written: 05.26.24-09.08.24; 12.09.24-

Once upon a time...

In a magical kingdom known as Andalasia, there lived an evil queen. Selfish and cruel, she lived in fear that one day, her daughter or stepson would marry and she would lose her throne forever.

And so, she did all in her power to prevent the princess or prince from ever meeting the one special person with whom they would share true love's kiss. Especially the princess, heiress to the throne.

EVER EVER AFTER

-

"Princess! Princess!" Two bluebirds flew in with a pinecone, asking hopefully, "How about this for your statue?"

In the middle of the room was a life-sized statue of a tall, ginger man in a purple suit with ginger hair. She took the pinecone, smiling at the bluebirds. "How perfect! Thank you ever so much."

"You're welcome."

The bedroom was certainly one fitting of a princess, f/c all over with white curtains on her windows and bed. A teaset sat at a table in the corner and a giant bear in another. Makeup was neatly organized on her vanity table, also white.

Animals ran about to help the princess with her statue, all while a chipmunk barked out orders. "Come on, come on, come on! Okay, you mookses, move it! We have got a face to put togethah here while it's still ingrained in her subcranium."

"Oh, Pip." Princess Y/n picked him up and placed him on her shoulder as she sighed dreamily, spinning around the room, making him hold back a retch. "It was so magical; so...wonderful! We were holding hands and dancing and..." She held him to her chest, not realizing he was struggling to breath. "Oh, he was so handsome and charming...the only one for me...and his eyes..."

"This color?" a rabbit asked, hopping up with two sapphires.

"Blue! How did you know?" She held them up to her eyes with a giggle. "And they sparkle, just like his!" She put them in the center of his face, clapping her hands. "Perfect!"

"Okay. Yeah, yeah." Pip jumped out of her hands and made the other animals move back. "Floor's yours, honey."

"Presenting...my one true love." She turned the statue to face them. "My prince. My dream come true." The animals sighed, but when Y/n saw it, she gasped. "Oh!"

"Whoa, whoa, what? What's the problem?" Pip asked, back on his shoulder.

"I didn't give him any lips," she explained.

A small fawn with big eyes looked up at her, asking curiously, "Does he have to have lips?"

"Of course!" She sat at her vanity table and let all the animals surround her, petting the deer as she began. "When you meet the someone who is meant for you..."

Y/n:
Before two can become one, there is something you must do

Rabbit:
Do you pull each other's tails?

The rabbit who had his tail pulled punched the other off of him.

Bluebird:
Do you feed each other seeds?!

He shoved seeds into the other bluebird's mouth so that he fell. Y/n caught him, sitting back down and stroking his feathers with a single finger.

"No..."

Y/n:
There is something sweeter everybody needs...

A rabbit handed her a ribbon, Y/n tying it in her hair, looking at the statue in the mirror.

Y/n:
I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince, I'm hoping, comes with this
That's what brings ever-aftering so happy

She danced behind a grumpy owl and turned his frown into a smile.

A turtle shyly approached her, handing her a flower.

Y/n:
And that's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch

She took the flower and gave the turtle a kiss on the head. Blushing, he popped back into his shell and fell to the ground. Y/n spun around the statue, her dress twirling with her.

Y/n:
So to spend a life of endless bliss...
Just find who you love
Through true love's kiss...

She tucked the flower into the suit's pocket, gazing up at the sapphire eyes. "We'll need an awful lot more help to find a pair of lips for my dear prince." Opening up the window, she let out a call in the form of a song.

Y/n:
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Animals:
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Birds flew into the palace window, followed by the animals of the forest - from both the window and the fireplace - as Y/n spun around the room, holding her hands to her chest.

Animals:
She's been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince, she's hoping, comes with this
That what brings ever-afterings so happy [So happy...]

They began to pass different items down for her to try as lips: a comb, a pod of peas, a crab, even an apple with teeth painted on. But each time, she shook her head sadly.

Animals:
And that's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch...

A caterpillar crawled out of the apple. She took it and curved it to make a smile on the prince. Unamused, the caterpillar inched away, leaving the princess to shrug and lean against her statue.

Y/n:
So to spend a life of endless bliss,
Just find who you love
Through true love's kiss...

