When i got home Beanie was tied to the fence. I knew aunt Ruby wanted me to walk him and then give him a bath. I inside. "Hey aunt Ruby, i'm gonna take beenie for his walk i'll be back." she mumbled something and i only caught a few words, ungrateful, and twit. We took off walking down our street it was peaceful and quiet.  Walking beenie was one of the only chores i didn't mind doing. For one it got me out of the house and two it gave me time to think. 

                    The only real friends i had at this point any ways where the ones from group. I used to have two best friends but after all this happened, it was just to hard to talk to them and tell them what i was feeling. They weren't going through the same things i was, so i felt they didn't really understand. We did everything together in Jr High before my dad died. I really do wish now though that i had tried to explain to my friends what was going on. So that i would still have somebody to lean on. Somebody i could tell my troubles to even if they had never gone through this. I mean if you can't tell your best friends who can you tell? 

                    Beenie started barking at something up ahead and he took off running. I got pulled in the direction he was headed. My arm jerked and it hurt, because he wasn't a tiny dog. Finally Beanie stopped, landing on top of somebody. "OH Beenie NO! GET OFF. I'm so sorry" "Jess?" i heard from under beenie. "Devin...?i am so sorry." I ran over and pulled beenie off but he didn't want to come, he just kept licking Devin's face. Finally i got him off, i tied his leash to the mail box so he wouldn't leave then stuck my hand out. "I am so sorry about Beenie." He smiled up at me as i pulled him up. "You said that....like three times." He smiled. "And It's OK really, awesome dog." He walked over and petted him. Beenie wagged his tail and jumped. "Wow he really likes you." I said noticing.

                     Devin then reached around and opened up the mail box. "Wait, you live here?" I asked in disbelief. He looked up at his grandparents house. "Yeah." "you never told me you lived here, i mean this close to me." "you never asked." he smiled. "OK... yeah." "My grandmaw just made some cookies, wanna come inside and say hello? Beenie will be fine here for a minute." "sure." He led me up the front walk and into his grandparents house. It was nice compared to where i lived. My aunt didn't really care to decorate much. He walked into the kitchen and put the mail on the counter.                                        "Grandmaw, grandpaw this is Jess, we go to group together." "Oh hi, nice to meet you said his grandmaw." She came over and gave me a hug. His grandmpaw was engrossed in the newspaper he was reading. He looked up and smiled. "Hi, nice to meet you." "you to." i said. "Kenzie the cookies are cool." Said his grandmaw calling to her. She was playing with a toy pony in the living room. She ran into the kitchen. His grandmaw held the plate out to me and Devin.

                     "Hi." Said Kenzie shyly. "Are you his girlfriend?" she asked pointing to her brother." "No." i said blushing. She grabbed a cookie off the plate. "My name is kenzie."She told me. "I'm Jess, how are you?" "not so good, butter cups is really sad cause her momma and daddy went away." "where did they go?"i asked. "Well Buttercups daddy went to jail he was being mean to butter cup, and butter cups mamma went to the doctors for a really long time because she was being a bad mommy." My heart broke. "I'm so sorry, hey...do you think i could meet butter cups?" "Sure shes right over here eating hay." 

                    Me and Devin walked into the living room where she had her horse stuff set up, I crouched on the ground next to butter cup. "Hey buttercup my name is Jess and i'd really like to be your friend." "You would?" Asked Kenzie looking up at me. I smiled then looked at butter cup "Uh huh, i know things are not going so well with mommy and daddy gone, and i know you must really miss them." "I do....I mean buttercups does." I thought carefully of what to say next. "But your grandparents are wonderful they made yummy cookies. They take really good care of you, and they don't hurt you." "Mommy never made cookies and her and daddy did hurt me sometimes." "And your big brother is so great huh?" "And he doesn't have a black eye!" She perked up at the thought of that.                     My cell phone started ringing. I jumped up. "I gotta go home." I let my phone ring. "Aren't you gonna get that?" asked Kenzie. "Uh no, its not important, it was very nice meeting all of you." I told them waving. "Have another cookie." Said their grandmaw i took one. "Mind if i walk you home?"Asked Devin. "ME TO ME TO!" Said Kenzie. Her grandmother took her by the hand and knelt down next to her. "Its starting to get dark out there and it's almost your bed time. How about you jump in the bathtub and i'll put in some bubbles." She said. "But...i really wanted to walk with them." Kenzie whined. "I promise next time i stop by you can walk me home."I said. "Your coming back?" She asked smiling brightly "Well of course me and butter cup are friends now." "you mean me, don't you?" She said giggling. "I do." She ran and gave me a hug. Then took off in the direction of the bathroom. "Thanks for the cookies they were awesome." I said to his grandmaw. "Well your very welcome and thank you, see you later." She waved. His grandpaw looked up from the paper. "Nice meeting you."

