, but his ghostly form brushed up against Jaypaw. His body, or spirit, whatever he was, froze Jaypaw's skin. He turned to look at him, meeting Fallen Leaves bright green eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jaypaw. It's not fair and I won't pretend it is. That's why you should go back. So you can make your world a better place for cats like you." His voice was soft and gentle. "Your path isn't easy. I can't tell you that it will all be worth it. I can't say that it will make you stronger. You shouldn't have to suffer, Jaypaw. You're already so strong. All I can say is that you shouldn't run away from your life. You shouldn't let them win."

"A wise cat once told me: 'You're allowed to feel hurt. What happened to you was horrible. You can choose to hurt or choose to see the good in things and move forward.'"

"When I said that to you...I was thinking of something that my mentor would've told me if I was in your situation. She's the one cat in my Clan who's always believed in me. She sees me for who I am, not my blindness." Jaypaw fell silent after that, watching the grass ripple in the breeze.

"It's up to you, Jaypaw. Stay or go."

Jaypaw's thoughts swirled. He wanted to stay here more than anything. If he stayed, the guilt would eat him alive. The Clans would die, and all of this history would've been for nothing. It was all resting on his shoulders. He had to go back. Be the sacrifice. A bitter taste in his mouth.

He shook his head. "I don't want this." His voice broke.

Fallen Leaves wrapped his tail around Jaypaw, pulling him into him. He said nothing, just sat and let Jaypaw mourn the life he wanted. The life he could never have. Jaypaw scored lines into the earth with his claws, gouging deep wounds into the ground. He tore at the grass, striking out over and over again. He stopped, panting, flecks of dirt splattering his muzzle. All he could feel was the strokes of Fallen Leaves's tongue across his fur. Jaypaw leaned against him. Fallen Leaves touch was freezing, but Jaypaw had never felt so warm.

"Come on," Fallen Leaves whispered. "Let's enjoy one last night together." He jumped up, waving his tail behind him. "Bet you can't catch up to me!" He hared off, his white patches bright lights in the dark.

Jaypaw growled. "Hey, you cheater!" He took off after him, chasing Fallen Leaves across the moor. He caught up to him easily, pouncing on him and knocking him down. Fallen Leaves kicked him off, laughing, before taking off again. They ran side by side, matching their pace. Jaypaw glanced at Fallen Leaves. He stared at him, trying to take in every detail of his face and burn it into his mind so that even when the world was dark, he'd remember. The deep green of his eyes, the warmth and light inside them. The russet shades of ginger that faded into the world around him, the bright white patches of his pelt, as translucent as a whisp of smoke. 

Fallen Leaves tired before Jaypaw, flopping to the ground. He heaved, unable to speak. Jaypaw lay down next to him, revelling in the fresh night air as it cooled his body down. When Fallen Leaves no longer sounded heartbeats away from death...well, a second death, Jaypaw rolled around and asked: "What will you do now?"

Fallen Leaves smiled, more contented than Jaypaw had ever seen him. "I'll find my afterlife. I came here to see what became of my tribe, and now I can go. I'm not trapped anymore. I can finally rejoin my family and friends in the Tribe of Endless Hunting, in the skies over the mountains."

"So I'll never see you again?" 

Fallen Leaves sat up, staring deep into Jaypaw's eyes, intense and unblinking. "You will...but you need to forget about me. Fulfil the prophecy first. Have a life. Make friends, have experiences, take a mate; don't waste your life away for me, it's no way to live. When you join StarClan, I'll be there."

Jaypaw shook his head."But if you join the tribe now...that means you'll have to wait until my time to see me again. That's season cycle after season cycle!"

Fallen Leaves leaned against Jaypaw. "Do you think I'll mind waiting? I'll do it for you, just like I wandered those tunnels forever for my family. Now I get to make up for lost time with them and finally enjoy the afterlife. It won't feel like waiting. I expect I'll be soaking up the sun with my friends and family when suddenly you'll pop up." 

Jaypaw lashed his tail. He hated StarClan for this. For showing him the perfect life, then taking it away again. They took Fallen Leaves away from him too, the one cat who knew him like no one else.

They sat and watched pale oranges and blues bleed into the bruised sky, washing away the speckled stars, and the warm glow of the sun warm the landscape. Fallen Leaves drew apart from Jaypaw, his cold fur leaving an even colder absence. He didn't have to say anything. Jaypaw tore his gaze from the sky and stood up. Side by side, he and Fallen Leaves walked up and down the hills, leaving WindClan territory as the dawn awoke its inhabitants. Walking back to Fourtrees was a death sentence, filling his lungs with dirt and his paws with stone. Every step dragged harder against a pull aching from deep inside him, a pull that drove him back to Fallen Leaves and the past. 

"This is where I leave you," Fallen Leaves whispered. His lips curled into a smile. "We'll see each other soon. You'll be older and wiser, and I'll be happier. I know everything looks grim, Jaypaw, but this isn't the end of the world. You can be happy in WindClan. You have Lionpaw, Hollypaw, and your mentor, who will fight for you. Try to enjoy what you can. I spent a very long time wandering endless tunnels, in the dark, alone. Don't do the same thing." He rubbed his cheek along Jaypaw's jaw. 

Jaypaw stood frozen in the moment. He had to go back to his old life...but with the cats in his life by his side, fighting for him...maybe he wouldn't have to wander these tunnels alone. He purred into Fallen Leaves's cheek, his fur soft. Jaypaw drew away. "Goodbye, Fallen Leaves." Without a second look, he squeezed back into the bush. 

Gnarled, hairless feet. Jaypaw raised his eyes to Rock's, flattening his ears to his skull. When he met Rock's gaze, he blinked. Rock didn't look angry, he was relaxed, close to smiling. 

"Well done, Jaypaw. You made the right choice. I knew you would." He stood up. "You're a tough cat. You're not the type to run away to an easier life."

Jaypaw growled. He wasn't running away to an easier life, he wanted to be happy and treated as an equal. What was wrong with that? "Was this some kind of test?" He hissed.

Rock shook his head. "It wasn't set up by StarClan to tempt you away, if that's what you mean. But it is a test. You and the rest of the Four will come up against situations that will force you to make a choice, and sometimes the wrong choice will have catastrophic consequences." His empty eyes stared into Jaypaw, the dappled light casting shadows on his gnarled face. "Make no mistake, Jaypaw. Everything you do is a test."