oooooo, cursing is in this imagine oh boy.
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if you love cringing, read this imagine haha...
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this is long sorry but it's good.........

Your POV
message from ethan at 9:30am
coming home soon

don't call this place your home ethan. it's not a home where we hardly see eachother you dumb shit.

i close my phone and walk back in the bathroom to put my hair in a bun before walking back to the tv room, stumbling a little since i'm still intoxicated.

i sit and slouch on the couch, staring at the tv with my frown. tears fall down my cheeks even though there are jokes playing on the tv.

that's when the door opens, revealing ethan looking like he got out of someone's bed. he used to be the man i loved.

we went everywhere together, we loved eachother and kissed eachother goodnight and good morning. he would make me breakfast and not even bothered if i never helped. he would kiss me so passionately, something i've missed for so long.

he would take me out for dinner every other day, and he would not be bothered to pay for my big meal. "you are the love of my life, my princess. so i should treat you like one" something he would say.

but i still love him

"i'm home," he says with a groggily voice. i'll wait, im not asking for any attention or giving him the loving attention i always used to give. i just stay on the couch, trying to ignore him while watching comedy, still with dampened skin and black smears on my face from the mascara.

"y/n?" he says, probably waiting for his kiss i always gave him when he comes home after spending the night with someone else maybe. i hear the bathroom door open and him cursing while gasping. he probably saw my anger all over that bathroom. i could tell he got mad from that because i hear him groan. "what the hell?" he says loud enough for me to hear. he wants my attention but i keep my gaze at the tv.

i hear his footsteps getting louder every second and then i hear him behind me. "y/n, are you ok?" he asks grasping my shoulder, making my hairs stand, also making me flinch away from him.

"answer me y/n!" he shouts. and that's when i lost it. tears stream down my cheeks and my blood begins boiling.

"fuck off ethan!" i say while turning my head, showing him my mess. he took it all by surprised, looking at everything i had all over me. i looked flushed, very flushed from the alcohol. he turns his head to see the empty vodka bottle and sighs.

he turns his head back to me. "what's going on?"

"ETHAN!!!" i yell shoving him trying to get him to fall. he stumbles but keeps his posture. i let out my loud tries that i had in the bathroom. i go towards him, punching his still glowing perfect body with my lifeless fists. "FUCK YOU!!" i yell slamming my hands on his chest so many times. part of me knows what's going on, but most of me is still drowned in alcohol.

most of my actions i'm giving is drunken anger. i clench a small piece of the collar of ethan's shirt. "who are you? you leave me fucking alone every night, you gave me pain. you ruined my fucking life, playing with my emotions, playing with all my feelings. i fucking loved you, and i still love you hopelessly. but i hate you so much ethan," i whimper coming towards him.

"babe-" he says touching my cheeks, caressing them but i cut him off and shove him.

"YOU LET ME SUFFER ALONE AND NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!" i cry shoving him again.

"princess," he says, trying to play with my emotions. the words always makes me back away from attacking him. but now it's all out. i'm done with this.

"DONT CALL ME PRINCESS!" i say pointing my finger at him.

"y/n i didn't know you felt this way?" he says.

"YOU'VE SEEN ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BUT NEVER DID ANYTHING!" i cry tugging my hair. can i just die. let all this pain go away. "EXPLAIN ALL THOSE WEEKS I HAD?" i shout but look down at the ground. "oh right, you were never here to see it," i whisper loud enough for him to hear me.

he comes near me and grabs my hand. i look up at him and sees his tears well up his eyes. "y/n. i'm so sorry for making you feel this way, i-"

"please don't ethan," i say holding his hand still. "you aren't the man i remembered. you aren't the one i always woke up to. you are the man i wanted."

i look at our hands. "but you ruined me. i hate you so much, but i love you so much," i say sobbing at the last few words. he wipes the tears off my eyes.

i look up at him. "imma screw up babe-" he says.

"don't call me babe," i add.

