There was only one thing on my mind when I woke to the sound of my heart monitor.

Danielle.

Once I managed to pry my eyes open, I was temporarily blinded by the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. As soon as my eyes had adjusted, I found my mother leaning forward in the uncomfortable chair, my right hand between both of hers as she bowed her head in a silent prayer, her dark hair masking her entire face. Dad stood behind the chair, both hands resting on Mom's shoulders, his head shaking from one side to the other. My eyes slowly flickered from the two of them to the constant movement of Ash on the other side of the room. She was pacing from one side of the room to the other, bloodied hands buried in her hair as she cried silently.

I wasn't sure what caught me off guard, my mother or Ash. My mother was one of the strongest people I'd ever met in my entire life. I'd only watched her cry three times in the twenty-one years I'd been alive, but the guttural sobs that were leaving her now were so absolutely heartbreaking tears started to fall freely down my own cheeks and spike my heart rate. Ash, who tried to keep her own emotions buried deep and concealed with sarcasm, was seconds from having her own manic episode and all I wanted was her to sit for a second and breathe.

My father was the first to look my way and catch my eyes open. He moved my way and wrapped me in his embrace, hugging me so tightly my ribs ached just the slightest bit. Then, realizing my mother wasn't in any state to follow the action, he offered a sad smile and led her out of the room.

Ash watched in silence as the door shut behind them, then just stood there, as still as the air in the room.

"Ash." I croaked. My voice was so hoarse it was hardly recognizable. "Ash, where's Danni?"

The fact that the three of them were in my room and not my daughters couldn't mean anything good.

Hearing the spoking of my monitor again, she shook herself from her trance and crossed the room to me, gently pressing my back against the bed. "You need to calm yourself, Har. They'll come back in here and dope you up."

Once she was sure I was calm, she took the spot my mother had occupied a couple minutes prior and squeezed my hand.

"Danni is safe." She reassured immediately. "Dalton is in prison. The trial is in a couple weeks, but your mother has no doubt they'll be giving him at least five years."

Five years. Five years and he'd be back on the prowl to hunt me down and kill me for real.

"Danielle is in the pediatric wing of the hospital." Ash continued with a shake of her head. "With a social worker."

My breath caught in my throat and I sat upright, but Ash nudged me back into place once more before I could say a word.

"The good news is they're trying to place her with your parents." Ash whispered, caressing my cheek. "Everything is going to be okay, babe. Once you get all healed up, I already talked to my boss and he said there's a place for you at the bar. My roommate just bailed on me too, so there's an empty room for you to stay."

The flood of the tears that rushed to the surface were so overwhelming that a strangled sob escaped me and Ash climbed onto the bed beside me. She pressed my head against her chest, then whispered, so soft, it was hardly audible, "I told you no matter what you chose, I was here to support you. I'm here, Har. Always."

*

I wasn't sure what was worse; the interrogating from law enforcement or being sedated by a nurse anytime I got worked up. By the time they finally released me from the hospital close to a week later, the detectives had gotten all they could out of me, verbal and written, and had thankfully disappeared for the time being. Unfortunately, so had my parents and Danielle. I wasn't to be near my daughter unless I followed the steps provided by Child Protection Services.

"I didn't do anything." I'd said to Ash on the way back to her apartment in regard to CPS removing my daughter from my custody. "Why are they doing this?"

"You stayed." Ash had responded. "You stayed with him knowing he was hurting the two of you, putting her in harms way. They found drugs in your system at the hospital too, Har. They're doing it for Danielle's safety. It isn't personal."

I had been hurt by the response but didn't say anything, just allowed her to drive the rest of the way home in complete silence. When we walked through the front door, I half expected the walls of the place to be hot pink and photographs of all her favorite bands and celebrities filling the negative space. Instead I found bare grey walls and matching accents in her couch, curtains, and throw pillows.

"The room on the left is mine, you can take the one on the right." Ash said with a smile.

The room was no more than a queen boxspring and mattress and black sheets. Ash dug a very pink comforter out of the closet and set it on the edge of the bed before she gave me some space to get settled. As I sat on the edge of the bed in the quiet, empty room, I stared at the closet door until it became blurred with tears.

I'm not sure how long I sat in that room, my head, nose, and lips throbbing in pain, hand trembling, and body ravaging with sobs. But the minute Ash stepped into the room, I watched her shoulders fall forward and she stared at me with such a sympathetic expression that I cried harder.

"Hey, babe, no." Ash touched one hand to the back of my head to press it against her, the other around my wrist to keep me from digging my nails into my thighs. "Harley."

I brought a hand to my mouth and wiped as I struggled to get out a choked, "I'm so sorry Ash. I'm so sorry."

She gasped, shaking her head. "No, no, stop that. Don't apologize to me, babe."

"You were right." I cried.

She pressed a finger against my lips with another quick shake of her head. "I don't want to hear that, Har. God, I wished every fucking night that I laid in bed thinking about the two of you that I was wrong. That I was mistaken and Dalton was a great, wholesome guy. That one day he'd realize what he was doing and what he'd lose."

"I'm sorry." I repeated. "It's all my fault. I wish he would have killed me."

"Don't ever say that again!" Ash's voice caught in her throat as she took me by the shoulders and forced me to stare at her. "You are worth so much more than that piece of shit. He was nothing. A worthless, little parasite that managed to embed himself in your skin and you couldn't rid yourself of him. You were young, Har, and naïve. You are so deserving of love and happiness, and I know it may not feel like it now, but one day you'll think so too."

I rested my head back against her and nodded, wanting desperately to grasp onto the reassurance. It took a couple minutes and a pool of warmth against my shoulder for me to glance up and find that my best friend was crying, and just the small action brought on a whole other wave of tears.

We spent a long time in that room crying, no words exchanged between us. Eventually she wiped at her face and tried to clean herself up so she could go to work, forcing a mask and smile, and left the room. Leaving me victim to my own thoughts and mind for the rest of the night.