                     We walked outside and untied beenie. We started walking. "Did you really mean i'm great to my sister?" "Of course, why do you ask?" "It's just we lived with my dad doing that for to long i should of said something i should of did something but i didn't and it makes me sick. It's just nice to be reminded." "Of course! And little kids are smarter then we give them credit for. I don't think she holds this against you." "Maybe you're right. It's just hard for me to get over it" Beenie tried to take off ahead but i pulled his leash. "I know what you mean there are days when i feel like crap because of what Carl did, but then i think of how i let him say all that stuff to me because i didn't tell anyone." I said. "You were scared, same as me...but we have our reasons for doing what we did." "We did. But for the better everything came out." I said. "Yeah." He tilted his head to the side to move his hair out of his eyes. 

                  We finally arrived back at my aunts house. I let beenie in the gate. "Thanks for walking me home."i said "No problem and thanks for talking to me, you're a great friend. I haven't really felt comfortable talking to my old friends." He said. "Yeah me either, I had two really close friends and now we don't talk anymore." "Oh that sucks i still keep in touch with mine. They always knew something was up. I guess i used the falling down the stairs excuse one to many times." "Ah yes the falling down the stairs excuse I've told that one a few." "I just told them that i didn't feel comfortable talking about it yet. That if i ever did i would let them know, that I went to group and i got it out there. They said they understood that if i ever wanted to talk, they would listen." "I wish i could of done that, i still wish everyday that i still talked to them we used to be so close and now...well my friends consist of you guys in group." I told him shaking my head sadly. "Well we're all pretty great don't you think?" He asked. "Of course, i'll see you next week." "Yeah you to." He waved and started walking home.

                     I went into the back yard and washed beenie while i still had a few minutes of sun. His coat was shining. You would have to know how big beenie was to be able to of knocked Devin down. He is this HUGE golden retriever, and Devin is pretty tall. But unlike reggy who is a straight stick, Devin looked built. Like he had done sports or something. Although nobody in the group was as big as Brad. I guess Football players have to be big so they don't die. I dried Beenie off with a towel. I put some food and water in his bowl from the bins beside his dog house. I went in the back door. 

                    "Where have you been you stupid child?" "Uhm sorry Beenie had to poop, i mean i would of let him do it here in the back yard, but i know you don't like the smell." "Well aren't you sweet? Get in there and make me some chicken." She grumbled. I walked into the kitchen and pulled the chicken from the freezer and cooked it how she liked it. I walked back into the living room and sat her plate on the table in front of her. She was only mad because it was already dark and she wasn't at the casino yet."Well?" she said looking at me like i was stupid. "Uhm."i couldn't think of what i had forgotten "Wheres my peach lime tea?" She said angrily. I went back and got the tea from the fridge and poured her a big glass. I came back and handed it to her. "Go wash all the windows and dust EVERYTHING!"I quickly went to get started. When i was done with the windows she hollered at me. "Come get my dishes and wash them you lazy slob. I'm leaving now." She said grabbing her purse by the door. "While i'm gone i want you to go outside and clean out Beenies dog house, he craps in there because you only take him for a walk once a day. Then I want you to wash the sheets and covers on my bed have them back on there when i get home. Then i want you to get a tooth brush and scrub my shoes in my closet. Have fun." She said walking out the door.

                     I let out a breath when she was gone. I ran to her room and sprayed air freshner on her sheets. I took a tooth brush to the few spots on her shoes. I walked outside and dug the poop out of Beenies dog house. I shoved it into a bag and stuck it into the bigger garbage bag in the kitchen. That bag was full so i took it outside to the green plastic bins to be picked up.