St Barnabas Primary, Kensignton

"Mrs Bulsara-"

"Miss Brannigan, actually" Monica interrupted.

"Terribly sorry, I saw the ring and assumed you were married" Mr Holloway, Johnny and Roshni's teacher, straightened up their two exercise books in his hand whilst the twins sat outside in the corridor.

"So does everyone" she wanted to say.

Garden Lodge had been telephoned by the school, asking a parent or guardian to stay behind after school pick up time and talk to their teacher. Monica only just got the message when Phoebe telephoned her at Theo's production studio when she was about to leave and collect them.

They didn't misbehave at school, although Johnny could be a little bit of a handful at times, so it worried her greatly when the receptionist said that their teacher wanted a word.

"When I asked the class to write about and draw members of their family on Monday morning," Mr Holloway began, "your two children drew an extra family member on their pages..."

She watched as he opened their books to the last few filled pages, pointing at their scribbly drawings. Indeed, they'd drawn what appeared to be an extra adult.

"When our classroom assistant Shirley asked them who it was, they said they had three parents," he continued, "I believe they called the third parent a Feebs?" the teacher looked back at her quizzical.

"Feebs... Phoebe!"

Although both were vaguely drawn, the one scribbled by Roshni was closer to life than Johnny's style. She'd somewhat inherited her mother's observance and her father's skill, and she really captured Phoebe's likeness with a round body and a head on two sticks for her dad. Mr Holloway had awarded her a gold star, despite the amount of red pen on the page.

It took a lot for Monica to stop herself from giggling.

"I see what it is now," she picked them both up off his desk and looked closer. "They've drawn their father's personal assistant Phoebe"

"Phoebe? Have they known her their whole lives?"

"Phoebe is a man actually-"

"A man?" The teacher pressed.

She could hear Johnny and Roshni starting a commotion in the corridor, but decided to; nobody was there to discipline them after school.

"His real name is Peter but their father nicknamed him Phoebe and it stuck," she explained. "You might know him. He drops them off and picks them up at school often times"

"Hold on, does he have a moustache?"

"Yes" she nodded.

"Is he heavy set?"

She nodded again as the twins' ruckus in the corridor only got louder.

"Ahh, Yes, I know the man. I assumed he was their step father or something," he sat up in his chair, "I can see your face in little Johnny and Roshni alright, but Phoebe doesn't look like either of them."

"Yes, well, Johnny got his daddy's eyes, and my nose and hair"

"May I ask, how long has their father employed Phoebe for?" He laced his hands together.

"Since they were several weeks old" she answered.

"Ahhh, well, that explains it then" he took their exercise books out of her hand and shut them.

"Explains what?"

"Why they both think it's normal to have a third parent called a Feebs"

"Yes, well, Phoebe does a lot around the house alongside me," she explained, "and it means that my partner is a father as far as affection goes"

"I understand Miss Brannigan, but could you perhaps talk to them about it?" Embarrassed, he awkwardly took his reading glasses off of the bridge of his nose. "It's confusing the other children who are from what society would consider more... how do I say this right? Conventional families."

"Conventional families?"

"Well, when I say conventional I include some of the children in our school who have divorced parents, others who have only one parent... either way, they all have no more than two"

"But they do love Feebs... he's still very much a member of our family"

"I'm aware of that," he uncomfortably smoothed his hand through his receding hair, "but can you make it clear, in terms of kinship, that Feebs is not a parent but a member of staff?"

She exhaled, "I will try, I don't know how I can do it in a way that would make them understand"

"Next time you take them somewhere, such as the park or the supermarket. Point at a normal family and say, "look, there's another family with a mummy and daddy," he suggested, "or let them find out themselves and ask you why most families don't have a Feebs. They are bound to notice on their own in due course, but I'd rather it be sooner than later to save their peers from confusion"

Monica stood up and held her hand out, "well, whatever normal is these days... I'll take your advice into consideration, but what you must know is that my family is far from your standards"

He shook her hand, "In what way?"

She looked out the door, and Johnny and Roshni happened to flash past, racing and trying to outrun one another.

"I'm going to get there before you do!" Johnny teased.

"NO! I'M FASTER!!" Roshni screamed.

"That poor teacher" Monica thought, rushing to the door as she raised her voice, "Alright! No running in school!"

"Uh, Miss Brannigan?" Mr Holloway interrupted, holding her jacket out to her, "Don't forget this, please shut the door on your way out"

"Oh, thank you!" She quickly grabbed it before leaving, "Johnny? Roshni? We're going now!"

