Imagine being broke. Imagine being broke so bad that you can't afford the simple things in life. And imagine, this lack of money goes on in your life for a while, but you hold on. You hang in there. You stay strong without giving it much thought. Until one day, you look at other people, buying the things you've wanted to buy without even thinking twice about the cost. That is when you break, when you shatter, when all the feelings of helplessness you've been hiding from yourself explode. Somehow, you begin to pity your own self. At this point, would you really stop to think, OH I SHOULD STOP CRYING BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE MUCH MORE POORER AND THEY STILL HANG IN THERE.

As much as the fact that there people going through worse stands true, it doesn't mean you don't have the right to cry. It doesn't mean it won't hurt. Because it does. You know it. You know it better than anyone else. Just because others might be prone to more pain out there, it won't make your pain any less than it already is. In fact, it would only hurt you more, as you'd then mock yourself for being so abominably impractical. Which you are not. It's okay to be hurt sometimes. 

Now, imagine being a married woman. Imagine being in a marriage where your husband constantly hits you. And imagine being told to remain quite and bear the pain you deserve, so you hold on. You hang in there. You stay strong without giving it much thought. Until one day, you come across another married woman, whose husband doesn't hit her with belts, or slap her harshly across her face, or strangle her and rape her till she begs for mercy. That is when you break, when you shatter, when all the feelings of helplessness you've been hiding from yourself explode. Somehow, you begin to pity your own self. At this point, would you really stop to think, OH I SHOULD STOP CRYING BECAUSE THERE ARE WOMEN SUFFERING MUCH MORE AND THEY STILL HANG IN THERE.

No right? Then why the fuck is it, that this is what the society expects you to do? Why is it, that when women go asking for help, they are burdened with stories of their mothers and grandmothers, who went through worse but still decided not to rebel? As if, being in a society where you are compelled to go through what is wrong, is something to hold pride in. Something to show off. Something to boast about. The number of women you forced to make them submit to their husbands would not add to your family status. 

It makes me frustrated how people find their family status so much more important than their children's lives. So much, that they would force their kids to get married to someone of their "level". Such people who favour arranged marriage over love marriage make me laugh. I mean you would actually let your kid get married to some random stranger for the rest of their lives, instead of letting them get married to someone they see a future with, and someone they find compatible? LMAO, YOU NEED HELP.

And since all this shit wasn't enough, you actually force the women to not rebel for themselves? Today, I ask you a simple question. BITCH, WHY THE FUCK NOT? 

Stop telling women things like, "At least he doesn't harass you in public." Or, "At least he doesn't strangle you." Or, "At least he makes an effort to apologize once or twice." Because apologizing for his mistakes, not strangling or harassing you, giving you the respect you deserve, all these are the things every man should do.

Now, to all the men over here, when I ask you to do all these I am not asking you to be perfect. Because first of all, nobody can be perfect. Someone who is real is not perfect, and someone who is perfect is not real. Besides, all these things are not something very complicated to do. These are the characteristics of behaving with BASIC DECENCY. Like when you go to someone else's house and are expected not to invade their privacy. Or when you are at a restaurant and are expected to have table manners. Or when you are in a library and are expected to maintain silence. When you do all these things, you are not rewarded or glorified for it, because all you  did was behaving with basic decency.

Then why is it, that men who do behave with basic decency are called perfect? Or too good to be true? Why do women have to tell people they have high standards, when all they expect is basic decency? Why are the women who are with these men are with called lucky? No I mean seriously, women are expected to do unpaid labour, run the house, cook the food, take care of the kids, serve the elderly people of the house, leave their parents' house, change their identity, and so much more, but why are the men never told, "OH YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOUR WIFE COOKS FOR YOU!" or "OH YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOUR WIFE LEFT HER HOME FOR YOU!"

Is it really about the luck? Or is it how we, as a society, impact on an individual's brain? We constantly glorify the men for being decent. We constantly tell women that they cannot rebel. We constantly tell the boys that they aren't to be sensitive. We constantly tell women that when they become mothers (NOT IF, WHEN), they would have to sacrifice a lot in order to be a good one. We constantly tend to ignore the existence of the LGBTQIA+ community. We constantly stereotype the "good girls" and "spoilt girls", and the "real men" and "girlish men". We constantly use words like "whore", "slutty", "opinionated", and "over-achiever" to shame women. We constantly use words like "girly", "gay", "weak" and "sensitive" to shame men. We tell the women to "TAKE LESS SPACE" and we tell the men to "MAN UP".

As if being a sex-worker, having opinions, being ambitious or a female or a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or being vulnerable and prone to emotions is something one should be ashamed of. 

So, I ask you again, do you really think it is about the luck, when a man respects a woman? No. It is about how we have been brainwashed, about how we have turned so blind by the society's stereotypes, that we do not tend to realise that being respected does not make you lucky. Because respect is something you earn, something you deserve. And luck does not check one's characteristics before knocking at their door. So stop diminishing a woman's value, by calling her lucky for being respected. Stop telling people who broke stereotypes that they are lucky to have the life they wanted. Because they are not. It wasn't luck that got them here, it was their relentless effort which did.

You aren't lucky, you are resilient. You are awesome. You are loved. AND YOU DESERVE THE WORLD.

Thank you for sticking with me so far.

Love Love,
Vri xx.