I'm so SICK of everything lately! I'm not sad, but I'm not happy either. It's like... It doesn't have to be bad, and somehow I wanna die anyway. I wanna die so bad! I wanna let out the anger, the pain, the guilt, the loneliness, but FUCK! I have to function, I'm not allowed to let out my thoughts because nobody's gonna hear me out. I can't let out my feelings to people who don't know how to comfort me, 'cause there is no comfort. There's only DEATH in all its facettes, the only relief that nobody can give to me. And I'm so TIRED! I'm so sick that I have to be FINE. I have to straighten up. I have to be strong. And finally I swallow all those words in a big gulp forcing a broken smile, as I tell you with watery eyes "I'm fine. Just tired."
- excerpt from a story I'll never write