I turned right on the road without thinking about it. I knew where Carl was going. He was going to kill Alpha. The idiot. I didn't give Finn and Ben ten minutes to catch up, I didn't even give them one. I left as soon as they were out of ear shot. I wasn't going to put more people's lives in jeopardy because of a mistake that I made four years ago. I was going to get Carl back before he got himself killed, that's a promise I made to myself.

I slowed the RV to a stop when I noticed something in the tree line. A car. It wasn't well covered, though it was clear that whoever stashed it there intended for it to be hidden. I got out of the car, and pulled out my gun, slowly walking over to the car. There wasn't much fuel left these days, if you weren't making it yourself then you were basically screwed. Our communities mostly used horses, but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

I recognised the rusty red four door Audi as a car that Sophia and I salvaged about three and a half years ago. It stuck out to us mainly because the license plate was: FXCK 69. Pure comedy.

I noticed some tracks next to the car. There seemed to be a little struggle before I noticed a dead walker on the floor, then just the one set of tracks continued. I walked along these tracks, following them like my father had taught me. I kept my eyes on the ground, on the trees, the bushes, behind me, in front of me, my left, my right... Looking for walkers and whisperers. I stopped walking when I realised that I was at a boarder. The spikes got my attention. They weren't the same ones that my friends' heads had been placed upon, but they were still wooden spikes carved by the whisperers. Constant reminders of what we lost a year ago.

Carl had crossed the boarder.

"Damnit, Carl." I muttered. The sun was too high in the sky, the day was too bright, it was too dangerous. I needed to wait until nightfall. I turned on my feet and started walking back to the RV. I went into the bedroom before laying down, I decided to get some shut eye before my potentially suicidal mission.

The door to the RV had developed a squeak over the years. In the days where me, Carl and Sophia used to go out scavenging, it was silent. Dad made sure of it to ensure our safety, but as things get old... They change. That squeak could've saved my life. I heard it, and it woke me. I'd always been a light sleeper. Since waking up to Isabella's drunk friends, to Beth singing at three in the morning.

Without a sound, I sat up in the bed. I grabbed my gun and made my way to the bottom of the bed so I could surprise attack anyone who walked through the door. I was going to do that. Attack, kill, ask questions never... Until, something scared me. "Ellie?" Finn's voice called. Finn? "Ellie, you in here?"

I jumped down from the bed and opened the door to see the boy standing by the counter. A goofy smile growing on his face when he saw me. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't wait ten minutes. You said you'd wait." He insisted.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yea, I left to protect you and Ben. Where is he, by the way?"

"Left him back in Alexandria. I managed to convince him that you'd need someone there if you decided to come home." Finn told me. "When that didn't work because he knew you wouldn't give up on Carl, I threatened to tell his mother."

I smiled a little. "Thanks for saving the kid."

"He's older than you." Finn pointed out, sitting on the sofa.

"Not the point, blondie." I huffed, sitting on the sofa. "So, why are you here?"

"Couldn't let you do it alone, brownie- nope, that just sounded racist." He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed. "Sorry."

I laughed a little. "It's fine. I was held hostage by this racist cult once. Now, that was a mess. Literally. We killed them all."

"Oh-" He nodded. "Good for you."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"So... Why are you here?" He asked me.

"To save Carl's ass. He's going to do something stupid, because of something that I did, and I need to stop him. He's my brother, he's my responsibility. I need to get him." I answered.

"What you do?" Finn questioned.

"I made a mistake. It cost Carl's father his life." I admitted, fidgeting with the necklace around my neck. Ever since I got it on my tenth birthday, I've worn it everyday. It reminded me of all the people we'd lost. All the people I'd lost.

"Rick, right?" Finn nodded.

"Rick Grimes." I laughed a little. "Best man I ever met. He made mistakes, like we all do... But, he always made up for them. He was always there, for all of us. And what he lost? I'm surprised he kept going. Rick Grimes is a hero... And, I killed him." I felt tears sting my eyes. "No matter how much time passes. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I took from this world."

"You said he made mistakes too? I'm sure he forgives you for yours." Finn insisted.