-

Elsewhere, a man rode atop a giant troll with a rope tied around his stomach. He pulled on it, yelling out, "Look out below!" The giant troll fell at the feet of a brown horse with black mane with a handsome redheaded rider who got off and waited for the prince to join him below.

"Amazing, sire! Your tenth troll this month!" another man called, running over and pulling out his stomach over his belt.

As he continued to praise him whilst slipping on the troll and accidentally shoving his hands and feet into his nose, Edward jumped off to join the redhead, grinning broadly. "Why, Gislaine, you haven't caught one in ages. Here." He handed the bit of rope that he still held onto to him, insisting, "You take the next one."

Gislaine smiled, but pushed his hand away. "That's very kind of you, Your Highness, but...lately, I'm just not feeling it. My heart longs to be joined in song."

He sat on the troll's arm, singing out.

Gislaine:
I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a...

Y/n:
...prince, I'm hoping, comes with this...

He stopped singing abruptly, tilting his head out to hear better. "Did...did you hear that, Your Highness? Nathaniel?"

Edward listened out, his face twisted in concentration. Lighting up, he announced, "Indeed, I do. If I'm not mistaken, that's my dear sister, singing out into the open for all to hear."

Nathaniel practically sprinted over, insisting, "No, no. I hear nothing. Nothing."

"I must go to her at once!"

"Oh!" Gislaine was running back to his horse, Edward already having climbed his, while Nathaniel had a panic attack. "Oh, no! Come back, sir! It's a mass hallucination!"

He jumped on, politely requesting, "Take me to the princess, Coconut. Please."

While Edward used a more direct command: "Ride on, Destiny!"

Both of them galloped off, Nathaniel taking a few running steps to them. "Oh! Oh, pooh, oh, no. No. This isn't good. All these years of troll chasing and keeping her locked away, trying to keep him from ever meeting anyone. Oh, the queen!" He took a picture of her from his breast pocket: sharp, narrow eyes, high cheek bones, elaborate hair, and a wicked smile. "No, she's not going to like this, no..."

"True love's kiss..." the troll sang, looking into the sky.

-

Gislaine:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah, true love's kiss...

Coconut splashed through a puddle and jumped over a log, although he did not gallop as quickly as the troll could run past them.

Troll:
True love's kiss...

Edward already had his sword drawn with a cocky smirk. "Oh, you shall not prevail, foul troll! The princess shall have no harm come to her!"

-

The princess sat on her window-couch, gazing out, her hands around her knees. Pip climbed onto them, asking, "Honey, do you really think your dream-boy exists?"

"Oh, Pip. I know he's out there somewhere."

She turned back to her animal friends, just as a giant eye appeared in the window, frightening them into stuttering. "Eye! Eye! Eye! Eye!"

"I, I, I what?"

"I eat you now!"

She looked back, seeing the troll's eye, and screamed, falling off the couch just as his hand shattered through the window and smashed her vanity table. When he pulled out his hand, he saw that he had just grabbed random, broken stuff while Y/n climbed out the window and across the castle's vines to the tree.

"Hey! That's cheating!" He grabbed on, climbing after her. "I supposed to eat you!"

"Oh, no, ya don't, ya big lug!" Pip ran onto him as the troll's weight ended up tipping the branch lower, Y/n letting out a whimper as they began to go down. Pip put a hand on his stomach, admitting, embarrassed, "Wow. I really gotta lay off the nuts."

The troll reached a big hand out to her, licking his lips, green saliva running down his chin. "Girl yummy..."

An arrow shot the branch of the tree, causing Y/n, the troll, and Pip to look, seeing that Prince Edward had shot it, followed by Gislaine, who waved up at them. "Fear not, dear sister! I am here!"

"Edward! And...random guy." She smiled awkwardly, waving at him. With her hand off the branch, she began to slip down, bringing Pip, who had tried to grab her by her big toe. Grabbing onto another branch, she let the original one fling back, the troll being catapulted away, the troll letting out a cartoonish yell. "Pip..." Y/n's fingers began to slip, Pip rushing up her leg to help her up.

"Just hang on, honey. I'm gonna -" Each time he tried to grab a finger, it popped off the branch, the princess falling through the branches with a loud shriek, landing on the lap of Gislaine, her arms thrown around his neck as she looked up at him in wonder.