"-but i'm so sorry for doing this to you," he finishes cupping my cheek leaning on to my face. he places small kisses all over my salty tear covered face and i can feel his hot tears touching mine. i pull away from him. "ethan i can't do this," i finally say. "i can't handle knowing that the man i love is with other people. i can't handle waking up alone and living here alone most of the time. i hate my life right now. i hate myself for loving you," i say helplessly.

he sniffles grasping my face and pulls me back to him. "please don't," he says wiping more tears on me that are falling. i close my eyes, feeling the last few touches he'll ever give me. but i pull away from him. "a life like this is a life i wished i would have never been in, ethan," i say holding his hands, pulling them away from my swollen face.

i walk to the bedroom i've slept in alone for so long, with ethan following behind. i walk into the closet and pull out a suitcase. i plop in on my bed but ethan wraps his arms around my waist behind me. "don't go, princess," he pleads.

i turn my body around and shove. "i said don't fucking call me princess!"

he sobs. "I DONT WANT YOU TO GO!!!" he says while i was packing so much of my shit. "i made mistakes and i may have been a dick to you, and i know i'm no good for you. BUT I LOVE YOU Y/N. i've been with you and i can't live without you now..."

i try hard to stuff at least half of my crap and tried to zip the suitcase, crying while he was talking but it wasn't working. i kept trying to get the zipper to work, but it couldn't. i kept trying until i broke down even more. i slap the suitcase very hard and slam my face on it, crying.

ethan pulls me off and hugs me tight. "please don't," he begs. i feel his tears touch my skin. "give me another chance and i'll fix it, i'll fix everything!" he says.

"ETHAN I'VE GIVEN YOU SO MANY FUCKING CHANCES!" i sob super loud. i calm myself down, "and now it's my turn to make a move."

i finally got the suitcase to zip up and i walk it out of the bedroom. ethan follows behind. while i was walking ethan shouted. "DONT LEAVE Y/N! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE LISTEN!!! I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!" he says behind me.

i turn around to face him. "YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT ME ETHAN. you've done it a lot!" i shout.

he puts his hands in his hair letting out a loud frustrated shout.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ETHAN! AND YOU SHUT ME OUT. YOU FUCKING SHUT ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND NOW ITS MY TURN TO SHUT YOU OUT! everything we had was over from the moment you left me alone for a whole night!" i cry while he sobs even more coming towards me.

"it's never been over between eachother," he says coming closer. "it still isn't over," he finishes before slamming his lips on mine.

i got taken back from the surprise he gave me, but it doesn't let my lips move. i'm not giving in. but part of me will miss his touch, his kiss, and him. this will be the last time we will ever be like this.

i kiss back, which allowed him to deepen the kiss. so much eager, anger, and love was in this kiss, and i hate it so much, but love it so much too. everything was so perfect in this kiss. the kiss had a taste of mint and salty tears, but it was okay.

his soft lips pressed firmly against mine, fitting with mine so perfectly and our lips move so beautifully, so passionately. i'm gonna miss this, everything about this.

we take a deep breath, detaching for about before reattaching. this kiss reminds me of what we used to be. we were lovers, so perfect, almost too perfect.

i pull away from him and we touch foreheads. he laces his hand with mine and our noses touch eachother a little bit. "don't leave, i love you. i want you, i want all of you in my life. i screw up, but i want you to forgive me and give me one more chance." he says lacing the other hand together.

i smile while crying. imagining what we could've been. he continues, "i want a future with you, i want a family with you. i want to be next to you till death. i want you to be with me every step of the way. i want you to be with me through every mistake i go through. i promise ill be the guy you've always wanted."

he cups my cheek. "i love you so much," he whispers.

"i love you too," i say before pulling away from him.

"n-no," he blurts. "no don't-"

he says before sobbing and groaning. "don't please," he whispers seeing me grab my suitcase and rolling it to the door. he kept one hand still laced with mine holding so tight. oh god he makes it hard to leave him. "Y/n," he cries.

i open the door and he shouts. "don't leave please!" he says hugging me tight resting his head on my shoulder, letting his tears mat my shirt. i would forgive him again, i won't give him another chance. i can't be weak. he's now very weak now that i'm leaving.

i'm gonna figure myself out.

"bye ethan," i say pulling away from his tight grasp and walk out the door.

"y/n! princess, i love-" i hear from him before the door shuts.

meh... it was okay i guess.
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my imagines have gained so many reads so quickly it's driving me crazy. every vote i've gotten and every comment has made my day so good.
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please keep voting and commenting because i really appreciate it (i'm so desperate ha).
i promise i'll reply back because i love every comment.
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thank you everyone for reading these!! ilysm<3