I forced a smile and wiped a fallen tear. "Carl never will. And when RJ realises I'm the reason he grew up without a father? He'll hate me too. It's only a matter of time." I then laughed humourlessly. "Everyone hates me at some point. Just a matter of time until you do as well, Finn." I got up from the sofa and leaned my lower back against the counter.

"I'd never hate you, Ellie." Finn got up and took a couple steps closer to me.

"I didn't mean to rant. Sorry." I apologised. "I don't want pity, it's just... I don't know, you're easy to talk too, I guess."

Finn reached up and wiped a couple tears from my face. "We're friends, right?" A small smile was on his lips.

I nodded. "Yea, friends."

"Unless..." He trailed off.

The stupidest bit of hope sparked in my chest. "Unless what?"

"Unless you wanted to be more than that." Finn stated. His voice was stronger than before.

I bit my bottom lip in an attempt to stop my smile. "Finn, this is probably a suicide mission."

"Then why die with regrets?" He asked, his hand coming back up to cup my cheek.

"I don't want to lose you." I warned him.

"And you won't." Finn took another step towards me.

My eyes flickered to his lips. "Good." I whispered.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

"Yes-" The word had barely left my mouth when his lips were on mine. His right hand moved to the base of my neck while his left was on my waist. I brought my hands up so my left was in his hair and my right was on the back of his neck. I didn't hesitate to kiss him back. I was probably going to die trying saving Carl, so why hold back? I deepened the kiss and his hands moved to the back of my thighs, and he picked me up before placing me on the counter. He stood between me legs before putting his right hand on my lower back and his left hand on the base of my neck again. His lips moved delicately but with desperation, like a starved man but with care, gentle but rough, needy but loving. It was difficult to keep up with, but I managed, because I didn't want the feeling to ever stop.

Unfortunately, I pulled back. His forehead rested against mine as we were both breathing deeply. Both our eyes were closed as we were processing what just happened. "Are you okay?" Finn asked, finally. Neither of our hands had moved from where they had been during the kiss.

I hummed. "Better than okay... You can still go back to Alexandria. We cross Alpha's boarders? Who knows what's going to happen." 

Finn pulled his forehead back from mine to speak to me properly. "Then I don't want you to go through it alone." 

I pecked his lips before speaking. "Thank you."

"You can admit it, you were scared." He grinned.

I scoffed, taking my hands back and lightly hitting his chest. "Never."

"You'd miss me though." He smirked.

"Okay, well now you're just getting cocky." I rolled my eyes, smiling as I jumped down from the counter. I accidentally rubbed against him and felt it in his trousers. "Speaking of cock-"

"S-sorry." He stuttered, moving his hands to cover his crotch.

"Not so confident now, are ya?" I laughed.

"I- uhm... It'll go down." He nodded.

I hummed. "We leave a sundown. So, if you need some sleep, or anything... Now's the time, blondie. I know that I need sleep." I smiled up at him, pecking his lips before heading into the bedroom and laying down again. I couldn't stop smiling at the memory of what had happened in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Finn was standing in the doorway. "Hey." He said with a smile.

"Hi." I answered, trying to wipe the smile from my face.

"Its gone down... Can I lay with you? We don't have to do anything, but if we're gonna die tonight-" I cut him off.

"Come here." I moved closer to the wall so he could lay next to me. When he was laying down, I moved closer into his chest. His chin was on top of my head, his arms around me while mine were around him. Our legs intertwined. It was just natural. It felt normal. Like we'd been together for ten years instead of ten minutes.

"Please don't die." He whispered.

I smiled sadly. "I gotta save my brother. I'll do what it takes to get him home."

"Then I'll do what it takes to get you home."

The sun had set. We both had backpacks on. We stashed the RV before heading back towards the forest. I followed Carl's tracks again and we both stopped in front of the wooden spikes. "Now's your chance to turn back, blondie. Once you cross this line, there's no going back."

He turned to me. "Then there's no going back." Finn took a step forward so he had officially crossed the boarder.

I stepped forward too. "Let's go get Carl."