"Thank you, good sir. You've saved my life. You've..." When she caught gaze into his eyes, her mouth fell open slightly. "Oh...my goodness gracious...why...it's you."

"Indeed?" he agreed with a chuckle, cocking his head. "And you are?"

She blinked at him through her eyelashes. "Princess Y/n..."

"Dearest Y/n..." He took her hand and kissed it, then held it to his chest. "If you agree, I shall take you as my bride tomorrow morn at sunrise."

Gislaine:
You're the fairest maid I've ever met
You were made...

Y/n:
To finish your duet

He took Coconut's reins and led them away from the palace, towards the hills and into the sunset.

Y/n, Gislaine:
And in years to come, we'll reminisce...

Edward followed behind on Destiny, laughing heartily as he watched the couple. "A wedding we shall have!"

Gislaine:
How we came to love...

Y/n:
And grew and grew love...

Y/n, Gislaine:
Since first we knew love
Through true love's kiss!

-

M/n stood by her crystal ball, cape thrown over her torso. In the ball was the image of Gislaine carrying Y/n away into the sunset. She managed a strained smile. "Oh, so this is the little forest rat who thinks he can steal my throne." Expression and tone changed into one of rage as fire shot out from the core of her being, laced with dark, green energy. "NEVER!"

-

The wedding carriage pulled up to the castle, Gislaine in his wedding suit. Nathaniel rushed down to meet him, opening the carriage. Gislaine jumped out so quickly, he bumped Nathaniel. "Oh! Excuse me. I am so sorry. Am I late?" He was jumping around in anticipation.

"No, sir. Just in time."

"Oh, thank goodness." He ran to the steps, Pip popping out after him.

"Hey, wait up! If you think you're marrin' our princess lookin' like that, you got anothah thing comin' to ya, buster!" He whistled, forest animals trampling Nathaniel over.

They ran forward and tied a cape around his shoulders, then the birds dropped a flower into his breast pocket. "Oh! Thank you," he called, waving up at them.

"You're welcome, Gislaine."

Before they could follow him inside, Nathaniel slammed the doors on them, knocking Pip over. "Oh, and what do we look like, garbage?!" He stood and brushed himself off, going around back, muttering, "Close the door on me!"

-

"If you'll allow me..."

But Gislaine was already running far ahead of Nathaniel with a huge smile on his face. "To think in a few moments that Y/n and I..."

-

"Yes, yes."

"That she and me...that we...!" An old hag with grey hair suddenly appeared in front of him, dressed in a black cloak with few, crooked teeth. "Oh, my..."

"Oh, what a lovely groom..." Her voice was high and raspy, creeping Gislaine out.

Politely, he tried to get around her. "That's very kind of you, but I really -"

"No, no!" She knows in front of him, trying to stop him from entering deeper into the courtyard. "Granny has a wedding gift for you."

"Thank you. But I really should get going. You see, I'm -" He went around again until her bony hand seized his wrist. " 'Tis a wishing well, dear."

"But all my wishes are about to come true."

But she led him all the same, continuing on. "But a wish on your wedding day! That's the most magical out all!"

When they got to the well, it turned out to be a fountain, balusters holding up the railings on either side. On one, Y/n sat in her wedding dress, elaborate with puffy sleeves and lace on her skirts. A large bow was tied in the back and she wore a matching necklace and tiara. When she saw Gislaine, she managed a smile, rising. "My dear. I'm ever so happy today."

Awestruck, he answered, "As am I. My darling, you look -"

"Oh, princess!" She bounced over to get in between them, grabbing them both by the shoulders. "Make a wish, my dear, please! Enough wedding magic to go around!"

"Oh? Why that's too kind." She smiled at the hag, who joined their hands together as they gazed deep into the well.

"That's right. Lean in close. Are you wishing for something?"

"I am," the princess replied, closing her eyes, Gislaine marveling at her beauty. "And they both lived happily ever aft -"

A hand on each back, she shoved them both down screaming. "Speciosus, formosus, praeclarus!"

Nathaniel ran over, his hand on his hat, panicking as their screams could be heard no more. "My most adored queen! Where did you send them?!"

"To a place where there are no happily ever afters..."