unedited as you will tell after reading this.

Your POV
"i'm coming over soon" was what ethan said though text, i stare at how sudden and straight-forward this was. i thought whether or not to text back something, but i feel for sure that he's already on his way to my house, so i didn't bother.

i tense up knowing that ethan stresses about his girlfriend, who's been very unclear about her relationship with ethan, but i don't bother. it's his problem, but he seems to go to me to talk about the problems and have me solve them.

lets just say that he's really indecisive about the chemistry between him and her. well he felt certain about how he feels about her, but he doesn't know if she feels the same way. it's heartbreaking to hear him feel so scared whether or not she actually is on the same level as him in their relationship.

i hear a blunt knocks on my door, and i knew it was ethan so i got up quick, knowing these days when ethan goes to my house he has a whole lot to share to me.

i open the door, and i immediately gather him in my arms, already feeling he tears wet my sweatshirt on my shoulder. this is a whole knew side of him i never thought i would be a part of. watching him vulnerable right now feels surreal, because he's usual very tough from far away.

"ethan," was all i could breathe out before his loud sobs echo though the whole house. he's having one of the worst mental breakdowns he's ever had, i can tell. he gathers a fistful of my sweatshirt letting out angry tears as i attempt to shut the door with my foot.

his heavy weight was all on my shoulders, making me lose balance a little and weaken. "ethan lets sit down."

"i loved her," he repeated over and over as i got both of us to sit down, but he was still latched on me with his arms locked around my neck with his face burring in the fabric of my shirt.

i didn't when was a good time to calm his chaotic rambling of words the escaped his wet puffy lips. i comb through his knotty hair trying to find a way to comfort him without words.

i hear him choking on air as his loud sobs eventually went to heavy accelerated breathing. maybe it's not the time to talk yet, i thought since i knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to explain what caused this breakdown.

i feel surprised since this is a guy that i look at as a tough stone wall that couldn't be broken down by any force. well, i thought wrong, maybe there is something behind stone wall we all see. i now see such a sensitive soul, dependent on comfort from someone when his wall came tumbling down so suddenly, so dramatically, so violently, and it confuses me how something or someone could cause him to be in such pain.

all i heard from him is a bunch of incoherent i loved her's multiple times until he lost breath. it's obvious who he's talking about but how could she make ethan suffer this badly?

his head falls on my lap, seemingly very exhausted from all that has happened in the past ten minutes. ethan calms down now, silent breathing, and now i'm able to hear the rain tapping on the windows, making the atmosphere around us seem depressing.

my hands remain tangles in his hair, still my way of calming him down. i debate in my head if it's now the right time. he might not want to hear me. probably the silence is helping him out.

"can you talk," he voice breaks the silence and blocks out the rain drops. i look down at him who's waiting for me to speak. he turns his body so he faces me from above.

"what do you want me to say?"my voice spoke, calm and careful, since i don't know if that could break or what could break my best friend again. my confused eyes gaze at his, taking in his features. his eyelids are swollen, and the whites of his eyes are no longer white, they're splashed with a blood-like color. his skin was puffy, making him look surprising chubby, and was rosy. his lips were also puffy and a rose color.

"say words," he says giving a depressing smile to lighten the mood, but is still struggling to find air since he was a balling mess a few minutes ago. he attempts to snuggle closer to me while he manages to say, "your voice is soft," before dissolving into laughter that felt forced. i knew he felt embarrassed so i didn't mind, giving a little giggle after his.

"okay then," i begin, not knowing what i should say to him. i couldn't help but think how adorable he is acting like a child waiting for his mom to sing so he could sleep. i start babbling about whatever could take time.

he never interrupted me, he listened even though i talked the most useless things. i continued my useless jabbering but was mainly distracted with his hand laced with mine. he's my friend, but my gosh did this have a major affect on me. my cheeks gets warmer and warmer by the second. glad he doesn't see it since the room has no possible light because it's night. i'm now praying for him to stop holding my hand, cause i don't want him to hear me stutter or say what i am thinking at this moment.

his thumb rubs the back of my hand so tenderly, making me feel distracted. this simple act is torturing my emotions so badly i feel so lightheaded. i let out a shiver, halting my useless words that were attempted to be spoken to ethan.

"are you cold?" he questions, referring to the rather obvious shutter i just let out. i didn't know what to say so i just shook my head.

then that's when he goes serious. "can i...tell you?"

"if you like."

"i need to tell you."

i keep my head tilted down to meet his gaze. even though it's dark, i can see his eyes glisten.

