you sensed my weakness

like a shark senses blood,

licking your lips

each time i took a taste

of that black liquor.

your eyes were...i don't know.

your smile was...i don't know.

you watched me sink

deeper into the bottle—

sip...sip...sip.

my mind entered dark waters and

i didn't know how to swim:

an easy meal.

(this is the stanza where i'd

typically describe you—

but

you're not worth the ink.)

the clock hit 10

when my mind turned in,

but the party kept roaring on:

smoke in the air

laughter downstairs

dancing in the room next door,

and me:

i couldn't tell the ce f i l li o n or g

from the f ce l il o ing or.

a night i don't remember

created a morning i won't forget:

the morning sun

stunned me back to life.

cotton stained

with sweat and sin

covered my shiv'rin' skin,

filth soiled the floor,

and you slept sound

beside me

like you've done this

a million times

before.

the room started spinning

—i didn't want this—

heart started throbbing

—i didn't want this—

mind started screaming

—what have you done!—

skin started itching

—what do i do?—

tears started falling

—what have i become?—

body went numb.

i questioned my life

a million times

before you woke up,

but you only had one:

"this was your first time

huh?"

your eyes reeked of disappointment

(i guess i wasn't the man you thought you won).

my silence was the answer

you knew 

before you took me.

you disappeared, like magic

i never wanted to see,

and left me terrified and hopeless

like a bee after it stings.