They cheered, and took a hand each as their teacher silently waved at them, and she shut the classroom door behind her.

"What did Mr Holloway want to speak to you about, mummy?" Johnny asked.

"He just wanted to tell me how you two were doing." She half-lied, her hand grazing his head lovingly.

"Where do all the teachers sleep?" Roshni looked around as they walked further down.

"Teachers don't live at school, love," Monica told her, waving at the receptionist as they went past the office window. "They have houses like us"

"Ohh..." she trailed off, and skipped ahead.

"Don't run off!" The woman scolded as she dug through her jacket for her car keys, wondering how she was going to breach the topic when she got home...

*****

Garden Lodge, that night

"You know that every day a helpless child is born..." Freddie had sung repeatedly at the piano in the lounge for the past half hour, working at the same melancholy tune that he'd been humming to himself for weeks now, biting his pen in puzzlement.

He and Brian were collaborating on a song that the guitarist had mainly composed the melody of, deciding that it was better suited to an acoustic guitar. Freddie was left to write the lyrics and so far he'd titled it Is this the world we created, gotten the chorus, and first part of the song. Now he just had to word the second part.

Monica knocked at the door frame, and he lifted his head and looked across the room.

"That sounds lovely. I hope I'm not interrupting" she entered from the kitchen, tying her bed robe.

"Of course not, just picking at a bone at this point" He pat his thigh, shuffling his piano stool out to allow enough room for her.

"What's wrong?" She approached him as he held his hand out, noticing he was visibly frustrated.

"It's this bloody middle part," Freddie sighed, allowing her to settle on his lap, "I can't think of a word that rhymes with 'born'..."

"How about scorn?" She suggested, wrapping her arms around his neck and curling up in his hold.

"Oh no, that's far too malicious. This is a song about humanitarian crises in general" he lifted his notepad off the top of his grand piano.

Monica squinted, looking closer at the scribbled notes as he cradled her, "This doesn't look like a topic you'd address on your own... Brian or Roger?"

"Brian. It'd be more political if it was Roger"

"Piano or guitar?"

"Guitar" he kissed her cheek.

"Acoustic or electric?"

"Acoustic. My god, if it was electric it'd have to be a power ballad with a choir"

She looked closer at the lyrics, knowing she'd have to pay attention to the news even more if she was going to help him pinpoint the worlds' problems.

She set the notepad back down, and turned to pat his cheek, "How about you give it a rest for the night? I came down to tell you that Johnny and Roshni are waiting to be tucked in"

"Did they get a bedtime story?" He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Yes. I did all that"

"Mmmmhhhh..." Freddie reluctantly burrowed his face into her neck.

"You're such a child!" She giggled, pushing him away as he wore a pout.

"Why can't you stay here a bit longer?" He tightened his arms, continuing to behave like a goof.

He pulled her bed robe open a little to expose her cleavage, and started to motorboat her breasts as she laughed, "Freddie, no! You can do that later!"

A voice interrupted, "Uhm, I'm heading off home now"

"Oh, Phoebe! I need to talk to you!" Monica got back onto her feet, fumbling to fix her bed robe.

"Of course" the PA zipped his coat up.

"Talk about what?" Freddie followed her out quickly.

"I'll tell you later," she kissed his cheek, and gestured to the ceiling where loud thumps were sounding, "go and sort that out"

"You said they were tucked in!" Freddie's tone grew irritated.

"Well, I left them waiting too long, didn't I?" Was the only excuse Monica could come up with.

Freddie grumbled as he made his way to the stairwell, the thuds of Johnny and Roshni's feet sounding above his head, "You'd think that they were trying to murder each other..."

"That's that sorted" she turned back to Phoebe as he disappeared up the steps.

"What did you want?" Phoebe asked.

"Here we go" she took a deep breath.

"You know the way the school telephoned the house today asking for me?" She started.

"Yes. Was everything okay?"

"Yes... What happened is that Johnny and Roshni had to draw their family this morning and they included you"

"Aww, that's nice!" The man smiled bashfully.

"Uhm, yeah, it was..." Monica grew hesitant, "I'm not sure how to put this kindly, but they think that they have an extra parent called a Feebs"

Phoebe's kind, helpful grin vanished as his facial expression grew perplexed.

"Their teacher Mr Holloway wanted me to speak to them about it to avoid confusing the other children," she continued, watching as Phoebe listened expectantly, and she struggled to read the look in his eyes, "but I just want you to know that you're still very much a member of our family"

"I understand" he turned away slowly, counting the change for the tube in his pocket.

"Oh no, I've hurt the poor man's feelings" she thought, watching as his body shook and she heard his breath hitch.