"today i was thinking maybe i can take her out for dinner and such, get her flowers and...yeah," he starts, playing with the the fabric of my sweatshirt.

"that's nice ethan."

"but when i can to her house, holding the most beautiful roses i could find," he says sitting up and looks at me, already on the verge of breaking down again. "she...she had this..."

i didn't want to hear it.

"this..." he keeps repeating, making my soul shatter by the minute, i feel my tears gather up on my eyelids like a overflowing bowl of water.

"there was this guy and-" and thad when his tears spilled out, pushing his head into his hands, sobbing, making my tears fall too.

i knew how much he loved her. he would do anything to retrieve her love. anything, he's the kindest more understanding boy you'll ever meet. she's lucky to have a guy like ethan. but she tore him down and played him like a dirty rag.

i pull him into my arms, letting his tears yet again wet my shirt. i try to shush him down, combing my fingers through his hair knowing he likes those little things.

"i loved her," he stated, kind of muffled since he was snuggled into my neck. "i-i didn't do anything wrong"

"did i ever hurt her? no"

"did i give her enough affection? yes!"

"did she say she loves me?" he questions but then breaks into more sobs. "SHE NEVER DID!"

"SHE NEVER DID!"

"sh-ethan-"

"she never loved me!" he repeats.

"ethan no, sh-"

"i loved her, i spoke it to her-"

ethan please don't do this to yourself.

"i have her my heart like it was a give," he whispered against my neck, but got angry again, "but tore it like it was shit in her eyes!"

"ethan!" i shout, then he went silent, his breath fanning my neck. "sh...it's okay-"

"it's not okay-"

"it's going to be okay," i say not know what to do.

"it's never okay for me know that my heart is-"

"ethan!" i shout again pushing his body in front of me so i faced him. "you are gonna be okay. you don't need her."

"i needed her."

"no you don't, you'll be perfectly fine without her."

he gazes at me intensely as my thumb caresses his cheeks, wiping away the tears. i never knew how soft ethan can be until now, being this clingy. i take another gaze at him, seeing each imperfections that can't seem to not be imperfect. he's beautiful.

"she'll be nothing without you," i say with all honesty, knowing that she was very dependent on him. this is a little different since he's now dependent on me. but that's ok.

"does anyone love me?" he chokes out, with this depressing sound that could lure me into more tears.

"i love you, ethan," i say playfully ruffling up his hair, trying to lighten the mood, but he remains focused on my eyes, well my face since his eyes were traveling.

i look back at him, who's still silent from my statement, then i felt uncomfortable knowing i said that too. i look down, questioning why i had to say that. my feelings swirl my mind terribly, i don't know what i should do.

i feel like i'm actually falling for him. this entire time, ever since i met him, i truly felt these things towards him without knowing.

the darkness created a scary sensation, not to mention the rain that...suddenly stopped. now it's a whole new level, and this is not the time to be in the dark now.

"i love you too," he says, making me shut my eyes not wanting to look at him knowing i'll burst out any words.

i find my hands entwined with his, my chest tightening again, the loving action yet again making me blush uncontrollably.

his other hand, making me feel more trapped in this spell, find it's way to my cheek, then to my chin, tilting my chin up to meet his alluring gaze that stuns me.

this whole breakdown he had a while ago, it just dissolved, as a pang of another new feeling that he just felt.

too sudden, he feels stunned by what has been uncovered.

"i never thought this," he says adverting his eyes towards our hands that were lovingly laced together, igniting both of our hearts, also making us prone to anything at this moment.

i know for certain we hit something deep within our hearts, masked with anything to hide the feelings, the fact that we had this undeniable connection that builds up anytime. this magnetic field between our pounding hearts become the most powerful force there is, attempting to bond us to relieve the feelings that we've hidden for too long to remember.

hands lace together, the most power touch we've uncovered so far, a touch of lips...probably the fuel to this rising fire of love that we forced to put out with distractions.

from everything we've done, the constant hugging, watching tv together eating ice cream and giggling about absolute shit...was probably our favorite moments in our entire lives.

being with eachother.

ethan felt love once, but never as powerful as the one he just found, unlocked by the simple most lighthearted words, "i love you".

and then we stare, taken back by this very realization that we are indeed not going to be able to hold back ever again.

listen...i was tired.
.
DayDreamingSadness i tried to sleep i did, but i needed to finish this shit.

thank you to the people that spoke up about there feelings in "hear me out". hearing you guys opening up is honestly amazing. i hope all your bad days will dissolve into nothingness, and you'll forever remember the greatest moments of your entire lives.

much love x101001010101010