His odd breathing pattern turned into giggles, "A Feebs? They thought that they had a third parent called a Feebs?!"

"I'm glad you see the funny side of it" she chuckled with him in relief.

"Well, I'm glad I could end the day with a good laugh," he zipped his coat up, "Do you need me to get anything else in the shop tomorrow"

She thought for a moment, trying to remember what was in the fridge, "We're actually low on cheese"

"Don't worry, that's on the list," he went to the door, "I'll see you in the morning then"

She waved, "Safe travel. Have a good night"

"You too" he shut the door after himself.

He left her standing in the dark hallway in silence, with just Goliath sitting at the bottom of the stairs and washing his paws for company.

"MONICA, GET UP HERE AND HELP ME NOW!!" Freddie hollered from above, the laughter of small children in the background.

"Oh no... looks like your daddy's in trouble again, Golly" she rushed past the black feline as he let out a meow in acknowledgement.

A fort made of several pillows and two single duvets had been made in Johnny and Roshni's lamplit bedroom by the time Monica got upstairs, protecting the three of them.

"Oh, thank fuck. I thought you'd never arrive" he was upside down, laying exasperated in their bedroom floor as they both kneeled around him to keep him from getting away lightly.

"He said a bad word!" Roshni exclaimed.

"Yeah, lets get him!" Johnny said.

Realising his mistake, Freddie rolled onto his stomach in an attempt to get back onto his knees, but his son and daughter were too fast for him.

"MONICAAAA!!" He yelled as they laughed and climbed onto his back.

"Alright, that's enough rough play" she whipped the duvet off above their heads and put it back onto the mattresses, and they both groaned and climbed off of their father.

"He entered our fortress, mummy!" Johnny said as Monica lifted him up off the floor and put him onto his bed.

Freddie lay on the carpet, his pink face down and combed raven hair now disheveled as he huffed and slowly lifted his head.

"Yeah, we had to defend it!" Roshni followed, picking up her teddy.

Freddie's eyes were narrowed, and his face was flat, "Tried to enter it. I tried to enter it and get them out but they went mad!"

"That's enough, you three," Monica put her daughter into bed, "Little children need their sleep"

"But why do grown ups not have to go to bed?" Johnny crossed his arms as his mother tucked his duvet around him.

She smoothed his bangs from his forehead, "Because little boys are growing all the time"

He didn't answer back, and she simply watched as his thick dark eyelashes fluttered closed.

She leaned down and kissed his snub little nose before moving across to his restless partner in crime as Freddie sat on the mattress and tried to get her to lie down.

With ease, Monica put a hand on Roshni's front and back, "Settle back"

With a giggle, the girl fell back and rested her head on her pillow as Freddie looked at her mother in disbelief, "How come they obey you?!"

"I don't let them see me get agitated" Monica said as she fixed her blanket around her daughter.

"I simply don't understand it" the man frowned, and leaned down to kiss Roshni's head before clambering over to his son.

"Goodnight, love" She whispered, gently running her fingers through her little girl's black waves.

He looked at the two precious beings all snuggled up as he sat on the edge of Johnny's bed, then back at Monica's slender waist clenched by the sash of her bed robe, thinking, "I can't believe those two came out of her... our babies"

She reached over and switched the lamp off, plunging their bedroom into darkness. He could quickly hear their breaths become rhythmic.

"You coming?" He heard Monica's voice, and looked over to see her silhouette at the doorway.

He rubbed his eyes and got up, picking Goliath up on his way out; the cats had wondered into their nursery at night and disturbed them in the past.

She quietly closed the door after Freddie as he leaned down to set the cat back down onto the landing carpet.

"At least the cats are easier" he murmured.

"You love them really" She giggled.

He watched as she sauntered over to the stairwell, Goliath bounding after her, his tail in the air like a stick.

She looked over her shoulder, "Come on, then"

"That irresistible twinkle in her eyes..." he got back onto his feet and followed her downstairs.

"I think Golly wants a snack" she chuckled as the cat bounded down the steps, meowing persistently.

"He's not the only one" Freddie muttered seductively as he caught up with her.

"What do you mean?" She stopped at the halfway level.

He put his hand on her bottom, "You know, dearie. You know..."

"I'm afraid I don't" she lied, wearing a sly smirk before bending down to pick up Goliath.

Freddie watched as she headed down the rest of the steps before turning a sharp corner into the kitchen, the black cat looking back at up at him with a complacent look in his big golden green eyes as he perched his paws on Monica's shoulder, purring contently.

He never felt more envious towards a cat before that night.